Anew
by imgoingtocallyoufern
Summary: "As they spent each and every day with one another, sometimes there was heat. Actually that wasn't really true: there was always heat between the two of them. Even careless and seemingly inept conversations that they shared usually lead to flirtatious remarks, and neither Kensi nor Deeks was sure how it would all play out." (DENSI) Romance/Humor/Drama
1. Hazy

**Hello! Here is the start of yet *****another* story. It will _definitely_ be longer than the last one though, so be sure to add it to your alerts. ****Hope you all enjoy, and please review! =)**

**P.S. The next chapter will be longer, I promise! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

Kensi strolled through her front door after work, immediately grabbing the home phone off the entry table before dropping her bag down on the floor and sinking deep into her couch.

She dialed Nell's phone number frantically, near hyperventilation and desperate for someone to talk to after another baffling, mystifying, and purely confusing day with her partner.

Yeah, that was what she had decided she'd stick to calling him: _her partner. _He was he partner, definitely, but he was still so much more than that, and giving him that simple title was much easier than making some lame attempt to put a label on their _thing._

Her best friend picked up after only two rings. "Hey Kens! What's up?"

"Nell!" She practically screamed into the phone, her tone a mixture of delight and panic. "We need to talk. Can you pleeeeeeease come over?"

"Um, sure!" There was a short silence as Nell tried to figure out what the hell was going on. "Are you alright?"

Kensi laughed, the pitch of her voice still sounding slightly higher than usual.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know how to put this. It's um… it's complicated." She nodded her head from shoulder to shoulder, contemplating how to explain the severity of her situation.

"It's Deeks."

Nell's reply wasn't a question; she knew what Kensi had meant immediately when she used that word: _complicated_. The girl had taken the brunt of enough drunken late-night rambles from her friend about the man to know that he was the only person who could make her act that way. The only guy with enough control over Kensi to cause her body to practically melt and make her nervously call her friend like a fifth grader who had just held her crush's hand.

But no, this was so much bigger than that.

Kensi exhaled, forcing herself to breathe normally. "Yeah."

"Right. I'll be there in 10."

The phone clicked off and Kensi was once again left to her own accord, a million thoughts flooding to the forefront of her mind.

The funny part was, nothing had actually happened with Deeks- and that was the problem. It's not like they had melodramatically confessed their feelings to one another; it was actually quite the opposite.

_Nothing _had happened. Nothing had happened for four years. And she was sick of holding everything in.

So, rather than revealing how she was feeling to Deeks, she opted instead to talk to someone who posed much less of a threat. Someone who would listen, and could most likely give out some advice to a girl who was desperately seeking it.

In order to quickly pass the time before Nell arrived, Kensi grabbed two beers from the fridge- one for her to start drinking then, and another for Nell to have when she arrived.

She paced back and forth across the small space until she heard three knocks at her door. It was opened in about three seconds to reveal a smiley Nell, clad in flannel pajama bottoms and an over sized tee shirt. It was ten o'clock- she shouldn't have been surprised.

"I can't stop thinking about him," Kensi said simply as soon as she opened up the door, not even bothering to properly greet her friend.

Nell shot her a knowing look with raised eyebrows and placed her hands on her hips.

"I already know that sweetie," she replied as she walked into the apartment, dropping down onto the couch. "Tell me the rest. The new stuff, whatever that is."

Kensi grinned and sat down across from her, handing Nell a beer before leaning back against the left armrest. "I just can't do this anymore Nell! Every single time we talk, the conversation somehow always goes back to a flirty place."

"That's surprising," Nell said sarcastically, taking a sip of beer.

"I'm serious! The other day I looked out the window and said, 'it looks like the sun is finally coming out!' Do you want to know what he said?"

Nell nodded eagerly, obviously intrigued as she sipped her beer.

Kensi narrowed her eyes to slits, not amused as she thought back to her partner's response.

"He asked if I needed him to rub sunscreen on me."

Nell nearly spit her beer out across the couch. "Are you kidding?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

Nell smirked and shook her head. "Nope. But I mean, what changed? Last time we talked everything was fine."

Kensi threw her hands up in the air and let them land back down on her lap with a quiet thud.

"I don't know Nell… I mean for a little while there, we were fine. _I _was fine. I was alright with where we were and how we acted and just… content. But recently, it's become so…"

"Different?" Nell suggested, offering to complete Kensi's sentence.

She nodded weakly and looked towards the floor, as if deep in thought. "I can't breathe when I'm around him. Seriously." Kensi glanced up to meet Nell's eye line, shaking her head.

"It's like he controls my emotions, and it's actually beginning to piss me off," she said with a small laugh. "If he is laughing, than so am I. If he is smiling, than so am I. If he is upset, than I am like a freaking mess- hell, I tend to get more upset than him!"

She sunk deep into the couch, until her head was resting against the arm rest and her feet were nearly on Nell's lap. "You are like, super smart right?"

Nell smirked and shrugged slightly. "Yeah, I guess."

"Than tell me what to dooooo," she whined, rubbing her eyes with her fingers and letting her voice reach an even higher decibel level than before.

"Look, Kensi: only you know how you feel about the guy. You have to ask yourself what it is about him that is making you so… emotional, for lack of a better word."

Kensi contemplated Nell's suggestion for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing and a frown creasing her forehead. "What if I can't think of anything in particular? What does that mean?"

Nell's smile grew and she took a swig of her beer, resting even farther back into the couch.

"That means you're in love with him."


	2. Discovered

**Thank you for all the kind reviews! Last night an idea came to me for a way to extend the story for a little while, so I think that I am going to do it. I'm not sure how long a **_**little while **_**is at this point, but we'll figure it out as we go. ;)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

_"That means you're in love with him."_

"Oh my god, Nell! What are you talking about? That's ridiculous!" Kensi exclaimed, waving her hand in the air, completely disregarding her comment. "I'm not in love with Deeks. He's, well… he's _Deeks._"

Nell dropped her jaw so her mouth was slightly ajar and rolled her eyes, not bothering to hold anything back. "Are you kidding me Kensi? Look, you know I love you, but I have to say something here."

She sat up tall and pulled her legs up underneath her so she was sitting crisscrossed. Staging a one woman intervention was long overdue. "Here's the thing. You call me over here to talk about him at least once a month. Whenever I see you two together, it's as if you're already dating. Everyone, and I mean _everyone _thinks you two belong together. It's so insanely obvious, and it blows my mind that you can't see it! I mean, you say that you can't stop thinking about him, and that when he feels something, you do to. You do realize that this isn't normal partner behavior, right?"

Kensi didn't look convinced, so Nell continued on. "I asked you to think of something in particular about Deeks that made you feel _that way_ about him, because if there was just one thing that made you adore him, than it would probably be considered lust. If you thought his hair was too perfect, or his eyes, or his laugh, or whatever. But judging by the look on your face, that's not the case, now is it?"

Kensi's lips were pressed into a firm line, her expression stanch and serious. She knew Nell was right, because everything that she said was totally true.

It wasn't one thing in particular about Deeks that made her so infatuated with him- it was everything about him.

She couldn't even count the number of times than she had begun to map out their future together in her mind. And she had to say- it looked rather perfect.

Deeks and her would date for six months, maybe a year. He would pop the question at a time and place that was unexpected, just in order to surprise her. They would walk Monty on the beach, go surfing nearly every day, and get married somewhere in the midst of it all. She saw the little ninja assasins she would have with him, a perfect mixture of them both. Her sharp cheekbones and warm brown eyes, his wavy hair and continuously cheeky grin.

"Kensi!" Nell snapped her fingers in Kensi's face as she stared down at the ground, her mind obviously elsewhere.

"See? You're thinking about him right now." She shook her head, gloating. "I knew it. You're hot for Deeks."

Kensi blushed just a tad, and covered it up by hopping up from the couch once she realized that both her and Nell had run out of beer.

"Don't be a bitch," Kensi said jokingly, smirking as she grabbed the empty bottle out of Nell's hand.

"I'm just stating what is already glaringly obvious. And you know what Kens? The guy is mad about you too."

Luckily Kensi was in the kitchen by the time she said the second part- close enough that she could hear her words, yet far enough away that Nell couldn't see her reaction.

Kensi dropped the bottles in the recycling bin and grabbed two more from the fridge: she wasn't sure about Nell, but Kensi knew that she needed at least one more beer to help get her through the night.

"Seriously though- it's like everyone knows that you guys are going to end up together except you two. Whether you're in denial or what, I don't know. I'm not your therapist. Or I shouldn't be, at least." Nell said with a knowing grin as Kensi handed her the longneck.

"You're not my therapist," Kensi said matter-of-factly as she sat back down on the couch. "You're just my friend who gives really good relationship advice."

Without another word, Kensi flipped on the television and turned it to some ridiculous old cop show that they loved to watch and make fun of, mostly for its large amount of vastly inaccurate gunfights and one-liners.

Nell didn't keep her mouth shut for long though, as another thought popped into her head. "Have you ever kissed him before?"

She had a tendency of being blunt, sure, but the question still came out of nowhere.

"Where the heck did that come from?" Kensi asked, letting her attention drift away from the television and back towards Nell.

"I was just kind of wondering. I mean I'm sure you would have told me, but still…"

Nell sure had a gift for playing the guilt card, and Kensi couldn't help but fall right into her trap.

"Fine! We've kissed once."

Kensi saw Nell's smile growing wide with excitement, but she quickly put one hand up towards her face, putting a damper on the mood.

"It wasn't _real _Nell. It was undercover."

She wasn't convinced. "Undercover, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

Kensi lightly swatted her on the arm and dramatically rolled her eyes. "It's what happened, okay? I had to kiss him to create a diversion, and-"

"Really Kensi? A _diversion? _I'm not a moron. If you hadn't wanted to kiss him, undercover or not, you wouldn't have done it."

"That's totally not true."

Nell grinned and took another swig of beer. "Just keep telling yourself that."

They went back to watching the old cop show, but Kensi wasn't interested. Her mind quickly drifted elsewhere, back to the whereabouts of her partner.

She wondered where he was, what he was doing, and if it was possible that he was having some of the same thoughts as her. Thoughts about them, finally being together. Finally crossing the imaginary line that had been separating them for years, and becoming more than just partners.

Her mind couldn't help but remind her though, that the perfect future she had conjured up before was counting on one thing: that neither her nor Deeks found some way to screw it all up. They both had a poor track record when it came to the longevity of their relationships, and Kensi knew that she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she ruined it for the both of them.

Deeks meant far too much to her- if they did get together, there was no way she was going to let him slip away. The last thing she wanted was to get a little sliver of what could be, and then have it ripped away just as fast as it came to her.

There was still one uncertain element of it all though- and that was Deeks. How was she to be so sure that he felt the exact same way as her? That was the factor that had kept her at arms length for so many years.

If she put herself out there, becoming vulnerable and defenseless, there was always the looming possibility of rejection. So Kensi did what she always did when things became hazy- she suppressed her feelings and carried on with everyday life, sure that if she left the thoughts unaddressed for long enough they would just begin to fade away.

But that hadn't happened yet, and she was beginning to believe that it never would.

* * *

Kensi yawned as she wandered into OSP the next morning, taking a sip of her coffee in the hopes that it would wake her up. Nell hadn't left until around midnight the night before- and though Kensi was tired, she was glad that they'd gotten the chance to talk. Nell was an smart, unbiased third party- the perfect person to get advice from.

Her eyes scoured the bullpen for her desk and she sat down quickly, glancing around for her other teammates. Mostly, she was looking for Deeks, who was nowhere to be found.

Callen was at his desk, but he was the only one who had arrived so far.

"Morning," she said simply with a nod.

"Hey," he replied, not bothering to actually look up from his paperwork. Sam came in next, and it was the same exact conversation. Very few words, along with lots of yawning in the early morning light that was streaming in through the overhead windows.

Of course, that all changed the moment Deeks walked through the doors.

"Morning everyone. Sam, Callen… Kensi," he offered, glancing around to everyone in the room, his voice lingering on Kensi's name just a second too long to be considered normal.

She was the only one who picked up on it though, or even considered his phrasing to be mildly suspicious. Once again, he was taking a meaningless statement and making it something more.

"Morning Deeks." She responded, only giving him a simple grin. Kensi had been attempting to push every thought that she'd had about Deeks last night completely out of her mind, but so far she hadn't been entirely successful.

"Oh my god! Are you _already _eating tacos? It's like seven am!" Kensi yelled at him, appalled, as she watched her partner dive into a little paper container holding two tacos, most likely ones from the food truck that was parked just up the street.

He chewed for a moment and swallowed, quick to defend himself. "Yes, I am already eating tacos. It is called a _breakfast _taco, Blye. Get over it."

"Isn't that a contradiction, Deeks?"

"Nope. These bad boys have been around for years. Some egg, a little bacon, and lots of cheese. The perfect American breakfast." He had yet to dive into the second one, and held it up to her with wide eyes. "Look, if you're hungry, you're welcome to have some- I've got plenty."

The last sentence was actually genuine, and suddenly Deeks looked just as vulnerable as some kid in grade school offering to share lunch with his crush.

Kensi stared at Deeks for a long moment, her mind reeling from the comment. She had been planning on teasing him, and couldn't believe that a sincere comment was actually in his repertoire.

_No. Stop it. He is just offering you food, nothing more. Pull yourself together. _

Kensi just awkwardly scrambled for something to say, hoping it wouldn't come across as being too odd or impromptu, which it obviously was.

"Um, yeah- I'm good. But thank you."

Deeks grinned, happy that he was able throw Kensi off her game. He was slightly unsettled though, as he sensed that her mind was elsewhere, judging by how she was staring at the surface of her desk, not actually seeming to look at any of her paperwork as she mindlessly arranged it all into separate stacks.

Callen watched her with a confused stare, his eyes jumping back and forth from her to Deeks. He was finally beginning to sense what was going on; he had a knack for noticing things that Sam might sometimes miss.

There was just this constant energy between them, and sometimes just being in a room with the two of them made him feel like he was interrupting a private moment. Kensi kept glancing up from her desk every two minutes or so, locking eyes with Deeks for a split second before dropping his gaze and blushing ever so slightly. Deeks did the same exact thing though, except even when she looked up and caught him staring, he didn't take his eyes off of her.

It was pretty likely that Sam was never going to see what he saw though- because in his mind, Kensi couldn't stand Deeks, and Deeks was just a player who would never actually care about his partner. And it was going to take a lot of convincing for Sam to see it otherwise.

On the other hand, Callen had noticed the way that they looked at each other and how they'd flirted for _years._ More recently though, the way they acted had traveled past flirty looks.

Slowly but surely, it was all becoming _real._ Too real to be ignored.


	3. Becoming Clearer

**Just a little disclaimer: in this story **_**Descent **_**never occurred. Overnight my story has gotten more than 800 views- so thank you! =) I hope you all enjoy this chapter- please review as always! **

**-Hazel**

**P.S. If you watch Castle, you may recognize a quote from the show that I threw into the story ;)**

* * *

Kensi and Deeks carried on in the same way for probably another ten minutes: Deeks longingly staring at his partner while Kensi unsuccessfully attempted to avoid his line of sight.

Deeks finally broke the silence though, as he slammed a completed case file down on his desk.

"Finished! One of the perks of not being an actual NCIS agent: I don't have to fill out as much paperwork as all you suckers do. WIN!"

She hated when he reminded her of that fact- usually she could forget that he wasn't _actually _an NCIS agent, but rather an LAPD liaison officer, whose position with them could be taken away at any second. Granted it was a very unlikely occurrence, but it was one that still loomed over her head.

Kensi rolled her eyes and glanced down to her desk, of which the surface was cluttered with paperwork and random, incomplete case files.

"There's no need to brag Deeks."

He shrugged and took a long sip of his coffee. "No worries, Fern. I know you're just jealous."

Sam shot Callen a confused look, who just knitted his eyebrows and mouthed, _"Fern?" _across the room to his partner.

Kensi and Deeks were already into one of their witty-banter conversations, and failed to notice the confusion that was being felt across the room.

"Really Deeks? _Me, _jealous? I don't get jealous."

He actually laughed out loud at her comment. "Ha! You're kidding, right? You get jealous over practically everything that involves me and not you."

Kensi wasn't giving in that easily, so she stayed true to her statement. "I'm your partner. I get _protective. _There is a big difference."

Deeks shook his head with a smug grin. "Uh-uh. Being _protective _means that you push me out of harms way when a bullet is flying towards my head, which I do appreciate, by the way-"

"No problem," she interjected.

"-but being _jealous _is like the exact definition of what you do."

"Give me one good reason why I should be _jealous _of you, Deeks_._"

"You're not jealous of me, you're jealous of the _people_ around me."

There was a momentary silence as Kensi contemplated her answer, wondering whether or not they should be discussing this at work, as it could end very, very badly. But still, there really was no other way to go about it, so she asked the implied question anyways.

Kensi narrowed her eyes to slits and folded her arms. "Who?"

Callen's eyes grew wide and he tucked his head, whispering, "Here we go," as they awaited Deeks' reply.

He leaned back in his chair, happy to name off a long list of people and scenarios where Kensi had lost her cool.

"Um, lemme think. Just a few months ago when I had to go undercover with Monica, when I flirted with some random girl when we went out and grabbed drinks after work, as well as all the many times I've tried to use you as a wingman. Oh, and _especially _when I kissed Nicole. The guys mentioned something about that."

He was way too happy as he made that last comment, and Kensi was shocked, her mouth just slightly ajar as she glanced around to her coworkers, who were both staring at Deeks.

"Seriously dude?"

"We were trying to be nice when we told you that. Remind us to never do that again."

Kensi's eyes danced around the room before they finally landed on her partner. He didn't even bother to reply to Sam and Callen's comments, but instead kept his eyes glued to her the entire time.

She didn't deny the allegation- so there it was, out there on the table. Deeks finally knew how much that little kiss had aggravated her; how she'd actually had to physically remove herself from the situation before things got out of hand.

The look that he was giving her was slightly serious, but still partial to proving his point. She couldn't bear to think of him as Max Gentry, the infamous alias that she wished she could forget about altogether. But there he was, again and again, reappearing at the most unfortunate of times.

Sitting in the boatshed and watching Deeks lock lips with his alias's old girlfriend Nicole was one of the most difficult things she'd ever had to see, as it sometimes became difficult to distinguish between the two of them: Max and Deeks. During those couple of days he almost disappeared from her altogether, as she watched him slowly slip back into his old life.

He was a guy who wandered into bars, punching some random dude in the face within the first five minutes of being there. He seemed eager to get into bar fights, and had little or no regard for anyone else's feelings whatsoever. He was cold and distant and rude, and he wasn't her partner. He wasn't Deeks.

And the last thing she wanted to do was attempt to explain all that to him. So instead, there was just silence. Deeks stared at her, just waiting for her to break and admit that he was right; that she got jealous when she saw him with anyone that wasn't her.

But he knew that wasn't going to happen- at least not there, and certainly not in front of her coworkers.

Luckily for Kensi though, their long-winded staring contest was interrupted by a loud whistle from Eric- one that was way too chipper for seven thirty in the morning.

"We've got a case!"

Kensi was thankful for the interruption, and she popped up from her desk in no time, making sure that she was the first person to the stairs.

"Whoa! Kensi's excited!" Deeks exclaimed as he ran up behind her, hastily making his way to her side. It was easier to pretend that nothing had just happened; so they did just that. All of them.

"Like a kid on Christmas," Sam added as he followed.

Callen chimed in with a grin as he trailed behind the rest of the pack. "Yeah- with a dead body under the tree."

. . .

As they walked into ops Kensi couldn't help but stare at Nell, who had an unsettlingly elated grin strewn across her face.

She winked at Kensi, big enough for Kensi to see, yet just subtle enough that the guys didn't seem to take note. Hetty was standing alongside her, waiting in the wings to brief her team.

"Well, Mr. Deeks, Ms. Byle, you may or may not be pleased to know that you two are going back undercover again."

Callen looked over to Sam, unsure if that was a good or a bad thing after everything that had already gone down that morning.

Deeks flashed a crooked smile and glanced down to his feet. "So you mean-"

"As a married couple? Yes, I do," Hetty replied, cutting him off immediately with a sly smile. "You'll be staying in a house together again as well."

Nell's eyes widened and she smirked, completely concentrated on Kensi's reaction.

She looked shocked at first, her expression obviously one of surprise. That look quickly shifted to a smile though, and Kensi actually had to hold back her grin in order to avoid giving away how pleased she was about their newfound situation.

Going undercover with Deeks as a married couple was fun- almost too much fun. It had given her a glimpse into this perfect little domesticated life that she could have with him, in all of its neighborhood barbequing, minivan driving, and sweatpants-wearing glory.

Even in light of the fact that one of their neighbors was a Russian sleeper agent, it had been a nearly perfect week.

Hetty glanced down to her watch and began walking towards the door. "I'll let Eric and Nell brief you- I have a conference call with Assistant Director Granger. Have fun you two!"

Deeks' eyes grew wide and he mouthed, "wow" to nobody in particular as she walked out the two automatic doors, disappearing completely out of their sight.

"Did she seriously just say that?"

Eric acknowledged his comment first. "Weirdly enough, she did."

"Yup."

"It's still kinda creeping me out."

Deeks sighed and turned to face his partner, placing his hands in his pockets while wearing a smug grin. "So Jason and Melissa are back together again, huh?"

Kensi heart rate picked up speed until it reached a nearly supersonic rate, but their little moment was quickly interrupted by Nell, who chimed in for the first time.

"Actually, it's John and Nicole this time. I think you two blew your cover when you ran around the neighborhood, wielding guns."

Deeks grinned. "Oh! Right. I forgot about that part."

"I actually do need to brief you guys," Eric said in an attempt to reel them back in to what was actually important: the case. "Like Nell said, you two going undercover as John and Nicole."

He pointed to the monitor, pulling up two fake id's that he had created, the names _John Jackson and Nicole Jackson _written across the top, along with their pictures.

"It's actually a similar m.o. to the last case- you will be living in a residential area again. Except this time, one of your neighbors is on a terrorist watch list that was sent to us. Your house will have a perfect view into their's- so we want you to plant some cameras and snoop around a little bit, maybe try to figure out what they're up to."

"We can do that." Deeks said, nodding simply as he turned his attention back to Kensi. "You ready, sugar bear?"

He added the last bit with a cheeky grin and watched as every single agent, except Nell, pulled a face, each person voicing his or her disgust at the use of that phrase.

"Really guys? Come on. It's a term of endearment."

"Nobody says that Deeks."

"Not even married couples."

They all began wandering towards the door, even Kensi, who shot him some raised eyebrows and began following her coworkers out.

"Oh come on! Wifey? Princess? Princesssss?"

It was going to be an interesting week.


	4. Grasping at Straws

**Now we've reached over 2,000 views- you guys are like reading machines! And I am a writing machine, so it is the perfect combination. This is the longest chapter so far! =) Btw, my apologies in advance to anyone named Nikki… I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review as always!**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"This place is a bit smaller than the last one, don't you think?" Deeks asked as he stepped out of the driver's side of Kensi's car and walked around to stand by her side.

They had immediately gone to their separate homes after the briefing at OSP, packed their suitcases in less than an hour, and driven back to work so that they could arrive at their temporary home together- anything else would have seemed suspicious.

Kensi leaned back against the car, taking it all in. "I don't know_ John_- I think it's cute. Quaint."

"Whatever you say Nikki," he replied, winding one arm around her shoulders.

She folded her arms and turned towards him, only to find that her nose was just about two inches away from his.

"Really Deeks? _Nikki?_ I believe my name is Nicole."

He threw her a crooked smile- the type that caused Kensi to loose her train of thought and make her breathing become staggered.

"I know babe. But Nikki just sounds so much better. It's a nickname."

She ignored his use of the word _babe _and ducked underneath the arm that he'd wound around her shoulders, walking around to the trunk of her car.

"Nope. It's a stripper name."

He raised his eyebrows, peering after her as she walked away.

"Promise?"

"I am _not _giving you a lap dance, so stop thinking about it."

He whispered "We'll see," but Kensi didn't hear him.

She reappeared only holding her purse and backpack, nothing else. "Come on hubby- go carry the bags for your wife."

Deeks obeyed without a single word and ran around to the back of the car, easily lifting their two suitcases and carrying them towards the charming little house. It was an old style colonial- complete with planter boxes under the windows, wooden shutters, and a white picket fence.

Although it was smaller than the last house they'd lived in together, Deeks knew he loved it immediately when he walked through the front door. It seemed exactly like the type of home he'd pictured living in if him and Kensi were actually married in _real life. _

Neither of them made enough money to afford a home like the one that they'd stayed in last time, and the house that he'd just walked into would be the perfect size for the two of them- and possibly some little ninja assassins.

_Geez dude. Pull yourself together. _

He couldn't believe that thought had actually just run through his mind. Sure he'd thought of it plenty of times before, but by that point in time their situation was already changing. Their _thing_ was becoming more real every single day, and they were about to reach a boiling point. He could just feel it.

It may not have seemed like it, but Deeks definitely had a limit as to how many flirty conversations he could have with his partner until, eventually, something pushed him over the edge.

Hopefully it wasn't going to occur during that undercover op, but he couldn't count on it.

Deeks couldn't see Kensi when he first walked into the house, so he called out for her, his over-protective-husband instincts already kicking into high gear.

"Hey Nicole? Wanna help me with the bags?"

"No!"

That was the only response he got, and it sounded as if it was coming from upstairs.

He jogged up them two at a time, and ran down the hallway to the right. "Marco?"

Kensi let out a laugh that echoed through the small house.

"I'm in our bedroom!"

Following the hallway to the room at the end, he found his partner sitting on the edge of the king sized bed, a gossip magazine in hand.

He chuckled and continued to hold their bags, just standing frozen in the doorway.

"Wow. I never thought I'd hear you say that."

Kensi raised her eyebrows. "I was merely stating my location, nothing else."

"Got it. By the way, why exactly am I carrying your stuff?"

Kensi stood up from the bed, smirking and crossing her arms as she walked over to face him.

"Because you're my husband, remember? It's what husbands do. The good ones, at least."

"Look at that. We've been here for five minutes and you've already pegged me as being a _good husband_."

"I didn't mean it like that- Deeks!"

He ignored her and began walking away towards the closet. "La la la la! I can't hear youuuuu!"

She rolled her eyes and followed behind him into their descent sized walk-in closet, where she spotted a built in dresser with six drawers.

"I get three, you get three?" He suggested, setting himself and both of their suitcases down on the floor.

"Deal."

Kensi immediately dropped to her knees and reached past Deeks to grab her bag. He wrapped one hand quickly around her wrist though, stopping her from moving any closer to it.

"What are you doing?"

"It's called unpacking."

"Um, no. You fold clothes like an animal," he said, his OCD already becoming readily apparent.

"Seriously? I think I can handle this."

"I don't think _I _can handle it though," he said, cringing slightly. "Just let me unpack both of our suitcases."

He saw the look that she was shooting him, and gave her an overly enthusiastic smile. "Please?"

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. Just leave my, um, _intimates _in the bag."

They both sat there for a moment, before Kensi realized what felt so weird about the situation: his hand was still wrapped around her wrist.

"Do you want to let go now Deeks?"

"Yeah. Sorry," he whispered, immediately relaxing his grip around her wrist.

"Okay then! I'll let you get to it, and I'll go, um, set up some of the surveillance equipment!" Kensi spoke awkwardly and quickly as she stood up, showed him a toothless smile, and walked backwards out the door.

Once Deeks was out of her sight she turned around, took a deep breath and ran one hand through her hair.

Ten minutes in, and he was already inappropriately touching her.

'_It wasn't inappropriate,' _she quickly reminded herself. '_We just made it inappropriate.'_

That was something that they tended to do fairly regularly.

* * *

"John? Are you done yet?" Kensi hollered up the stairs to Deeks, assuming that she should actually start to call him by his undercover name.

"Yeah! I'm coming!" She heard his footsteps come rapidly bounding across the hallway above her and then thumping down the stairs until he slowed down, casually walking into the kitchen.

"Hey Kens, what's- hold up. What are you doing?"

Kensi stood perched over the stove, stirring sauce around in a pot. The whole kitchen was a mess really, with miscellaneous pots and pans scattered everywhere for no apparent reason.

She smiled proudly and continued stirring. "I'm cooking dinner."

"Yes, I can see that. But, um, why?"

Deeks was stunned- Kensi wasn't exactly known for her cooking abilities. He had witnessed firsthand as she pretended to bake cookies when they'd actually come from a box, when she put tin foil in the microwave, and as she lived solely off of burgers and takeout for at least the past four years.

Kensi had been expecting that type of response from him, so it wasn't too shocking.

"I'm your wife! Aren't I supposed to cook you dinner?"

Deeks' facial expression was slowly shifting into a huge grin as he reached up and scratched his head.

The little spectacle that she had created certainly wasn't helping Deeks push back the mental image that he had been seeing of them, years down the road.

"Yeah, I guess. I just never pictured that you would take to the role so… naturally."

The look he gave her was so real, so sincere; Kensi couldn't help but freeze where she stood and stare at him, spoon in hand.

_So it isn't just me- he can picture us together too. _

Kensi's thoughts and the looming silence was interrupted as the sauce that she was stirring began to boil, nearly bubbling over the side of the pan.

"Crap!"

She turned down the heat and went back to stirring the sauce, avoiding Deeks' stare.

"So… what are you cooking?" Deeks asked as he slipped into a bar stool across from her, trying his best to quickly change the subject.

"Spaghetti with red sauce. Something simple."

He grinned but still looked worried, unsure if the food would actually be safe to eat.

Kensi rolled her eyes and nodded her head towards an empty bottle on the counter. "It came from a jar. But I've had it before- and it's really good. I promise."

"Still, you're making the noodles yourself- that's considered _cooking."_

"Yeah. I think I can handle boiling some water."

"Sure," Deeks said was a sarcastic nod and grin.

* * *

"Okay, I'm shocked. The pasta was really good. I'll give you that."

Deeks sat on the couch with his partner, two empty plates left on the coffee table in front of them.

Kensi had already set up the surveillance equipment earlier that evening, so there wasn't too much left for them to do other than curl up on the couch and watch TV.

They kept a respectable distance between the two of them, of course, as they were only _pretending _to be a married couple.

Kensi had flipped it to the top model marathon as soon as they sat down, and Deeks didn't mind watching, as he received endless and vastly entertaining commentary from his partner on every scenario, argument, and tear that was shed on the show.

Kensi sat up slightly as they reached a commercial break, leaning against the side of the couch and turning her attention to Deeks.

"I'm glad you liked it. Surprised, but still glad."

He chuckled and turned to face her, unsure of what else to say. It was difficult for the scenario not to be perceived as romantic, as it sure seemed that way to the both of them. On this op, things were different; so calm and relaxed. They weren't shooting at anyone, and even better, they weren't being shot at.

Hetty had been right all along- going undercover together tended to bring up 'unfamiliar feelings and emotions.' Except the second time around, the feelings that were bubbling up inside of them both weren't unfamiliar whatsoever; they knew them all too well.

Kensi studied his face, quickly realizing how handsome his features were; as if she could've forgotten. His wavy blond hair, which was still ruffled on one side from leaning up against the couch. His scruffy, unshaven face. His bright blue eyes, which were the clearest she'd seen them recently. He just looked happy, which made her happy.

She searched for something to say, and began to speak as she fiddled with her wedding ring. "You know I always thought that when I finally got married, Hetty wouldn't be the one who gave me the ring."

Deeks chuckled and beamed at her, glad that she had found a way to inject humor into the situation.

"Hetty didn't give it to you. John did."

"Ohhhh, right!" She replied sarcastically, smiling and rolling her eyes.

"You know Kensi-"

"Nicole,"

"-that's what I meant. Anyways… I really do like undercover cases like this one."

Kensi remained silent for a moment as she continued to play with her new wedding band.

"You mean that you like under-_the-_covers assignments."

He wore a smirk, but a more serious expression was lurking close behind it.

"Yes. But I like them with you in particular."

Kensi swallowed hard, not expecting that type of response to come out of him.

"You mean you didn't like them with _Monica?" _She asked, failing to make eye contact as she spatted out the woman's name bitterly.

His reply couldn't have come any quicker. "No."

Kensi's head quickly jolted upright, and her pulse quickened to a point where she assumed it was most likely visible to the naked eye.

"Really?" Kensi asked, her voice lowered to a mere whisper.

"She was awful…" He shook his head and chuckled. "Like really, really, awful."

Kensi's eyes were shining with delight as she laughed in agreement. "Yeah, I know. You forget that I listened in on your little conversations."

His smile faltered, but only momentarily. "Right, I almost forgot about that part."

Deeks couldn't help but flash back to that uncomfortable previous scenario that they'd had to experience together- the one where Kensi had sat in her car down the block, awkwardly having to listen in as Deeks smooched with Monica.

He shook his mind to rid it of the bad thoughts and gazed at Kensi. "Anyways… I just meant that I like being here, with you."

Kensi had no clue as to what she was supposed to say, or what he was leading to by making that statement. His words were just there- lingering in the air and waiting to be addressed.

"So now _you're_ going all soft on _me? _Quite a change from the last time we went on this type of op, huh?"

"A lot of things have changed since last time- you know that."

The mounting anticipation tightened Kensi's throat. She wasn't exactly sure what he meant- but she still knew that he was right. They had grown closer together as partners, but it was so much more complicated than that.

As they spent each and every day with one another, sometimes there was heat. Actually that wasn't really true: there was _always_ heat between the two of them. Even careless and seemingly inept conversations that they shared usually lead to flirtatious remarks, and neither Kensi nor Deeks was sure how it would all play out.

Kensi wasn't certain that night was a good time for them to begin discussing it all though, so she just tucked her head and reached forward, picking up their plates from off the coffee table.

"Yeah John- a lot has changed. Including the fact that I must now call you John," she said, smirking and walking away towards the kitchen.

If Deeks hadn't known it before, than he certainly understood in that moment how difficult it was to going to be to break down Kensi's walls. He was hoping that with a couple of heartfelt words and meaningful looks he'd be able to get through to her and show that he cared- but she wasn't going to make it that easy for him.

Deeks wasn't sure what exactly it was going to take for Kensi to finally open up to him, but he was going to make sure that, eventually, it happened. That _they _happened. That he hadn't been sitting around, conjuring up some perfect image of the two of them in his mind for nothing.

He needed _her, _and getting her was taking so much longer than he'd hoped. Over the years Deeks had conceived many different plots and schemes that he believed would result in Kensi finally being with him, but none of them had turned out to be successful.

Plan B was to woo her with his vast arsenal of rapier wit and killer good looks- but that hadn't worked out quite yet, so he was switching to plan C. Plan C basically consisted of the exact same thing- he was just going to be much more persistent about it.

Plan A was telling her how he felt a long, long time ago. Practically the day he met her.


	5. Boundaries

**Now this is the longest chapter so far! I hope you all enjoy it- I **_**really **_**loved writing this one:) This is where some of the drama comes into play- please review as always! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

Kensi squinted her eyes as she was slowly awakened by the light that streamed in through the bedroom windows, casting shadows through the wooden shutters. Her eyes widened immediately though, as she noticed that her face was a mere three inches from her partner's.

When they'd fallen asleep she had made certain that they kept a good distance between themselves, but apparently at some point in the night they'd both decided to move in closer. Kensi knew it wasn't just her; they were both lying in the very center of the bed.

Kensi didn't move away immediately though, as she noticed her partner's nose twitching in the early morning light.

_Oh, so he's happy. Oh my God- he's happy! _

She couldn't help but find him adorable, with his ruffled blond hair and scruffy unshaved face. She couldn't lay there forever though, so gently and slowly she attempted to pull herself away from him.

Oddly enough Kensi was unsuccessful, as she felt Deeks' arm wrapped tightly around her midsection, his hand on her stomach, holding her close to him. She was sure that he'd just acted upon gut instinct after sharing a bed with her for the night, but Kensi still couldn't help but think of it as so much more than that.

Kensi attempted to wiggle out of his arms but Deeks' grip just tightened as he stirred in his sleep, pulling her even closer to him, until their noses were nearly touching.

Kensi knew that if she woke him up to pull him away from her than they would just have a whole new set of problems, so instead she relaxed, closed her eyes and laid there, waiting for Deeks to have the surprise of his life when he woke up.

Besides- lying there with him was nice. Really nice. Too nice to ruin.

* * *

'Oh my God!'

That was what Deeks silently mouthed, eyes wide as he stared forward at his partner's face, which was less than an inch from his.

He could hear Kensi's heart beat, slow and even coming from her chest, which was pressed up against his.

Deeks took in his surroundings without moving a muscle, his eyes flashing every which way around the room until finally landing back on Kensi.

She was so perfectly gorgeous; even first thing in the morning. Her features were saturated with happiness, and Deeks couldn't help but feel the exact same way.

He so desperately wished that it was all actually real, and that he could wake up every single morning to the exact same view: Kensi.

Slowly and carefully he lifted his arm off of her hip and pulled himself away from her towards the far left side of the bed. Deeks could've sworn that he'd seen Kensi's face fall slightly, but he decided that his eyes were just playing tricks on him.

Once he was a safe distance away, Deeks threw the covers back off of his side and stood up, stretching and yawning as Kensi remained perfectly still in bed.

* * *

Deeks envied the cup of coffee that got to kiss her sleepy lips awake each cold and bitter morning, and that was all he could think about as he watched her take a sip of coffee after they both rolled out of bed.

He had gotten up first for obvious reasons, and through Kensi had fallen back asleep for another thirty minutes or so after she'd realized their peculiar situation for the first time, she laid there for nearly another hour before Deeks finally woke up himself, and she'd pretended to be asleep as he slowly pulled away from her.

So they were just standing downstairs, sipping coffee and wondering if the other person knew as much as they did.

"So Kensi…"

_Don't ask about this morning. Don't ask about this morning. Don't ask about this morning…_

"We should probably go and video call Eric, see if anything popped on the surveillance footage."

Kensi felt rather foolish for thinking that Deeks would be addressing anything other than the case.

"Yeah! Definitely! Maybe just let me shower and brush my teeth first?"

Deeks nodded and ran one hand over his face. "Yeah- me too. You can go first though."

He spoke the last sentence with a definite cheekiness- Plan C was being put into action. Truthfully it had been _in action _for the past year and a half, but that was beside the point.

"Thanks _John," _Kensi said, kissing him on the cheek as she walked past. He was supposed to be her husband after all, and the excuse seemed valid enough to use. She lingered there for a moment, and stood up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

"Oh, and nice job cuddling with me this morning- Hun bun." Kensi punched him in the shoulder as she muttered the last two words, a proud smirk washed across her face.

Kensi knew that if one of them didn't mention it soon it was likely to come out awkwardly at some point down the road, and she didn't want that to be the case.

"Okay, oww," Deeks moaned, buckled over slightly: she carried a strong punch. Kensi didn't turn around as she walked away, heading towards the stairs with a cup of coffee in hand.

"You know I think this is what they call domestic abuse!" He hollered after her once he finally was able to stand upright.

Kensi spun around on the chairs and stuck her tongue out at him, letting out a howling laugh as she disappeared from his sight.

* * *

"Hey Eric! You there?" Deeks asked, waving one hand in front of the webcam.

"Yup! How's it going?"

Kensi and Deeks were sitting next to each other on the couch, with Deeks' laptop propped up on the coffee table in front of them.

They'd both taken turns sharing their bathroom that day, each one showering and getting ready for really nothing in particular. They went out for a light lunch- allowing some of their new neighbors to see them out in public.

It was around six at night by that point- they'd spent the majority of their day fiddling with surveillance equipment; nothing too exciting. Eventually though they'd remembered that they had to call Eric, so that was what they were doing right then.

The partners turned to look at one another with raised eyebrows after Eric asked his question. They both knew full well that he was referring to the case, but their minds couldn't help but go to another place.

"Fine," Kensi said simply with a strained smile, partially unwilling and partially unsure of how to try and explain their current situation.

Eric began speaking to Deeks about surveillance equipment and miscellaneous tips, but Kensi was ultimately too consumed with Nell in the background.

Her best friend was sitting next to Eric, but still slightly behind him. She nodded along to what Eric was saying for a moment before finally picking up her phone and briefly holding it in the video screen, where Kensi could see it. She barely waved it near the camera before taking it away again, and Deeks didn't seem to notice it at all.

Kensi clearly understood what her friend was hinting at though, and she pulled her cell phone from her pocket, placing it on mute so that she could begin to receive what she suspected would be a long stream of text messages from Nell.

Kensi continued to allow Deeks to chat with Eric- she'd get the information from him later on; it would give them something to talk about and help them to avoid awkward staring contests like the one that they'd had the night before.

She watched as Nell removed herself from view of the camera, told Eric that she had to go give some paperwork to Hetty, and within a matter of seconds the first text message came in.

_What is happening with D? Tell me everything. I need to know- I'm dying over here._

Kensi tried very hard to hold back her smile as she read Nell's message and began to type her reply.

"Eh-em. Um, Kensi? Who are you talking to?" Both Eric and Deeks were staring at her as she looked up from her phone.

"Oh, sorry. It's my, um, mom." Deeks creased his eyebrows, not looking totally convinced by her answer.

"Can you fill me in on all this later? I kinda need to talk to her."

Deeks glanced to Eric, who just shrugged. "Yeah, totally. I'll make sure that he gives you the full report."

Kensi smiled awkwardly and took her chance to leave the room. "Thanks guys."

She ran upstairs to her and Deeks' bedroom, pulling the door shut behind her and suddenly feeling like a twelve year old girl who was chatting about her crush with her best friend.

In reality though, that was what was happening. She just wasn't twelve.

Kensi resumed typing her message though, as she had only gotten the first two words in before.

_It's already been rather eventful, but I'll try to give you the short version for now. Deeks unpacked my suitcase for me while I cooked dinner downstairs, and when he came down he told me that I took to the role of 'wife' very naturally. Than we sat, ate, and watched some TV. For a little bit things were fine- until they became super awkward. He said that he liked undercover assignments with me in particular, and that a lot of things had 'changed' since last time. AND, this morning, I woke up with my face, like, almost smashed up against his- I actually had to wait for him to wake up before I could get out of bed, because he had one arm wound around my waist. *__The end of my rant.__*_

Kensi hit send and just sat there for a moment, looking back over what she had just typed. When it was all put together like that, so short and concise, she could hardly believe it herself.

They were fully grown adults, and Kensi was acting as if Deeks was the first person she'd ever had feelings for.

Nell's reply came in quick, and she had to stifle a loud laugh as she read the words that were printed in all caps across her screen.

_THAT IS THE SHORT VERSION?! Holy shit. You guys have some issues that you need to iron out- I mean it._

Kensi sent her a simple reply. She knew that her friend was right, but didn't really want to hear it.

_I know, I know. We'll get around to it eventually:) _

She heard footsteps coming towards her from down the hall, and immediately tucked her phone into the pocket of her jeans.

"Wifey?" Deeks asked as he slowly opened the door and peered in around the corner to look at Kensi.

"Hey," she said, letting out a breath that she hadn't even realized she'd been holding.

He looked rather concerned- she had run away without much warning or reason as to why she was doing it.

"Is your mom alright?" Deeks asked the question with sincerity, though he didn't actually believe that Kensi had been chatting with her mom.

It made sense that she would've been talking to Nell, as they both left the room at almost the exact same time, but he wasn't going to bring it up. They had already been walking on eggshells with one another, and Deeks definitely didn't want to press his luck.

"Yeah- everything is fine. She just needed to, er, talk."

Deeks nodded and walked over towards her at a leisurely pace, smiling as he sat down on the bed next to her.

"Do you wanna know what Eric said? About the case?"

"Oh," Kensi had yet to take note of how smiley Deeks was, his expression seeming overly enthusiastic for just a simple conversation. "Yeah. Sure."

"Well- Eric and Nell received another tip, and have been sifting through all the surveillance footage from the cameras that you set up last night. It seems as if our neighbors are up to something fishy, according to them. Rarely leaving the house, no cars going in or out- but they're still in there. I don't know, it's just kinda odd."

"Okay… so where does leave us?"

She was still confused as to why he was smiling; it didn't really seem like a good situation for anyone.

"We get to stay in the house for at least the next week."

_Oh. So that's why he's grinning like an idiot._

Kensi tried her very best to cover up her smile and hit him with a joke. "Great. Another few days with Mr. OCD. Can't wait."

He wasn't buying her act though- Deeks could see straight through it. All of it.

"You know, I'm sorry that I, um… cuddled with you this morning." That word sounded so strange to use, but he couldn't think of another one to take its place. "You didn't mind it though Fern- I could tell."

Kensi chuckled. "If you think _that _is the case, than I'm not sure that you know me as well as you think you do."

"That's soooo not true." His expression morphed slightly, from a cheeky grin to something slightly more serious. "I know you better than anyone."

Kensi studied his face, looking for some sort of a clue as to what was going through that mind of his, but she found nothing.

"Do you really think that?"

He nodded profusely.

"Alright then," Kensi said, tossing her hands up in the air.

He wasn't getting it. "Alright _what?"_

"If you're so confident, than go for it. Give it your best shot. Explain me to, well, _me."_

Deeks was up for the challenge, and Kensi was genuinely curious as to what he was going to say. So, he grinned and took a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"You are the type of girl with an anxiety disorder, a filled appointment book, and multiple five year plans. You take yourself and your job very, very seriously. You are a do-gooder, a giver, and a saver. You are a packrat- and you save basically everything from your past because you believe that one day down the road, you might possibly need it. You are usually on time, partially because you drive like a bat out of hell. You are overly prepared, well read, witty, intellectually curious, and always moving. You pride yourself on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self- deprivation. You drink beer- a lot of it. You run six miles a day and are on a whole shit load of Prozac and multivitamins. You are relentless, judgmental towards yourself, and forgiving to others.

"Even with all that though, you have an incredibly large amount of self-respect, which I admire you for. You try desperately hard to not be as passive aggressive or careless as your mother, and eventually want to marry a man as inspiring as your father."

He took a deep breath and evaluated Kensi's expression before giving his final remarks. "Growing up people told you that 'you could be anything,' but in your mind you heard that 'you had to be everything.' So you did just that."

Kensi could hardly believe how startlingly accurate his interpretation of her was.

Although she desperately wanted to, there was no possible way for Kensi to play that off as a joke or find some loophole out so they didn't have to confront one another. There was nowhere left to run, no place left to hide. She had to deal with all aspects of her life head on- and one of the main aspects that had gone undressed for far too long was Deeks.

Was he a partner or something more? It was killing her, and she just had to know.

Still, with all that in mind, the only simple thing she could mutter was, "Whoa."

He did good- too good. Whatever doubt or trepidation Kensi had felt before was pushed aside in that moment, as she accepted full well that Deeks was right. He knew her better than anyone; almost better than she knew herself.

"..So you see Kensi,"Deeks said, before she could add anything to his statement. "I do know you. I know you very well."

Kensi simply shrugged.

"What does _that _mean?" He asked, imitating her in obvious annoyance.

"I don't know Deeks… you say all that, but what does any of it really mean?" She bit her lip, struggling to find the right words. "You can't just say some long, sprawled out, perfect little speech about me and then leave it at that."

"Well what do you want me to say?"

"I don't want to tell you what you have to say!" She exclaimed, quickly growing annoyed. "If you have something to say, than just say it already!"

She prayed that his next words would be that he loved her, or cared about her, or had feelings for her, but there was only silence. Kensi knew that could've meant two things: either that Deeks wanted to move past the _just partners _stage in their relationship, or that he didn't have anything more to say to her.

Slowly though Deeks regained his speech, shooting his head up to stare at her intensely with his majestic blue eyes.

"You know what? I've already had to grasp and claw for every word, every smile, every stare," he asked the next question with a fierce intensity. "Why should now be any different?"

Kensi's vision narrowed to pinpricks as she willed herself to stay upright. She was angry, upset, embarrassed, and hurt- all at the same time.

"You can be a real ass sometimes, you know that?"

Kensi picked herself up from off the bed and walked into the bathroom, grabbing her toothbrush from the sink and her pajamas from the dresser.

"You take the bed- I'll sleep on the couch. Goodnight."

Kensi spoke bitterly, slamming the door shut behind her as she left.


	6. Let It Out

**Just a little disclaimer: there isn't any time lapse between the last chapter and this one:) Please enjoy and review as always- I'm going to reply to all the reviews that are posted today!**

**-Hazel**

**P.S. I just got a tumblr! From time to time I'll be posting little snippets or paragraphs that I can't quite make into full stories- ****so go follow me! **SO excited about my screen name haha- I'm shocked that it wasn't already taken! (imgoingtocallyoufern is my username)

* * *

"Kensi? Kens just wait up a minute!"

Deeks hollered after her and stood up from the bed, jogging over towards the door but stopping with one hand on the doorknob.

Should he let her leave, or go after her? That was the question that ravaged his mind, but in the end he decided to go with the latter. Sometimes he needed to give Kensi her space, but then again he really didn't want to.

They had both gotten scared- and acted like cowards because of it. Each so close to addressing their feelings, but then backing out at the last second. There was no way that Deeks was going to let her spend the rest of the night thinking that he didn't have something more to say to her- because he did.

He pulled the door open and stormed down the stairs to find Kensi curled up on the couch, eyes misty with tears.

"Hey," Deeks said breathlessly, his face still in an expression of shock.

"Hey." Kensi replied, swallowing and keeping her face turned away from him, her voice quivering slightly as she spoke.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

Her answer was short and gruff.

"You only say that _you're fine_ when you aren't actually fine."

There was just silence. He could only see half her face, and watched as she wiped one lone tear quickly off her cheek, hoping that Deeks hadn't noticed it.

"Talk to me."

It was so much more of a statement than a question.

"Not now Deeks."

"It's John, actually."

"Well I don't care!" She exclaimed, exasperated as she turned around to face him.

He was taken aback, and took one step away from her, placing his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry for what I said. Everything is just so… odd, between us right now. We are playing a married couple, and you, and then I-" Deeks stumbled over his words before finally giving up. There was no possible way he'd be able to successfully describe their situation to her with a few simple words. She knew what he meant- it wasn't necessary for him to spell it out to her. "I've never experienced anything like this before. That's all."

Kensi shook her head, not hearing a word he said. "You know that after all these years of flirting, joking, and sometimes even surprisingly meaningful conversations, I'm sitting here, wondering if it was all for nothing? Because all those times… it really didn't feel like that. It felt like it was leading to something."

There was a momentarily silence as Deeks stared at her, his eyes wide and his mouth open just a hilt, as if he was searching for the perfect thing to say. "It is leading to something. I mean, what else do you think all of this-" he said, motioning back and forth between the two of them, "is about then?"

Kensi didn't even mutter another word. Had he just said what she _thought _he had? Her mind was reeling from his comment, and Kensi was still finding it hard to believe that after all of the build up and trepidation they were actually talking about the huge elephant in the room.

Everything had been piling up for years and years, and after all that time they were finally reaching the peak of it all. Both people were fed up with holding it all in, and in that moment Kensi couldn't keep her act up any longer.

They had a 'thing'; it was constantly denied, thoroughly refuted, and rarely talked about- but it was a thing nonetheless.

She figured that if Deeks really believed that their so called 'thing' was actually going somewhere, then the words that she so desperately wanted to get off of her chest were safe to say: so Kensi took the opportunity and ran with it.

She stood up from the couch and turned to face him fully. "Are you sure about that? Because in my mind it seems as if we've been dancing around the truth for years now. You never say what you really mean, and neither do I. We've been putting up with all this insanity for so long and I am just done," Kensi said, folding her arms across her chest. "I'm really done."

She stopped speaking and swallowed the lump that was growing in her throat. Her eyes were stinging.

Deeks stared at her in blank amazement, with a hint of sadness looming in his eyes. He couldn't tell which of the two possibilities Kensi meant by that statement, and the shock momentarily robbed Deeks of his speech altogether. He saw the importance of the situation though, and quickly regained his voice.

"Well if that's the case… then I need to tell you something that I should have said a long time ago."

Deeks shook his head and sucked in an unsteady deep breath, peering up to the ceiling before he spoke.

"In my mind, the hardest thing to do in life is to find someone who you get to know really well, and you learn all about their mistakes and weaknesses… but somehow, you still find them completely amazing. That's what I found with you."

Kensi had never heard Deeks speak that way to her before, and to say that she was shocked would have been to underestimate the situation entirely. She was stunned. Floored. Baffled and out of words. Luckily for her sake though he continued speaking, so rather than trying to make some comment that she knew would pale in comparison to what he'd just told her, she listened.

"I'm still here Kensi. I know everyone says that, but it's true. I'm still here. Waiting for you. And I have been for years now. Whether you just haven't noticed it or have failed to acknowledge it, I'm not sure- but it's true. "

Deeks' voice nearly cracked as he watched the tears that were pooling in Kensi's eyes, so he just whispered the next sentence. "I'm unaware of where here actually is because I honestly don't know what the hell is going on but regardless- I'm still here."

Deeks felt sick to his stomach; a lasting blaze of uncertainty burning furiously in his eyes.

"I have feelings for you Kensi, and no matter how many times I try to tell myself that I shouldn't, the feelings are still there, and for some goddamn reason a part of me just won't let you go."

Deeks pointed up the stairs towards their bedroom. "Everything that I just said, I meant. 100 percent."

"Everything?" She asked, her voice merely a whisper as the tears continued to flow.

"Everything," He grinned and sheepishly looked down to the floor. "I know you better than anyone else does. I know every single one of your faults and transgressions- but for some reason they don't matter. You can be aggravating, maddening, extremely intense and tightly wound, but…" His eyes caught hers and his gaze was so strong and real that Kensi almost had to catch her breath. "…I love you."

It was what Kensi had so desperately wanted to hear, and in that moment she was literally walking on air.

Deeks' expression grew serious again as he took two steps towards Kensi, stopping directly in front of her. He wiped one stray tear off of her face, but before he could move in to kiss her, Kensi wrapped her arms up around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.

He grabbed her tightly, winding one arm around her back and the other behind her head, his grip firm and unwavering.

Kensi pulled her head out of his shoulder and pressed his lips to hers.

To Deeks, Kensi was just… perfection in his arms. She fit effortlessly there, as if it was all meant to be- which it was.

When they finally pulled themselves apart, Kensi rested her forehead against his, allowing Deeks to lean his head slightly forward so that his height matched hers, their noses only a whisper apart.

"I love you too."

"I know Fern," Deeks said with a crooked smile before pulling her back in for yet another kiss- this one quicker; not quite as timely as the last.

They flew to one another, and suddenly the invisible line that had separated them for years was gone. Vanished, in the blink of an eye.

Ever since they had become partners the line had just been there, daring both of them on a daily basis to take the plunge and cross it- and they finally took the dare.

She wanted more. More of him. More of this and them; she wanted to feel him there, beside her and know that they were together- permanently. Know that he wasn't going to disappear at a moments notice. Know that she hadn't just imagined it all, or conjured up every look, every smile, every comment in her mind.

She wasn't dreaming though- it was all _real_. Finally- they were real. They were a couple. And she suspected that they would remain that way for a very long time- hopefully the rest of their lives.

That fed into the one thing that had always terrified Kensi Marie Blye most about diving into a relationship: you either end up marrying that person, or you break up. It's as simple as that, but still a slightly terrifying thought.

The difference between Deeks and everyone else was that she could picture herself being with him for years on end. He wasn't a simple one night stand or a meaningless fling- he was a genuinely good guy who had been waiting around for her for a ridiculously long time, hoping that one day she might just open her eyes and see that he was right there, and had been all along.

Kensi had dreamed about Deeks saying those perfect three little words to her, and the shock that it had all actually come to life hadn't quite worn off yet.

She knew that Nell had been right all along; Kensi had just been too stubborn to actually listen to her best friend's observations. She did love him- she loved him with every aspect of her being.

Everyone always says that love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Jealously hurts.

People tend to get these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up the pain and makes you feel okay again.

Finally, for the first time in Kensi's life, she didn't feel broken. The pain from past events was still there, lurking in the distance- but it was pushed back far enough that it could no longer consume her. It wouldn't be shoved to the forefront of her mind on a daily basis, making everything else take a backseat to its persistence.

In its place was Deeks. His eyes, his smile, his warmth: it covered her and made everything feel good again, which was something that she hadn't experienced in years.

She was fine before her dad was killed, before Jack left her, and before her first partner was shot. But she hadn't been fine since she was fifteen, and each bad event that occurred after that was like another sliver of glass making its way into her ever-growing wound. Luckily for her sake, Deeks had come along just in time and put a band-aid on it.

_Good _was what Kensi had been so desperately searching for- and in that moment she had finally found it.

* * *

**Okay- am I the only one who can picture that first scene so vividly? I really wish the writers would do it- I can see ECO and Daniela Ruah acting it out_ so_ perfectly. *****sigh.***** Please leave your thoughts below! Thank youuuu! **


	7. Gunpowder and Sunshine

**I'm sorry it's been a few days since the last time that I updated- I've been out of town, and but this is a very long chapter, so I hope that makes up for it=) Please enjoy this chapter, and please review as always! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

Kensi awoke the next morning just about the same way that she had the day before, except this time she didn't try to pull away. Her back was to Deeks so she couldn't see his face- but Kensi still knew that he was there. She was pulled up close against him and could feel his breath- warm and steady against the back of her neck.

Slowly and carefully she rolled over to face him, trying her very best not to wake him up. Rather than being awoken though, Deeks just stirred in his sleep and readjusted so that he was lying on his back.

Kensi grinned at the newfound view she had of him and placed one hand on his chest, watching as the light that streamed in through the bedroom windows cast shadows on his face; shadows that seemed to dance in the early morning light.

It seemed crazy to Kensi how a person who was once a suspect during a case, then just a stranger, then a new partner, suddenly meant the whole world to her. Abruptly, it felt as if she just couldn't live without him.

Over the past four years, there hadn't been a single day that had gone by that Kensi hadn't thought about him, or a single night when she hadn't dreamt about him, nor was there a single moment in her life when she would ever stop loving him. No matter what, he would always be there. Even if she didn't see him- Deeks was there.

Her heart would always ache for Deeks, as he was the only guy for her. Even though there were times when Kensi had tried to push her feelings down and as far away as possible, it wasn't because she didn't love him. It was because she was terrified of the consequences of loving someone that much.

Scared of getting hurt, scared that he wouldn't feel the same way about her, and scared that loving him might ruin everything that they had already established, the only thing that held her together- their partnership.

But, in the end, Kensi knew that if she wrapped her heart up instead of making it vulnerable for love, she wouldn't be able to live an even remotely happy life. Loving him wasn't something that could be helped. And then finally- she had him there, next to her. He was tangible.

It was all that she had ever really needed. He was everything that was necessary for living, and Kensi knew that if she had Deeks- everything else would just fall into place.

It was going to be a good day- within the first five minutes of being awake she could already tell. They would be able to go out as a couple- and it wouldn't feel forced or awkward. It would be genuine, and she could hardly wait.

As if sensing her mounting excitement, Deeks' eyes slowly fluttered open and he squinted before a huge smile spread across his face at the sight in front of him.

"Hey Fern," he said in a breathy whisper, squinting as his eyes continued to adjust to the light.

"Hey," Kensi couldn't help but grin like an idiot at him- she was just happy. Really, really, ridiculously happy. It was as if all the other people she had been with in the past had been preparing her for eventually being with Deeks.

Maybe it was all meant to be- she'd had to meet a few wrong people before finding the right one, so that when she finally found the right one, she would know how to be grateful.

"I'm really happy Kens- this has been a long time coming."

She chuckled and Deeks leaned forward, kissing the top of her head- he loved the sound of her laugh.

"It must have been killing you Deeks- waiting so long to kiss me, and all. I can't believe it's taken you this long."

"You know, that is very true Fern- I've been holding myself back for years now," he said sarcastically, yawning midsentence.

Kensi laughed as she knew that he was only messing with her, but she still couldn't help but believe that some part of what he said was true- which it was.

Deeks had been in love with her for years- practically since the day he met her. She'd wandered into that MMA gym, immediately and unexpectedly taking his breath away.

Slowly, once they both became mutually aware of the fact that they were on the same team, Kensi and Deeks formed some type of strange bond. It might have been odd, but it was strong all the same.

They were friends- flirtatious friends. But soon, friendship wasn't enough for either of them, and they'd stuck it out for years as merely coworkers.

Luckily, for the sake of both of their sanity, Kensi and Deeks had moved on from the _just partners _stage in their relationship.

And it was about damn time.

* * *

"This is delicious- nice choice." Kensi said with a grin as she sat across from Deeks at a small bistro restaurant in town, about five minutes away from their house. According to Eric it was the neighborhood hang out, and it would be a great place to meet some of their neighbors.

"It was Eric's choice really. But I'll gladly take the credit."

They were both eating the exact same thing- a cobb salad, and it hadn't been a purposeful decision to turn up as twins. Kensi had actually blushed when they'd both ordered.

"Excuse me, so sorry to bother you."

A small brunette woman, who looked to be around 40 or 50, was standing in front of Kensi and Deeks at their table.

They both looked up from their food, slightly stunned at the sight before them. It was time to play the role of married couple all over again, and in that moment Kensi and Deeks both realized that they hadn't actually spoken to any of their neighbors since they had gotten there.

"Hello there!" She said, looking rather excited as she enthusiastically waved in their direction. "You're Nicole and John, right?"

Kensi and Deeks glanced at one another for a split second, before looking back up to her and nodding their heads.

"Great! Well we live just down the block, and wanted to say hello to our new neighbors! I'm Jenna and this is Bob."

She gestured to the man that they had failed to notice before, who was standing just slightly behind her. Bob seemed rather shy and sullen as he briefly waved in their direction. Jenna didn't pay her husband too much attention, and quickly turned back around to face Kensi and Deeks.

"So! Where are you two moving from?"

Deeks answered for Kensi who looked to be rather dumbfounded- she hadn't even been in the room when Eric had explained their entire background story, and after the rather intense conversation that had ensued, he'd forgotten to fill her in on all the little details.

"We're newlyweds," he said with a grin. "Both of us moved from separate apartments in Santa Monica… just got back from the honeymoon." Deeks reached across the table and grabbed Kensi's hand, causing her to blush immediately.

What was it about him that made her so susceptible to every single move he made, even the ones that were seemingly inanimate?

"Aww!" Jenna exclaimed, clasping her hands together. "That's so adorable! Did you hear that Bob? Newlyweds!"

The man just smiled and nodded- he didn't seem quite as excitable as she was.

"Okay, well I'll let you two get back to lunch- have a great day!"

"Thanks!" Kensi said as they turned both turned to go, speaking for the first time.

Once they were out of earshot, Kensi leaned forward and began to talk to Deeks immediately. "That was a little much, don't you think?"

He just furrowed his brow, not getting the point. "We're married."

"Married couples don't act like that."

"Yes they do!"

"Are you kidding? No, they don't. Happy, young couples act like that."

Deeks was silent for a moment, and then flashed a wide smile as the perfect words came to him. "Fine- then I was just playing us. An unmarried, young, happy couple."

Kensi blushed once more as she heard the words _couple _replay over and over again in her head. He had put a label on them, but she hadn't gotten the chance to even think it over yet. They were going to be together- that part seemed obvious. But how quickly everything was going to develop was another question.

Obviously Deeks wasn't really thinking twice about any of it, but Kensi couldn't help but do exactly that. It was what she did- she overthought things. Overanalyzed. Reheard every single word that they'd exchanged over the past few days play back in her head.

In that moment, she didn't want to question him about any of it, so Kensi didn't say a peep. She just changed the subject.

"But anyways… she's a bit chipper. Like, too much. Her husband seems really quiet though- it's weird."

"Well," Deeks leaned forward and paused for dramatic effect. "Opposites do tend to attract."

Kensi had been well prepared for that comment to come out of him, so she didn't blush that time.

Instead she just exhaled a deep breath, shrugged, leaned back in her chair and picked up her glass of iced tea.

"Apparently."

* * *

Kensi and Deeks sat on chairs with their surveillance equipment, looking out the bedroom windows to the house below.

"This feels really creepy Deeks," Kensi said, dropping the binoculars that she was holding up to her eyes back down to her lap. Spying on her new neighbors felt strange, even if it was the entire point of them being there.

"It only feels creepy because everything, except the whole us-being-married part, is so much more real now- if you catch my drift."

He winked and Kensi rolled her eyes, unsure of exactly how she was supposed to take that comment.

"I guess- but I mean, we are still sitting up here, staring in our neighbors windows."

"Most peoples neighbors aren't terrorists though, "Deeks said, tilting his head to one side. He had a knack for saying what already seemed to be glaringly obvious.

Kensi chuckled and picked her binoculars up again. "Touché."

She didn't see anything when she looked through them though- just an empty house without any lights on. Kensi let out a deep breath that she hadn't even realized she'd been holding, and couldn't help but let her mind wander to another place.

Her and Deeks had built up a wall of perfection around themselves, and hadn't even begun to address what was going to happen when they went back to their day-to-day work at OSP. What would Hetty say? Callen? Sam? It had been weighing heavily on her mind, and Kensi decided that it was time to voice her uncertainty.

"Hey Deeks?"

"Yeah," he said, not stopping to look at his partner- and thankfully so. She was visibly nervous, uncertain as to what Deeks was going to say when she brought up the huge elephant in the room.

"What are we going to do when we go back to OSP?"

Her words threw him slightly, and Deeks immediately stopped what he was doing, giving her his full attention. He was expecting that they'd need to have that unfortunate conversation at some point, but he didn't think that it would be so soon.

Still, he responded quickly. "It shouldn't be too much of a surprise: I mean, remember Callen and Tracy? Apparently they got pretty _close _when they worked together undercover."

He used emphasis on the word close, and Kensi rolled her eyes, failing to see the humor in it.

"But you're forgetting- they went undercover for a really long time. Much longer than just a week."

"We've been partners for years now babe- don't worry about it. We'll figure it all out. Promise."

Kensi couldn't help but grin at his use of the word babe- it was the first time Deeks had ever used a term of endearment about her that wasn't either undercover or as a poorly worded joke.

She liked _babe- _it was simple. Short. Cute. Sweet.

Princess, light of my life, sugar bear, and my sweet were phrases that Deeks had already used in the past on undercover assignments, and they were a bit too nauseating for Kensi's taste. She would call him babe, D, or Deeks- just to keep it simple.

"But still- what are we going to tell Hetty, Nell, Eric, Sam, Callen… and when?"

He shrugged- Deeks definitely didn't share the same concern as she did. "I don't know… we don't necessarily have to tell them."

"Yes we do!"

"No we don't."

"_Yes_, we do!" Kensi gawked at how idiotic Deeks was being about the situation. It was a _much _bigger deal than he was making it out to be.

"Hetty is like a ninja. That woman knows everything- she will figure it out, one way or another. You know that. And everyone else will catch on pretty quickly as well if we don't tell them- Sam and Callen will probably kill you if they don't find out straight from the source… it will look like we were trying to hide something."

"Yeah. I guess you're right," Deeks said, running one hand through his hair. "Either way- it's gonna be a way bigger deal to tell Sam and Callen than it will be to tell Hetty."

Kensi had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. "What do you mean?"

In a flash the memory came back to Deeks- Kensi had no idea about the gunpowder and sunshine note that he'd received from Hetty a few months prior.

"Well… um… Hetty told me that she is fine with us being together. Sort of. It was in her own _Hetty _way, so to speak."

Kensi felt like hitting him, but held back. Why the hell hadn't he told her?

She turned away from the window to face him fully, a newfound curiosity written plainly across her face.

"Spill. Now."

He sighed, and wordlessly lifted the leather wallet out of his back pocket. Slowly he unfolded it and pulled a slightly wrinkled sheet of paper out, handing it over to his partner.

She furrowed her brow and took it eagerly, but quickly understood what it all meant as she read _Sunshine and Gunpowder_ written clearly in Hetty's distinctive cursive script across the page.

Deeks watched her and began to speak as he pointed at the paper. "It was something I said a few months ago, and-"

Kensi put one hand up to silence him. "I know," she whispered as she continued to stare at the page.

Deeks was stunned. "You _know?"_

Finally Kensi tore her eyes away from the paper and handed it back to him. "Yeah- I mean, I heard you that night."

He didn't say a word, so she continued on. "Gunpowder and sunshine… that's quite a description. And two of your favorite things."

"But… I like, whispered that part." Deeks still didn't fully understand how Kensi had known all that. "How did you hear me?"

She suddenly looked rather sheepish. "Well, I stuck around outside for a minute after I left the boatshed. I guess I wanted you to stop me or something… which didn't end up happening."

Deeks had no clue what he was supposed to respond with, so he just muttered "sorry," and looked down to his lap.

Things were good between them- great actually, and Kensi didn't feel the need for there to be any hard feelings between them. Over the years, there had been many different opportunities for them to both admit their feelings- Kensi included, so she wasn't going to make him feel poorly for missed opportunities. Those events were in the past, and she had moved on.

"It doesn't matter now Deeks," she said, grabbing his hand. "But I am wondering- when did she give this to you?"

He dropped her hand and scratched his head. "She didn't give it to me- you did."

Kensi caught on to what he was hinting at pretty quickly. "After the whole Monica thing?"

Though it wasn't really too much of a question, Deeks nodded anyways.

"Wow," Kensi said, shaking her head. "So I guess you're right- it's just Callen and Sam that might freak out."

"Well, I don't know about that…"

"No," she responded immediately with a laugh. "They will. Trust me. You forget- I'm like their baby sister. They might just castrate you right there on the spot."

"You forget that I can be charming."

"I don't forget _anything_- I just don't see it."

"Okay- ouch."

"No hard feelings hubby- I guess you'll just have to show me."

* * *

"Nicole! I am _starving. _This legitimately isn't healthy," Deeks said breathlessly as he jogged yet another lap around the neighborhood with Kensi.

She didn't even slow down a hilt, but instead just looked up at him with glaring eyes. "Really? We ate probably four hours ago, and this is like, necessary. Eric needs to see if there is radioactive material coming from any of the houses, and this is the best way to do it."

Eric and Nell had called them upon Hetty's request, after she made the call that it was time to begin actually investigating, rather than just waiting for something to happen.

So, much to Deeks' chagrin, him and Kensi were running around the neighborhood, seeing if the packs that they wore, which looked as if they were ipods, could get a reading on any explosive materials.

He continued running, but didn't stop whining. "Yeah, I know that. But we've been running for like an hour, and I'm starting to get that weird crampy feeling on my side-"

"Deeks!" She yelled, grabbing his arm and forcing them both to a dead stop. He cleared his throat, glancing around for a moment, and Kensi immediately corrected herself. "I mean, um, John! Just relax, okay hubby?"

He rolled his eyes, but Kensi placed a hand on his shoulder and Deeks relaxed immediately.

"Let's just finish this lap, and then we can go get dinner. Deal?"

"Deal."

He agreed easily, flashed Kensi a crooked smile, and unexpectedly wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her in for a quick kiss.

It was all still very new to her- and his small little gesture threw Kensi off her game in a big way.

Since she was incredibly unsure of what to say or do, Kensi just smiled, nodded, and began running again, forcing her partner to play catch-up.

Kensi still hadn't reached a decision on how they were supposed to act around one another yet.

They had been together for a day. One single day- and Deeks was already acting as if they'd been dating for the past five years. Sure they were _supposed_ to be married, but Deeks wasn't the best actor, and his behavior certainly didn't seem fake to her. He loved her, and she loved him- so there was no real reason to take it slow. They'd already moved slow enough.

Love is such a strange emotion, and rarely do we see the nitty-gritty bits and pieces of how it functions. In their case though, you could see it. How their love changed and evolved. It certainly wasn't love at first sight- definitely not.

Somehow though, Kensi's feelings had changed so much over the years. It seemed unreal, how they could turn from tolerance, to interest, to infatuation, to lust, and then eventually to love.

And then there they were, together after years and years of dancing around the truth. Kensi could play shy and coy, but there was one thing she knew for certain- she was going to make it all last.


	8. Descent

******Once again, I thank you. You are all so amazing- I plan to give it back to you ten fold with this story. Or so I hope. =)**

******-Hazel**

* * *

Kensi yawned loudly and rolled over in bed, reaching her arms out for Deeks. She wiped her sleepy eyes in the early morning light to find that the bed was empty, with only a bit of warmth remaining on the sheets from where Deeks had laid.

Since he wasn't there, she just collapsed back down to the bed, too comfortable to get up. She didn't lay there for long though, as she heard her phone vibrate on the bedside table next to her: it was yet another message from Nell.

Deeks was nowhere to be found, so she assumed it was safe to look.

_Any new developments? _

The text was inconspicuous enough that if Deeks picked up her phone he wouldn't think anything of it- and would probably assume that it had some relation to the case.

Kensi knew better though, and she texted her friend back immediately.

_Yeah, lots. Too much really for now though- we'll talk soon. _

She clicked her phone off and tossed it into the sea of sheets next to her as Deeks wandered back into their bedroom, a full cup of coffee balanced tediously in each hand.

"Morning love," Deeks said with a stupid grin as he handed Kensi her coffee and sat down on the bed beside her.

Kensi yawned as she ran one hand through her messy morning hair. "So we're British now? You're gonna call me _love _from here on out?"

"It's a term of endearment."

"Yeah, you're right. Just not one that people from this country use."

Deeks shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. "It's cute. I'm gonna stick with it."

Secretly she adored it, but Deeks didn't need to know that.

"So… anything new from Nell?"

Kensi choked and sputtered on her coffee as she heard his comment. How had Deeks known that she had been talking to Nell?

"What are you talking about? We haven't been talking- why would we?" Kensi asked, way too defensive for her behavior to be considered normal.

"Kens- I am talking ahout the case. Did they call on anything regarding the case?" He replied, genuinely confused by her oddly wary demeanor.

"Oh. Right," Kensi said, tucking her head and blushing just a tad. "No- nothing regarding the case."

Deeks nodded and then was silent for a moment as he watched Kensi squirm. Before they had gotten together he wouldn't have asked the question that was looming in his mind, but since everything else was already laid out on the table, Deeks didn't want to leave even a single word unspoken.

"Are you sure you two haven't talked about anything else? Like… relationship stuff, perhaps?"

Kensi narrowed her eyes to slits and slapped him on the arm, nearly causing him to spill his full cup of coffee.

"Ow! That was the same arm you hit yesterday, and the day before that!"

"Well, you deserved it. Each time."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"This," he said, gesturing to the spot on his arm where she'd struck him, "is considered domestic abuse."

"No it's not. _This _is just the situation that many husbands find themselves in when they don't listen to their wives."

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"Stop trying to get something out of me."

They were both silent for a moment. Kensi stared at him with her eyebrows raised and Deeks just folded his arms, waiting for her to finally fess up to what was really going on.

"Ugh!" Kensi exclaimed, tossing her arms up in the air; his baby blue eyes got the best of her. It happened quite frequently.

"Fine. Yes- I have been talking to Nell. Are you happy now?"

"Yes, I am."

He still looked hungry for more information, so Kensi decided she'd call him out on it.

"Stop fishing, Deeks."

"My name is John."

"Right. Stop fishing, _John._"

"I believe I deserve to know what my wife is saying about me."

"That isn't always how it works."

"Now how would you know how it works? Have you maybe, I don't know, thought about it before?"

Kensi snorted loudly, and unconvincingly so, before giving her answer. "No I haven't."

He wasn't swayed.

"Okay- maybe once or twice. But either way, husbands don't need to know everything that their wives are saying about them."

"You should never keep a secret in a marriage. Or in a relationship, for that matter."

And then suddenly, they weren't playing the hypothetical _what-if_ game any more.

"I'm not keeping a secret, I'm just not telling you something. Those are two very different things."

"Same difference- I still don't know what is going on."

Kensi shrugged sarcastically. "And I still don't really care."

"Well you should."

They fell into total silence. Kensi desperately wanted to leave their current topic of discussion though, so she made a lame attempt to move on.

"Anyways-"

"Don't try to change the subject on me Blye."

"It's _Nicole, _remember?"

Deeks wore a cheeky grin as he shrugged at her comment. "I like Nikki better, but whatever."

She rolled her eyes, but he pressed on anyways. "So tell me- what's up with Nell?"

The man was never going to drop it, so Kensi figured it was best to just tell him everything- then he might stop nagging her.

"Nothing really… she just wanted to know what was going on with you."

"How much does she already know?"

Kensi stuck her bottom lip out and looked up to the ceiling, deep in thought. "A descent amount."

"How do you define _descent_?"

"Well… she probably knows more about our relationship than I do."

"Seriously? I didn't think you two were that close."

"She's my best friend."

"Well I'm glad to hear it." Deeks was being genuine and sincere- which was rare coming from him. He had never been too sure as to who Kensi's close friends were, as she never really seemed to have any- at least not when he hung around her.

In their line of work, it was rare that they actually formed any type of relationship with someone who they didn't work with, because usually those people had to be lied to. It was a challenge to get to know someone well when it turned out that everything the person thought they knew was just a lie.

It wasn't the most ideal of situations- but nevertheless; they had to deal with it. It just came with the job.

"Nell is just a great listener," she said, elaborating on her statement. "She is really smart, and can give some great advice."

By that point, Deeks was once again grinning like an idiot. "Let me guess- she was the one who finally convinced you that you were in love with me."

Kensi lifted her coffee cup up to her face and took a long sip, hoping that she'd be able to hide behind it and not give away the answer that already seemed glaringly obvious.

Deeks wasn't fooled though, and he lifted his coffee mug up in the air before taking another sip.

"Thank god for Nell. You can tell her I said that, by the way," Deeks said, gesturing towards Kensi's phone on the bed.

As if she was listening in, the screen illuminated and a flashing notification appeared on the screen, bright enough that both Kensi and Deeks could see it from where they sat: no surprise, the message was from Nell.

Deeks gently reached over and took Kensi's half drank cup of coffee from her hand as he stood up. "I'll go get us both a fresh cup, you call your friend. I bet she is just dying to hear all about me."

Kensi rolled her eyes, but didn't even bother to dispute his comment for a second. She snatched her cell phone from the bed beside her as soon as Deeks left the room, and decided that she'd actually call Nell rather than just continue to send her a long stream of rambling text messages.

The last thing she wanted was for Nell to get caught by Hetty, so she sent her a warning text ahead of time.

_Hey- I can talk now. Call me?_

The reply came in a flash.

_YES! Okay, let me step outside. I'll call you in just a sec._

Kensi wandered into the closet and slipped on some sweatpants, along with a gray hoodie that she'd messily discarded to the floor the night before. She figured it best to pick it up and save herself from raising Deeks' blood pressure. Rather quickly she had to rush back into her bedroom though, as within just one minute she heard her cell phone ringing from the other room.

"Hello?"

"Kensi!" Nell exclaimed, her excitement palpable, even over the phone. "I'm sitting in my car right now- I told Eric I left something down here. Not totally sure if he bought it, but I think he'll play along. Anyways- how is married life?" Nell was talking a mile a minute, and when it came time for Kensi to speak she slowed down the conversation, choosing her words carefully.

"Well- it's great."

Kensi could hear Nell smile through the phone. "Great?! What is that supposed to mean exactly? Any difference from last time?"

"Yeah- huge," Kensi said, letting out a deep breath. "I told him."

Nell began squealing enthusiastically, and Kensi actually had to hold the phone away from her ear as to not go deaf from the shrill noise.

"You did?! Ahhhh! What did he say? What did you say? Oh my gosh I was right- I was like _so _right!"

"Slow down Nell- he actually told me first."

"Spill. Now."

"Well… we were arguing first, and-"

"You argued first? Not surprising in the slightest, but go on."

Kensi sighed at her friends running commentary, but still did as she was told. "I just said that I was done waiting for something to happen between us, and so he jumped in there and told me that he loved me. It was pretty simple, really."

It hadn't been simple at all- actually _simple _would have been the polar opposite of what had happened that night. Kensi didn't want to explain everything though, so she just left it at that. Nell wasn't pleased with that simple of an answer though, and she continued to press for more information.

"Oh come on! Don't play with me here Blye. What did the man say?"

Kensi sat down on the edge of her bed as she recalled his words. "He said that he was still there. He said that he'd been waiting for me for years… and that no matter how many times he told himself that he shouldn't have feelings for me, he- he still did."

Even though she'd reheard the words replay play over and over again in her head, they still didn't seem real when she said them aloud. It was as if she had dreamt up the entire scenario- but luckily that wasn't actually true. It all seemed so surreal.

"I hate to say it- but I told you so! I knew all along. I believe I've missed my calling as a matchmaker."

"Sure, Nell. I'll give you that."

Kensi heard beeping through the line. "Crap, Eric is calling me. I'm sorry Kens- I've got to go, but we'll talk again soon. I'm really happy for you both- I mean it."

"I know Nell- and thank you. For everything."

"Of course."

Kensi clicked her phone off and dropped it back to the bed beside her. It was difficult to believe that she had just told someone at work about her and Deeks. Granted it was _Nell, _whom she desperately hoped could keep a secret, but it still made everything so much more official. So much more _real._

The next people to tell would be Sam and Callen, as Eric would most likely find out from Nell. Just like Kensi and Deeks, those two analysts kept very few secrets from one another.

Kensi contemplated how Callen and Sam would react. Would they be happy, or flip out and lunge at Deeks? Most likely it would be the latter. Over the years, the guys had become like older brothers to her, and she was sure that they would torment Deeks just as any extremely overprotective brother might.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Deeks strolled back into the room, carrying a steaming cup of coffee in each hand. "How was Nell?"

"Easily excitable- as usual."

"I expected nothing less. I am a catch, and I'm glad that your best friend approves."

Kensi felt like toying with Deeks, so she put on her best acting face and gave it a try. "_Approves? _Who ever said that she approved of our relationship? She was outraged! Fuming! Enraged!"

Deeks dropped his coffee cup to rest on his knee, a look of confusion clearly written across his face. "Seriously?"

Kensi laughed loudly once again at how gullible Deeks could be sometimes. "No! God you're easy."

"That's not funny."

"I'm still laughing, so…"

Deeks chuckled and rolled his eyes, happy to see Kensi acting so easy going for once.

"We've both kept our promises."

Kensi took another sip of her coffee and furrowed her brow at his comment, which seemed rather random. "And what were those?"

"I mean, you've definitely lightened up, and I've been trying to take things more seriously."

Kensi was silent momentarily as she studied Deeks' expression, which could be described exactly as he had put it himself: serious. He was obviously still the same silly, jokey guy that she'd fallen in love with; he'd just grown up a bit.

"I definitely appreciate it Deeks."

"John."

"Whatever," she smiled and giggled at the same correction he'd kept making over and over again.

"Come on," Deeks said, standing up and grabbing Kensi's hand, pulling her up with him. "Let's get some fresh air. Go for another run."

"I'm up for it."

Kensi sat her mug down on the bedside table and dropped Deeks' hand, jogging over towards their shared closet.

"I'll race ya- _John_."

* * *

**Do you guys enjoy scenes written in the same way as the first one? I really love writing those types of scenes, ones where there is mainly just dialogue back and forth and not much else, because I think they seem very true to the characters and very accurate to the show- but just let me know! **

**Also, I just wanted to add that this story is not going to have much case detail at all really- it is just mainly going to be a densi story. I hope you're all okay with that-I just haven't felt like writing case details recently. Anyways, please review! I'll respond to every single one that I receive today- promise! =)**


	9. Uncovered

**Just a warning- there is a rather descent amount of cursing later on in this chapter, so you've been advised! Please review as always. =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Water?" Deeks asked breathlessly as he reentered the house with Kensi, far more exhausted than she was.

"Sure- you alright though?" Kensi inquired with a laugh as she examined her partner, who was drenched in sweat and buckled forward at the waist.

"You know, when someone says, 'hey, it's 90 degrees outside, let's maybe take it slow,' you could consider listening. Normal women aren't buff like you- it's crazy."

"Just man up, D. I feel fine- and I'm a woman, so deal."

"Yeah, but you're not a normal woman. You're like, wonderwoman. It's different with you. You've killed people before, you're a better shot than just about anyone I know, you've tazed me, you've beat Sam in boxing matches, you hit me repeatedly on a daily basis, which I know is only done because you love me, but still-" he stood up straight and slowly walked over to his partner, grabbing the water bottle from her hand. "-_you_ aren't a normal woman."

Kensi took a swig and let her hair out of the ponytail. "Is that supposed to be some weird type of compliment or something?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what it is," Deeks said as he swooped in and wound one arm around Kensi's waist, pulling her up close to him.

"Ewww, you're all sweaty!" Kensi exclaimed, looking somewhat disgusted as his damp skin was pressed up against hers. Still she failed to pull away, and Deeks took note.

"I don't care- you're sweaty too," he said simply, planting a kiss on her lips. That one kiss quickly became rather long and drawn out as Kensi hopped up into Deeks' arms and let him to carry her towards the living room, still kissing him copiously as they went.

Their makeout session was cut short though, as Kensi heard her phone ringing loudly in the kitchen.

She dropped out of his arms immediately, reluctantly removing her lips from his.

"Ugh- just leave it for voicemail babe!"

Kensi smiled, shook her head and kissed his lips one last time before jogging into the kitchen and snatching her phone off the counter.

"It's Eric," Kensi said as she looked up from the screen, immediately putting it on speaker as Deeks dropped his pouty face and swiftly walked over to stand by her side.

"Hey Eric- what's up?"

"Nell and I need to talk to you guys. Can you go on video chat?"

Kensi was confused and slightly alarmed as well, but she obeyed. "Yeah sure. We'll log on right now."

The line immediately went dead.

Kensi and Deeks shot each other a puzzled look. "What the hell was all that about?"

Deeks simply shrugged before walking back into the living room and logging on to the video call.

Eric was already calling their computer, and Deeks clicked the link to pick up the video feed. Eric was sitting side by side with Nell up in ops, who shot Kensi a quick grin as she noted how close in proximity her and Deeks were on the couch.

Kensi ignored her though, and turned her attention to Eric, who looked rather annoyed himself. "Hey- what's going on?"

"Well.. it looks as if your neighbors have relocated."

"What?!" Kensi and Deeks both exclaimed in unison, shocked and slightly annoyed as well. "How the hell did that happen? And when?"

"We've been running heat signature readers over the house, and there just isn't anything there. That's why nothing has popped on your surveillance tapes- they must have snuck out at some point in the night. They're in the wind."

"So where the hell do we go from here?" Kensi asked, her eyes wandering away from Eric and peering around the house that she'd been living in for the past week- she wasn't ready to leave. Not yet anyways. It was so… domestic. And she loved it.

"You guys can pack up and go- there isn't anything else that you can do from there. The red team is going to track them to their next location and pick up the case for us."

"So all this was pointless- that's basically what you're saying," Kensi said as she shook her head and crossed her arms. Wasting time was not something that Kensi was even mildly alright with.

"Not a _complete _waste of time," Deeks added with raised eyebrows as he looked over to his partner. Kensi immediately widened her eyes and elbowed him in the side, just as inconspicuously as she could.

"Wait- what's going on?"

A small little smile formed on Eric's face as his eyes shot back and forth between Kensi and Deeks. Nell didn't even mutter a single word; she remained completely silent through the whole ordeal.

"Nothing Eric! Nothing's going on! We'll talk to you guys soon."

In one fluid motion Kensi leaned forward and shut off their video feed, before Eric could mutter even one more incriminating word to them.

"What the hell was that?" Kensi asked, visibly exasperated as she swatted Deeks on the arm once more.

"Geez! Again, with the arm thing!"

Kensi rolled her eyes and stood up, making her way into the kitchen.

"You weren't thinking! Eric doesn't know about us, and we should definitely tell Sam and Callen before we tell him."

Deeks didn't seem to share her concern. "Why is that?"

"Is that really even a question? Sam and Callen would eat him_ alive_ if he even mildly hinted at the fact that he knew something they didn't."

He finally understood what she meant, as it was very true: Eric certainly didn't stand up well to pressure.

"Touché."

Kensi seemed pleased that he'd finally sided with her. "Since we both agree- we should just tell them then."

"When?"

Kensi shrugged. "Tonight, I guess. We'll pack up our bags and head to OSP."

Deeks made a ridiculous pouty face, suddenly looking very glum. "Poor Jenna and Bob. They're going to be so confused as to where their favorite new neighbors went."

"We were never going to live here permanently Deeks, you know that."

"I know," he said, trailing off. "It was just… nice, I guess. I like it here."

Kensi couldn't help but agree. "I like it here too. But it's not our house. Never was."

She wasn't going to add the other thought that was on her mind- that spending the one perfect little week there, with him, had shown her how perfect their life could be together. Not that she'd had too much doubt before, but by then it was all so very tangible.

They had neighbors, they went on jogs together- they randomly made out in their living room. And it was great.

"Come on Deeks," Kensi said, grabbing her partner's hand and intertwining her fingers with his. "Let's go pack up."

"Can I pack for you?" Deeks asked eagerly- like a kid on Christmas morning.

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Why do you care so much how my clothes are folded?"

"Because when you do it, it's just sort of painful to watch. So… please?"

"Whatever. You can pack for me. Outerwear only though."

Deeks's face fell slightly at her qualm, but he still looked excited. "Fine, fine."

They were back in their bedroom by that point, so Kensi dropped his hand and made her way to stand in front of him.

"Game plan. You pack, I'll tidy everything up downstairs, and we can be out of here in two hours."

Deeks couldn't help but look a tad bit hurt. "What's the rush?"

"We can drive to my place and then your place to drop our bags off, then go to OSP to talk with Sam and Callen."

"Oh, right."

Deeks didn't seem too excited about that part.

"It'll be fine," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "Let's shower and then we can get ready to go."

Deeks raised his eyebrows at her peculiar phrasing. "Together?"

Kensi smirked, turned around and began walking towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

"Don't push it!"

* * *

"Look- it is going to be fine," Kensi said in a lame attempt to reassure Deeks as they sat in her car, which was parked out in front of OSP. They had been waiting outside for a solid ten minutes, as over and over again Kensi had attempted to convince Deeks that everything was going to be alright.

Deeks didn't look so convinced. "Are you sure about that?"

Kensi chuckled and patted him on the chest. "Yes. It's gonna be fine. No matter what they say."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her words weren't really making him feel any better.

"Nothing, really. Look-" She put one hand on his shoulder. "-we need to talk to them. Let's just get it over with." Without another word Kensi swung open her car door and stepped out, leaving Deeks to play catch up."

"That's reassuring," he whispered sarcastically, hopping out of the car to follow his partner inside.

They walked into the room together with a safe distance between themselves, immediately noting how empty the place was. Kensi peered into the bullpen and found only Callen at his desk- the rest of the chairs were empty.

"Hey G!"

Callen shot his head up, surprised to see them. "Hey!"

"Where's the rest of the team?" Deeks asked as he walked over to stand beside Kensi.

"Hetty let everyone go home early after the red team took the case. I'm the only one left- just finishing up some paperwork."

"No Sam?" Kensi asked as innocently as possible, trying her very best not to allude to the fact that she had something rather important to talk to them about.

"Nope- he left around, twenty minutes ago," Callen said, checking his watch.

Kensi glanced up to Deeks, silently asking him if they should go ahead and tell Callen. He just shrugged, leaving it up to her. They were already there- it made sense to go ahead and talk to G.

"Okay- what's going on?" Callen asked, easily sensing that something was up.

Kensi exhaled as if she was going to speak, but Deeks went ahead and took the lead.

"We just wanted to talk to you about something, and we aren't quite sure what your reaction is going to be, but we still need to let you know, and-"

"Just spit it out already!" Callen exclaimed, interrupting Deeks midsentence.

"Fine. We're sort of… together now," Deeks said, reaching down and grabbing Kensi's hand.

Kensi could already sense the animosity emulating from Callen the minute the words exited his mouth, and she held Deeks' hand just a bit tighter in hers.

"You're _together_?" Callen asked crossly through a clenched jaw.

There was a short-lived silence and Kensi closed her eyes, looking down to the ground. She'd been hoping and praying that Callen's reaction wouldn't be like that- but it was turning out to be the exact opposite of what she had been searching for.

"You heard me," Deeks spat out bitterly.

"What were you guys thinking?" Callen asked, looking to the ceiling and shaking his head.

Kensi was quickly becoming enraged with Callen's smug behavior, which she made very clear as she eyed Callen and clenched her fists, squeezing them tightly until her knuckles turned white.

"This wasn't some stupid one-night-stand Callen!" She yelled, dropping Deeks' hand and taking one step forward towards her team leader. "I can't believe you're reacting like this! You are way out of line here."

He was growing more and more upset by the moment. "You can't believe _me?" _Callen exclaimed, pointing his finger past Kensi to Deeks. "I've watched this guy screw practically everything that moved for the past four years- and you think I'm out of line?"

Kensi wasn't sure how to respond to Callen's comment, so she spun around to examine her partner's condition, and for the first time in years Deeks seemed genuinely defeated. It was as if Callen had struck some cord with him, one that no one had tampered with for years.

Deeks wasn't flying forward, throwing a punch towards Callen's jaw. No, instead he seemed stoic. Somber. Sad.

More than anything else he just looked hurt, and it was quickly becoming too much for Kensi to handle. Callen was making him feel inferior, as if Deeks didn't belong. She couldn't decide whether she wanted to slug him or shoot him- either one would have done the trick, but for both of their sakes she held herself back.

"Watch your mouth G- I mean it. You insult him, you're insulting me," she said, her wrath becoming quite apparent as she shot him an icy glare. "Also, fuck you! Where the hell do you think that you get off talking about him like that?"

Callen took a step back and evaluated the situation before him. His expression was cold and serious as he lowered his voice. "I just don't think you two realize what it is that you're doing. I've seen teams ruined over much, much less."

Kensi's heart sunk down to her stomach as she reheard his words replay over and over again in her head. The dynamic of their team was the only thing that held everything together in Kensi's life. Life just wouldn't be the same if Deeks wasn't her partner anymore.

Kensi had taken an oath to serve and protect her country, and nothing would surpass that oath. Nothing at all.

NCIS had been her life, her escape, her family, her purpose, and her home. It was the place where Kensi had finally found her voice. It was where she had learned to be a part of a family. But most importantly- it was the place where she'd finally found someone who loved her unconditionally, no matter how crazy life became.

If she lost that- than Kensi didn't know what she would do.

Kensi shook her head as tears flooded into her eyes. They weren't sad tears necessarily, just the kind of tears that came when you were so furious that you cried. So angry that her entire body had quivered with intense anger and bitterness, overcome by Callen's antagonistic yet seemingly ostentatious tone.

How could he be so thoughtless and cruel? By that point she could barely breathe anymore. Suddenly the glare of the computer screens was too bright; the silence that flowed throughout the room far too quiet. She needed some air, or Kensi was certain that she'd have some sort of a panic attack.

With flushed cheeks and shallow breaths, she cleared her throat and searched for the few words that she knew she could say without her voice breaking.

"I've got to go."

She spun around and left the room, unsure of exactly where she was going but sure that she needed to be as far away from her G. Callen as possible.

"Kensi? Kens wait!" Deeks called out after her, but she was already long gone, trudging down the stairs to armory. He thought about following her, but decided that it was a far better idea to give Kensi her space and face off with Callen instead.

He turned his attention back to G, angrily narrowing his eyes. Nobody messed with Kensi like that and got away with it. He didn't care who did it- it didn't matter to him. It wasn't okay, and he wouldn't put up with it.

"Do you even see what the hell you just did? You made her cry! And what's worse, you don't give a fuck!"

Callen wasn't hearing a single word he said. "Kensi's tough- she'll be fine. But you on the other hand- we need to talk."

Deeks couldn't believe how gutsy Callen was being. "Really? Last time I checked, I can be with whomever I like. We were telling you out of courtesy, not because we want your approval. You don't have control over my life."

"No, but I have control over this team! Kensi is a special agent, and one who is very good at her job. She needs to be on top of her game- not distracted on a daily basis because she works with her boyfriend."

Deeks exhaled and clenched his fists, trying desperately hard to calm himself down. "I'm not just the plucky sidekick G. I'm a cop. I know what's at stake here just as much as she does."

Callen didn't seem convinced. "Yeah, maybe. But how do you know that you're right for her? How do you know that this isn't all going to blow up in your face? And when it does, which it will, you're going to have a huge mess to clean up."

Deeks nearly flung across the room at him, but figured that an outburst of that nature wouldn't do him any favors. So instead, Deeks found a way to regain his composure, and just ended up saying everything that he was thinking.

"Look- you may have some perception of me that you gained in the past: but I just want to tell you that you're wrong. Very, very wrong. I may have seemed like a playboy when you first met me, but I've changed. I've grown up. I've learned that being in love with someone like her is far more valuable than anything I might ever find with someone else. So, my response to what you said earlier is that no- I would never hurt Kensi. Not in a million years, and certainly not intentionally. Also, I think that you are an ass for even mildly suggesting something like that. For _years _now I have been trying my very best to just let her go and move on, because I knew that something like this was bound to happen. I knew that you wouldn't understand- that you'd think I was just going to mess with her and then break up with her one day. But you are so far off.

"Kensi deserves the world. She deserves to finally be with someone who truly loves her. Someone who wants her to be happy more than anything else in the world. Someone who spends every waking moment trying to do everything right by her. Someone who would rather die himself than see her in pain. She doesn't deserve to be with anyone other than me. No one loves her as much as I do… No one." Deeks took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "But if you still don't believe me after everything that I just said… than by all means, send me back to the LAPD and find Kensi a new partner."

Callen took a step back and stared at Deeks, eyes wide.

"Fine then," Callen said, pointing one finger towards the door that Kensi had exited from just a moment prior. "Go get your girl."


	10. Something Permanent

**Thanks so much for all of the kind reviews- you guys are amazing! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review as always! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"_Fine then," Callen said, pointing one finger towards the door that Kensi had exited from just a moment prior. "Go get your girl."_

Deeks nodded and left without another word to Callen: he'd talk to him again later. Probably on another day.

He jogged down the stairs to armory, slowing down to a walk as he strolled in and saw Kensi leaned over the table, cheeks damp with tears as she cleaned her gun.

"Kensi?"

She only glanced up for a split second, barely even meeting his eye line before looking back down to the job at hand.

"Are you alright?"

"No," Kensi muttered, furiously wiping down the barrel of her gun. She wasn't alright- nothing was alright. Suddenly, their perfect little relationship, which had lasted for a mere three days, was quickly turning to rubble.

All along- _that_ was what Kensi had wanted to avoid. Getting into some crazy spat with her team leader, and watching everything just fall apart in front of her.

It seemed normal to her at that point, as if every single one of her relationships falling apart just couldn't be helped, like it was some kind of curse- men just couldn't put up with her for long periods of time.

Obviously that thought wasn't true in the slightest, but Kensi still perceived it that way. Deeks would be sent back to the LAPD, find some girl who loved surfing and fish tacos just as much as he did, and forget about her entirely.

Her abandonment issues were quickly bubbling to the surface, and in that moment Kensi believed whole-heartedly that Deeks was going to leave her.

Deeks scratched the back of his head and took one step towards her. "I just-"

"Deeks _please_," Kensi said, begging with him and allowing more tears to flow. "I don't want to talk about it."

He didn't buy it. "You say that, but your eyes just won't shut up."

Kensi dropped the towel and looked up at her partner, whose gaze was fierce and kind.

"Fine Deeks," Kensi said, shrugging and biting her bottom lip before she spoke. "What am I supposed to say then? That I am fine with what just happened? That what Callen just said didn't bug me and momentarily drive me to the brink of insanity? Because I seriously feel like I am losing it right now!"

"No, Kensi- please take a breath and listen to me," Deeks said calmly, putting one hand out towards her."Say whatever you want to say. Just know that I'm not gonna leave you because our team leader was temporarily being an asshole. I love you. None of that has changed."

More tears began to pool in her eyes. Kensi wanted to ask, 'Really?' but she knew that would sound oddly desperate.

"I love you too," was her replacement response. Every single one of her limbs quivered as Kensi stood up from her seat and folded her arms, staring down to her feet. "And you're right- he was being a complete and utter prick."

Deeks chuckled quietly. "Yeah- he has a tendency of doing that. But I put him in his place."

Kensi's expression became weary as her head shot up. "What does that mean?"

"I told him how much I loved you- and that if he didn't believe me, than he could send me back to the LAPD." Deeks' demeanor was cool, calm, and collected- fairly different from Kensi's.

"That first part was fine, but Jesus, Deeks! You're making it way too easy for him to just fire you!" Kensi exclaimed, exasperated. "Hell, you are practically telling him to do it!"

Deeks didn't seem alarmed by what she said and just shrugged. "He _did _believe me though. That's my point."

Kensi furrowed her brow and asked what seemed to be the next logical question."Well- what did he say?"

"He said 'go get your girl,'" Deeks said with a sly grin.

She was certain that was lying to her. I mean- he had to be, right?

"He did _not _say that," Kensi said, gawking slightly and trying to keep her voice down in case Callen was lingering nearby.

"Nope. He sure did. So I promise you- it's going to be fine."

"I'm not so sure."

"But I am."

"Are you really though, Deeks?"

She didn't understand how he wasn't panicking as much as she was.

"Kensi-" Deeks said, closing the gap between them in a split second and gently grabbing her shoulders. "It. Is. Going. To. Be. Fine. Alright?"

She gave him a halfhearted smile. "Are you sure that you're not just saying that to try and make me feel better?"

He exhaled and looked up to the ceiling, as if in some way the paneled walls would give him a clue as to what the perfect thing to say was. Somehow though, maybe out of sheer luck, the words came to him.

"Over the years, I've learned to understand a very important lesson in life. What lasts, lasts- what doesn't, doesn't. Time solves most things. And what time can't solve, you have to solve yourself. Time didn't make me love you any less, so I had to figure all that out for myself."

Deeks reached one arm out and brushed a stray piece of hair behind Kensi's ear. "Callen will come around. Just give him some time to adjust."

"But what if he doesn't? And what if Sam reacts the same way? What do we do then?"

The tears were still lingering in Kensi's eyes, dangerously close to spilling over her lids.

"No matter what, we'll figure it out." Deeks said, shrugging as he dropped a kiss to Kensi's forehead. "We always do."

She nodded and Deeks motioned towards the table. "Grab your gun, Annie Oakley. Let's get out of here."

Kensi sniffled and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her jersey sweatshirt, doing exactly as she was told.

Once her gun was placed safely back in it's holster, Deeks grabbed Kensi's hand tightly and lead her out of the room, back up the stairs without another word.

Sadly they had to walk by Callen in order to exit the building, as he was still there. The man had moved from the center of the bullpen to sit on the edge of his desk, head in his hands waiting for them to come back up. As he heard footsteps approaching him, Callen's eyes danced around the empty room before finally landing on Kensi and Deeks.

He noted Kensi's damp cheeks and gloomy expression, as well as her hand- which was being held firmly by Deeks.

Callen jumped off of his desk and quickly made his way over to the two of them, stopping in front of them and blocking their path.

"Look, I'm sorry for-"

"No, no," Deeks said quickly, cutting him off midsentence. "Not tonight."

Callen's eyes shot down to look at Kensi, who just nodded voicelessly in agreement.

"Fine," he said quietly, silently attempting to apologize with his eyes. Kensi definitely got the memo, but she didn't try to acknowledge it.

Deeks nodded to Callen who stepped aside, allowing Kensi and Deeks to exit the building without another word.

* * *

"That didn't go as well as you said it would," Deeks said as he and Kensi wandered through the front door of her apartment.

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't promise anything- I just said I _hoped_ it would go differently," Kensi responded as she sunk into her couch and patted the cushion next to her, allowing Deeks to come and sit by her side. "Still though- I can't help but feel like this is all my fault."

"There is no way that this is your fault."

"I guess… but it still feels like it. That part doesn't matter though Deeks- I just want you to know that I don't agree with anything he said back there."

"Well I'd hope not- since you love me, ya know. That should count for something."

"I'm being serious here."

"So am I! But I'm still not sure if I believe you."

"What are you talking about?"

Deeks sat forward in his seat. "Seriously Kensi? Just admit that a part of you, even though it may be a small part, agrees with what Callen said tonight."

"No- you're wrong," Kensi said, not swayed at all by his tone of voice.

"Please, just tell me the truth! A part of you believes that he's right. That I am going to screw this up."

Kensi rolled her eyes and grabbed Deeks shoulder, steadying him so he'd stop fidgeting on the couch.

"Look at me- I don't agree with him. I know that may be hard for you to believe, but it's true. Now, if you would have asked me that same question a week or so ago, my answer might have been a bit different. But you've shown me that I don't need to doubt you. I know you're here for the long haul."

Deeks immediately relaxed. "Really?"

She couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, really. But seriously though- where has your huge ego disappeared to? I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course. But honestly!"

Deeks just wasn't acting like himself. Rarely did the man show any hint of self-detestation, but tonight it was popping up all over the place.

"I don't know Kensi... I think I left it back at OSP."

She shook her head. "That may be true, but he was _way_ out of line to say those things about you."

"Yeah- and I think he knows it now," Deeks said, smirking and shaking his head in an attempt to deter the conversation from being focused on him. "Do you realize that you said 'fuck you' to our team leader? Hopefully that won't go on our performance reviews…"

Kensi moaned and sunk a bit further down into her couch, burying her head in her hands. "I really said that, didn't I?"

Deeks just nodded in agreement.

"It was warranted though… right?" Kensi asked it not really as a question, but rather as a rhetorical way to make herself feel better.

"Yeah, it was."

Deeks didn't want to think back to the comment that Callen had made about him. Telling Deeks what he really thought in solace would have been one thing, but in front of Kensi it was a completely different story. The whole scenario had been totally and utterly mortifying.

"I hate this feeling," Deeks added, shaking his head. "I don't even know what it is, yet I still hate it."

"It's rage," Kensi said simply. She had felt it earlier- sadly _in front _of Callen, rather than behind closed doors.

"No, it's not rage. Not yet anyways."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I would kill to feel rage though. It would trump the humiliation and I might actually be able to regain some tiny part of my ego, which was moderately crushed back there."

Deeks shook his head and wiped his eyes, wondering where the hell his head was in that moment. He just felt like a mess.

"Hey," Kensi said, moving her hand down from his shoulder to rest on his knee. She could sense where Deeks' mind was going, and was quick to intervene. "It was just something that he said in the heat of the moment. I wouldn't think twice about it."

"How can I _not _think twice about it Kensi?" Deeks asked, running one hand through his hair. "I mean, is that really what he thinks about me? All these years, I actually thought that we got pretty along well. I knew that Sam always had a bit of a problem with me but with Callen… I don't know, I just thought things were different."

"Deeks-" Kensi leaned forward, trying her very best to get through to him. "-I don't care what he says. He's just overprotective. It's his job, or at least he thinks it is. Maybe it's because he doesn't actually have any siblings? I'm not entirely sure. But he's done it for years. Don't take it personally."

Deeks sat up straight and massaged his temples. "I'm sorry Kensi, but saying 'that guy screws everything that moves!' is a pretty personal statement."

Kensi sighed and let her hands fall back to her lap with a quiet thud. She couldn't really dispute his statement.

"Yeah- okay, so maybe it was personal. But he doesn't know the real you. He only knows the _you _that you let him see. Every time we've gone out in the past, he has seen you flirt with basically every good looking woman out there. And… and he has seen how much it's hurt me, Deeks."

He looked up to meet her gaze, and noted how solemn her expression had suddenly become.

"So you have to understand- he has only ever seen you hurt me. He's only ever seen how upset I get when I see you with another woman, alright? _That_ is where he was coming from. We are like a family- and you are a part of it. A weird, strange, hugely dysfunctional family, but we still watch out for one another. And the last thing he wants is to see me get hurt again._ That _is why Callen is so protective of me."

"Right," Deeks said sheepishly. "Well… I'm sorry. About all of it."

Kensi chuckled and scooted even closer to him on the couch. "It's fine. I' m over it. I just don't think he is yet. Like you said at OSP- just give him some time. He'll come around. Just don't do it again. The flirting thing, I mean."

Deeks raised his eyebrows. "You know that I wouldn't. Not now."

"Yeah, I know. But he doesn't."

They sat in silence for a moment as Kensi held Deeks' stare. He eventually broke though, and had to ask the question that was weighing heavily on his mind.

"What is it that you want?"

Kensi looked quite taken aback by his question, so Deeks elaborated before she got the wrong idea.

"I just want to know, for the future. I don't want to screw this up before we even begin it. I love you, and you love me, but our conversations have never gone past that point. You've never really told me what it is that you're looking for, and if I get it wrong- Callen _will_ murder me. I have no doubt."

She pondered his question for a moment as a million thoughts flooded to the forefront of her mind.

"Do you really want to know what I want, Deeks?

He nodded eagerly.

"Alright then… I'll tell you." Kensi swallowed hard and took a deep breath, holding his gaze the entire time that she spoke.

"'I want to be somebody's favorite hiding place, the place where they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, very ounce of solitude, every nervous word, and be absolutely certain that I will keep it safe. I want something permanent, something that can't be taken away at a moments notice.

"For once in my life I just want someone who will stay through the good times and the bad, not just one or the other. I want to be _wanted. _I don't want someone to just stay with me because they feel bad leaving. It doesn't have to be a perfect relationship- I don't care if we argue or bicker sometimes, because that is what makes it _real_. Arguments are what let you know that a relationship is working. So if you really want to know what I want… than you should know that I am looking for someone who is patient enough to see things through to the end. I don't think that is too much to ask for."

Her cheeks were damp by that point, her heart rate spiking. That conversation was the one that Deeks had been anticipating; the one that had been years in the making. It was probably of equal importance to the talk they'd had when they first said that they loved each other, and far more important than the talk they'd had back at OSP.

Kensi was telling him what she really wanted- what she'd been looking for all along. And finally, he understood.

Deeks wound one arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side, leaning back on the couch.

"I can be that. _We _can be that, Kensi. I promise," Deeks whispered into her hair.

For what seemed like the first time in her life, Kensi was one hundred percent certain of something. Rarely did that ever occur- a situation where Kensi knew without a shadow of doubt that Deeks was telling the truth. That he meant what he said.

She nodded and grinned, glancing down to her lap. "I know."

"Promise?" Deeks asked, hoping to get conformation on what he'd just heard.

"Yes Deeks," Kensi said, coming to rest her head on his chest. "I promise."


	11. Mutual Understanding

**Aaaaaaaand we return to the humor in this chapter. Please review as always- I am going to respond to all the ones that I receive today! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

The next day was back-to-work day, and Kensi had no clue what she was supposed to do, or how she was supposed to act. Particularly around Callen.

Technically speaking they hadn't _stopped _working when they went undercover- but it sure as hell hadn't felt like work. Kensi wished every day could be as good as those that she'd just experienced: getting paid generous amounts of money to stay in beautiful little house with her partner, who also happened to be her boyfriend. Sleeping in past 8:30 on a daily basis, going on jogs around the neighborhood, and cooking dinner for him at night. _  
_

There was one part of the undercover mission that had surpassed all others though. It was that with each passing day, Kensi fell more and more in love with her partner. It just couldn't be helped.

She laid awake for probably around an hour that morning, not bothering to disturb Deeks who was sleeping soundly next to her. He didn't seem to share her same fears when it came to the feelings of her team members, so it seemed rather daft to bother him with her own uncertainties.

But on the other hand, whether Deeks wanted to admit it or not, he was involved- and possibly more so than herself. The guys would never been annoyed at Kensi; that rarely ever occurred. They would always blame Deeks, or get annoyed at Deeks when it came to any faults in their relationship. As if it hadn't been obvious before: Callen was out for Deeks' blood yesterday- not Kensi's.

As the clock continued to tick by, Kensi could hardly even stand the silence anymore. After around another hour passed she'd had enough of laying there and worrying by herself. She rolled over towards Deeks, leaning her chest partially on his and resting her chin on her arms.

"Hey Deeks? Deeeeeeks," Kensi whispered, gently shaking his shoulder.

His eyes slowly fluttered awake and then widened quickly at the sight in front of him. "I'm awake, I'm awake… are you alright?"

His concern was adorable. Highly unnecessary, but still adorable.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kensi said, sounding rather amused by his frantic tone of voice. "I just think we need to talk to Callen- _before _work."

Deeks sleepily wiped his eyes and yawned, glancing around the room. "What time is it?"

"Doesn't matter," Kensi said, catching the clock's screen in her peripheral vision: it was only 6:00 AM, but he didn't need to know that.

"Babe- do you really think that seeing Callen before work is necessary?"

"Yes, I do. What's the other option? Allow him to strangle you in front of Hetty's desk?"

"I had something else in mind, like maybe, I don't know, talking to him _after_ the sun has risen?"

"Deeks-"

"Kensi-"

They both stopped speaking. Kensi grinned and immediately shot Deeks a slightly pouty face.

"Please Deeks? I am trying to defend _your _honor here. I just don't want things to be insanely awkward at work. This is for your own good," she reminded him as she sat up in bed, pulling herself off of him and raising her knees up to meet her chin.

Deeks wasn't hearing her though- instead he was still trying very hard to change the subject. "You know Kensi, if my predictions are correct, I think Sam might kill us before we even have the chance to do _anything_ today- like work."

Kensi crinkled her nose and giggled, cocking her head to one side. "Nah- not us. Just you babe."

"Ha-ha, very funny. You know what, I bet Callen already told him about us! Just my luck. Maybe he's already here!"

Deeks sat up in bed, craning his neck to peer into Kensi's living room. "Hey Sam! You here dude? Please don't kill me!"

Kensi simply glared in his direction. "Really Deeks? It's too early for this. And you're gonna wake up my neighbors."

"I think the sound of Sam killing me would do the trick."

She rolled her eyes and shot him another fairly annoyed expression.

"Ugh! I don't want to deal with a grumpy Callen. He is even easier to piss off than usual. Just let me call him Deeks! Please? " Kensi asked, sticking out her bottom lip. It worked in her favor, apparently.

Deeks shook his head and moaned. "Fine! You win- give G a call. I'm gonna kill him for making me get out of bed this early though."

"Yes! Thank youuuuu!" Kensi exclaimed, leaning forward and planting a quick kiss on his lips before rolling over to get out of bed. "I promise you won't regret this."

He chuckled. "Oh, I promise you that I will. By the way, tell that asshole he is buying me a latte. And a bagel."

* * *

Callen had taken Deeks' requests very literally. When Kensi and Deeks arrived at the coffee shop around twenty minutes later, they found Callen sitting at a table inside, three cups coffee and one bagel spread out in front of him.

He awkwardly nodded at them as they walked up to the table, solely acknowledging their presence and nothing more.

"Hey," Kensi said as she slipped into a seat and Deeks did the same beside her. And man, was it _uncomfortable__._

"Thanks for calling," Callen said as he stared at the coffee cup in front of him, failing to make eye contact with either one of his team members.

"Yeah… I just kind of thought that we should all talk before we go back to work."

He sighed and nodded in agreement. "I know- and I'm sorry that I flipped out yesterday."

"Yeah... you really flipped out."

Deeks chimed in. "But seriously though dude."

"Like _I just lost my freaking marbles _flipping out," Kensi said, completing his sentence.

Callen nodded and shifted in his chair, clearly uncomfortable with the situation at hand. "I know. And I'm sorry. I'm just… really defensive of Kensi- sometimes to a fault."

Deeks cleared his throat. "Sometimes?"

Kensi elbowed him in the side. "We get it. And we've talked about it. So… we're cool?"

"Yeah, but Deeks," Callen began, looking up to his face for the first time. "I said some things that weren't true- and I'm sorry. I was out of line."

Deeks smiled and shrugged, picking up his coffee cup. "You got me breakfast, I'll take it as a peace offering."

Kensi checked her watch before taking a sip of her coffee. "We should probably get to work."

Callen nodded in agreement, but he wasn't quite done talking quite yet. "So- do you guys want to tell Sam, or should I?"

Kensi and Deeks immediately whipped their heads around to face one another. On one hand it would be better to say it themselves, to Sam, in person. But at the same time- the other alternative was the _way _more convenient choice.

"You tell him," Kensi and Deeks both said in unison. Their hope was that if Callen told Sam, and he got mad, G might actually be able to calm him down. He would certainly be more affective than Deeks- and that was a fact.

Callen stood up from the table, taking his cup of coffee with him. "If that's the case, then I'm gonna get to work a little early, and talk to Sam. Maybe… stick around here for a little bit."

"Right- thank you."

Kensi said the last part thoughtfully- she meant it. He was saving them from what she was sure would have been a very, very uncomfortable situation.

Callen slipped out the side door, and suddenly it was just Kensi and Deeks, alone at last.

"That went well," Deeks said with a grin, taking a sip of his latte.

"Don't be sarcastic," Kensi replied, shooting her partner a death glare.

"I wasn't! Pinky promise!" Deeks actually stuck his finger out to shake hers, and though she rolled her eyes, Kensi still complied.

"It was still weird though…" Deeks added in a hushed tone as he took another sip of his coffee.

"Yeah- but that was expected. I'm just glad it's over."

"Hate to break the news to you- but it's not over yet."

"What are you talking about?"

"We still don't know how Sam is going to react. And what about Hetty? Or Eric? They don't know either"

She cringed slightly. "Ohhhh. Yeah. You're right."

Only very rarely did Deeks hear those words, and he nearly choked on his coffee. "I'm what now?"

"Shut it Deeks."

He chuckled and took one more sip, until his cup ran dry.

"Fine- _meanie_. I think I am going to eat my bagel now."

* * *

"This is gonna be weird, and you know it," Deeks whispered into Kensi's ear as they strolled into OSP together.

She just waved Deeks off as if he was some annoying fly that had been buzzing around her face all day. "It will be fine, just don't _make _it weird."

Deeks was baffled. "How would I-"

"Shhhh!"

They had made their way into the bullpen, and Callen was already there- without Sam. No sign of Hetty either.

"Hey- where's Sam?" Kensi asked wearily, quickly sensing that something wasn't quite right.

Callen leaned back in his chair, cowering faintly as he spoke. "We talked, and then he… um… went for a walk."

Kensi and Deeks could tell immediately by the tone of his voice that it wasn't looking good for them.

"Shit," Deeks cursed quietly under his breath, and ran one hand through his hair in an attempt to prevent himself from breaking something.

By that point, Kensi wasn't even nervous anymore like Deeks was- she was just plain angry. Neither Sam nor Callen had any right to be annoyed that she was with Deeks. It was her relationship- not theirs.

"How bad?" She asked simply, biting her tongue before she said something more.

Callen just tilted his head from shoulder to shoulder, entirely unsure of how to properly answer Kensi's question.

"That depends on how you'd define _bad…"_

Deeks' eyes grew wide, and Kensi would have sworn that she detected a hint of fear in his baby blues. Getting into a fight with Sam would _not_ be fun.

As if on cue, a loud voice rang out through the office, causing both Kensi and Deeks to jump.

"Deeks!"

"This ought to be fun," Deeks muttered sarcastically under his breath, flinching as he heard the door slam shut behind Sam.

"We need to talk. Now."

He spoke staunchly and coldly, strolling into OSP with a sense of purpose.

Unlike the last time, Kensi was fully prepared for a standoff. So instead of just standing by and watching the awfulness unfold, she was quick to intervene before Deeks could even get a single word in.

"Nope. _We _need to talk," Kensi said, walking forward and grabbing Sam's arm before he came within even a mere five feet of Deeks.

"Let's go."

And there she was- badass Kensi Blye to the rescue. To say that Deeks was grateful would have been to underestimate the feeling dramatically.

Without another word she left the bullpen and led Sam back outside, stopping only once the door was completely shut.

Sam could already tell that he'd pissed her off, so he swiftly backtracked and tried to explain himself.

"Look, Kensi I just-"

She wasn't having any of it. "No! Let me talk first, then you can have your turn."

He didn't want to aggravate the situation anymore than he already had, so Sam just nodded and folded his arms, listening.

"Look- I am sick and tired of everyone treating me like I'm a child. I am a fully grown adult woman, and I can make my own decisions. Whether you think they are right or not isn't _any_ of your concern whatsoever, it's mine. It's my life- not yours and not Callen's. I get to decide who is right for me; nobody else."

Sam opened his mouth to speak but Kensi put one finger up in the air, silencing him yet again.

"I am done with the way you and Callen try to babysit me on a daily basis. I'm not even remotely sure of what Callen told you, as I'm not entirely sure of anything at the moment, but yes- Deeks and I kissed. And we both admitted that we love each other. I am with him now, so learn to like it, and learn to like it _quickly_. I love him- and I'll say it to you, or anybody else for that matter. I love him more than I have ever loved _anyone, _and if that doesn't convince that I'm being serious right now, than I don't know what will. I love him, Sam. I really do."

Kensi took a breath and folded her arms, slightly embarrassed by the number of times that she'd just said _I love him. _She didn't let it show though, but instead evaluated Sam's expression- which actually seemed rather thoughtful.

"More than Jack?"

Kensi had never been asked that question before, but somehow she still knew the answer immediately.

"Yes. I love him more than I loved Jack," she replied, swallowing hard. "Jack was cold and distant… and he didn't_ try_. When things got tough, he ran away. Deeks is so different, he- he doesn't run. He stays by my side, and he does it no matter how difficult the circumstances get. Callen was practically _hurling_ insults at him yesterday, and even after I walked away, he still didn't leave. He defended himself to Callen, making it very clear to him how much he really does love me- and that is more than I could ever say for Jack."

Sam nodded, slightly dumbfounded. He had never seen Kensi talk about anyone the way that she talked about Deeks.

"I get it. And I'm sorry. He's a good guy… we're just protective of you. I've seen how much his _womanizer_ attitude has hurt you over the years, and I just don't want to see you sad again."

"Sam!" She exclaimed the single word with a loud laugh, shaking her head. "Don't you get it? It hurt me because I was in love with him the whole time!"

"Right," Sam said with a chuckle, wondering how he'd never put the pieces together before. It had been rather obvious that they had feelings for one another; Sam and Callen just never thought it would go anywhere.

"Okay- I'll cut him some slack."

"Good. Just get to know the _real _him before you assume anything more, okay?"

"Yeah- you're right. I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Kensi looked satisfied, so she pointed behind herself towards the door. "We should probably get back to work before they send out a search party for us."

Sam nodded and gave her a stiff side hug, as he still wasn't positive that Kensi didn't want to punch him for overreacting about her and Deeks' new relationship.

As they walked back inside, Deeks was the first person that Kensi locked eyes with. He was pacing back and forth across the spacious room, anxiously awaiting their return.

When he saw Kensi, Deeks immediately began walking towards them, his blood obviously boiling judging by the sober look in his eyes. Kensi noted his expression and smiled, hoping Deeks would get the message before he said anything too incriminating.

He furrowed his brow and relaxed slightly, still apprehensive as he reached down and grabbed Kensi's hand.

"We're good- right Sam?" Kensi asked, eyebrows raised as she turned around to face him.

He smiled and nodded, looking straight at Deeks. "We're good."

Deeks loosened his grip slightly on Kensi's hand and exhaled, praying that it was safe to breathe normally.

Kensi patted Deeks on the shoulder and released his hand before anyone else could see their public display of affection, and walked away towards her desk. Sam lingered behind for a moment though, motioning for Deeks to lean in.

"Just know that if you hurt her, I will kill you and leave no forensic evidence. Got it?"

Deeks nodded, his smile only faltering for a second. Sam could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be.

"Got it."

That was really all Deeks could say. He knew that one day he would convince them that he really was what was best for Kensi. How far or near in the future that day was- he had no clue. But eventually, it would happen.

_Eventually._


	12. The Tell

**Thank you all again for the kind reviews! In this chapter there is some more humor, lots of Densi, and a dash of Neric. Hope you all enjoy! :) **

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Oh my god! Ahhhhhhhh! You are with Deeks! I told you, I told you, I told youuuu!"

Nell stood jumping up and down in Kensi's entryway, and was having the exact same reaction that she'd _been _having for the past ten minutes- ever since she walked in the door.

Deeks had needed to go back to his own home after work, and though she'd hated to see him leave without her, some much needed girl time was in order with Nell.

"You done yet?" Kensi asked sarcastically, only showing a mild amount of amusement for Nell's antics.

She stopped jumping for one second and looked down to her friend who was seated on the couch.

"Just one more time- ahhhhhhh! Okay, I'm done. For now."

Nell exhaled a shaky breath and sunk down into the couch beside Kensi. "You are with Deeks- I called it! I _so _called it. Oh my gosh. I can't believe this is finally happening! I mean, I can, because I knew it would all along, but still-"

"Nell! Geez- just take a breath, okay?"

She did as she was told and leaned back on the couch, shaking her head in utter disbelief.

"I'm sorry- this is just crazy. I mean, we all knew it would happen eventually, but still. _Crazy._"

Kensi grinned and nodded, wanting to tell her friend an extra little piece of information but unsure of how she would react. So instead she just phrased it as a question.

"Do you want to know what else is crazy?"

Nell nodded eagerly and her mouth dropped open slightly as she evaluated Kensi's expression.

"Oh. My. God. Did he buy you a ring?"

Kensi rolled her eyes and shook her head. She could feel her heart rate increase at the mere mention of that possibility. "No- he did not buy me a ring, Nell! We've been dating for a week!"

"That's a lie and you know it."

"What are you talking about? We got together during the undercover op! I called you, remember?"

"Exactly! You got together during the undercover op. You've been _dating _for the past four years."

"Three and a half."

"Same thing."

Kensi could hardly believe how difficult Nell was being, so she decided it would be better to just go ahead and tell her, rather than allowing her friend to continue guessing.

"He didn't buy me a ring… Deeks is meeting my mom tomorrow."

Nell's lower jaw practically dropped to the floor. "No freaking way."

"Yup."

"Say that you aren't messing with me right now."

Kensi wasn't sure what kind of response that was. "Um… No, I'm not messing with you right now."

"Well good, because that is _amazing! _You are going to make me start screaming all over again!"

"Please god no," Kensi whispered as she took another sip of beer. She had a feeling that alcohol would be the only thing that might make Nell's squeals slightly less piercing to her eardrums.

"So what have you told your mom about him?"

Kensi cringed slightly. "Well… nothing yet."

"_Nothing?"_

"Not _nothing, _I guess. She just thinks she's having dinner with my partner and I. She doesn't know we are _together-together."_

"That's still a pretty big step. Deeks is meeting your _mom, _Kensi."

"Well… I mean, they've already met once before."

"Are you talking about the whole Peter Claremont- thing?"

She just nodded. Kensi really didn't want to be reminded of those awful few days, so she assumed she'd leave it at that.

"Well- I am sure it will be great. It is _Deeks _after all."

Kensi looked to be slightly insulted by her comment. "And what do you mean by that?"

Nell just rolled her eyes, clearly exasperated. "Stop taking everything so literally! I just meant that he's an extremely charming guy who has been one of your closest friends for the past four years... or three and a half, as you keep reminding me."

"He can be charming, sure. But he can say some pretty idiotic things as well."

Nell chuckled. "Yeah- I know. But truthfully, your mom is just going to be happy that you've found someone who loves you like he does. He is the guy that every girl's mom wants to meet."

Kensi knitted her eyebrows and took another sip of beer. "Should I be concerned about you trying to whisk him away for yourself or something?"

Nell couldn't have made a more disgusted face if she tried. "Ew! No, no, no- please erase that mental image from my brain immediately."

"I'll try not to take offense to that," Kensi muttered under her breath.

"Oh shut it, will you? He's like my big brother, so it's just creepy."

"And lemme guess," Kensi began, shooting her friend a knowing look. "You have your heart set on someone else?"

Nell put up a shocked face for about five seconds, because that was really as long as it could last; Kensi was far more talented at suppressing her feelings than Nell was.

After she finally dropped the _what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about _expression, Nell simply nodded and glanced back to down the beer bottle in her hand, fiddling with the label.

"Eric," she stated simply- there was nothing more that needed to be said.

Kensi exhaled and glanced around the room for a moment, as she tried to decide what the right thing to say was.

"It feels strange that I of all people want to give you some advice, but I'm going to do it anyways," Kensi said as she sat her beer down on the coffee table and turned so she was fully facing Nell, feet tucked up underneath her on the couch.

"Don't do what Deeks and I did. Just don't. If you sit around for years on end waiting for something to happen- it won't. Trust me. I waited and waited, and in the end it wasn't time that finally did the trick, it was _us. _Time solved nothing. So just tell the guy how you feel already, okay? Because if you keep waiting, one day when you two are finally together, years down the road, you'll look back and wonder why the hell it took you both so long to finally get your shit together."

There was a short-lived silence as Nell thoughtfully contemplated her friend's words.

"Wow… I never knew someone could be so poetic and still curse at the same time."

"What can I say? I have a gift."

Nell grinned only fleetingly, before allowing her expression to grow serious again. "I should tell him, shouldn't I?"

Kensi shrugged and took another swig of beer. "That is for you to decide, not me. But if you really want my opinion- then I say just go for it."

She nodded in agreement, but a part of her was still largely unsure. "But what if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"Nell," Kensi said, leaning forward and placing one hand on her friend's knee. "That question is the same one that kept me at arms length for years. But the thing is, if you don't even give the relationship a chance, than you'll never know how incredible it might be."

Nell nodded and shook her head, still taken aback by Kensi's newfound insight.

"I love this new effect Deeks has on you. It's amazing."

Kensi just shrugged, an obvious twinkle in her eyes as she spoke about her partner.

"_He's _amazing. I guess I'm just finally getting around to noticing it."

* * *

"Is this really a good idea Kensi?" Deeks asked anxiously as he sat in Kensi's car, which was parked in front of her mother's house. He was meeting her _mom. _That had to count for something, right?

Rarely did Deeks ever become nervous about dinners like that one, but that night was so different. If she didn't approve, than he had a feeling it would put a definite damper on both of their moods.

Suddenly his shirt felt far too tight and his hair looked messy. Deeks didn't enjoy being uneasy like that- it was unbecoming.

"I'm sorry babe, but this just feels eerily similar to the time when we told Callen."

She tried to be reassuring rather than sassy, as she could tell he was near hyperventilation. "This isn't going to be anything like that. It's gonna be fine.

"You sure about that? It feels like I am wearing a noose," Deeks said, looking to the rearview mirror and awkwardly tugging at his tee shirt.

Okay- now he was just being ridiculous. "You can't back out now Deeks. We're already here."

The more nervous he got, the more cynical he became as well. "There is this cool new thing that cars have now- it's called _reverse. _You should try it out some time."

She wasn't in the mood for his constant stream of sarcastic remarks. "Seriously? You've already met her once before."

"That's true- but I was just your partner back then. This is different."

"You're still _you, _and I'm still _me. _It's really not that different."

Deeks just sighed. "Hopefully you've talked me up enough that she already likes me."

Kensi cowered slightly in her seat, avoiding eye contact with her partner. "She doesn't know we're together, Deeks."

"What? How does she not know that?!"

"I haven't talked to her in a few weeks, that's all."

"I thought you talked to her back at the undercover house, remember? You left a video call with Eric and I to go and call her."

Kensi was quickly becoming rather shamefaced- admitting that she lied in the past was not a fun thing to do. "…that was Nell."

"Right. Of course it was," Deeks said, chuckling and shaking his head.

"I just needed to talk to her... but on the other hand, you already know all of this about Nell- I have no clue why it comes as a surprise every time you hear it. Like I've said before, she knows a lot."

Deeks wasn't buying it. "Honestly though- what can she really know that I don't already know."

Kensi shrugged. "She's just super smart."

"Ouch. So am I."

"You know what I mean… Her IQ is off the charts Deeks- she is really good at dissecting stuff and helping me to open up."

"She sounds like a therapist."

She practically snorted at his comment. "Nell is _so _not my therapist."

Deeks began listing off facts on his fingers, proving his point. "You talk to her about your feelings, you open up to her far more than you ever do with me, and she was the first person you talked to about our relationship. What else does that sound like?"

"A best friend," Kensi said with a chuckle. "I had to talk to _someone _about it Deeks! Who else was I going to tell?"

"I don't know, maybe, _me?"_

He was beginning to tread on soft ground. "You didn't say anything to me for a long time either Deeks. It wasn't just a one way street."

Deeks' expression grew to be rather somber as he unfolded his arms, leaning his right elbow against the car window. "Yeah I know but still… years went by, Kensi. _Years. _You loved me for years and you never said a word._"_

"I could be saying the exact same thing to you babe. I'm just not quite as blunt," Kensi replied, patting him on the arm.

Deeks laughed quietly, but still remained quite stoic in his expression. He wanted to talk about it- getting everything out there in the open was important, if not necessary for their relationship, as unspoken words and trepidation had nearly killed it in the past.

So rather than taking the out that Kensi had given herself and quickly moving to a different topic, she just sighed and ran one hand through her hair, turning so she was facing Deeks completely. "Look- haven't you loved me for years as well?"

Deeks just nodded, as he saw where she was going by the tone in her voice.

"Than you should understand more than anyone that acknowledging those feelings is much easier said than done," Kensi said, a serious gaze showing through her mismatched brown eyes. "If I had known that _this_ would happen, than I would have told you how I felt a long time ago. But I didn't. And you didn't either. We are together now, so I think we should just face the facts and move on from it. Because in some ways… it's a good thing we waited so long to be together."

Deeks expression quickly changed, his face morphing into a mixture of utter shock and disbelief as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"How is it a good thing? It just feels like lost time to me."

Kensi smiled sweetly and leaned back against the headrest. "It's a good thing, because the longer you hide your feelings for someone, the more you fall for them. Everything just feels so much more_ important_ now. Like we just can't screw it up. It's partially terrifying and partially thrilling... I still haven't decided which feeling overrides the other."

Deeks could hardly even put together a sentence as he stared at her, mouth agape in wonder. Everything she said was so spot on; it all made sense. It all felt right. Her words were the ones that he'd been searching for, but had yet to find.

"I think you're right, Fern."

Kensi reached across the car's median, grabbing his hand instinctively. "You don't have to worry about anything. She'll love you."

He wanted more than anything to kiss her in that moment, but stifled himself and spoke instead. "You really think so?"

"I do. I love you- and she's way easier to impress than I am."

"I am not sure whether to be insulted or complimented."

"That was the goal. Now come on," she said, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the car door. "My mom is going to wonder why we've been parked in front of her house for the past fifteen minutes. Let's go."

* * *

**I hope you are all as excited as I am for Deeks meeting Kensi's mom! Please review as always:) **


	13. Mother Knows Best

**As I ****was writing this chapter, all I could think was, 'omg- everyone is going to flip.'**

**And I mean that in the very best way possible. Please review as always! :)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Just take a breath, alright?" Kensi suggested as she rang the doorbell of her mother's house. Deeks just needed to _calm down. _The amount of time that he had spent fidgeting with his hair before they got out of the car was absolutely ridiculous.

"Fine," Deeks muttered, letting out a shaky breath as he moved to stand directly by Kensi's side.

The door was opened in a matter of seconds- Kensi was sure that her mom had seen them parked out front for so long, but she still failed to mention it.

"Hello!" Julia exclaimed with an enthusiastic grin as she opened the door.

"Hey mom," Kensi said as she leaned forward and wrapped her up in a tight hug.

Deeks just shifted from foot to foot as they embraced, awkwardly glancing around as he awaited an introduction.

"Mom- you remember my partner, right?"

"Of course I do! Great to see you again Mr. Deeks," Julia said with a smile as she pulled him into a tight hug as well.

"Great to see you too Ms. Feldman."

She waved her hand in the air, not allowing any room for formalities. "Call me Julia. And please- come in!"

They both nodded and crossed the threshold into her home, keeping a relatively innocent distance between themselves. Deeks had nearly reached down and grabbed Kensi's hand upon instinct, but quickly remembered that Julia had yet to hear that they were a couple- so he decided he would hold off on that until later.

"You're home is beautiful," Deeks said as he took in his surroundings. He wasn't just being polite- it was entirely true. The last time he'd been there was during a fight between his partner and Peter Claremont, so he had never really taken a good look around.

Slowly they wandered into the family room, which was adjacent to the kitchen. It was a bright and open space, decorated with pictures and various mementos.

"Ah! Baby Kensi!" Deeks exclaimed as his eyes caught on one of the many photos of a young Kensi Blye, which spanned through the toddler years all the way until high school- stopping at what looked to be Kensi's freshman year, when her father was killed and she ran away from home.

There were some new ones there to fill the time gap though- two or three in particular that looked to be very recent.

"Yes! Kensi through the years…" Julia said enthusiastically as she wrapped one arm around her daughter's shoulder, whose cheeks turned pink- but Deeks was far too enamored by the photos to notice.

"You were so cute," Deeks cooed with a chuckle, running one hand through his hair as images of adorable little ninja assassins flooded to the forefront of his mind, in what he hoped would be his and Kensi's fairly immediate future.

"_Were?" _She asked, crossing her arms as she pointed out his rather suspicious wording.

He rolled his eyes. "Were _and _still are," he said with a grin, completely sincere in his response.

Kensi's eyes widened, and she shot daggers at him, silently asking him to please shut his mouth.

They just needed to get through a few minutes without any flirty remarks- _then _they could tell Julia. That was all, but for some reason Deeks still seemed to find it exceedingly difficult.

Julia appeared to take the comment rather harmlessly, but Kensi was still quick to change the subject.

"It smells amazing! What's for dinner?"

"Chicken marsala," Julia answered happily, buzzing around in front of them to enter the kitchen.

The minute she turned her back to them Deeks immediately lowered his voice, turning his head to whisper-yell at to his partner. "We should just tell her now!"

"Not now!"

"Yes _now!"_

"Either one of you want a glass of wine?" Julia asked, spinning around in the kitchen with a bottle in her hand, not seeming to notice that she'd interrupted their conversation.

"Yes!"

They both answered immediately and in unison, trying to seem as unsuspicious as possible- they certainly weren't succeeding.

Kensi smiled at Deeks and spun around to face her mother, walking swiftly into the kitchen. He had won- there was really no point in waiting any longer to tell her that they were more than just partners.

"Hey mom?" Kensi asked, sliding into a bar stool and motioning for Deeks to do the same beside her.

"So… we have something to tell you," she said, exhaling as she nervously glanced over to Deeks, who swallowed hard.

Julia didn't even bother to look up from the skillet that she was slaving over before responding. "Let me guess- Deeks isn't just your partner, he's your boyfriend. That's why you wanted to have dinner with me tonight."

"How did you-"

"The way he looks at you," she said simply, meeting her daughter's gaze and shrugging as she spoke. "It's the easiest way to tell if someone is in love -you can't lie with your eyes."

Kensi's mouth was left slightly ajar as her cheeks turned a bright shade of crimson- her mom definitely had a tendency of being blunt.

Since Kensi had no words, Deeks spoke for her. "Yeah- you got that pretty spot on, actually."

"I figured," she said with a wink as she handed both Kensi and Deeks a glass of wine.

"Sorry if I embarrassed you honey," Julia added as she continued to stir something in a saucepan over the stove.

Kensi chuckled and shook her head, taking a sip of wine. "It's all good. Just please don't bring out the baby books."

* * *

They ate dinner rather quickly, but only because Kensi was absolutely starving and ate like someone was going to take the food away from her at any given moment- so Deeks and Julia had rushed to keep up.

As they walked into the family room to take a seat after the meal, Julia asked a question that seemed fairly trivial, but had been on her mind all evening.

"I'm sorry- what did you say your full name was again? I realized that I don't even know what your first name is! My daughter rudely only calls you by your last name," Julia said, playfully scolding Kensi, who just rolled her eyes. "She didn't get it from me- I guess it's a military thing."

"No worries," Deeks replied, shooting a cheeky grin to Kensi, who was glaring at her mom. "My full name is Martin Deeks, but everyone calls me Marty. Mostly just _Deeks _though."

Julia's eyes grew wide and she came quite close to spitting her wine out across the table.

"_Martin Deeks?_ " She asked in between coughs as she choked and sputtered, quickly maneuvering to set her glass down on the coffee table.

Deeks was definitely taken aback by her response. "Um… yeah?"

"Mom! What's going on?" Kensi exclaimed, partially intrigued and partially embarrassed by her mother's behavior, which made little or no sense whatsoever.

"Well, um…" Julia said, still coughing as she regained her speech. "Your first crush in grade school was this adorable little blond boy-"

"I think I've either had too much wine or not enough," Kensi replied, furrowing her brow and cutting her mom off midsentence. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, like I was saying- when you were really little, in the first grade I believe, there was this boy in school that you were just enamored with for some reason. I recall his name being Martin Deeks…"

Julia trailed off as she saw both Kensi and Deeks' expressions, which were of completely different natures.

Deeks' jaw dropped and his mouth ran dry, but he still held an insanely adorable crooked smile behind it. Kensi on the other hand was simply floored, her facial expression a mixture of shock and growing confusion.

"No way," Kensi just whispered, ignoring Deeks beside her on the couch. "Are you serious?"

Julia looked rather dumbfounded herself as she just shrugged and turned her attention to Deeks. "I always thought you looked familiar, but I guess I'd just never put it all together before- it was such a long time ago."

Deeks' smile continued to grow wider and wider with each passing second. "So, if what you say is true, then-"

Julia completed his sentence for him. "Yes, I'm fairly certain you were Kensi's first crush."

Kensi just shook her head in utter disbelief, somewhat embarrassed and still trying to put all the pieces together.

"How did we not know that we went to grade school together though?" Kensi asked, turning her attention to her partner.

He thought the answer already seemed evident. "Did you ever ask me?"

Kensi thought for a moment. "No. Did you ever ask me?"

He shrugged and shook his head, shooting her his very best crooked smile. "No… I didn't."

Kensi could hardly even think straight at that point. "Well I went to…"

"Springfield Elementary school."

Both Kensi and Deeks said the last part of her sentence in unison, hardly believing the words as they exited their mouths.

"But Deeks is older than me..."

"It was a small school," Julia offered- she had an answer for everything. "They had lots of combined classes."

"I'll be right back," she suddenly said to nobody in particular as she frantically stood up from her seat and speed walked out of the room, leaving Kensi and Deeks to their own devices.

There was a short-lived silence as Kensi just stared at the table in front of her, mouth still ajar.

"So… we went to _school_ together," Deeks said finally, his voice implying how insane the statement really was. "Why didn't I see you later though? For high school, I mean? I _definitely_ think I would remember you."

Kensi shook her head, slowly coming back to reality. "I changed schools in the second grade when we had to move into military housing… so no, we wouldn't have ever gone to high school together."

"This is crazy," she said, stating what already seemed glaringly obvious.

"Yeah… I figured that part out a minute ago when your mom said that I was your first crush."

Kensi looked up and thought about making some sly comeback- but when she saw Deeks' face, she just couldn't. His expression was thoughtful- and unexpectedly so. She couldn't really explain it; he just looked mystified as he stared into her mismatched brown eyes, his gaze unwavering.

The fact that they had met each other when they were young- and then met again so many years later, was simply baffling to him. The universe worked in mysterious ways, and it seemed as if somehow, the younger versions of Kensi and Deeks had known that they were meant to be together from the start- long before they ever figured it out for themselves.

Their little moment was quickly interrupted though, as Kensi's mom jogged back into the room, waving a picture in her hand.

"I knew this was still around here somewhere," she said as she dropped a photo down on the coffee table in front of Kensi and Deeks.

"Holy shit."

That was all Deeks could whisper as he studied the photograph, which showed two kids who strongly resembled Kensi and Deeks, standing side by side in what looked to be the back of a classroom.

"That's us," Deeks murmured as he shook his head. "And I was your first crush."

Kensi couldn't help but smile as she stared down at the younger version of herself, who was standing next to the boy that would one day become her partner- in more ways than one. "That's _definitely_ us."

"I still remember when I took that picture," Julia said, her eyes glazing over slightly as she thought back to the fond memory. "It was Kensi's birthday, and I brought in doughnuts for the entire class."

"Oh- so even back then she had a junk food addiction," Deeks said with a sly smile as he peeled his eyes away from the photo.

"Hey!" Kensi exclaimed jokingly, elbowing him lightly in the side. "I, just like every other little kid, enjoyed sweets on my birthday."

"And twinkies," her mom added with a grin. "Kensi _loved _twinkies."

"Oh reaaaally?" Deeks asked, turning to smile at his partner.

"Yup!" Kensi's mom replied, not getting the joke. "She used to make me drive like, twenty minutes outside of town to a gas station that actually carried the bulk packages-"

Deeks looked to be quite amused. Kensi on the other hand- not so much.

"Okay mom. I think that's enough."

"Oh… sorry."

Deeks chuckled as he picked up the photo and continued to study it, marveling at the insanity of it all. He studied the little girl in the photo, noting her mismatched brown eyes, sweet smile, brown wavy hair and sun kissed skin- easily recognizing it as Kensi. She looked different, sure, but it was still Kensi.

His thoughts were interrupted though as that same little girl that he'd stood beside in the photo leaned her head on his shoulder, so she could look at the picture alongside him. "Your hair was so much more blonde then Deeks... but other than that, you look _exactly_ the same now as you did back then. It's crazy."

He peered down to the photo and nodded in slight agreement. "I think puberty helped me out some, but yeah- pretty much the same guy."

Kensi giggled and sat forward slightly, allowing Deeks to wind one arm around her shoulders as she took the photo and handed it back to Julia.

"So yeah- that's definitely us."

Julia shook her head and stared at the little boy in the photo, before looking back up to Deeks.

"You know Marty- I always wondered what happened to you after Kensi left that school," she said thoughtfully, tapping Deeks' face in the photo. "Your parents never came around the school, even for plays and performances, and you were such a sweet little boy... I just wondered, you know?"

Kensi stiffened immediately at the mere mention of Deeks' parents. He squeezed her side though, letting her know that it was alright. "They didn't come around a lot. They weren't really... good people. And that's putting it nicely."

_"Weren't?_" She asked suspiciously, acknowledging his specific word choice.

He scratched the back of his head before replying. "Yeah... they're both gone now. My dad was an alcoholic- abusive as well. Hated my guts."

Julia asked the same question that Kensi had so many years prior, when they'd had a similar discussion. "How do you know that he hated you?"

"Because the last thing he said to me was, 'Marty I hate you.' And he tried to shoot me after that, so I think he meant it," Deeks said, grabbing his glass of wine off the coffee table. He desperately needed alcohol to survive that conversation.

"I'm sorry," Julia said simply, as she was at a loss for words.

"No worries."

Deeks grinned and tried to find the silver lining- but nothing came to him.

Luckily for his sake, Julia was quick to intervene. "Despite all of that- I think you turned out just fine."

"I'd like to think so."

There was a momentary silence as Julia continued to look down at the photo.

"Mom? Do you mind if I take that with me?" She asked, gesturing to the picture. "You know... for sentimental reasons?"

She smiled and handed it over immediately. "Absolutely."

"We can show this to Callen," Deeks said, shaking his head. "He'll freak out. And it will be _awesome_."

* * *

"Thank you for dinner mom," Kensi offered as she gave Julia a hug on the front steps outside. "It was really great."

"Of course!"

"And for the walk down memory lane," Deeks added, gesturing to the photo that Kensi was clutching tightly in her left hand. "I'm still a bit freaked out by that."

All three of them laughed and Kensi grabbed Deeks' hand, beginning to lead him towards the car.

"Actually- do you mind if we talk for a moment?" Julia asked, gesturing to Deeks and smiling in her daughter's direction.

Kensi's eyes immediately shot over to her partner, who just shrugged, as he didn't have the slightest clue as to what Julia wanted to speak to him about.

Still, he just winked and nodded at Kensi. "I'll meet you in the car babe."

"Um... okay! Goodnight mom," Kensi said, wide eyed as she spun around and left them alone to speak.

"Goodnight!" Julia called after her, turning to face Deeks as Kensi walked away.

"I'm glad that she has you," Julia said as soon as Kensi was out of earshot. "I can tell that she loves you. I really can."

He exhaled and relaxed his stance slightly, happy that she had something nice to say to him. The other alternative would have been far less pleasant.

"I'm glad to hear it."

Julia glanced to the ground for a moment, looking down to her feet. "May I offer you a piece of advice?"

Deeks nodded and folded his arms across his chest, listening intently.

Julia searched for her words for just a moment, crossing her arms as she spoke. "Just please, whatever you do, don't let Kensi push you away. Nobody has ever _stayed _in her life before for more than just a few years. People constantly seem to come and go… and I think you should be the first to break the cycle."

Deeks smiled; honored that she thought he was the right person to stick around.

"Don't worry about me," he said, glancing back to the car where he saw Kensi staring at her phone in the passenger seat. "I'm here for the long haul."

"I'm glad," Julia winked and pulled him in for a hug. "Keep her safe out there."

"You know I will."

She patted him on the shoulder before heading back inside. "Goodnight Marty."

He simply grinned and nodded in her direction. "Goodnight."

Deeks jogged over to the car, the pounding feeling that had been emulating from his chest all evening receding slightly when it was just him and Kensi, alone at last.

"What did she say to you?" Kensi asked promptly, before Deeks even had time to shut the car door.

He shrugged, playing coy. "It's private."

"She's my mom. I've known her for longer- that means you two don't get to keep secrets from me."

"Actually... I think we've both known her for quite some time," Deeks said with raised eyebrows as he tapped the photo in Kensi's lap.

Kensi rolled her eyes and shook her head, buckling her seatbelt. "I hate you sometimes- ya know that?"

Despite her seemingly rude comment, Deeks was all smiles as he leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Kensi's lips before pulling out of the driveway.

"Yeah, I know."


	14. Memory Lane

**What else is there to say up here? Not too much. You guys are absolutely amazing- thank you for all the kind reviews and support. Please leave me your thoughts on this chapter in the review section below! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Kensi- this is _insane_," Deeks said as they both wandered into his apartment.

"I know. And I knew that when you mentioned it the first time. And the second. And the third, fourth… twentieth time as well," Kensi said sarcastically as she grabbed two beers from the fridge and she sunk into the couch, treating his home as if it were her own.

"Very funny Fern."

"I know."

"Look Kensi," Deeks began, his expression actually growing somewhat thoughtful. "I actually do think I remember you from back then, now that your mom has mentioned it. I always remembered _that girl- _I just didn't know it was you."

"Shut up," she said, playfully hitting him on the arm as she handed him a beer. "Don't just start making stuff up now. There is no _way _you knew who I was back then."

"I'm not making this up! I am a few years older than you, remember? That means I probably have a much better memory than you do of events that occurred back then."

She just snorted and patted the couch space in between them for Monty to hop up and join them. "I still don't believe you."

"Fine then," he said, all smiles as he took her comment as a challenge. "Maybe I'm just remembering another little girl. She was a bit younger than me, sure, but she still flirted with me like there was no tomorrow. She was a girl with mismatched eyes, one hazel and one brown, who asked if I wanted to share her lunch with me-"

Deeks stopped speaking when Kensi nearly spit her beer out across the room, her cheeks quickly turning red. "No."

"Yes."

"_No. _I didn't," Kensi looked to the floor immediately, deep in thought. Deeks was a jokester, but Kensi had a hard time believing that he would completely fabricate a story like that. "Did I?"

Deeks couldn't hide his growing smile. "I didn't want to bring it up in front of your mom, since I wasn't entirely sure… but yeah, you did."

His remarks easily produced a glare from her, but she couldn't hold it for long. Kensi wanted to know more- she couldn't help but be intrigued, and judging by the look that Deeks was shooting her, he _was not _making any of it up.

"What do you remember?" Kensi asked, curling her legs up on the couch and preparing for a story. "Just don't make anything up."

"I won't."

Deeks smiled and stared deep into her eyes- trying to make the memories come back to him. And they did.

"It's all a bit fuzzy, but it comes in waves I guess. I remember that day-" he said, pointing down to the photo on the coffee table. "That's why I looked so shocked when she pulled it out. As soon as I saw it… I remembered it. Nothing in particular, I just could picture it."

Kensi was already intensely intrigued as she leaned her head back on the couch and pulled a blanket up over her legs. "Well… I mean, what was I like back then? What were _you_ like?"

"I was my usual charming, cheeky, adorable self. But I remember a little girl who was very… _intense."_

"Hey," Kensi whispered, laughing as she lightly kicked Deeks from across the couch.

"You told me not to make anything up. That is exactly what I'm doing."

"Fine, fine. Continue."

He just nodded and took her instructions. "I just meant that you were… strong. And a definite tomboy." Deeks shook his head and laughed as another thought came to him.

"What? What is it?"

"I just realized that it's exactly as I've always said- you were the type of girl that punched the boy she had a crush on."

Kensi was practically cowering into the couch by that point, hiding her face behind the blanket on her lap.

"Did I punch you?" She already knew the answer, but thought the question was worth asking anyways.

He smirked and nodded. "A couple of times, from what I can recall."

"Okay- now you _are_ just making this up."

"I know you wish I was my dear," Deeks said, taking a sip of beer. "But I'm not."

"If you ever tell that to Sam and Callen, I'll shoot you personally."

"I thought you loved me?"

"I do. But that doesn't prevent me from still wanting to slug you half the time."

"See! This is exactly what I meant about you being the girl that is mean to the guy she loves."

"I was, like, seven at the time Deeks. I'm not totally sure if I _loved _you back then."

Deeks just shook his head. "I think you did. You just didn't know it yet."

* * *

Three weeks went by. They flew by really, as suddenly Kensi's job didn't actually _feel _like a job anymore.

Three weeks. Three perfect weeks of stakeouts, hidden kisses, and longing looks as they stared at one another from across the bullpen. Hetty found out about them- and just as Kensi and Deeks had assumed, their newfound scenario didn't catch her off guard in the slightest. She seemed delighted by the news, which both Kensi and Deeks suspected she'd known about for much longer than she lead on.

After that, it was just smooth sailing from there on out. They were still teased by their teammates- Kensi actually got the brunt of the jokes, almost more than Deeks did. Still, working with a partner who she didn't have to hide _anything _from was just incredible. Blissful, really.

Kensi acted like herself, and so did Deeks. They were telling each other how they felt, without lying or hiding behind a wall of cynicism, jibes, and a never-ending stream of touché references.

She was in love with everything about him. Every part of him. Even the things that used to annoy her somehow became the things that made her love him the most. It was such a deep-rooted love that sometimes, it almost hurt.

If he was gone from her sight for more than just a few hours, it seemed as if this strange emptiness worked its way into her chest. Her body could only feel the absence- even if it was merely temporary. There was nothing else but a strong, intense, powerful yearning to be close to him. The presence that could be felt through a hand held, a smile dealt, or a voice heard.

Kensi was enamored by him, and she just couldn't quite pinpoint why. Nell had been right all along- it was a million little things that piled up and made her love him, not just one thing in particular.

She fell in love with the way he stumbled out of bed when he first woke up, and how his eyes groaned with exhaustion. The way he called her babe, and how he always knew the perfect thing to say. She loved the way his hands grabbed her hipbones and his lips stole the endings of her sentences. Every single day with him felt like a month of Sunday mornings with white bed sheets and lazy smiles.

Even work days, which was exactly what that Tuesday was. But she didn't have too much trouble getting herself out of bed that morning. No quite the opposite actually, because Kensi was well aware of the fact that when she got out of bed, Deeks would be right there with her all day.

They had spent the night at her place, which seemed completely routine by that point. Most nights they alternated homes, just so each person got a fair amount of time to be at their own apartment before they uprooted and switched places the next day.

Kensi had a drawer of clothes at Deeks' place, and vice versa. It was highly necessary, just so that they never caught themselves in the same situation that they had about two weeks prior, when Deeks was thoroughly embarrassed and harassed by Sam and Callen after he wore the exact same set of clothes two days in a row.

She was woken up by Deeks as he rolled over in bed, reaching out lazily to hit the snooze button. He collapsed back down beside her, wrapping one arm tightly around her waist and placing his face a mere two inches from hers, eyes barely open in the subdued light.

"Hey."

"Hey," Kensi whispered, yawning groggily as she became slightly more aware of her surroundings.

She watched Deeks, studying how his blond locks seemed to glow in the early morning light, the rising sun showing off the natural flaxen shade of his hair. The vibrant baby blue hue of his eyes radiated through the dimly lit room, making their color seem even brighter than usual.

Kensi grinned as she tapped Deeks' nose. "You were doing that twitchy thing with your nose again."

"Not too surprising," he said, dropping a tiny kiss to the tip of her nose, his eyes fluttering open and closed. "I'm happy."

"Me too," she whispered with a grin. "We should get up though… I think my phone buzzed a minute ago."

Deeks moaned. "Already? Lemme guess… Callen. And a case of some kind."

"Let's see."

Deeks didn't loosen his grin at all as Kensi rolled over and picked up her cell phone from the bedside table, checking the home screen to find that Deeks' prediction was spot on. "Yeah. Pretty much."

"I don't want to get up though."

"Well, death waits for no man…"

"That's uplifting. Especially at six am," Deeks said, reaching one hand up to rub his eyes. "How do you know it's a dead body? We don't usually get those cases- ours are a bit crazier than that for the most part. Like a terrorist plot, or a nuclear bomb."

"It was the first quote that came to mind," Kensi replied, shimmying out of Deeks' iron grip as she sat up in bed. "By the way, you sound _way _too happy when you say terrorist plot, and far too intrigued when you mention a nuclear bomb. I might try toning it down a bit."

Deeks threw the covers back off his legs and stretched. "What can I say Fern? I like my job. Now let's get to work before G begins to wonder what we've been up to."

* * *

"Carpool again?" Callen asked teasingly as Kensi and Deeks entered the bullpen, not even bothering to look up from the paperwork that he was studying on his desk.

Neither Kensi nor Deeks bothered to respond to Callen's question- they had discovered over the past few weeks that it was much better _not _to acknowledge that kind of behavior.

"Morning to you too," Deeks said instead, slipping into his chair.

"Yeah… morning."

Kensi didn't waste any time before she got to work. Except this time, she just wasn't doing actual _work. _She slipped the shiny new picture of her and Deeks out of her backpack and out onto her desk. Kensi had actually taken the time to return to her mom's house and sift through old boxes of various mementos, looking for the original films for the picture of her and Deeks in the first grade.

She managed to locate it after a few hours of digging, and promptly took it to the store to print two or three copies. _Never_ did Kensi want to loose that photo. Never.

After she got the prints, Kensi had finally gotten around to going to the store and buying a proper frame for it to sit in. The picture was far too important for her to simply tape it to her computer monitor.

"What's that?" Callen asked, looking up from his paperwork and gesturing to the picture that she was fiddling with on her desk.

Kensi quickly realized that he'd never seen the photo before- she hadn't brought it up to the team yet, as it didn't really seem like a work conversation. Then again though, most of their conversations weren't normal work conversations, so she assumed it was safe to talk about.

Kensi turned to look at Deeks momentarily, getting his attention before returning her gaze to Callen.

"It's us," she said simply, gesturing one hand between herself and Deeks, while awaiting a confused response from Callen.

"What do you mean?" He craned his neck to catch a glimpse of the picture, but couldn't really get a good look from afar. "Those are little kids."

"Exactly," Deeks added, a cheeky grin on his face as he leaned back in his chair, weaving his hands together behind his head.

Callen's eyes shot across the room from Kensi to Deeks, still not fully catching on.

"Is it, like, photoshopped or something?"

"Okay, we aren't that weird G. Just look at the photo," Kensi said with a laugh as she stood up from her chair, walking across the room and handing it to him. She backed up and leaned against her desk, not wanting to miss Callen's expression when he finally caught on.

He studied it for a moment with thoroughly knitted eyebrows, glanced up to Kensi and Deeks, and then looked back down to the picture again, repeating the same cycle about five times before finally coming to a conclusion.

"Holy shit."

Deeks was quick to chime in. "Ha! That's exactly what I said."

"Me too," Kensi agreed. "I internalized it, because I was with my mother at the time, but still- I thought it."

He shook his head, an expression of disbelief still clear across his face. "So wait… you guys knew each other as kids?"

Kensi and Deeks both nodded, confirming his suspicions. By that point, the shock of it all had worn off for them. It was still new and crazy, sure, but it wasn't _shocking. _For Callen though, it was definitely still alarming.

"That is seriously crazy."

Kensi chuckled and pointed one finger across the room to her partner. "That's what he keeps telling me."

"Yeah… Kensi's mom said that I was her first crush."

Callen's smile grew wider and wider as he turned to look at Kensi. "Oh, did she now?"

"Morning," Sam said as he strolled into the bullpen, pulling out his chair and sitting down immediately. His eyes quickly caught on the photo that Callen was holding though, and he was quick to chime into the conversation. "Who's that?"

"Kensi and Deeks," Callen said, still shaking his head in utter disbelief. "They knew each other as kids."

Sam dropped his bag to the floor with a thud. "You're kidding right?"

"Nope," Kensi and Deeks both chimed in, speaking in unison.

"First crush," Deeks added with a sly smile, pointing across the room to his partner.

Sam looked to be genuinely dumbfounded. "Holy shit."

"Yup."

"Yeah, that's what everyone says."

Their conversation was quickly interrupted by Eric though, as he let out a loud whistle from the top of the stairs. "Hey guys! Hetty needs you up in OPS."

Sam and Callen immediately began making their way to the staircase, Sam pausing only fleetingly in between Kensi and Deeks' desks.

"Maybe I was wrong all along. It looks like you two kids were meant to be together from the start."

He was joking, but Kensi still couldn't help but hear the sincerity inside it.

"You hear that babe? It's meant to be!" Deeks shouted, loud enough for practically the entire office to hear as Sam began to walk away again.

Kensi ran over to his desk before he even had a chance to stand up from his chair, pointing one finger in his face. "Don't call me _babe_ in the office, Deeks. Ever."

He just smirked in her direction. "Fine… I'll choose something else then. Sugar bear? Honey? Light of my life? Princess?"

Kensi couldn't have given him a bigger eye roll if she tried. "Shut uuuuup!"

And that, right there, was the perfect example of Kensi and Deeks' relationship. It certainly wasn't "normal," not under any circumstances. They teased each other, they play-hit each other, and they called each other names. But underneath that, anyone with half a brain could see how much they cared.

Because if you listened closely to every joking _"shut up," _there was an _"I love you" _hidden inside it.


	15. On the Town

**I am so grateful for all the kind words! You guys are wonderful, really and truly. I hope you enjoy this chapter- please leave me your thoughts in the review section below! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Pass the fries please," Kensi said to Deeks with a full mouth, as she chowed down on a turkey burger in her living room.

He raised one eyebrow, but still did as he was told. Deeks couldn't help but chuckle though, as he watched his girlfriend take a long sip of her beer in between bites, eyes glued to the Top Model marathon on her TV.

It was only 7:00 PM on a Friday night, and they were already wearing sweats and lounging on her couch.

"Hey Kensi?"

"Yeah?" Her eyes didn't stray from the television screen.

Deeks just shook his head and looked down to his lap, before springing up from his seat.

"That's it. Last straw. We're going out tonight."

"What are you talking about?" Kensi asked, hurriedly swallowing down a large sip of beer as she turned to look at him. She was comfortable- too comfortable.

"Kens- I love you, but I am tired of just sitting around here. It's a Friday night, and we are two _very_ attractive young people. We need to get out. Live life."

Kensi just cocked her head to one side. "I am living life. I'm just doing it vicariously through my television."

"Kensi-"

"Deeks-"

"No. I am putting my foot down. Now that you're my girlfriend, I believe that it is my responsibility to make you have some fun."

"What kind of fun?" Kensi asked wearily, setting her beer and burger back down on the coffee table.

"You'll see Fern," Deeks said with a wink as he grabbed Kensi's hand and pulled her up off the couch. "Put on your best dress- we're going out tonight."

* * *

"Is this really your idea of fun?!" Kensi asked, yelling loud enough that Deeks could still hear her over the thumping base of the music.

"Yes!" He exclaimed, a ridiculously large smile strewn across his face as he extended one arm out, bending it at the elbow so Kensi could weave her arm through it. "By the way- did I mention that you look stunning tonight?"

"Easy there Deeks." Kensi said as she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "And no, you didn't. So thank you."

"You're very welcome."

"Really though- you enjoy this?" Kensi asked as she peered around the room.

His cheeky grin just couldn't be contained. "Not so much in the past… but now I do."

"Why now?"

He shrugged and quickly turned his head towards her, catching her off guard as he planted a quick kiss on her lips.

"Because now I get to show off my gorgeous girlfriend."

"Wow. You're a smooth talker tonight."

"Aren't I a smooth talker _every _night?"

"You sure try to be," she muttered.

"What was that Fern?"

"Oh, nothing."

Deeks smirked as he tore his eyes away from her and continued glancing around the room, his eyes dashing from corner to corner.

"Are you looking for someone, Deeks?"

"I am actually," Deeks said as he turned to look at her, a grin stretching from ear to ear. "Your old friend is here."

Kensi had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. "Who?"

He grinned his crooked smile, the one that was so adorable it practically made her heart melt, and pointed to a man alone at a corner booth: it was Ray. The first person to ever acknowledge that the two of them actually had a _thing. _And boy had he been right.

She was stunned as she caught a glimpse of his face through the growing crowds. "Since when does Ray come to visit?"

Deeks' smile widened. "Since I told him I had a surprise. He was far too intrigued to stay away."

Kensi rolled her eyes, as she finally understood what all of the prep and fuss had been about. Deeks wanted to take Kensi out, not only to show her off to the many random strangers that would be lurking around, but also so he could brag to his best friend. Of course she feigned annoyance, but in actuality Kensi was incredibly flattered.

"Come on babe," he said, turning so his nose was about one inch away from hers. "Let's go say hello."

She just shrugged, keeping her arm tightly linked with his. Ray was the first person they were really _seeing _together, as a couple, and she couldn't help but be proud of her man. "Sure."

They slowly made their way across the room, bobbing and weaving through the crowd. Multiple guy's eyes shot over to stare at Kensi, but she just held tight to Deeks' arm, not saying a word in protest as he glared back at them.

"Hey Ray," Deeks said, not wasting any time before he nodded his head over to Kensi, as if Ray wouldn't have noticed her otherwise.

"Good to see you again," Kensi added simply, ignoring Deeks' expression.

"Wikipedia! What are you doing here?" Ray asked as he noticed Kensi and Deeks' linked arms. "Oh, so-"

"Yeah- this was the surprise I was telling you about." He slid into the booth, still grinning like an idiot. He glanced over to Kensi, then back again to Ray, who didn't seem to shocked by the whole scenario.

"It's not very surprising to me. I mean… you both made it pretty obvious to anyone who was watching."

Kensi's cheeks changed to a rosy hue and she smiled, still failing to deny the accusations. They were together after all, so there was really no harm in acknowledging the truth, or any good in refuting it.

They chatted for a good while about a mixture of things… work, life, love. Ray was mainly intrigued as to what had finally sparked between the two of them, so Kensi gave them some space to talk for a minute.

"I'm gonna go freshen up and grab a drink at the bar… you think you can manage without me?"

Deeks winked. "I'll try."

Kensi chuckled and shook her head, standing up to go. Then suddenly: it was just the guys.

"I hate to say it… but I called it. Actually who am I kidding- I love to say it! I called it!"

Deeks looked down to the table and laughed, fiddling with the straw in his drink.

"What was it that finally made you two kids get your shit together?"

That easily produced a glare from Deeks. "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean! It took you, what, like for years to acknowledge that you actually have a thing? What happened?"

"I don't know… we just stopped denying everything I guess."

"Oh come on! Don't be so coy- what did you say to her? It was something _really _charming, I'm sure."

Deeks chuckled. "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic, but I'll take it."

Ray leaned forward, still waiting for a response.

"We had to go undercover together, as a married couple. Everything just became so… real. And I couldn't help but want a life like that for myself," he shook his head, thinking back to that night. "It's kind of funny- we actually got into a fight first."

Ray looked genuinely confused. "What about?"

"I just said that I'd had to grasp and claw for everything before… and I asked why now would be any different."

"Oh, so you were an ass."

It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, more or less." Deeks tilted his head from shoulder to shoulder. "I fixed it though."

"How?"

"Well... I said that I was sorry, and that I'd been waiting for her for years," Deeks stared at the table in front of him, obviously entranced in another world. "And then I said that I was in love with her. I mean, you can't really go wrong with that."

Ray puffed his chest like a proud big brother. "No, you can't."

His phone immediately buzzed, and Deeks took another sip of his drink as Ray checked the screen for messages.

"Who is it?"

Ray cringed just a tad. "The wife has the baby back at the hotel… she's beckoning me home. Tell Wikipedia I said congrats, alright?"

"Will do, Ray."

He stood up and nodded in his friend's direction. "Never shoot first."

Deeks grinned. "Always shoot back."

He looked back down to his drink and took another sip, glancing around the room and feeling rather alone as his friend left. Suddenly his overprotective partner/boyfriend instincts were spiking, as he realized that Kensi had never come back after her trip to the restroom and then the bar. Deeks glanced around, scanning the room for her, but didn't find her as it was difficult to spot anyone in the growing crowds.

"Geez- bug off!"

That was the sound that made Deeks spin around, as the rest of the people standing nearby in the club did the exact same thing. He easily recognized the voice as Kensi's, and was livid as he watched some creepy guy leaning into her side at the bar.

With an intense fury Deeks stood up from the booth, pushing past people and jogging over to stand in front of her without a second thought.

"You good Kensi?" Deeks asked, gaze severe as he stared into his partner's eyes.

"Yeah I'm fine," Kensi muttered, looking rather disgusted and embarrassed as she took another step back from the scenario.

The guy that had been hitting on her moved one step closer as she stepped away though, and altogether it was almost too much for Deeks to handle.

"Hey! Leave her alone," Deeks said, obviously angry as he grabbed the man's shoulder, causing him to turn around immediately.

"Is this your guy?" He asked Kensi, his voice obviously slurred from the obscene amounts of alcohol that he'd ingested. "Well, I think you could do better."

Deeks raised his eyebrows, trying hard not to react as hot searing rage throbbed painfully at his temples.

The drunk guy wasn't done yet though, and continued to egg Deeks on- obviously looking for trouble. "She's quite a hottie you got there. Why's she at the bar all alone though? Did you need some space so you could go flirt with another girl?"

Deeks didn't even respond, but instead just tried his best to concentrate on breathing normally. Kensi saw his face and widened her eyes, silently warning him not to react, which she knew he was damn close to doing.

The drunk man just shook his head. "Ha! Yeah… I thought so."

Deeks just couldn't hold the mounting fury in any longer. He threw one punch to the guy's face, who was quick to react.

"Deeks!" Kensi screeched, attempting to pull them apart but failing as the force of the two of them was just too much for her. Kensi was strong- but couldn't be quite as effective when wearing high heels.

By that point, a full on fistfight had broken out. Deeks threw a punch, then the drunk guy retaliated, and so on. When Kensi was finally able to separate them, blood was already spilling from Deeks' nose, coming down to leave a crimson stain on his shirt.

Kensi didn't waste any time in pulling him from the situation. "Deeks! Come on. We're getting out of here- now."

She grabbed one of Deeks' hands while he held the other over his nose, attempting to stop the bleeding. Everyone stared in their direction as she pulled him through the club, avoiding eye contact with each person that looked in her direction and instead keeping her sights glued on the door in front of her.

Once they were outside, Kensi continued walking and didn't say a word or stop until they reached his car.

Deeks buckled over once he climbed inside, clutching his side and attempting to breathe normally as he slammed the door shut.

"Ow… I hate that asshole."

She moved one hand over towards his face, inspecting the damage. "Yeah- I think he got the message."

Deeks chuckled, but winced immediately. "Ugh. Please don't make me laugh."

_"_Okay. But only because you said please."

"Seriously Kens? I think I have a broken nose."

"Oh yeah?" She asked, chuckling herself. "I should break your nose myself."

He opened his mouth to stare at her in mock horror. "Why?"

"I had that handled back there, Deeks. You know that. We could have just left… you didn't have to make a scene," she said, grabbing gauze from the first aid kit in his back seat. That was one of the perks of being a special agent- they were prepared for pretty much _any _scenario.

"You know I was just- _ow," _he flinched as she began patting his nose with the gauze. "-defending your honor."

"I'm not sure that my honor needed to be defended."

"I was just trying to back you up…" he said, trailing off and looking rather defeated. "You're my partner, and my girlfriend. That means I _really _need to have your back."

As Kensi evaluated his expression, she decided that it was probably a good time to stop teasing him. The look Deeks was giving her was so pitiful and pathetic- it was the type of look that made you want to grab someone and wrap them up in a tight bear hug.

"Deeks," she began, gently placing one finger under his chin, turning his head so he was looking directly at her. "I know what you were trying to do."

She gently and delicately kissed his lips, being very careful that her nose didn't touch his.

"I'm sorry," Deeks whispered as they pulled apart, shaking his head. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's fine."

She wasn't just saying it- Kensi genuinely meant it. It was fine. Deeks had been trying to protect her, and if nothing else good came out of it, she knew it would give them a great story to tell later on.

"Wait-" Kensi said, putting one finger up as her expression became rather puzzled. "What happened to Ray?"

"Oh, he had to go back to the hotel… that was before everything broke out though," Deeks leaned away from Kensi as she did the same, buckling over in his seat once again. "I am _definitely _going to tell him about this."

"Okay, well let's save that for tomorrow," Kensi said as she started the car, throwing it into reverse immediately. "I think you have a bruised rib there buddy. And maybe even a broken nose."

"I think you might be right," he replied, breathless as he sat back up in the seat, leaning his head against the rest.

"Are you sure we don't need to go to the hospital?" Kensi asked, worriedly glancing over to her partner as his breathing continued to sound staggered.

"I'll be alright Fern," he said with a wink and a cheeky smile. "Just promise me that you'll play nurse."


	16. First and Last

**Shorter chapter today- but I definitely think I make up for it in content. ;) I have a feeling ya'll will like this one… Please review as always!**

**-Hazel**

* * *

Kensi had managed to help Deeks clean up rather easily; he managed to escape the scuffle with nothing but a few bumps and bruises- no broken nose like they had earlier suspected.

One more week passed by- a week where neither Kensi nor Deeks divulged what had happened that night to their other teammates. They played it off by saying that Deeks' black eye was a result of a sparing workout gone-too-far.

Maybe someday down the road Deeks would feel better about it, but at the time it was still a bit too embarrassing to talk about openly. Needless to say, they didn't go out to a nightclub again for _quite _some time.

For the first time in weeks, Kensi and Deeks had spent the previous night at their own homes, as Deeks said he had some errands to run. What those errands _were_ exactly Deeks wouldn't divulge, but he'd still gone. Kensi assumed that he was planning some special dinner for them, or a night out on the town after their last one hadn't gone so swimmingly, but she really couldn't be sure.

So that morning at work, Kensi was even more suspicious of him than usual, solely because he had been acting so strange. The old Kensi would have thought he was hiding something bad from her, some secret that he didn't want her to find out about- but the new Kensi knew much better than to suspect something of that nature.

Time and time again Deeks had proven himself to be trustworthy- and if she hadn't known by _that _point that he would be completely faithful to her, than it would have been an utterly ridiculous scenario for the both of them. Nobody was more worthy of her total and complete trust than Marty Deeks.

She had little or no clue what was going on - but something was different that day_. Deeks_ seemed different. It was like his mind was off in another world. It was a normal day though, one that was possibly even more boring than most. They had just completed another case and hadn't been assigned a new one yet, so it was just another day at the office with piles and piles of paperwork and case reports.

As the day progressed, every few minutes or so she would catch him staring off into space, or see him smiling at the ground for no apparent reason; Kensi just knew he was up to something. What that was exactly she couldn't pinpoint, but there was something that he was failing to tell her, or maybe even something obvious that Kensi was just failing to notice herself.

It made no sense to her whatsoever, but Kensi still played along for Deeks' sake and didn't say a word. She carried on as if everything was normal, not allowing Deeks' odd behavior to get the best of her.

It had finally reached the end of the day, and Kensi was beyond ready to head home again. It was days like those that made her so glad that she had a job where she primarily worked out in the field, as sitting under a desk with bright florescent lights beaming down on her all day had proven to be filled with little or no excitement at all.

Going home was a good feeling, but it was even better with her partner by her side. She had become accustomed to having him around, so much so that when he wasn't there, it just felt like a part of her was missing. It felt _abnormal _to go home to an empty apartment_. _

"You wanna come back to my place? Have a beer?" Kensi asked as she stood up from her desk. It was safe to talk like that, as nobody else was around by that point- Sam and Callen had both cleared out a few minutes prior.

"Yeah… sure," he replied absent-mindedly, once again fidgeting as he walked along beside her, both hands in his pockets.

"Hey Deeks?"

"Yeah," he said, finally giving her his attention when she addressed him directly.

Kensi furrowed her brow as she spoke. "You okay?"

His eyes widened immediately. "What? Yeah! I'm great."

She didn't know what to make of his response, so Kensi just nodded and grabbed her backpack off the top of her desk, heading for the exit beside her partner.

"Um… Kensi?" Deeks asked as he stopped in the exact center of OSP, his nervousness clear to anyone that may have been watching.

"Yeah," she replied distractedly, only looking up from her phone and giving him her full attention when she noted that his backpack was still sitting on top of his desk.

"You should grab your bag. Aren't we… going home?"

She asked the question suspiciously, pointing her thumb behind her to his desk. Deeks was confirming her earlier suspicions: something was going on. Kensi had absolutely no clue what it was- but something was _definitely_ going on.

Deeks didn't even bother responding to her question. Instead he just stared into her eyes, his gaze intense.

"I love you, Kensi."

Suddenly her heart was racing, her palms sweating as she attempted to keep her grip on the bag that was in her hand, which was quickly becoming a rather trying task. Kensi had no clue how she was supposed to respond to his comment, so she replied with what seemed to be the most obvious choice.

"Well… I, um, love you too."

Deeks grinned and looked down to his feet. "I don't just love you though, Kensi. I am _in _love with you."

His eyes returned to hers with such a powerful honesty and fierce gaze that it almost took her breath away entirely.

Kensi was at a loss for words as she swallowed hard and her cheeks turned pink, continuing to contemplate what it all could mean.

That was when she noticed them: Sam, Callen, Nell, Eric and Hetty, all standing side by side to the left of the room, each person holding the same staunch expression.

"What are you…"

Kensi looked from them to Deeks and then back again, still genuinely confused and trying her best to put all the pieces together.

Deeks bit his bottom lip and shook his head, suddenly rather misty eyed. "I want to ask you something, Kensi."

Her heart nearly stopped right then and there. Deeks had prompted the statement with such a flaming sincerity that she knew he wasn't asking her out to dinner, or asking something quite trivial as she'd suspected earlier.

She thought about responding before her knees buckled from the mounting anticipation, but Kensi had no clue what she should say to him. Luckily for her sake, Deeks continued on.

"You can question a million different things in life, but I never, _ever _want you to question how much I love you. I never knew that I would feel this strongly about you, or anyone for that matter- but I do. Without even realizing it, you have taught me so many incredible things. Not only about life in general though… you've shown me that it is possible to feel something extraordinary about someone. Something that is beyond basic comprehension."

Kensi whispered, "Oh my god," as he paused briefly in his speech- she felt what was coming. Maybe it was the strange pressure in her chest that just wouldn't go away, or the way her entire body was beginning to quiver in anticipation. The tears flooded into her eyes at a supersonic rate, and Deeks was quick to move one hand up towards her face, wiping a stray droplet of salty water off her cheek as he continued on.

"I know you better than anyone- your imperfections, your weaknesses… and yet I still love you with everything I have. I am in love _with _your flaws. They are perfect. _You_ are perfect. You're just absolutely extraordinary, Kensi. I am constantly amazed by the depths of your strength, and by the way that you never _quit," _he smiled and shook his head.

"You never back down- and it's an amazing thing to witness. You've been through so much in your life, but you don't let that stop you. Rather than looking at it as a weakness, you just let it fuel you. You let it drive you. I am so madly in love with you Kens… it's crazy. Indescribable in a single word."

Deeks stopped speaking momentarily and looked around to the group of various coworkers who had formed a wide circle around them- _everyone_ was there.

Even the people he didn't know well at all had gathered around to watch what was unfolding before them, and he was glad. His wandering eyes didn't stray for long though, as within a matter of seconds they came back to focus on the tearful woman in front of him.

"Look- I know this may seem rushed and quick and crazy to the people that are now standing around watching us, but I don't even care. I wanted our team to be here for this, because we're a _family_. This is the first place where I've ever actually felt like I really belonged. I know that I was meant to come here and end up with you. We've been together a month, but it has been the best month of my life. I know without even a shadow of doubt that I have found the love of my life… and it's you."

Deeks' voice broke as he saw tears sparkling in Kensi's eyes, but he pressed on anyways.

"So you see, I don't need to date you for another year to know that I want to be with you forever. Just as you told me a few weeks ago: I want something permanent. Something that can't be taken away at a moments notice. And the other day at your mom's house I realized something-"

Kensi's breath hitched as Deeks dug around in his pocket, pulling out and opening a small black jewelry box before sinking down to one knee in front of her. "-I was your first love, and now I want to be your last."

"So, Kensi Blye… will you marry me?"


	17. Get the Girl

**Thank you for all the incredible reviews- I'm so flattered! I'm so glad that you guys are loving this story:) Please leave me your thoughts below as always!**

**-Hazel**

* * *

_"So, Kensi Blye… will you marry me?"_

He had quite easily and without warning turned her into a blubbering mess.

Kensi was so taken aback by everything he'd just said that she could do hardly anything except stare at him, wide eyed as the tears welled up in her eyes and began rolling down her cheeks like rivulets.

Abruptly the air felt quite thick, which was making it fairly difficult for her to communicate anything to him, let alone form an intelligible sentence. It was as if, in that moment, she had no words strong enough to name the feelings that flooded through her.

She loved him. She loved him so insanely much that someone who hadn't experienced a love like that would never understand it. They would never get where it came from, or why it ran so deep. It wasn't necessarily logical how much she loved him- but still, she loved him all the same.

Deeks was her her best friend. She had somehow managed to find the strongest, most earnest friendship with the same the person that she'd also fallen deeply in love with. He made her feel safe, beautiful, smart, secure, silly, serious, salacious, serene and satisfied- all at once.

He spoke highly of her. He cherished her. He laughed with her; or rather he _made_ her laugh, and did it basically every chance he got. The kind of laugh that made Kensi's belly ache and her nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Life is far too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them.

But in addition to all the fun- Deeks let her cry. Kensi knew that at some point, for whatever reason, despair would come. Not to their relationship- just to life in general, as in their line of work it was bound to happen eventually. She'd found someone who would want to be there with her through those times.

Most importantly though, she was in love with the one man that made passion, love, and absolute madness combine and course through her. It was a love that would never dilute, even when the waters got deep and dark.

Right then- it was just the two of them. No one else existed. All Kensi could hear was the brash, thumping beat of her heart and the many thoughts that swarmed around in the chasms of her mind.

Suddenly she became well aware of the fact that Deeks had been down on one knee for a good twenty seconds, wide eyed and innocent- just waiting for an answer to his rather important question. By that point, practically everyone else in the room was doing the exact same thing: holding their breath and waiting for Kensi's response.

"Yes," she whispered simply, too overcome by emotion to say anything else. She noticed the tears that were beginning to pool in Deeks' eyes as he slipped a flawless diamond ring onto her finger with shaking hands.

As Deeks stood up, Kensi didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him without even a second of trepidation or apprehension. The entire room erupted into applause and cheers- startling both Kensi and Deeks, who had briefly forgotten about their presence entirely.

Because in that moment, neither of them moved. Neither of them breathed. They just... existed together. Any prior tension that had been lingering nearby was long gone. And the kiss was candid, still desperate, because it was real. The most honest, sincere moment they'd ever shared.

Kensi found it funny that she didn't miss Deeks' affection until was given, but in that moment she craved it more than anything else. He could never give it enough; she would drown in it if possible.

They pulled themselves apart before things got out of hand in front of their coworkers, Kensi coming to rest her forehead against his.

"I love you," Kensi whispered, giggling just a tad.

"I love you too Fern," Deeks said, pressing a kiss to her forehead before pulling back and wrapping one arm tightly around her waist.

"Hey guys!" Deeks hollered to his friends, laughing as he finally acknowledged their company.

The shock of it all was still lingering nearby, and he couldn't help but chuckle at their peculiar situation. Sure, he'd expected Kensi to say yes, but that still didn't mean that he had counted on it, as she tended to be unpredictable at the worst of times.

Their love was irrational, impromptu, bewildering and spur of the moment. It was surreal for the both of them, and senseless by society's standards.

It was_ their_ love though, and that was just how it went. It wasn't thought through, nor was it planned. But in the end, Deeks liked it better that way. Those are the best kinds of love- when they come at unexpected times and from unexpected places.

Deeks' allowed himself to be brought back to reality as the two of them walked over to receive a long stream of hugs, high fives, and congratulatory phrases.

Nell was clearly crying, not attempting to hold anything back. Eric looked dumbfounded, and Hetty was all smiles.

"Congrats Kensi," Eric said, nodding in her direction with a genuine smile. He really was too astonished by it all to add anything more than that.

"Congratulations Ms. Blye," Hetty said, leaning in close as if she was going to tell Kensi a secret. "You know, your man really has a way with words!"

"Thank you Hetty."

Kensi smiled as she looked over to her partner and then back down to the ground; Deeks was separated from her, across the room speaking to other OSP team members. Even looking at the guy made her blush. "He sure can be a smooth talker when he needs to be."

Kensi rapidly realized that the five closest members of their team had been standing around _before _Deeks proposed, so she was quick to ask questions.

"Did you_ all_ know?" She inquired suspiciously, discreetly attempting to wipe the tears away from underneath her eyes.

Nell was still a hiccupping mess. "He-he just told the all of us that we should stick around after work! We had no idea he was going to do, well, _that!"_

Kensi chuckled and gave her a hug, glancing over to Deeks who was standing a few feet away from her, talking to Sam and Callen. He looked up and caught her eye just as she did the same, sending a quick wink and a cheeky grin her way. She had _never_ seen him look that happy.

Kensi's heart instantaneously picked up speed, but she swiftly turned her head back towards Nell as she grabbed Kensi's hand, examining the diamond rock that was resting on her left hand ring finger.

"That is _insane! _Have you even looked at this thing yet? Holy crap!"

Truthfully Kensi hadn't gotten the chance to correctly examine it, so she just shook her head and took the opportunity to do so.

When she did, it immediately took her breath away. The ring was unquestionably stunning- and that was for certain. And it belonged to her. It was _her _engagement ring.

It consisted of a thin center diamond band that held an exquisite diamond stone, one that was so large it seemed to almost overpower her thin fingers. But truthfully- it was just perfection. She continued to just stare at it, watching as the diamonds sparkled and reflected the fading sunlight that shined in through the overhead windows. Kensi had minor heart palpitations just looking at it.

She had absolutely no clue how Deeks could've possibly been able to afford such an extravagant purchase, but she would interrogate him about that later. That day was solely to consist of happiness and smiles. And lots of kissing- but that part was implied.

More tears pooled in Kensi's eyes as she glanced up to look at her partner and soon to be husband once more, who was chatting with Callen and Sam.

"Congrats man," Callen said with an honest smile. "You proved me wrong- I'm glad."

"Thanks G," Deeks replied sincerely, all smiles. He couldn't stay serious for long though- Deeks was in far too good of a mood to do that.

"You know, I just did what you said," he added with a cheeky grin.

"What did I say?" Callen asked, clearly confused and not getting the joke.

Deeks shrugged and patted him on the shoulder, still holding the same expression.

"You told me to go and '_get my girl'._ So I did just that."

Callen just shook his head in disbelief and chuckled. "And I see that you took my instructions very literally."

"Oh definitely," Deeks said, giving a sarcastic nod. "It was all you bud."

Their conversation was swiftly interrupted by Kensi, who had finally been relinquished from Nell's iron grip as her tearful best friend took a trip to the ladies room in order to clean up her rather smudged mascara.

"Hey," she said, smiling a toothy grin. Relief and contentment flashed over Deeks' features as she walked towards him. He gave her a crooked smile, and could do nothing except just stare at her as she came their way.

She didn't immediately travel to his side though; Kensi walked up to her other teammates, giving huge hugs to both Sam and Callen. Neither of them seemed too put off by the situation- they actually seemed rather thrilled by it all.

Though she may have just conjured it up in her mind, Kensi could have sworn that she'd seen a hint of tearfulness glistening in Callen's eyes. In the chaotic nature of the moment it would have been tough to know for certain though, so Kensi didn't bother bringing it up.

After all the smiles and pats on the back, she was right next to Deeks once again, coming to stick by his side like a magnet. Kensi and Deeks were still both in a state that could only be described as complete and utter shock, and that was when it really set in.

She grabbed Deeks' hand and intertwined his fingers with hers, glancing up to grin in his direction while Sam and Callen blabbed on incessantly to one another, arguing about who saw them together first. It all just felt right.

He chuckled and planted a single kiss on the top of Kensi's head. She closed her eyes and glanced down to the floor, blushing and hoping that nobody was paying attention.

Truthfully though-_ everyone_ was paying attention. They may have looked like their conversations were focused elsewhere, but in reality all eyes were glued to Kensi and Deeks, each person just waiting to see what adorable thing they were going to do next.

Deeks kept his grip tight on Kensi's hand as he began slowly walking backwards towards his desk, ready to grab his bag and get out of there.

"I think we're going to head out for the night! We love you guys!" Kensi exclaimed, right there with Deeks, as she couldn't wait to get back home herself.

"Goodnight!"

That was the resounding response from everyone in the room, who began clapping and cheering once more as Kensi and Deeks walked towards the exit.

They smiled and waved, Kensi making a mental note of that exact moment in time. For once in her life- _everything _was in order. And it was an incredible feeling.

The pounding in Kensi's chest didn't recede once it was just the two of them, standing alone outside by her car. If anything, it picked _up_ speed. An overhead light in the parking lot shined directly on Deeks' face, making his vivid blue eyes glimmer even more than usual.

"You proposed, Deeks. And we're _engaged_."

Kensi spoke slowly, letting the words repeat over and over again in her head, as if somehow that would make the reality of it all even more profound- which is exactly what it did.

"I know," he replied, chuckling and wrapping both arms around her waist. "Did I say I love you too much in my little rant back there? Because it sure feels like I said it a lot."

Kensi laughed and looked down to her feet, shaking her head and allowing Deeks to plant a kiss right on top of it. Of course, only Marty Deeks would find a way to mock the seamless speech that he'd said to her back there.

"I don't know Deeks," she said, trailing off as she looked back up to him, her expression quickly becoming rather sincere. "I thought it was perfect."

"Good. I did too."

Deeks shot a wink her way, ever so smug in his witty response.

"First and last love... I liked that part."

"It was true, you know," he replied simply, his smug attitude receding slightly. "I loved you then... and I love you now. And that's why I want to marry you."

She smiled and planted a kiss on his lips, even more tears pooling in her eyes as he spoke. Kensi had never felt happier or more at ease than she did in that perfect little moment with her partner, as she watched the fading sunlight dance across his face, casting shadows on the two of them as they stood in the empty parking lot.

"I love you too, Deeks."


	18. Stuck, Smitten, Whatever

**You guys are the most amazing readers anyone could ever ask for! I mean it:) Please continue to review- I will be responding to each one that comes in today! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

"So now I guess we _really _have to talk about this Kens," Deeks said, feigning seriousness as he brought Kensi a cup of coffee the next morning while she got ready for work. "I mean I've always thought about it... but now it's real."

"Thanks," she said, accepting the coffee but furrowing her brow as she contemplated his words. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He rolled his eyes, as if she was missing something that should have been glaringly obvious. "Our _wedding. _Duh."

He leaned up against the doorframe, still in sweatpants as he leisurely sipped his coffee; Deeks wasn't too worried about getting to the office perfectly on time, since everyone at work had witnessed the dramatic events that had transpired the evening before.

"Deeks," Kensi began, stopping applying her makeup and setting her foundation brush back down on the counter. "We got engaged last night. Some people stay engaged for like, _years_ before they actually tie the knot."

He looked rather concerned, clearly wondering if she shared the same sentiments. "Is that what you want to do?"

"No. You?"

"Definitely not."

"Good," Kensi said, nodding and allowing a small grin to tug at the corners of her mouth as she resumed applying her makeup.

"What do you want to do Fern? Big wedding, small wedding, farm, beach, church, elope?"

She just chuckled. "That is _so_ not happening Deeks."

"You need to be specific here, because that sounds like you're talking about all of them. You're already wearing the ring, baby. Can't back out now."

"No Deeks. I meant no to the _eloping _part_."_

"What? Come on! I thought it would be fun! I feel like we've had this discussion before. Vegas? Oh yeah. _Vegaaaas_."

Deeks wasn't allowing her to stay focused on one thing for long.

"Seriously?"

"As serious as a heart attack," he replied, taking another sip of coffee.

"Do I really look like the, _'let's get married in a drive through chapel in Vegas!' _type of girl to you?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

"That wasn't meant to be a real question."

"I certainly _took _it as real question. I think it would be fabulous. Elvis impersonator, a few drinks… actually _a lot _of drinks-"

"Please- stop while you're ahead. This is getting real annoying, real quick."

"Oh- I'm ahead now, huh?"

"Well, I mean you did propose to me yesterday, so that should count for something."

"Very true. But really- no sarcastic rebuttal? I expect more from you Blye, I really do," he said, wearing a wide grin as he spoke. "By the way, you're adorable when you get angry. Stunning, honestly. I love it."

Kensi was attempting to apply mascara, but quickly had to drop the wand back to the counter. "Deeks. _Please._ I need to do my makeup, and it's really hard when I'm laughing."

_"_Fine," he said, chuckling as he took one step closer to Kensi, kissing the top of her head. "But only because you said please."

* * *

"I honestly forgot about what happened last night until _right now_," Callen said, shocking even himself as he paused in the center of OSP, staring at the ground. There was no _good morning_, or casual _hello _like they usually exchanged.

Kensi, Deeks and Sam all looked up from their desks- Deeks was especially amused by Callen's reaction.

"Well… morning to you too. Lemme guess- you two idiots went out and got drunk last night," Deeks added with raised eyebrows, gesturing between Sam and Callen. It was the only explanation for why he would have momentarily forgotten entirely about such a huge event.

"More or less."

Callen moved across the room, placing his backpack down on his desk. "So this is just normal now? Nobody is going to talk about it?"

Kensi and Deeks both looked up to meet each other's gaze at the exact same time.

"Talk about what?" Kensi asked, clearly not getting his point.

Callen just gawked. "A month ago, he annoyed the crap out of you. Now you're getting married. I think it's great…. It's just kind of _insane, _don't you think?"

Kensi just chuckled and shrugged. "I don't know, I haven't really thought about it too much. Things just progressed kind of quickly this past month, and then he asked me to marry him, and I answered yes. 'Nough said."

She didn't feel the need to explain herself, so Kensi desperately tried to play it all off and act as nonchalant as possible towards the team. Truthfully though, that wasn't at all how she was feeling internally.

As she glanced down and caught a glimpse of her new, sparkling diamond engagement ring, Kensi's heart rate immediately picked speed. Not in a bad way, or in a doubting way, just in a _holy-crap-I-just-got-engaged-this-is-crazy _kind of way.

Deeks loved his fiancé's response, so he was beaming as he turned to look at Callen, nodding profusely in agreement.

"Oh, okay. Well I just thought that you were smitten with him _from the beginning_- remember that Kensi?" Callen asked, eyebrows raised.

"Oh my god, what?" Deeks asked, channeling his best valley girl accent. "What are you talking about?"

Kensi rolled her eyes and waved Callen off, looking back to the paperwork on her desk and trying to seem busy; she wasn't fooling anyone.

"It was nothing."

Deeks wasn't getting anything out of her, so he turned his attention to Callen immediately. "What happened?"

"Hey Deeks? I'm still right here."

Deeks didn't even bother to acknowledge her comment, but instead kept his eyes focused on G as he began to speak.

"Before we knew that you were LAPD, when we were working that first case together, Kensi said that she just was 'stuck' on you. And I said, 'stuck, smitten, whatever.' That's it. She just... _liked you_ from the beginning. It really wasn't a huge deal."

"Thank you!" Kensi exclaimed, lifting both hands up in the air. "It _wasn't_ a big deal. Can we move on now? Maybe do some work?"

They all nodded in fake agreement. The minute she turned away though, Callen immediately motioned for Deeks to look over in his direction, speaking hurriedly before Kensi killed the both of them. "I lied, it was a big deal."

"Seriously?" Kensi didn't look amused as she slammed a pen down on her desk.

Deeks shrugged, his expression as conceited as it could possibly be. "No need to hide your feelings Blye… you've been madly in love with me since the first grade. It just took you awhile to figure it out. But that's okay- I'm alright with it, because some people are just slow learners, ya know? It's completely normal. Plenty of people go through trying times. It took you many years to see what was right in front of you, but since I love you, I will support you through this learning process-"

"Deeks?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop."

"Fine." He just chuckled and grinned. "Anything for you, Fern."

* * *

"Hey Deeks?"

Kensi called out to her partner, waiting impatiently as she sat on the couch in her living room. She had been trying desperately for the past twenty minutes to get up the courage to actually call him over- because they needed to talk.

Kensi was certain that she wouldn't be able to stand going through the rest of the night without discussing the thoughts that had been weighing heavily on her mind, so she assumed it was best to get the conversation out of the way sooner rather than later.

"Yeah! What is it?"

Kensi stood up and began pacing- she couldn't stand just sitting there. It seemed so unproductive.

"Just… come here please!"

Deeks could hear that something was wrong solely by the sound of her voice, and he was quick to leave the bedroom where he was folding some laundry; laundry that was mostly Kensi's. It was his new favorite thing to do when he went over to her house, as Kensi had finally given him enough freedom to roam around as he pleased, cleaning up whatever he liked.

"Hey baby… wait, what's wrong?" His tone immediately changed as he walked in and leaned against the doorway, noting the tears he saw sparkling in Kensi's eyes as she stood alone in the center of the room.

There was a short-lived silence before she brought her eyes up from the floor to meet his, arms crossed across her chest.

"I mean… what are we doing Deeks?"

She didn't have to say anything in particular- Deeks knew exactly what she was referring to. "Callen was kidding earlier. He was just messing around with us- you know that. And you were laughing along the entire time."

"It just got me thinking." Kensi shrugged. "Maybe he's right. Well, no, he _is _right. This _is_ crazy."

Deeks allowed a heavy sigh to escape his lips- there was no use in stifling it. "I know."

"We've only been together a month."

"I know."

"And we're getting _married_."

"I know."

"And… wait, why do you keep saying I know?"

"Because I know all of that. I know it's crazy. I know it seems rushed. I know all of it."

Kensi lowered her voice to a whisper as a fearful tone crept in. "Please stop saying I know."

"Why?"

"Because it's freaking me out. Like, really freaking me out. So just stop it, okay?"

Kensi sat down on the bed, tears dangerously close to spilling over her eyelids and down her cheeks.

He hastily sat down next to her and began rubbing her back in gentle circles, heart tearing a little as he heard her voice crack. "I'm not trying to freak you out. I'm just saying that I agree. It is crazy, as you keep saying."

Kensi shuddered at his words. And then suddenly, there she was once more. Going through the gut wrenching fear of abandonment all over again. Kensi felt like he was backing out. Like he was running away, just as everyone else had done in the past- and it terrified her.

But Deeks wasn't finished speaking yet. He brought his face close to hers; close enough that she could feel his breath move the wisps of hair from around her face as he spoke. "But the craziness is what makes it all so magnificent."

Kensi's eyes shot up to look at him, silently asking him to say something more. Something else that would be reassuring; he easily took the bait.

"Kens- I want to marry you. Do you want to marry me?"

She just looked over at Deeks like he was a moron for even phrasing that as a question. "Yes."

"Well it's settled then. We're going to get married."

"But-"

"No buts," he whispered, placing one finger gently under her chin and pulling it upwards so her eyes met his. "You just said that you do want to marry me. So you can't push me away Kens. I'm not going to let you do it."

They sat in simple silence for a moment. Deeks ran his fingers through her hair, whispering sweet nothings into her ear as he sat back on the couch and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, Kensi."

"Really?" She asked, still completely enamored every time those words left his mouth.

Deeks chuckled. "I've told you that a million times. Like, _at least_ five times a day. How can you not know it already?"

Kensi sniffled, glad that she was able to get all that excess weight off her chest so they could return to happier moods.

"I know that that it's true," she said, grinning. "I just like to hear you say it."

He pulled her in even closer. "Well if that's the case, than I'll be sure to say it to you every single day, alright?"

"Okay," she replied simply, her voice breathy by that point.

Kensi felt utterly exhausted; sleep was tugging at her, attempting to drag her beneath it's surface by the small, even strokes of Deeks' fingers against her scalp.

"I love you," he whispered, practically speaking into her hair at that point.

"I love you too."

Kensi's eyes eventually fluttered closed as she slipped into oblivion, allowing the darkness to take her.


	19. Not Broken, Just Bent

**You have probably already read the first line of the story, so I'm not going to keep you for long up here. In this chapter, we sort of build-up backwards to a climax. Thank you all for being so amazing- I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please leave a review as always! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

In that moment, Kensi could hardly even breathe.

She sat on the floor of her bathroom, solely because it was cold and she thought the cool feeling of the tiles might stop the beads of perspiration from popping up around her hairline, which was exactly what was happening.

Missing her period- that was the first in a long, confusing chain of events that had occurred in that past week. She didn't flip out at first though, as that fact alone didn't necessarily mean the worst case scenario, but her mind was obviously quick to travel to that place.

But still, as one, then two, then eventually three more days passed by, she grew more and more nervous. Anxiety was not something she dealt with well, and just the uncertainty of it all was eating her up inside.

It wasn't just the growing unease alone which was building up inside of her that had Kensi feeling rather off. She'd felt a tad bit sick on Tuesday morning, but still tried her very best to attribute it to some bad sushi and hide it from her partner.

It wasn't until Wednesday though that everything came to a head. On that day, Kensi finally began to come to terms with what she believed _may_ have been happening inside of her.

Every light was too bright and seemed to make her head ache, she couldn't keep down her breakfast _or _her lunch, and all of that plus the added stress of the situation was quickly making her irritable to anyone and _everyone_ that surrounded her on a daily basis.

As Kensi and Deeks sat on his couch with Monty that previous Thursday night, he had actually brought up how strange she'd been acting.

"_Hey Kens… You alright?"_

"_What?" _She'd nervously whipped her head around to face him, her reaction far too defensive to be considered normal._ "Yeah. I'm fine."_

"_Fine?" _Deeks asked suspiciously- Kensi only used that word when she wasn't actually alright.

"_Don't worry about me, Deeks. I'm great."_

He eyed her suspiciously for just a moment before relaxing- he had no idea what she would have been stressed about, so he just dropped it.

Since that answer seemed to shut him up for awhile, Kensi tried her very best to resume normal behavior. But truthfully, she was flipping out on the inside.

Kensi decided that she wouldn't voice her suspicions to him until she knew something concrete, as there wasn't any point in alarming him if nothing was _actually_ going on.

But suddenly… it was Friday morning. Kensi was sitting on her bathroom floor, hyperventilating as she held a pregnancy stick in her left hand, tapping her foot as she awaited an answer to her rather vital question, hoping she wouldn't have to wait too much longer before something either life changing or life affirming popped up on the small, digital screen.

The test seemed to be exponentially slow in giving her the results, which just gave Kensi more time to overthink every little thing that had happened in the past week.

It should have all been so simple and easy to comprehend. She either received a yes or a no. But when she eventually looked back down to the screen after what seemed like hours of waiting for answers, Kensi's entire life as she knew it was altered in an instant.

A small gasp escaped her lips as she saw two solid parallel lines glaring up at her. Kensi hurriedly picked the box up off the ground beside her to read the instructions again, in what seemed like a frantic attempt to make sure that she hadn't misinterpreted anything.

Kensi hadn't misread a single thing though; she had her answer. The one that she'd been dying to know for the past week.

And she could hardly even begin to comprehend the fact that her suspicions had been true: she really was pregnant.

"Oh my god…"

Kensi dropped the stick to the ground and buried her head in her hands. She had no real words to describe how she was feeling, as she had absolutely no idea how she was _supposed _to feel.

What was she going to do? What was Deeks going to do? What would he say? How would they tell the team?

It was as if her subconscious began to panic before she even had the time to do it herself. She needed to get outdoors, or at least out of the confinements of her tiny bathroom.

Deeks wasn't over at her house, and for once she was actually glad. Kensi needed time to think, time to assess, and time to wonder how she was going to tell him that she was pregnant. Just having that one simple word flash through her mind was the most incredible yet completely terrifying feeling.

She desperately desired to breathe in some fresh air- or rather she just desired to _breathe _in general. It felt like every time she tried to inhale, the air just got caught somewhere between her lungs and her mouth.

She was going to be a mother. Deeks was going to be a father. And that idea alone was just adding to the pure, unbridled insanity of the past month and a half.

She placed the pregnancy test back on the counter, and then moved it down to a drawer when she decided it didn't seem concealed enough. Kensi threw on a pair of trainers in a matter of seconds, grabbing only her cell phone before barging out the front door.

As she walked down the street towards the beach, clad in yoga pants and a jersey sweatshirt, Kensi pondered how Deeks might react to it all. They had only ever talked about having kids in a joking sense, not in a _lets-plan-out-our-future _sense.

With all the drama that surrounded Deeks' relationship with his father, his acceptance of how he might be as a parent was entirely up in the air. Kensi was certain that he would be absolutely incredible, as she had already witnessed on multiple occasions how good he was with kids. What a natural he was around them, which was quite possibly due to the fact that most of the time, he still acted like a child himself.

As those thoughts weighed heavily on her mind, making little or no room for anything else, Kensi had barely even begun to think about herself in relation to it all.

She was going to be a mother- which was definitely, in her opinion, the most challenging job that existed. But in addition to that, it was also the job that she would have to manage along with the profession that she already supported.

They were two very different things; in one she had to be cold and stealthy, yet in the other she would need to be warm and kind. Polar opposites.

Kensi attempted to rid her mind of the cluttered pile of thoughts that was slowly accumulating when she finally reached the beach, which was still deserted at that early time of day.

She found the perfect little spot to sit, directly in the center between where the ocean tide began and where the sand ended. Her face glittered in the bright light, the sun illuminating the lighter highlights in her dark brown hair. Ripples and waves continuously flowed towards her, eventually breaking into foam as they crept up to her feet and then slid back to do it all over again.

Kensi loved it there, she truly did. Deeks had taught her that the best place to go to put your mind at ease was anywhere near the ocean- especially early in the morning, so you could watch the sunrise. It was peaceful and quiet, yet so large and open. The sweeping waters were always good for finding clarity, no matter what the situation.

Kensi stared out through misty eyes, watching as the colors made by the rising sun changed, growing more and more vivid with the passing time.

How she was going to tell him- now that was the real question she needed to ponder. The rest would come along later; there was no real use in worrying about the logistics of it all at such an early date.

She wasn't going to wait, or keep such a huge secret from him for any longer than she already had. It would just kill her to hide it from him, as Kensi was absolutely horrible at concealing anything from Deeks; he could read her like an open book.

Before she could think twice about it, Kensi pulled out her cell phone and shot Deeks a simple text.

_I'm at Ventura beach… meet me?_

It was early, but she knew that he would be awake, most likely going for a run before work. Kensi didn't have to wait long for a response though, as within a matter of seconds her phone dinged.

_On my way._

She grinned and her heart rate picked up speed as she brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear, placing the phone back in her pocket. That was just how Deeks was: selfless. At least when it came to her.

He didn't ask questions, he didn't need to know an exact reason why, he was just_ there_ when she needed him.

The sun hadn't yet risen to it's full height in the sky, so she just sat and patiently waited for Deeks, watching as the large glowing sphere rose slowly into the dull morning sky, casting sunbeams in every direction while it illuminated the pier.

Her engagement ring was simply dazzling in the light, and she was still staring it around five minutes later when Deeks pulled up to the beach in his car. He'd decided to drive rather than walk, as Kensi's request had sounded fairly pressing.

He had a full view of Kensi's back from his car, and watched her for a long moment as she sat in the middle of the beach, legs crisscrossed as she stared out across the water.

Having absolutely no idea what she had beckoned him there for was disconcerting, but he wasn't going to badger her with pointless and inane questions right off the bat. He just wanted to see her- to know that she was alright.

Deeks walked out slowly, and tapped his fiancé on the shoulder when she didn't immediately turn around to look at him as he approached; her mind was clearly elsewhere.

"Hey Kens."

He was evidently confused by her random, early morning request to meet, and taken aback even further when he saw her eyes glistening with fresh tears.

She didn't say a word, but instead just smiled half heartedly as Deeks sat down beside her.

"Are you alright?"

It wasn't really a question, as he already knew the answer.

Kensi furrowed her eyebrows, turning her head so she was looking back out over the calm waters. Deeks studied her face as he waited for a response, noting how the sun danced across her face, causing her eyes to appear as an even more vivid shade of brown than usual.

"Kind of."

That was the only answer she could give, as it was the only one that would be honest. She hadn't decided how she felt about the situation yet, as she was partially terrified and partially thrilled. It was a toss up.

"Is this about the whole Callen thing again? Because we talked about it and he really was joking-"

"No," she said, cutting him off midsentence, her tone gruff. "It's not that."

Deeks' expression morphed into something remotely resembling relief, but quickly turned to confusion once again.

"Then what is it?"

She opened her mouth to say something but hurriedly closed it, unable to find the words as her heart rate spiked.

Deeks thought about asking her the same question again, but saw her struggling and waited.

"It's just, um- I don't honestly know how to put this..."

She trailed off as more tears sprung up in her eyes.

"Babe?" Deeks whispered, peering his head around so he could try to catch a glimpse of her entire face, as he hoped it might give him some inkling as to what she was thinking.

"You know you can talk to me. Whatever it is, you can tell me and I'll be here. Just please say what's on your mind, because-"

"I'm pregnant, Deeks!" Kensi exclaimed finally, turning to face him, her tone nearly sounding angry as she tossed her hands up in the air, allowing them to fall back to the ground with a quiet thud.

Deeks' jaw dropped and he swallowed hard; keeping his eyes pinned on her.

"You're… really?"

She couldn't keep the tears at bay any longer. They welled up in her eyes and began rolling down her cheeks, Kensi making no fleeting attempt to subdue them or wipe them away as she usually did.

"I'm so, so… sorry, about all of this. I- I just can't believe-"

Deeks put one hand on Kensi's arm, calming her immediately. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. You're _sorry? _Why would you ever be _sorry _for something like this?"

She shrugged sheepishly, tears still pooling in her eyes. "I don't know. I just thought you'd be mad, or angry at me…"

Kensi's sentence trailed off as she watched Deeks' expression transform and change, his face stuck somewhere between happiness and sadness.

"Are you kidding? I'm not angry!" It almost hurt him that she would even _think_ something like that.

"How long have you known?"

She ran one hand through her hair. "For about an hour."

He just chuckled. "That long, huh?"

Deeks was being sarcastic, so Kensi assumed that was a good sign.

"So… you aren't upset with me?"

Deeks shook his head profusely. "No! This is amazing! Entirely crazy, yes. Borderline insane, absolutely. But it is still amazing. Really, really amazing."

His crooked smile was overpowering in its adorableness, and she couldn't help but break into a grin herself.

Kensi glanced to the ground, twirling her fingers in the sand. When she looked back up, Deeks seemed to be purely mystified as he stared out towards the water.

"I'm going to be a dad."

He was immediately overcome by the truth of his own words, so he had to say it again, this time with his voice lowered to a whisper as he gazed over at Kensi.

"I'm going to be a _dad_."

Kensi couldn't even muster up a single word- there was nothing more that needed to be said. Instead she just wiped her cheeks and relocated herself so she was sitting in front of Deeks, lying herself down on his lap. He ran one hand through her hair, brushing the wavy, stray pieces away from her eyes.

As soon as she was settled in comfortably, Deeks leaned forward and planted a lingering kiss to her forehead, swiping any remaining tears off her cheeks as he sat back up.

"I love you. This is going to be _great, _Kens_. _And that's a promise._"_


	20. All Too Well

**What else can I say up here? You guys are amazing. Seriously. It's crazy. :) Please review as always! I love your faces! **

**-Hazel**

******P.S. I am compiling a list of baby names, and I want you guys to help me choose! Either leave a name with your review, or shoot me a PM! Baby boy **_**and **_**girl names please- I haven't decided on anything just yet! :)**

* * *

"So- how are we going to tell them?" Deeks asked once they had arrived back at Kensi's house, the clock still set in the wee hours of the morning.

"Tell who?"

Kensi was leaned on Deeks' chest, one hand wrapped around his back, the other mindlessly picking at the ends of her hair as they relaxed together on her couch.

Neither Kensi nor Deeks was at all in a rush that morning, as they had just completed a case the day before, so any sort of an intense urgency to arrive at work on time didn't seem necessary or important in the slightest.

All Kensi wanted to do was relax, and just _breathe. _That morning, as well as the previous week had been stressful enough within itself; she just wanted to relish in the feeling of weightlessness that was ultimately lingering within her chest.

"Um… I'm talking about telling the team." It seemed like a somewhat obvious answer, so he phrased it in that way.

Kensi didn't seem too alarmed by his question; she just continued to pluck at the ends of her hair. "I don't know- maybe we can have dinner tonight? Tell them then?"

He wasn't convinced of how truthful her answer really was. "Do you honestly think you're going to be able to get through the entire day _without _telling them first?"

Deeks couldn't see Kensi's face, but a shrug was evident in her voice. "Well, maybe…"

"So that's a no."

"Watch your mouth Martin Deeks- I'm a good secret keeper."

"Ha! You couldn't even wait until we got to work to tell me."

"That's completely different."

"How?"

He sounded so moronic sometimes, but Kensi knew he did it solely to push her buttons, so she let him get away with it.

"Well… for starters, telling your fiancé that you are pregnant with their child isn't exactly a work conversation. And it's your kid, so I think you play a much bigger part in all of this than they do."

"Touché."

He spoke the words with a soft sincerity, chuckling as he leaned forward just an inch to kiss the top of her head. "Honestly though Kens- I think we're going to have to tell them really soon."

Once again- she simply shrugged. "We can just see how it all plays out."

Deeks knew exactly what she meant by that. "So… walk into work and just make it so insanely obvious that you're pregnant, they'll _have _to guess at it, right? Rub your stomach, yell that you want pickles and ice cream, vomit a few times, randomly start crying from the hormones-"

"Hey!" Kensi exclaimed, laughing and lightly punching him in the side. "Would that be such a bad thing?"

"No Fern, not at all," he said, grinning and quietly laughing to himself. Kensi couldn't see his face, but she could still feel his chest faintly rise and lower beneath her cheek.

"What is it?" She hadn't caught the joke, if there really was one.

"This is just crazy. And I can't wait to see Callen's face- especially after our little chat last week. It's going to be so awesome."

"You take pleasure in watching him freak out, don't you?"

He didn't even try to deny it, not even for a second. "Yes. Absolutely."

"You know, Sam has seemed oddly calm about all of this," Deeks added when she didn't say anything more.

"Yeah… on the surface."

"What do you mean? Do ya think that inside he wants to kill me or something?"

Kensi shrugged, continuing to pick at her split ends.

"A shrug? Now that's a bad sign."

"Look, Deeks-" Kensi sat up, turning herself so she was facing Deeks head on. "-I just think he's protective."

"Yeah, we established that pretty early on in our relationship. You know, that one time when he tried to kill me. Nothing big."

"Really? Again, with the sarcasm."

"What? It's how I communicate when I am nervous. You know that Kens- hell, you practically invented it."

She narrowed her eyes to slits, only a hint of tease left in her voice. "I would shut up now if I were you."

Deeks wasn't alarmed though- if anything he was enjoying it. "And why is that?"

She sighed, feigning annoyance that she had to practically spell it out for him. "I am your pregnant, extremely hormonal soon-to-be wife, who has had a rather stressful morning, as well as a hellish past week. I haven't kept hardly anything down for days, I am completely and utterly exhausted, except luckily for me the day hasn't even begun."

She finished, grinning a strained, toothless smile. "Enough?"

She had been joking, but Kensi's words still managed to sound a warning bell inside of Deeks.

"Are you sure you are okay? Is all that normal?"

His concern was sweet, but still highly unnecessary. "Yeah, It's normal. There's a reason why they call it morning sickness babe… it's not fun."

"Oh, right."

Kensi nodded and stood up to leave. "We need to get to work- I'm gonna go get dressed."

Deeks smiled, his expression becoming rather coy. "Carpool?"

She would play along and be her sweet, adoring self for his sake. "Why would we do it any other way?"

* * *

Even in the car on the way to work, their conversation always drifted back to their newly discovered favorite topic of choice.

"So what do you want it to be?" Deeks asked as he drove, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Huh?" Kensi wasn't easily catching on; her mind was elsewhere as she stared out the car window.

"I'm talking about the gender. Do you want a boy or a girl?"

She was taken aback by his question, and her expression clearly reflected that. "I honestly haven't thought about it that much yet."

Deeks clearly had the idea on his mind, so she prompted him with what seemed to be the next logical question.

"What do_ you _want it to be?"

His response came immediately, along with a mystified gaze that traveled out the front windshield as he spoke. "I'll be happy with whatever, you know that, but… I- I really hope it's a girl."

His answer undoubtedly took her by surprise. "_A girl? _Why?_"_

He just shrugged. "I haven't had the best luck in the past with father-son relationships, and I thought a change might be good."

"I don't know Deeks, girls are scary. Especially teenagers- hormones, boyfriends… are you sure you can handle all that?"

Deeks chuckled. "I think you may be getting ahead of yourself here. You don't even have a baby bump yet."

Kensi automatically looked down to her stomach, running one hand across its flat surface. "Yeah… I guess you're right."

He sighed and grabbed her hand from the median, keeping his eyes glued to the road the entire time.

"No matter what happens, we'll just figure it out as we go."

* * *

If she hadn't known it before, than Kensi definitely figured out once they got to work that there wasn't going to be a very long waiting period before the team found out about their little secret.

This was partially due to the fact that she constantly looked green from the morning sickness, and partially because Kensi had such a hard time keeping something so huge bottled up inside.

As they said their casual morning greetings and walked over to sit down at their desks, Deeks immediately shot her a weary gaze- silently asking her if she was going to tell the team then or wait until a later date, possibly in a more appropriate setting. He was leaving it entirely up to her though, and would just tag along with whatever she decided.

Kensi took a deep breath, contemplating her options before she spoke.

"Hey guys?"

Both Callen and Sam popped their heads up to look at Kensi, while Deeks just swallowed hard, realizing what she was doing and mentally preparing himself for what he was sure would be a tricky conversation.

"Yeah?"

Callen and Sam both leaned back in their chairs when they saw Kensi's face- they could tell almost instantaneously that she had something significant to say.

"Deeks and I have, um… something to tell you."

"Sounds serious," Sam said, scratching the back of his head as his eyes zipped back and forth from Kensi to Deeks.

"Yeah. I mean, it is… I guess."

There was a short silence as everyone just stared at Kensi, waiting for her to add something more. She just looked stuck, as if she couldn't force the words that were sitting on the tip of her tongue to come out of her own mouth.

Callen finally jumped in after Kensi failed to fill the silence. "It can't be _that _bad. I don't think anything you say can really shock us at this point."

"Well… you won't believe this. That's how crazy it is."

He wasn't exactly believing her. "You know, I think the bar on unbelievable is pretty high right now. First grade crush becomes partner, then boyfriend, then fiancé- and the last two things happened within one month. You guys are like a romantic comedy, except rather than watching you from afar on my TV and having the pleasure of changing the channel whenever I please, you two are in my life nearly one hundred percent of the time. It's nauseating, yet somehow still oddly intriguing."

Deeks didn't quite know how to respond to that. "Thanks… I think."

The conversation was swiftly turned back to focus on Kensi, all eyes glued to her.

"Just spit it out already! Lemme guess- you're pregnant."

Callen had said the comment in a completely joking sense, immediately expecting Kensi to retaliate with some quick remark, asking if he really thought she looked that out of shape.

But that witty rebuttal never came. The room was dead silent as Kensi's expression slowly morphed into a shy smile, freezing before she slowly raised her shoulders up to her ears, uncertain of how else to retort.

Sam and Callen's eyes immediately widened, and Kensi could practically see the blood drain from Deeks' face as he awaited their reaction.

"Really?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Deeks added quietly, chiming in for the first time.

"No… _really _though_?"_

"Um- _yes_." They didn't seem to be taking Kensi at her word, and it was quickly making her irritable.

She leaned in just slightly, lowering her voice down to a whisper. "Guys… I'm pregnant."

It was the first time she'd actually said that phrase aloud to anyone who wasn't Deeks, and the shock of hearing those words exit her mouth alone was nearly too much to handle.

"I can't believe it. I mean I _can, _but… geez."

The idea that two of his team members were getting married was almost too much to digest- but this was just on an entirely different level of insanity.

Kensi was sitting forward in her chair as Callen spoke, both elbows on the desk as she tensely bit her thumbnail. The entire situation was just nerve-racking; Kensi's heart was racing so fast she felt like it might lurch out of her chest at any moment.

"So... is this a good thing?" Callen wanted to gage their reaction before giving his.

Kensi smiled, looking over to her partner for confirmation. "I don't want to speak for Deeks, but-"

"We're excited."

His grin was so wide and goofy as he completed her sentence; it was fairly obvious that Deeks shared the same feelings as she did. Kensi caught his eye the minute the words escaped his mouth, a rather bewildered look written plainly across her face.

_She_ was the pregnant one, yet somehow Deeks seemed to be even glowing more than she was over the whole ordeal. His blue eyes were clear, his smile bright.

Deeks just seemed happy, which in return made her happy. That's the thing about soul mates: when your other half is in a good mood, you can't help but feel the exact same way yourself.

"Well if that's the case… then I'm happy for you guys."

"Me too," Sam chimed in, a gruff smile gracing his face as he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed firmly against his chest.

Kensi grinned and looked down to the cluttered surface of her desk- she knew that the guys would support her no matter what, but it still felt so good to hear them say it aloud.

Deeks on the other hand was still stunned by their acceptance, and not fully buying it. The guys had absolutely no reason to go soft on him- and of all the times to try acting kind, why would they start with such an outlandish revelation?

"You're really okay with all of this?"

Callen was the first to speak. "I mean… what are we going to say? Are _you _guys happy about this?"

Deeks glanced to Kensi before speaking for the both of them. "Yes. It was unexpected… but still, yes."

"Good," Sam said with a grin, finally throwing his outlook on the situation into the mix. "Then so are we."


	21. Clarity

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews, follows, favorites and PMs! You guys are wonderful:) **

**Here are the baby names I have so far- I have taken all the names that have been suggested to me, and complied them together into a list! Tell me your favorites for each gender:)**

**GIRL: **

**-Densi (Yes, that name was suggested)**

**- Andie**

**- Rose**

**- Rosalie**

**- Rosie**

**- Kate**

**- Eleanor**

**- McKayla**

**- Olivia**

**- Grace**

**BOY: **

**- Logan **

**- Daniel **

**- Christopher**

**- Lucas**

**- Donald**

**- Ryan**

**- Justin**

**:)**

* * *

"Oh my _god, _Deeks… this is just horrible," Kensi moaned as she crouched on the ground, buckled forward at the waist and leaning over a toilet in the ladies restroom at OSP.

There wasn't a large number of female agents who worked at NCIS, so Deeks hadn't thought twice about running after Kensi when she randomly launched herself out of her desk and sprinted out of the room, despite Sam and Callen telling him to just _'let her go'_. Deeks didn't do well with leaving her alone; he never had.

He had tightly latched the door shut behind the two of them, and in that very moment he was crouching on the ground beside his partner, rubbing her back in gentle circles.

"Shhh, babe. It's okay. Just breathe."

Deeks wasn't sure what else he was supposed to do aside from try his best to comfort her, so he did just that. Morning sickness was just something that went along with being pregnant- but that didn't mean he had to like it. Watching Kensi in pain was one of the things he loathed most in life.

She heaved a few deep breaths before collapsing back against the stall door, exhausted and out of breath.

He noticed that she was sweating profusely, so Deeks quickly stood up and grabbed a paper towel from beside the sink, wetting it with ice cold water before pressing it against Kensi's toasty forehead.

"Better?"

She smiled half-heartedly and nodded, taking the damp rag from his hand and holding it against her own face.

"Yeah. Better."

Deeks stared at her for a long moment before speaking; he felt that it was the right time to finally let something off his chest. "I know that you don't want to hear it… but you just can't do field work like this. Not now. Not after everything that's happened."

Kensi's expression immediately altered; abruptly morphing in a matter of seconds from a look of sweet vulnerability to annoyed supremacy.

"What are you talking about?"

Deeks exhaled slowly; he was sure that she wouldn't react too well to what he was about to say.

"Kens… you're a liability now."

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "I'm a _liability?_ I'm going to pretend that you didn't just say that to me. You're _very_ lucky that you're good looking, otherwise you'd get what's coming your way…"

Deeks couldn't help but roll his eyes, ignoring her last remark for the moment- he'd hold off on mentioning that until later. "Look, you know what I mean. It's not just for your safety anymore. I know that once we tell Hetty, she'll agree with us. There are two lives at stake here, and we really can't afford for someone to be taking a shot at you right now."

She understood where he was coming from, but that didn't mean she had to like it.

"I get it Deeks… I really do. You know how much I hate deskwork though. It's just so…"

"Boring?"

"Yeah. Really, really boring."

Kensi held out the paper towel that had quickly grown warm, allowing him to effortlessly toss it into the garbage can from where he sat on the ground.

"We'll just try to make the best out of it."

Kensi didn't share his views, as she couldn't picture how anything even mildly interesting might possibly come out of sitting in a desk chair for the next eight and a half months.

"And how do you propose we do that?"

He shrugged, his smile becoming coy once again.

"I don't know… we can have you work up in ops with Nell and Eric, you can put some of your lip reading skills to the test, I'll get you some super sexy nerd glasses, you can wear a cool ear piece thingy, and-"

Deeks' ramblings seemed to brighten Kensi's rather dull mood, as she smiled and exhaled another deep breath, relaxing her head back against the wall. "You know what? I find it alarming how much you've thought you've put into this."

Despite what she said, Deeks still looked to be somewhat pleased with himself. "What can I say? I'm a man with a wild imagination."

"Or a creep."

"Well… whichever comes first."

She giggled and ran one hand through her hair. "This is gonna be fine."

For once Kensi wasn't asking for confirmation when she spoke those words, she was just _saying_ them. Because for once, she knew that they were true.

Deeks still decided to do what he did best and reassure her; he just _wanted_ to. More for his sake than her own.

"You're right. It _is _going to be fine. And I promise to be your superhero through _all_ of this… but not Flash, because neither one of us would enjoy me being that fast."

Though she tried to stifle it, Kensi let out a howling laugh that could have probably been heard by Sam and Callen all the way out in the bullpen.

"You're totally right. That wouldn't be good at all."

Her newly sarcastic attitude wasn't lost on him, and Deeks swiftly broke into an even bigger smile.

"I feel better now, Deeks," Kensi said, pushing her hair behind her ears and wiping her forehead. "We can go back out."

"You sure about that?"

He wasn't convinced, and didn't want to see her suddenly break into a sprint for the restroom once again.

"Don't worry about me Deeks… I'll be fine."

He nodded, grabbing Kensi's hand and pulling her up to her feet.

"So babe... you really think I'm good looking?"

Kensi moaned and rolled her eyes, but Deeks still managed to catch the smile that was tugging at the corners of her lips before she turned her back to him.

"Come on Deeks. Let's go."

* * *

Kensi and Deeks were arguing. Not for any reason in particular; by that point they were basically arguing about_ why_ they were arguing in the first place. It didn't come as much of a surprise to either one of them; they did it rather often. They had done it for years really- before they were even a couple.

Kensi believed the spat may have originated from something having to do with the TV remote, but by that point she wasn't even entirely sure herself. All she knew was that Deeks had said something snarky, she'd retaliated, and it all went downhill from there.

"… So you're really going to tell me that I am getting mad for no reason here, Deeks?"

Their argument obviously wasn't too heated, as Deeks was simply standing across the room from her, hands in his pockets as he spoke calmly. "Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying."

Just the fact that he was so easily able to keep his emotions in check aggravated her far more than it should have, and made her even more annoyed than she already was, as Kensi didn't share the same luxury.

"You know what? You started this." That was the only brilliant retaliation she could come up with, and in the moment it sounded, at the very least, to be a descent comeback.

Deeks on the other hand just couldn't stifle the laugh that was on the tip of his tongue, wanting to escape his lips. "Seriously? Are we five year olds now?"

"You were rude. _You_ tried to change the channel while I was watching Top Model."

He widened his eyes and pointed helplessly at the TV. "Babe! The game's on!"

Kensi immediately shot him a look as she folded her arms firmly across her chest. They were only engaged, yet the two of them already sounded like an old married couple.

"Still… I was in the middle of watching an episode."

"Yeah- for like the billionth time! It was a rerun! And they play that marathon nearly every day on Lifetime. I know this, because we end up watching it nearly _every day._"

She wasn't giving in that easily. "But it was an elimination, and Tyra made a girl cry-"

He chuckled. "Isn't that what happens in every episode?"

Anger was flaring up inside of her with each passing witty remark, and Kensi was feeling more and more like the crazy, hormonal, pregnant lady by the minute. She didn't like it.

Despite Kensi looking rather sour, a grin washed over Deeks' face, after it seemed like some type of a lightbulb went off in his head. He strolled out of the living room without another word, making his way quickly into his bedroom.

Kensi just stood there, too stunned by his sudden disappearance to go after him.

"We weren't finished talking Deeks! You don't just get up and leave in the middle of a conversation! It really is like living with a toddler. And I can't believe- wait, what are you…"

She trailed off and giggled, instantly dropping her angry facade when he sauntered back into the room, his head adorning an old football helmet- mask and everything.

"See, now we can talk. I'm fully prepared. Is it bad that I need protection from my own fiancé? I'm not sure. Still- come at me Badass Blye, I can handle it."

Happy, glittery tears flooded into Kensi's eyes, immediately clouding her field of vision. She couldn't tell if they were a result of the surge of hormones that were newly flowing through her body, or if it was just Deeks being, well, _Deeks_.

Kensi was certain it was the latter, but she wouldn't give any of that away to him, as it wasn't really need-to-know information.

"You're a funny guy, you know that?" Kensi said, discreetly dabbing at her eyes and forgetting about their argument entirely, as it had been pointless in the first place.

"Yeah, I know," Deeks replied, looking quite pleased with himself as he pulled the helmet off his head, tossing it on the couch and closing the gap between them in a split second, pressing his lips to hers.

When they eventually released, as reluctant as it was, Deeks gently flicked a tear off of Kensi's cheek and left his hand to rest there on her face.

"I'm sorry Kens. Let's not fight, okay?"

Kensi just nodded; sometimes he was so massively adorable, she really couldn't do anything other than practically melt beneath his touch.

Deeks chuckled at their peculiar situation: she certainly wasn't normally that susceptible to his jokes, and Kensi rarely teared up over such a funny little thing like what he'd just pulled off.

"You good Kens?"

She wiped her eyes with the end of her sleeve. "It's the hormones."

He raised his eyebrows almost instantaneously. "You sure?"

Kensi was standing by her story. "It is!"

Deeks laughed as he pulled her in for a tight hug, gently pressing her face in to rest against his chest.

She giggled as well, wrapping both arms tightly around his back- she never wanted to let go.

"You know Deeks, I'm going to kill you one of these days. We're gonna be on an episode of _Snapped _or something."

He snorted. "No, we're aren't."

"And why is that?"

"Because you can't live without me."

She failed to actually add any sort of hesitation before she spoke, which was normally inserted into the conversation for dramatic effect. "Touche."

Deeks pulled Kensi back so he could see her face. "Seriously? No sarcastic rebuttal? You're just going to agree with me?"

She shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "Yeah… because I _can't_ live without you. That's why I'm marrying you- _moron_."

Kensi winked and pulled herself out of his arms, spinning around and walking towards the bedroom before he could get another word in.

"That was sweet, you know, but I think the last bit ruined it!" Deeks yelled out after her, chuckling and shaking his head. No matter how clever he was, she somehow always managed to get the last word.

Kensi wasn't facing him, but Deeks could still hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah, yeah, I know."


	22. Beginning Again

**Thanks for all of the baby name suggestions! I think I've made my decision on name _and _gender:) I hope you all enjoy this new chapter, and please review as always! I love you guys! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Deeks?" Kensi called out from across the bullpen, her tone uneasy and unsettling to her partner, who was sitting at his desk doing paperwork.

"Yeah?" He replied simply, looking up and immediately dropping the papers from his hands as he read the serious expression that was written plainly across her face.

Deeks had learned to not even bother asking _'what's up?' _before acknowledging her question, as it was pointless. If she needed him, he was listening, no questions asked.

There was nobody else in the room with them- Callen and Sam had both left for a stakeout, and Nell and Eric were nowhere to be found. For that day though, Deeks had opted to stay behind with his partner. He wouldn't have that option forever, but for the moment Hetty was still giving him the choice.

Kensi didn't respond immediately to his short little question, but instead just held his gaze.

That prompted yet another query from her partner. "You… okay?"

She furrowed her brow looked down to her lap, then glanced back up and motioned for him to come over. Deeks dropped his pen and stood up instantly, walking directly to her side rather than standing in front of her desk.

Kensi still had no words, so she just pointed to her stomach, lifting up the bottom of her loose fitting jersey sweatshirt to reveal a tighter cotton tee shirt, one that showed off her small, but still newly pronounced, baby bump.

There was a slight bulge there, one that Kensi hadn't noticed until that very moment.

Deeks' eyes widened. "Whoa."

She looked up and nodded in agreement. "Yeah."

"This is crazy."

Kensi giggled. "You've said that a lot in the past month and a half."

He dropped down to his knees, eyes still glued to her belly. "Only because it's true."

She chuckled, tilting her head over to one shoulder. "I guess."

"So this is like… _real _now."

"Yeah, it is."

"You're pregnant."

"Yes, I am."

"This is crazy."

"Does that really need to be said again?" She asked, the sound of her laugh forcing his eyes to come up and meet with hers.

Deeks abruptly stood up without another word though, running back over to his desk. Kensi was completely caught off guard as her eyes shot around the room, frantically looking for what could have made him squirm.

"_What happened?" _She merely mouthed to Deeks once he was seated at his desk again.

He turned his head slightly and peered out behind her before swiftly snatching his cell phone off of his desk and furiously typing away. Kensi quickly got the hint and did the exact same.

A message almost instantaneously popped up on her screen.

_I think Hetty is onto us. She was looking our way just a minute ago. DON'T TURN AROUND!_

She giggled at his use of all capital letters, and just rolled her eyes before typing her short response and hitting send.

_We should tell her. Even though she probably already knows… Hetty is a ninja._

Kensi watched Deeks' expression change from across the room as he read her text.

_Right now? _

She didn't even have to send him a message: she could say her answer aloud.

"Yes Deeks. Now."

He reluctantly nodded before slipping out of his chair, meeting Kensi in the small space between their desks.

"You ready?" She asked, an overly enthusiastic smile plastered to her face.

His shoudlers were slouched, and he looked like a nervous little kid before being sent to the principal's office.

"No."

Kensi just chuckled, reaching down and grabbing her partner's hand. "Good. Now let's just get this over with."

They slowly approached Hetty's desk, unsure of how to begin such a consequential conversation.

"Um… Hetty?" Kensi asked, pulling along a reluctant Deeks as she awkwardly began walking up the few short steps to enter their boss's office.

Their fearless leader glanced up from her desk, looking to be in a pleasant mood as usual. "Yes?"

"Can we talk to you for a minute?"

Hetty's smile only grew. "Of course! Please, take a seat!"

They easily sunk into the chairs across from her, Deeks remaining silent the entire time, which was a fairly rare occurrence for him.

"What can I do for you two?"

Kensi looked to her partner, who just stared back at her with a blank gaze. Obviously she was going to be the one who spoke for the both of them.

"Well, um… we have something we need to tell you."

Hetty didn't look surprised, but rather relaxed as she leaned back in her chair, picking up a cup of tea from the wooden surface of her desk.

"Alright. But can I offer either one of you a cup of tea before you begin?"

"I'm good, thanks," Deeks said, speaking for the first time.

"No, thank you," Kensi chimed in, smiling sweetly.

"Are you sure Ms. Blye?" Hetty raised her cup of tea. "This is from the rooibos plant, which is grown in a small area in the region of the Western Cape province of South Africa. It's antioxidants do a great deal for those that are, you know, _expecting_."

Kensi's heart rate instantaneously picked up speed, which she knew had to be outwardly visible to both Deeks and Hetty.

She decided that playing dumb was the safest option, so it was the one that she chose. "Expecting what?"

Hetty leaned forward over her desk, as if she was about to tell a secret. "Why, a baby of course!"

Kensi's face turned ashen.

"But how…" she asked dazedly, her head spinning and her eyes darting over to Deeks, whose face already looked as if every ounce of blood had been drained out of it.

"Ms. Blye!" Hetty exclaimed with a laugh, reaching one hand out across her desk towards Kensi and Deeks. "I saw you sprinting towards the restroom the other day- it doesn't take a genius to put all the pieces together!"

Deeks was still floored, so he resorted to cracking jokes. "But... you _are _a genius."

"Even then, Mr. Deeks. Even then."

Her response had been unexpected, but it was still the best retort they could have hoped for. Kensi didn't have to actually say the words _I'm pregnant_ aloud to Hetty, and her reaction certainly seemed to be one of a happy nature.

"Well, I am guessing that is what you two wanted to tell me?"

Kensi and Deeks both kept their mouths clamped shut and just nodded profusely.

"So, Ms. Blye… I'm assuming you want that cup of tea now?"

* * *

After their somewhat eventful morning, Kensi and Deeks had wasted no time in running out the door to grab lunch.

Italian food was on the menu for that particular day, as Kensi's strong love connection with pizza just couldn't be severed, and had only appeared to grow stronger with her pregnancy.

So they sat together, crisscrossed with their legs up on the couch beside their desk clump, chatting and eating happily. Kensi was finally able to relax and speak freely, which felt so much better than constantly having to bite her tongue in the hopes that she wouldn't say something to give away their rather sizeable secret.

She felt so much better after talking to Hetty: it meant that nearly everyone had been told about the pregnancy. The only people left were Nell and her mother, but she was putting the latter on the back burner for a little while.

Kensi had a somewhat strong inkling that Julia would be nothing other than extremely supportive and thrilled by the news, so it just didn't seem necessary to cause herself further stress by rushing to tell her mom. After Kensi called her regarding the engagement, the woman had already flipped out enough, so she believed that was enough big news for one month.

Thoughts about weddings and babies swarmed around in Kensi's mind as she took a massive bite of pizza, not even waiting until she had fully swallowed to start speaking again.

"So Deeks," she said, keeping her voice hushed. "When are we gonna, ya know…"

He raised his eyebrows, not catching onto her train of thought. "Excuse me?"

"Get married! The wedding! Christ, pull your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about our _wedding_, Deeks."

"A few weeks ago this didn't seem at all urgent to you," he replied, taking another bite of pizza. "_Some people stay engaged for two years,_ remember?"

He was teasing her, and Kensi couldn't help but roll her eyes. "That was… then. Things are a bit different now."

"How?"

Kensi couldn't tell if he was pretending to be dumb or actually _being _dumb, so she just played along all the same, simply moving her plate of pizza into one hand and pointing at her stomach.

"Oh… right."

"I'm gonna be _massive _before we know it Deeks, and I just think we should be married before he, or she, comes."

His grin grew into a goofy smile. "You know babe, I've always wanted a shotgun wedding."

"Ugh. Shut up," she said, chuckling and reaching one foot out to kick him on the couch. "I just think that it should happen sooner than later. We don't need a huge ceremony or anything… something simple."

"Okay… let's do it," Deeks said, shrugging and taking another bite of pizza, speaking nonchalantly.

She snorted with laughter. "When?"

"I don't know, yesterday?"

He was being quite charming, she couldn't deny it. Actually, over the years she had become rather good at doing exactly that, and pretending like she didn't catch the sweet implication that was hidden within his sarcastic sentence.

"I'm being serious here, Deeks."

"Fine. Then… how about today?"

Kensi swallowed down the rest of her food quickly, looking back up to him with wide eyes. "What?! Get married _today_? Are you insane?"

"No."

He said that single word with such a smug certainty that Kensi couldn't help but become suspicious.

"Is there something you want to tell me here, Deeks?"

"Look downstairs," he said simply, a slight twinkle in his eye as he spoke.

Kensi furrowed her eyebrows together and immediately shot up from the couch, dropping her plate of pizza to the small coffee table in front of her before running towards the staircase that led to the gym.

She sprinted downstairs, jumping down two steps at a time. When Kensi walked in her pace slowed though and she immediately gasped, her jaw dropping at the sight before her.

Any exercise equipment that had been occupying the space before was long gone, rows of white chairs taking their place. The entire room was white, actually- beautifully draped linens lined the walls, disguising the space to make it look anything _but _a typical gym. A long and perfectly simple white carpet filled the space between the seats, lined with white rose petals and candles in sconces, just waiting to be lit. At the end of it all was a small little alter, quaint and pristine, just the way she'd always imagined it. The room was simply stunning.

Kensi spun around as she heard footsteps approaching her. It was Deeks, who stood casually leaned up against the wall, arms folded across his chest and a sly grin gracing his face.

"Did you do this?" Her voice was merely a low and shaky whisper.

He just shrugged, incredibly nonchalant about it all. "Along with quite a few other people… yeah."

She shook her head frantically, eyes glued to the floor in blank amazement. "How did you... But- but what about-"

"It's all taken care of. Your bestie Nell was very eager to help me out with all of this. I'd give her a gold star for wedding planning."

By that point she was waving her hands around in front of her face, trying to force some sort of an intelligible sentence to come out of her mouth. "How did you, um-"

"Know that you would love all of this?"

He was being smug, but she still couldn't help but find it adorable, so Kensi just nodded with a blank stare. By that point, she was truly just focusing on breathing normally.

"Well… I knew you wouldn't want a huge wedding, and I knew you'd want to get married before you were really, _really _pregnant… so I talked to Nell and Hetty last week, and we just sort of threw all this together. I was going to tell you at some point today, but luckily for me you brought up the topic of conversation."

He tried to make it sound so simple- but Kensi didn't believe him for a single minute. Nothing, especially putting together a wedding venue at the last minute, was as easy as he made it out to be.

"But... did you tell Nell I'm-"

"No. I haven't told Nell that you're pregnant yet. I knew you'd want to do that yourself."

Kensi just couldn't believe it; he really had thought of _everything. _

Deeks took two steps towards his misty eyed fiancé, who looked to be frozen in time. She was far too taken aback to say or do anything more than just stand there, her breathing still staggered.

He planted a kiss on her forehead, brushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear before walking away, a teasing tone seeping back into his voice.

"I'll meet you at the alter, princess."


	23. At the Alter

**Prepare yourselves: it's the wedding chapter! (And it's _long...) _This isn't the end though- no, we are far from it! How far I am not yet sure, but there is definitely more to tell. Please review as always!**

**-Hazel**

**P.S. I used some of the same basic wedding vows from my story **_**Sideways- **_**I ****just thought that I'd let ya'll know! The vows that they wrote themselves are all new though:)**

* * *

Within five minutes of speaking to Deeks down in the gym, Kensi had already been whisked away to the wardrobe section of OSP by Nell, who was more than ready to work her magic on Kensi in preparation for the big day.

That explained where Nell and Eric had disappeared to all day- they'd been concocting and getting everything in order for Kensi and Deeks, so basically all they had to do was show up for the wedding.

"I can't believe this. Really. You are my insane best friend who plans a wedding for me behind my back," Kensi said, shaking her head and still hardly believing those words as they exited her own mouth. She was sitting on a stool as her friend hovered about her, chatting as Nell attempted to do the bride-to-be's makeup.

"You can't talk Kensi. You're making this really difficult."

Kensi sighed and pouted as she slumped back down in the chair, folding her arms across her chest. "Fine. But I still want you to talk."

Nell chuckled and pulled out a container of bright pink blush, swirling her powder brush around in it before dusting it across Kensi's cheeks. "Well… Deeks came to me and asked if I would help him out, so I did. And now here we are."

Kensi just smiled and nodded- she wasn't supposed to be speaking.

"What's the rush anyways though? I didn't ask him any questions, but I was still curious. I mean, you guys just got engaged like 2 weeks ago!"

Kensi's heart lurched into her throat- in all the mounting chaos of that day she'd failed to remember the one thing that was still looming over her head: she had to tell Nell the big news. She just had to.

Kensi lifted one hand up towards her face, gently pushing the powder brush away so she could speak without the potential of ruining her makeup.

"There is a reason why we wanted to get married sooner than later," Kensi said, grinning despite the sudden rise in her heart rate.

Nell furrowed her eyebrows and twisted her head over to one side, taking a step back as she tried to get a read on what Kensi could possibly mean by that statement. She found her answer rather swiftly though, as Kensi simply pointed one finger towards her abdomen, not breaking eye contact with Nell for even a second.

She gasped, one hand immediately flying up to cover her mouth, the makeup brush she'd held only one moment earlier flying towards the floor.

"No way."

"Yup."

"Seriously?"

"Totally."

"But… really?"

Kensi just giggled and nodded, enjoying every second of her friend's crazy reaction.

"Yes. Really."

Nell couldn't help but start squealing and laughing in delight, fully jumping up and down before wrapping both her arms around Kensi, enveloping her in a huge hug.

"KENSI! You're pregnant? This. Is. Amazing!"

Kensi just chuckled, suffocating under Nell's strong grip. "Thanks. Maybe- um- release?"

"Oh. Right. Of course."

She quickly pulled back, still grinning as she wiped a single teardrop from the corner of her eye.

"Are you_ crying_?" Kensi asked, her raised tone voicing her visible feelings of utter disbelief at her friend's reaction.

"Yes! Of course I'm crying! Why do you have to say it like _that_? You are getting married in just a few hours to the guy that I always said you'd end up with, and now I know that you are also pregnant with his child! How else should I be reacting?!"

Nell definitely had Kensi laughing at that point, tearing up just the tiniest bit herself.

"Ugh- don't _cry _Kensi! Your mom is going to be here any minute, and she will kill me if your makeup is all smudged."

Kensi's eyes immediately widened as she glanced down to the floor, wincing and burying her head in her hands.

"Shoot, shoot, shoot…"

"What's wrong?" Nell asked, clearly alarmed.

Kensi stayed slouched over in the chair, her posture suffering as she brought her head back up to look at Nell. "She doesn't know."

Nell didn't catch on as quickly as she should have. "…that you're engaged?"

"Of course she knows _that_. It's the other thing that she doesn't know."

Nell immediately raised one eyebrow. "Oh… that's not so good."

Kensi sprung up out of the chair, her eyes darting around as she felt a hint of panic begin to creep into her voice. She had promised herself that she would never turn into bridezilla, but she was quickly finding that it was difficult not to. There was just so much stuff to do, and so little time.

"When is she coming? And how is she getting here? I didn't actually think that we could give out the address of this place to anyone. I need to tell her about the baby before the ceremony too, and… OH MY GOD I don't have a wedding dress! I also have to write my vows! What the hell is going on? This is crazy! I am a hormonal, insane pregnant woman who didn't realize that she would be getting married today, but suddenly I am and it's just-"

"Kensi!" Nell exclaimed, grabbing her friend by the shoulders in order to steady her bobbing head. "Just… breathe, okay? Sit down, and I'll explain everything."

Kensi nodded and did as she was told, trying her very best to actually take a deep breath and relax slightly as she sunk back down into the chair.

"Look- your mom is on her way here now with Sam and Callen; they went to go pick her up. She has known that this was going to happen for a few days as well, so it isn't a huge surprise. When she gets here you will tell her that you are pregnant, and everything will be fine. I am sure she'll be thrilled- and if she isn't, then I will kill her personally."

That managed to produce a chuckle from Kensi, so Nell just continued on speaking.

"You do have a wedding dress, or ten, rather. With the extraordinary circumstances, you know, this being a surprise wedding and all, Hetty was able to pull some strings, and there are ten wedding dresses back there for you to choose from. And if you don't like any of them, than I am sure the ninja can work her magic. Then, after you find a gown, you can sit down and write some perfect vows. So… you are going to be okay. I promise you, everything is being taken care of. You are going to walk out there, looking absolutely flawless and stunning to marry the man of your dreams. It's all going to be perfect."

Kensi looked to be more excited than nervous by that point, and she just nodded in understanding.

"Now, let me finish your makeup so you can try on some wedding dresses."

* * *

"Dude, stop fidgeting," Ray said, shaking his head as he stared at Deeks from across the room, watching as he shifted from foot to foot in his sleek black suit and tie, anxiously tracing the vents in the ceiling with his eyes.

Deeks stopped tapping his foot to glare across the room at his friend, who's presence he had forgotten about entirely.

"I'm nervous, alright? Don't be an ass."

"I came all this way, didn't I?"

"Very funny. But I know you never would have missed it," Deeks stated matter-of-factly, a sly grinned wiped across his face.

"You and Wikipedia getting _married? _Ha… no. You're right. There is absolutely no way I would have missed this."

Deeks chuckled and walked over to the full length mirror that had been strategically placed in the downstairs locker room.

"You know, I never thought I would be getting ready for my wedding in a place where I am usually a sweaty mess."

"_You know_, I never thought I would actually see you get married. Life's full of surprises."

Deeks snorted with laughter as he fixed his tie in the mirror. "Then I'm sure you'll find it shocking that I am about to be a dad as well."

Ray hadn't expected Deeks' comeback to be anything even remotely similar to something of a serious nature- he certainly hadn't phrased it in that way.

"Geez- congrats man! That's great!"

Ray hurriedly made his way across the room, giving Deeks a quick hug and pat on the back.

"So, how does Wikipedia feel about all of this?"

Deeks shook his head as his smile grew even wider- just the mere mention of Kensi Blye tended to have that effect on him.

"She's… happy. Really, really happy."

In that exact same instance Sam and Callen both wandered into the room, each person carrying a dry cleaning bag with a black suit inside. Sam chuckled as he saw Deeks, immediately prompting a rather annoyed response.

"What was that for?"

"I've just never seen you in a suit before. You clean up nice. Better than I expected."

Deeks raised his eyebrows, glancing around to Ray and Callen before finally looking back again to Sam. "I'm not sure if that was supposed to be a compliment, but I'll still take it."

Sam laughed gruffly, folding his arms tightly cross his chest. "By the way- operation 'Juliet' is complete."

The task of bringing Kensi's mom to OSP was given that name by Sam; not because of anything having to do with Shakespeare, but solely because he felt that it was necessary to use the phonetic alphabetical word for Julia's name as his description of the mission.

Deeks was a cop though- he didn't talk like that. "Dude, why do you have to say it like that? Why can't you just say that Kensi's mom is here?"

Sam shrugged. "It's not as cool."

Callen was quick to interject. "Deeks- we have twenty minutes until you are supposed to walk down that aisle, alright?"

There was no delay in his snarky reply. "Isn't that Kensi's job?"

Callen didn't even bother to address Deeks, but instead just turned his attention to Ray. "Is he always this much of a smartass?"

"Only when he's happy."

G grinned a toothless smile. "Good then. Today ought to be a success."

* * *

In that one, short and instantaneous moment, Deeks knew that he would remember that day forever. Not that he'd had any doubts before, it was just that suddenly and without warning, he had genuinely realized the significance of what was happening.

He was marrying his partner. The person who he'd sworn for years was nothing more than just that- _a partner,_which turned out to be the largest lie he'd ever told.

Still, Deeks would always remember the look on Kensi's face when she had seen their wedding venue for the first time that morning. He'd recall the tears that sprung into her eyes, and the way that she'd spun around to look at him in complete and utter disbelief, absolutely amazed that he was able to pull something like that off.

But most of all- he would always hold onto the mental image of how angelic she looked in that moment. She wasn't walking down the aisle; she was floating.

The dress that she'd chosen was a stunning strapless gown with a delicate sweetheart neckline, to show off her incredible collarbones. The natural brown locks that she usually wore had been curled into a wavy fashion, and two sections were been pinned up behind her head, held in place by a small blue barrette from her mother. Kensi's tanned skin glistened in the light that streamed in through the overhead windows, and she shot Deeks a nervous smile.

Tears were already stinging the corners of her eyes by the time that she reached his side. Deeks extended one hand out towards her, his fingers quickly coming to wrap around hers with ease. Kensi walked towards him just two short steps and Nell quickly jumped to her side, adjusting the short train of her dress so it ran straight.

The minister smiled as Deeks nodded to him, giving him the cue to begin the ceremony.

"Kensi and Martin-"

Kensi raised her eyebrows at the use of Deeks' full first name, as it was rare for her to actually hear it said aloud.

"-today you celebrate one of life's greatest moments and give recognition to the worth and beauties of love, as you join together in the vows of marriage."

It all sounded so formal, so strict and rehearsed. Kensi was glad that her and Deeks had decided to write their own vows to one another- it held so much more meaning than just a few simple sentences that they had to repeat back to one another ever could.

"So," the minister began, "Martin, do you take Kensi to be your wife?"

Deeks stared at Kensi, his blue eyes already growing misty with tears. They glared into hers, his gaze firm and unwavering. "I do."

"Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her?"

Deeks squeezed Kensi's hand. "I do."

The minister then looked over to Kensi, who had her eyes glued to Deeks'.

"Kensi, do you take Martin to be your husband?"

She grinned, squeezing her hands tightly in his. "I do."

"Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him?"

"I do."

The minister paused for only a split second before glancing over his shoulder to Ray. "May I see the rings?"

He nodded and pulled two wedding bands out of his pocket, one with diamonds and one without.

"Now, Martin, you may recite your vows."

Deeks cleared his throat, his blue eyes glossy with just the slightest hint of tearfulness. "I, Martin, take you, Kensi, to be my wife, my partner in life, and my one true love- forever and always. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and until the day that I die. I will let you eat doughnuts whenever you please, and won't get angry when you sneak a box of twinkles into the grocery cart before we checkout. I will always laugh with you and only _occasionally_ at you, like if you stuff your face with pizza or do that weird, crazy laugh/snort thing that you do sometimes when you're trying to prove a point. But when I do laugh at you, if it is in public, I will do my best to create the illusion that it is_ with _you."

Kensi may have had tears in her eyes by that point, but she was also buckling over with laughter. It was a strange mix of very different and intense emotions, but she really wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

"As you know well, what I admire most about you is your determination. But…"

Kensi had expected there to be a '_but'_ thrown in there, and apparently their crowd of friends had as well. Everyone laughed as Deeks paused and looked up from his sheet of paper, chuckling and shooting Kensi a quick wink.

"But… stamping your foot when you don't get your way is no longer cute after age nine. Seriously, I love you, but you should stop that."

Kensi just shrugged and rolled her eyes, but when she brought her head back down to meet Deeks' gaze, there was a newfound sincerity in his face, one that had taken the place over the humor.

"With all the jokes aside though… I love you. I love you so incredibly much that sometimes I actually wonder how it's even possible to feel something this strong for one person, because the way that I love you _defies_ logic. Since we first became partners four years ago, it's seemed less like I'm getting to know you and more as though I'm just _remembering_ who you are. Somehow it feels as if every whisper, every smile, every joke that we've shared has only brought me closer to the seemingly impossible conclusion that I have loved you before, in another time or in another place. We learned a couple of weeks ago that I've had that feeling for a reason: we _did_ know one another a long time ago. But it's more than that. It is. I was never fully sure if I believed in soul mates before I met you, but I do now. You're my other half- I'd be lost without you. I really would. We compliment each other perfectly. You make me a better person, and I hope that I do the exact same for you. So to sum it all up, to whittle it all down into one sentence... I live for you, Kensi. "

Kensi's breath hitched as his voice lowered and he merely whispered the last sentence to her. Deeks cleared his throat, tears dangerously close to spilling over his eyelids.

"I look forward to being a married man and starting a new chapter in my life. For starters, I promise to no longer refer to it as 'my life,' but 'ours.' I promise you that I will be the very best father that I can, and to help you be an incredible mother as well. I promise to be your partner in all things, working with you as a part of the whole. I promise that I will try to make you laugh at least once every single day, as so far, since we first met, there has yet to be a day where we haven't laughed together. I never want there to be one. Lastly, I promise to you perfect love and perfect trust, as that is exactly what you deserve to have."

He reached around and took Kensi's glistening diamond ring from Ray's hand, slowly slipping it onto her left ring finger, his own hand shaking.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

Kensi blinked back tears as the minister handed her Deeks' wedding band, but it was still no use.

"Now, Kensi, you may recite your vows."

She sucked in an unsteady deep breath, and somehow managed to speak without her voice breaking.

"I Kensi, take you, Martin, to be my husband from this day forward. I know it sounds like such a cliché, but I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you. I've reached a point now where I just can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't know how I'd manage- for many different reasons. I have learned over these past few months that you are the best roommate I could ever ask for. Though you have an extreme case of OCD, you are still able to deal with my annoying habits. And I've discovered that you have very few, aside from occasionally stealing the remote from me. You pick up my half-empty coffee cups that I leave around your apartment, you make me breakfast on the weekends, and you always know where my cell phone and keys are when I go into full panic mode and scream that someone stole them."

She giggled but allowed her expression to grow more serious with the passing time, tightly holding Deeks' hands in her own.

"Deeks… you're my partner. And I really couldn't ask for anything more than what you've already given me. I am in love not only with the person that you are, but also with the person that you've grown to be. For four years you've been _right here, _just waiting for me to open my eyes and realize it. It did take me a little while longer than either of us would've hoped, but eventually, I figured it out. I realized what I'd been missing out on. And when I finally found you, everything else just fell into place. You came into my life, and from day one you somehow always knew what to do with the broken pieces. You knew how to fix me, and make me better even when I didn't know how. You have been my best friend, playmate, confidant and my greatest challenge. But most importantly, I've found something with you that always seemed just the slightest bit out of reach.

"When we met, all I knew was that you made me laugh and you looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, which I secretly thought was hot. I thought you were a mystery that I was never going to solve. Only time would allow me to see your true colors. You're generous, loving, sensitive, kind, an insomniac, and a lover of fish tacos and rescue dogs. You surf more than anyone else I know and always manage to smell like salt water. But the truth is…I love all of it. And I always will."

As Kensi spoke, it was as if nobody else in that room existed. It felt like she was just talking to him, and _only_ him.

"I vow to always laugh at your jokes, to encourage your spontaneity, and to help shoulder our challenges, as I have learned over the years that we can face practically any hardship if we go at it together. I never thought I'd find a love like you, but somehow I was lucky enough that I did. So I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together. I will love you until the day that I die."

By that moment Kensi could hardly breathe as she slipped the silver band onto Deeks ring finger. "So- with this ring, I thee wed."

Her hands were shaking, her knees weak from the mounting pressure and buildup of that moment.

"Kensi and Martin, in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, I now declare you to be Husband and Wife."

The minister smiled at Deeks, who by that point was practically standing on his toes. "You may kiss your bride."

Deeks pulled Kensi towards himself in a split second, grabbing her face and kissing her- powerfully. His hands found her back, then her shoulders, then the back of her neck, and he pulled her as close as he possibly could.

For both Kensi and Deeks, kissing one another was different than kissing anyone else in the world. It was magical. Ethereal. Invigorating and exhilarating, all at the same time. They were beginning something that they were certain would last a lifetime, and the significance of that moment wasn't lost on either one of them.

"I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Martin Deeks!"

That exclamation from their officiate definitely managed to pull the two of them back into reality. Their small crowd of family and friends stood up and applauded, but that didn't distract Deeks away from Kensi for long at all.

"Follow me," Deeks whispered into Kensi's ear, all smiles.

He immediately reached for her hand and grabbed it, pulling her the rest of the way down the aisle and then down the hall to armory, away from the crowd of loud family and friends.

Kensi felt so incredibly out of place in that room- she was wearing a long, flowing white gown, surrounded by guns and various weaponry.

Without a single spoken word, Deeks stopped in the middle of the room and pulled Kensi in close once more, pressing a kiss to her lips and completely catching her off guard.

When he pulled away, Deeks brushed one stray piece of hair behind her ear, cupping Kensi's face in his hand, one finger flicking a leftover tear off her cheek as he noted how red and puffy her eyes were from crying during the ceremony.

"Do we have to go to the reception? I'd love to just whisk you away right now."

Kensi giggled and glanced down towards her feet, which were completely disguised by the ball of tulle that surrounded her legs.

"Our guests might wonder where we went… and we don't want to make Nell mad. Or my mom."

He nodded in slight sarcastic agreement. "Oh yeah. That wouldn't be good."

Deeks stared into her eyes for a long moment before leaning in and planting a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm so glad that we're married," he whispered, his breath moving the stray wisps of hair from around her face as he spoke.

Deeks' arms around her waist were grounding, centering. Kensi never wanted to move from that position; all she could ever ask for was right there in front of her. She felt as if she wanted to just float away with him, wrapped up in his warm and tender grasp.

"Me too Deeks… Me too."


	24. Crosshairs

The honeymoon came and went- it was a smashing success in both Kensi and Deeks' mind. He'd whisked her away to the one place that he'd been trying to drag her to for _years; _his cabin in the snowy mountain tops. It was secluded and quiet- a perfect place for a relaxing vacation, which was something that was rarely taken by either one of them.

When they returned, Deeks had finally forced Kensi into going to the doctor's office. She hated going there, or despised it rather. The stark white walls and beeping of various medical machines made her feel claustrophobic, almost nauseous. She assumed it was because she'd been stuck inside of them so many times before, that they always reminded her of near-death experiences.

But they were going to the doctor for a very different type of appointment; one that she had never experienced before. It was about creating new life, rather than feeling the possibility of it being taken away. Finding a doctor to go to in the first place was a tedious process though, as Deeks was incredibly protective of his new wife; only the most highly rated doctors would do, so Kensi just went along with whatever he chose.

Deeks desperately wanted to be unsuspecting when their little one arrived, so they chose to wait and be surprised by the gender of their child. Kensi didn't really care either way, but the spontaneous side of Deeks decided that he really wanted to be in shock when the baby finally came- he enjoyed the buildup of it all.

After that one particularly interesting day, three more months passed by. Three months that seemed exponentially long for both Kensi and Deeks, as neither of them had their partner to entertain them, or to make the days seem shorter.

Kensi's baby bump had definitely grown substantially in that time period, but still not enough for it to be incredibly pronounced. Then, suddenly, in what seemed like in a matter of days, her protruding stomach was pushed out further and further. Maybe it all happened so quickly because of her suddenly ravenous appetite- Kensi couldn't really be sure. All she knew was that with weeks of food aversions and nausea behind her, Kensi _always_ wanted to eat.

Deeks was constantly running back to the grocery store, buying her twinkles, doughnuts, hamburgers, or basically anything she felt was calling her name in that moment.

During that same time she worked up in ops with Nell and Eric, her presence proving to actually be rather helpful in certain scenarios. On strict orders from both Hetty and her husband, Kensi wasn't allowed to do field work under _any_ circumstances.

She thought it was overkill, but everyone else believed it was entirely necessary, given the peculiar situation they were in. Though she may have fought it at first, Kensi still obeyed, as she knew it was all for the best.

Deeks on the other hand- he didn't have it quite as easy. Rather than trying to find him a replacement partner for such a short period of time, they instead just had him tag along with Sam and Callen.

To say that Deeks felt like the third wheel would have been to underestimate the situation completely; he _was _the third wheel. He was the annoying guy who sat in the back seat, cracking jokes and trying to defuse the mounting tension any chance he got.

Kensi definitely heard all about it once they went home together for the night. On that Wednesday it had been an especially rocky day for Deeks, so she got an earful that evening.

Deeks' place was larger and cleaner than hers, so she had packed up and moved in there with him until they found a new home to buy together. They were resting on the couch together; Deeks sitting with his back pressed up against the couch cushions while kensi sat the opposite way, her back leaning on the armrest and her feet on his lap.

"… And then Sam asked me why I keep this haircut all the time. I mean, who says that? Like, seriously? It's just annoying."

"I can't imagine someone being annoying."

"I know! It's like…. Hey. I see what you're doing here."

Kensi wore a smug grin on her face, as she was finding it easier and easier to help Deeks let off some steam just by allowing him to ramble, every once in a while chiming in with a quick comment or two.

By that point though, he'd been going on and on about every single quip that was made about him for a good twenty minutes, and she felt it was time to intervene.

"Deeks- they're just like that. They're serious people. And that is how they will treat you when you're cracking jokes all the time."

He wasn't buying it, instead just pouting like a five year old who hadn't gotten his way.

"You're a serious person. You still love me."

"Exactly. I _love _you. And that's why I find the stuff you do cute and funny. They don't feel the same way because, and I'm sorry that I have to be the one to say this: they don't love you."

He rolled his eyes and chuckled at her frank analysis. "I'm not expecting them to be in love with me Kens. I just want them to like me."

"I think they do! I just don't think they show it in the manor that you want them to."

He was defensive, which was quickly causing him to become sarcastic. "Okay. Right. Because when you like someone, it's completely normal to slap them on the back of the head and say, _'You're lucky I'm not Gibbs, or this would happen all the damn time.' _Why would he do that? Why would he _say _that? And who the hell is Gibbs?_"_

Kensi bit her lip and tried desperately hard not to tease him any further, but was gravely unsuccessful. She just burst out laughing, unable to hold her true sentiments in.

"Gibbs is another agent- he works up in DC. I guess he was before your time."

Deeks couldn't get a read on what that meant exactly. "Is he... mean?"

She shrugged, still laughing a tad. "Sorta, kinda. He's not warm and fuzzy if that's what you're asking."

"Well… does he hit people on the back of the head?"

"Yeah. He does that a lot."

Deeks still looked stumped. "Well I definitely don't like it. It's unprofessional."

That comment caused Kensi to burst out laughing all over again.

"_Unprofessional? _Deeks, you wrote the book on unprofessional!"

"Ugh. I did _not_."

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Shut up now Deeks."

"Fair enough."

She smiled and nudged him lightly in the side with her foot. "It's not going to be like this for much longer. After I have the baby, I'll come back to work and we can be partners again."

He nodded but then looked away too the floor, as if suddenly deep in thought.

"What is it?"

He glanced back up to her, holding a new sincerity in his gaze. "You'll have to go on maternity leave though, right? I mean, after you have the little one you'll still be out for two or three more months."

She honestly hadn't thought about that part of it all. "Yeah… I guess you're right."

He continued to stare at her, a smile slowly creeping onto his face before he hopped up from the couch. "I need to make a call."

"To who?"

He spun around before crossing the threshold into their newly shared bedroom. "Um…. Someone. I won't be long. Promise."

She was still confused, but Deeks didn't give her time to ask any more questions. It obviously wasn't something bad, judging by the huge smile that Deeks was wearing, yet still managed to be somewhat unsettling.

Kensi stared at the door as he gently closed it, but still just shrugged to herself. If Deeks didn't want to tell her what he was hiding for the moment, she would let him. The last time he'd kept a secret from her, it had turned out to be a very good aftermath, rather than a bad one.

She sighed and sunk down further into the couch, lazily knocking a pillow over so she could prop her feet up on it, all the while motioning for Monty to join her as she napped while waiting for Deeks to return. So basically: life was good.

* * *

The next night Kensi stood up in ops, anxiously watching her partner on the monitor in front of her as he searched a house alongside Sam and Callen.

She was leaning against the center monitor, arms crossed as she tapped her foot and nervously chewed on the end of her thumbnail. Kensi absolutely _despised _watching everything go down through television screens, rather than actually being there in the midst of all the action. If she was there, working alongside Deeks, she was almost always able to keep an eye on him.

But waiting for them to talk and let her know that they were safe and sound was nerve racking. He was in danger on a daily basis, but somehow it didn't terrify her unless he was in danger _without _her there to watch his back.

Kensi wasn't even paying attention to the details of their case; if she wasn't involved it really didn't interest her. Kensi was solely focused on getting Deeks back home safe- by that point it was the only thing that really mattered to her.

"Kens- he's gonna be fine. This is what they do for a living," Nell said, easily able to detect her mounting annoyance.

Kensi looked over towards her friend and tossed her hands up in the air; Nell really wasn't helping her deal with the situation in the slightest.

"I know that. But I should still be there. I'm his partner; I'm supposed to have his back."

"I think Sam and Callen can take care of him for you."

Kensi clenched her jaw, turning her attention back towards the monitor without another word. Nell didn't understand what it was like for her. Having to just stand there while Deeks was out in the field was a horrible feeling, one that couldn't easily be explained.

She lived for the thrill of it all; the danger and the peril was like a drug to her- and Kensi was having withdrawals.

They watched from Sam's button camera as him, Callen and Deeks approached the house side by side, Callen effortlessly kicking down the door when it was failed to be opened for them. She watched as Deeks was split up from the rest of the group, the back of his head slowly leaving the camera frame as Sam and G went upstairs, leaving him alone on the bottom floor.

Kensi quickly pressed a button on her earpiece to turn it on, but all she heard was cackling. "Nell- put me in Sam's ear."

It was a statement, a request- not at all a question. Nell hesitated though, as she didn't want to deal with the wrath of Hetty for potentially compromising the situation. A pregnant, hormonal, and overprotective woman was a bad combination, and that was exactly who was standing in front of her.

"Kens, I-"

"Nell! Do it now."

Her tone was so certain, so threatening that Nell didn't hesitate to do exactly as she was told.

She turned around to face her computer's keyboard, swiftly moving her fingers until the cackling noise disappeared and Sam's heavy breathing filled her ears.

Kensi firmly pressed one finger against the device, making quite certain that Sam would be able to hear her.

"Sam, you c_annot _leave Deeks alone by himself to clear a floor. He doesn't have a partner at the moment- you guys have to stick together."

She heard Sam produce a sigh before speaking into her ear. "We have to move quickly Kensi."

That wasn't a good enough excuse to make her back down, as she knew he was just trying to shut her up. Kensi watched Sam's surroundings on the screen in front of her as he continued to clear the upper floor, weapon drawn.

"Sam! Don't brush me off- clear the top floor quickly and go back down to check on him, alright?"

"Fine, fine."

Sam continued to maneuver around the upper floor of the house, peering his head in each room alongside Callen before moving onto the next.

"Clear," he muttered as he reached the end of the hallway. "The suspects aren't here."

"Sam-" Kensi began, raising her voice and taking a step closer to the monitor.

"I know, I know. We're going."

Sam and Callen only had to take about one step towards the lower level before they heard multiple loud bangs ring out through the small house, their deafening sound wafting up the staircase and piercing their eardrums.

Kensi froze where she stood, heart racing as she watched Sam and Callen spring into immediate action on the screen before her, running towards the sight of the loud sound without a second of hesitation.

She instantly knew what the earsplitting sound was; and what it might have meant. It was the sound that Kensi Blye had heard so many times before. The sound that never frightened her until it was heard around the people that she cared so deeply for. The sound that, in this context, made her heart sink deep into the cavernous depths of her stomach: it was a gunshot.

Kensi felt the entire world tilt beneath her as she watched Sam and Callen race down the staircase. She wanted to see her partner on the screen in front of her, to know that he was alright, and that he wasn't the person who'd just taken a bullet.

But as Sam rounded the corner, her vision narrowed to pinpricks and her knees nearly buckled beneath her. She didn't know what to think, or what to do, or how to breathe.

All she knew was that Deeks had been shot.

* * *

**Thank you so much for all the amazing reviews! Now, this chapter will leave you with _many, many _questions, but don't fret my dear readers! (Or hate me for giving you a cliffhanger;) Please review as always!**

**-Hazel**


	25. Fallen

**Thank you for all of the reviews- I've just hit 200! WOW! I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and please review as always:)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

_She didn't know what to think, or what to do, or how to breathe. All she knew was that Deeks had been shot._

Kensi clearly watched as Sam moved towards her partner who was lying on the ground, his gun discarded to the floor beside him. Sam ran to hover over him, and Kensi desperately wanted to close her eyes as she got a full view of Deeks from the button camera.

Still- she couldn't turn away as she saw not one, but two bullet holes that had pierced through his vest. His eyes were still open though, and that was the only thing that kept her from completely collapsing to the ground.

One hand flew to rest on her baby bump, almost instinctively. She could feel her heart rate rise as the panic set in, her mismatched brown eyes laced with terror as she stared at Deeks' face through the non-grainy image on the screen.

The video feed was clear; almost _too_ clear for her own good. Deeks' forehead was furrowed into a crease, beads of perspiration caused by the mounting pain building up around his hairline.

"Callen- our suspect is getting away! Go!" Sam yelled, one arm pointing away towards the front door.

"Ow…" Deeks moaned, eyes fluttering open and closed as he struggled to keep with them.

Kensi felt a deep, gut wrenching pain that seemed to travel up her spine and make her entire body quake and shiver.

"Sam," she whispered, her voice shaking. Those few words were the only ones she could muster. "Talk to me."

"Dammit!" Sam exclaimed as he remained knelt over Deeks, gingerly but still hurriedly ripping off his bulletproof vest. "Nell, Eric- get us an ambulance right now!"

They both turned around and grabbed their phones, leaving a frantic yet helpless Kensi standing in the center of the room.

"Sam! Why isn't he getting up? He was wearing a vest so why the _hell _isn't he getting up?" The shock and quietness in her voice had faded away in one fleeting moment, panic and fear moving in to take its place.

As the vest was fully removed off of Deeks' chest though, she quickly received an answer to her own question.

"A third shot missed the vest – hit him in the shoulder!" Sam yelled, his tone becoming frantic to match Kensi's as he pulled off his own vest and jacket, pressing the fabric against the bullet hole in an attempt to apply pressure to the wound, immediately causing Deeks to yelp in pain.

One hand shot up to cover her mouth, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. A haze of dread surrounded her, overriding everything else. She could hardly stand to hear him in pain, to hear him yell, to hear him hurt, as it had a rather similar effect on her as it did on him: it was agonizing.

Her partner, her _husband, _was lying on the floor of some house, bleeding out, and she couldn't do a single thing about it. Sure he'd been shot in the shoulder, and things could've been far worse, but he'd still been _shot. _Three times.

"Medics are on their way," Nell said merely as a statement, not speaking to anybody in particular as she spun around to take in Kensi's condition.

Kensi usually wasn't the type of person who allowed her emotions to bubble up towards the surface, but being a pregnant woman whose husband had just been shot changed the situation _dramatically_.

Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks, outwardly visible to both Nell and Eric- but she didn't even care. All she cared about was Deeks.

Nell hurriedly glanced over to Eric. "Shut it down," she muttered, gesturing to the monitor. They were speaking to Sam over their earpieces, and there was no real need for Kensi to watch her husband continue to writhe in pain.

Kensi stared down at the floor, her head spinning as a million thoughts flashed through her mind, each traveling a mile a minute.

"I, um… I need to go to that house," Kensi said, swallowing hard as her misty eyes finally left the floor and she looked up to meet Nell's gaze. Everyone was so quiet, so stunned- she couldn't help but react the exact same way.

"They'll be gone by the time you get there, Kens," Eric said, chiming in for the first time, his tone melancholy.

"I have to see him."

She said the statement weakly, certain that it would provoke some sort of an answer from Eric and Nell: but there was only silence, so she had to speak again.

"I... I need to go to the hospital then," Kensi added as she discreetly wiped at her eyes, silently willing the tears to go away.

Nell didn't know what she could say or do in that moment that might possibly make her friend feel better, so she just took two steps forward, one hand extended in the air.

"Kens..."

She trailed off as Kensi looked up to meet her gaze, eyes watery with tears. There was nothing more that Nell could say; Kensi already knew how poorly she felt- how sorry she was for not doing something more to prevent this from happening in the first place.

Kensi just nodded frailly at her; a verbal apology or term of remorse was unnecessary.

"What hospital are they taking him to?"

"Pacific Beach Medical," Nell muttered, her voice lowered as to not give away the fact that she was close to waterworks herself.

Kensi nodded feebly, her gaunt figure spinning around in one fluid motion and swiftly walking out the automatic doors. She was still in shock, and had no idea how to react to her newfound situation. There was this strange feeling in her chest, as if it was merely her body that was moving along- like she'd just left her mind up in ops.

It seemed like it should have all been one bad dream, one that she'd be able to wake up from and realize that it wasn't true, and that she'd just imagined it all. Sadly though, that wasn't the case. This was all _real_, and her partner really had been shot once again.

The fear of loss was creeping back into her psyche, slowly but surely taking over once more. She wasn't _allowing_ it to encapsulate her brain per say- it was just happening. And she had absolutely no control over that side of her emotions. It was as if the entirety of her happiness resided with Deeks, and when he was hurt she could always feel it, deep down inside.

The minute she began walking down the staircase Kensi could already tell that the rest of the office had gotten word of Deeks' three gunshot wounds to the chest. She immediately singled out Hetty in her peripheral vision, who stood up from her desk chair as soon as she saw Kensi descending down towards the lower level.

Kensi really wasn't in the mood to stop and chat, so she rapidly rounded the corner and made her way towards her desk, pretending not to see the alarmed look in Hetty's eyes. All she wanted was some space, a bit of room to breathe before she really went crazy; Kensi already felt like she was teetering on the brink of insanity.

In a matter of five seconds she was out the front door, throwing her backpack over her shoulder and picking up speed as she exited OSP.

She just had to be close to him, even if that meant sitting out in a waiting room for hours on end. No matter what, Kensi wanted to be the first person he saw when he awoke in the hospital.

Kensi drove to the hospital mindlessly, her brain not yet ready to acknowledge the ache that was slowly consuming her entire body, superseding every other thought with it's unadulterated persistence. Life seemed to move in slow motion. Just the mere possibility of losing him was too much to handle, and his absence made everything seem drearier.

More than anything else though, Kensi was just confused. The world around her didn't seem real; everything was fuzzy and unclear through the filter of her damaged intellect. Nothing held any true meaning or appeal, and she couldn't decide which part was worse: the pain she felt from Deeks' absence, or the pain she felt from her own somewhat broken mind.

She was sure Deeks would survive- he had to. Either way, Kensi knew one thing: the feeling she had experienced when his face popped up on that flatscreen had been exceedingly painful. It was the potential of grave loss that forced her to keep driving and not stop though, even as the tears flooded into her eyes at a rapid rate, clouding her already fuzzy vision.

Parking and walking into the hospital- now that part wasn't blurred or diluted whatsoever. From the moment she entered those two front doors, Kensi was a woman on a mission.

She knew exactly where to go, as sadly she had been to that hospital many times before, and for similar reasons. The only difference was that this time around, the stakes were much, _much_ higher than they'd ever been before.

"Excuse me," Kensi asked, her tone sounding almost calm as she approached a woman at the front desk. "My partner- er, my _husband_ was admitted here today."

"Last name?" The woman asked emotionlessly, not bothering to look up from her computer screen.

Her inattentiveness was undoubtedly aggravating Kensi, who was already on edge. "Last name is Deeks. Martin Deeks."

She typed a few letters into her keyboard and hit enter, eyes widening immediately as she read something on her screen.

"Oh... he had the three GSW's to the chest," she said, her tone easily alluding to the fact that Deeks' condition wasn't something they saw on a daily basis.

She turned to face Kensi, eyes immediately dropping down to state at her protruding stomach. "The cop, right?"

Kensi wasn't in the mood for small talk, so her response was short and frank.

"Yeah. LAPD."

"His badge was turned into the front desk, and I can hand it over to you if you'll confirm the number-"

"8523," Kensi said bluntly, cutting her off mid-sentence. She knew it by heart.

"Right."

The woman nodded and handed the badge over to Kensi, pushing it across the counter towards her.

Kensi took it and clutched it tightly to her chest. "Where is he?"

"Second floor, but you'll have to wait out in the hall. It looks like he's still in surgery."

"Surgery?" Kensi asked, her voice immediately rising to a nearly hysterical level.

"One bullet missed the vest."

She shook her head, promptly remembering that she already knew that unfortunate information- she'd witnessed the incident firsthand.

"Oh... Right. Thanks."

Kensi spun around and walked swiftly towards the staircase, avoiding the elevators completely. She needed to keep moving- she couldn't stand still, or Kensi was certain that she'd break down completely.

She had slowly moved past the stage of sadness and grief, easily allowing anger to move in and take it's place when she rounded the corner on the second floor to see Sam and Callen standing in the middle of an otherwise empty hallway.

They saw Kensi and stopped speaking immediately, turning around to face her at a leisurely pace while she just picked up speed.

Sam was the first to acknowledge her presence, a pleading look in his eyes. "Kens, I-"

"Oh, save it!" She exclaimed instantly, raising one finger up to his face. "Do you realize what happened back there? Do you even have the slightest clue as to what you just caused? How much you've put him through today- not to mention how much you've put me through? You made Deeks clear the lower floor by himself, so as far as I'm concerned this one is on _you, _Sam. I told you repeatedly not to leave him alone, and what did you do? Oh, right! You left him alone. He didn't have a partner- _nobody _was there to have his back! So he got _shot _Sam. A bullet is currently being removed from my husband's chest because you guys had to _'move quickly. _Was it worth it? Was it really that important to-"

"Kensi!" Callen exclaimed, cutting her off as she continued to ramble.

Sam easily and willingly took the beating; he did deserve it after all. Callen wasn't quite as willing to allow Kensi's blood pressure to spike though, and he just had to interject when he could visibly see a vein throbbing in her forehead.

He lowered his tone when she stopped speaking, calmingly placing one hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright? You should… sit down, or something."

Kensi swallowed hard, suddenly intensely grateful for the fact that nobody else was around to see her antics. She despised the new social attribute that she had acquired as a result of being pregnant: people were always far too concerned for her wellbeing.

She had always been just fine in tough situations, but now everyone was acting as if she was some fragile little girl, like she was going to somehow randomly combust just because her emotions had gotten the best of her.

It was frustrating, and she didn't want to deal with it. Sure, she understood their overly expressed concern- but that didn't mean she wanted to oblige to it.

"I'm fine," Kensi replied, her voice lowered while her tone remained strong and candid. "I'm gonna… take a walk."

Kensi turned around and instinctively began to move briskly, placing one foot in front of the other until she reached the end of the hall. She was just about to put step onto the first stair, but was quickly stopped as she heard an unfamiliar voice calling out to her.

"Mrs. Deeks?"


	26. Out of the Dark

**This is now officially the longest story I have written to date! My inbox is blowing up here... you are all too kind. Thank you SO much for all the nice words and reviews- I love love love it! Here's another installment, and I hope you all enjoy it! Once again, please leave me your thoughts in the review section below:)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

_Mrs. Deeks?_

It was the first time that she had ever heard her new name being said aloud, so Kensi definitely did a double take before realizing that the doctor was speaking to her.

"Yes?"

Kensi spun back around, but didn't have to take more than one step back towards him, as the doctor effortlessly made his way to stand in front of her.

Her heart rate rose- she knew the man was coming to speak to her about Deeks. Just the possibility that she could be losing him was unnerving and heartbreaking, all at the same time. She knew all too well that you can only loose what you cling to, and there was no denying that she clung to him.

As the doctor reached her, Kensi swallowed the lump that was welling up in her throat, the words, '_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry,' _chanting over and over again in her head. Rarely was she this emotional, but watching your husband get shot wasn't fun- especially after just reaching the halfway point in your pregnancy.

"He's going to be okay, right?" Kensi asked, crossing her arms firmly across her chest- this usually helped to prevent her emotions from boiling up to the surface.

"He'll be fine," the doctor stated pointedly, glancing up from his clipboard. "It was a relatively small caliber weapon. Just a flesh wound in his shoulder- no vital organs were hit. He still has two bruised ribs from where he was hit in the chest, but other than that he ought to be up and moving around again within a matter of days."

Kensi let out a loud sigh of alleviation. The relief washed over her and she took it in waves, allowing her fears and worries to subside. It was as if a colossal amount of weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she remembered how to breathe again, all because Kensi knew one thing for certain: she was still going to have Deeks to come home to at the end of the day.

Although she felt so exceedingly content in that moment, she still needed something tangible to prove to herself that this was all a bad dream. Kensi needed Deeks. She needed to see him, to touch him, and to have his hand in hers once more.

"Is he awake yet?"

"Not right now- the anesthetic still hasn't worn off."

The disappointment was evident on Kensi's face, and the doctor was quick to lift her spirits. "You can still go in and sit with him. I'm sure he'd be glad to see his wife when he wakes up."

Kensi smiled half-heartedly and nodded. She was definitely glad that he was out of surgery and all patched up, because if she had to see Deeks covered in betadine with his blood spilling out onto the floor she might pass out. Or shoot someone. Or die. Any which way she cut it, something bad was bound to happen.

The doctor stepped aside, motioning down the hall. "Room 306. Second door down on the left."

She immediately began walking towards her desired location, shooting daggers at Sam and Callen both before continuing onto Deeks' room.

Before turning the doorknob to enter his room, Kensi forced herself to take a deep breath in a rather lame attempt to steady her spinning mind. She had to remember: everything was going to be just fine.

Still though, as soon as Kensi crossed the threshold into her partner's room, her mouth went dry and practically every ounce of blood drained from her face. She was thrust back in time to a day that had come about three years prior, a day that she would've loved to forget: the day when Deeks had been shot for the first time.

She walked up to the foot of his bed, furrowing her brow as she took in his condition. Everything felt so eerily similar- from the beeping of respirators to the bandages that were wrapped tightly around his shoulder and torso. Kensi's eyes narrowed in on a hint of red that looked to be creeping through the white wraps, leaving a crimson stain on his chest.

Now that she was there- all Kensi could do was wait.

* * *

She had been sitting there for a solid three hours by that point in time, nervously tapping her foot, one arm resting on the side of his bed. His face looked so calm, so peaceful- which was a stark difference to how she was feeling.

All Kensi wanted to do was talk to him, to have him make a couple of snarky little quips again, or say some sarcastic comment asking if she really was going to punch him in his bullet hole this time around.

Although it was completely irrational, Kensi became more and more anxious to hear him speak as time pressed on. The clock continued to tick by as minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days.

Around thirty minutes later his eyes slowly began to flutter open, Deeks' face still scrunched as he adjusted to the light. Kensi nearly jumped out of her chair, heart rate spiking as she grabbed his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

"Deeks!"

Kensi whisper-yelled his name, her voice breathy, her tone hushed with a sense of excitement still shining through. She leaned down over his bed just slightly, her face around five inches from his.

His bobbing head steadied immediately, eyes focusing in on Kensi in half a second. They danced around her face, his mouth open just a hilt as if he was searching for words.

But rather than joking around with her, toying with her, or making any sort of a funny quip like he usually did when situations got tense- Deeks made a different type of move.

Without a single word he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to hers. Kensi certainly hadn't been expecting something of that nature to brew up so quickly between them, but she easily took it. She closed her eyes and leaned in even closer as Deeks brought one hand up to rest behind her neck, pulling her closer still.

Kensi could hear Deeks' heart rate rise on the monitor beside his bed, the beeping growing exponentially faster with each passing second.

When she reluctantly released, solely so she could breathe again, Kensi just hovered up by his head, eyes dancing around his face as she waited for Deeks to say something- she could tell he wanted to talk.

"Kens... I'm so sorry I put you through all of this," he said, eyes watery. He hated seeing her upset more than most else anything in the world, and the idea that he had made his pregnant and already intensely emotional wife cry was almost too much to handle.

She smiled halfheartedly, and immediately sunk back into the chair beside him, still clutching his hand and leaning her elbows on the bed.

"You scared me Deeks," she said, her tone rather gruff despite the tears that were sparkling in her eyes. "Honestly. That was just… terrible."

He shuddered at hearing those words exit her mouth- as Kensi's husband, as her _partner even, _that wasn't something he was supposed to do. Deeks' job was to make her feel safe, satisfied, and happy- not at all _scared_.

"I'm sorry," Deeks stated simply with an undeniable sincerity.

"It's not your fault."

Kensi chuckled softly as she thought back to her rather unfortunate conversation with Sam a couple of hours prior. "I'm so pissed at Sam."

"Why?"

He hadn't heard their conversation, so it wasn't really surprising that he didn't exactly understand the reasoning behind her anger, which certainly wasn't misdirected.

"He made you clear a floor _alone. _I was in his ear the whole time, telling him not to let you out of his sight… but he did it anyway."

"I promise you, I'll never do that again."

His words were honest; Deeks remained completely earnest throughout his delivery.

Kensi's eyes dropped from his, smiling sadly as she glanced down towards his LAPD badge that was still resting in her left hand.

"You know what Deeks? I envy your ability to substitute optimism for reality."

He furrowed his eyebrows at her complex word choice. "I'm still on pain meds here. Speak normally please."

His request and the smile that went along with it were both so adorable, it was nearly infuriating.

Kensi cocked her head to one side, rolling her eyes despite the fact that she was incredibly happy to hear him speaking sarcastically again.

"All I meant was that you can't promise me something like that- it's entirely out of your hands. I'm always going to be worried about you."

"Fine then," he said, shrugging and only wincing slightly at the movement that, under normal circumstances, would prove to be rather painless. "Do you want me to quit?"

Kensi stared at him, mouth dropped as if he'd just asked the most completely outrageous question. "No- of course not! You're not _quitting _Deeks, you're... you're my partner!"

"Exactly."

He leaned forward just a hilt in his bed, moving as far as he could possibly manage before the labyrinth of cords and wires that he was buried under held him back.

"What else do you want me to do here Kens? Name it, and I'll do it. But aside from quitting or having me put on desk duty… I really don't see what else can be done."

She sighed, relaxing in her chair. "You're right."

He looked around the room, bemused. "Dammit. There's nobody around to get confirmation that you _actually_ just said that to me."

Kensi shook her head and smiled a small grin, quickly changing the subject. "You know Deeks, you have gotten much better at being unpredictable."

"What can I say? I've been working on it for a while. I'm a talent."

"You should be glad I wasn't there. I would've killed Sam… I almost just did it out in the hall, but that's beside the point."

"Yeah, it would've been nice if you had been there," Deeks said blankly, pushing himself up in bed and grimacing in the middle of his sentence.

"And why is that?" She asked with a grin, her smile faltering only fleetingly when she watched Deeks flinch in pain as he attempted to move.

"Well, for starters I probably wouldn't have gotten shot."

Deeks' head was leaned back against his pillow as he spoke, a silly grin plastered to his face. Kensi was his wingman, and there was absolutely no denying that he hated working without her.

Kensi automatically felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her as she dissected his words. She wasn't catching onto his train of thought in the way that he'd hoped she would, and Kensi automatically jerked her hand out of his, feeling defensive of herself.

Though she had passed the blame off onto Sam, she couldn't help but feel at least somewhat responsible for it all, and his words were just vacantly pointing that out to her. Deeks was right: if she had been there, he probably wouldn't have gotten shot. End of story.

"So you're trying to tell me that this is my fault now?"

Deeks was quick to backtrack as he saw the look on her face. "Babe… of _course_ I'm not."

Deeks reached for her hand again and took it in his once more. Kensi softened immediately beneath his touch, allowing herself to be calmed by the small circles he drew in her palm with his thumb.

"I didn't mean it like that- you're just the best person to have watching my back. I miss my partner, that's all."

Kensi was quickly relaxing, returning to her old way of convesing with him. "We do live together Deeks, and I'm pregnant with your child- I think you see me plenty."

"Well, you know… I still miss workin' with ya."

Only a hint of tease was left in his voice as he continued on, asking a question that was weighing heavily on his mind.

"What did you say to Sam out there?"

Kensi's cheeks immediately flushed to a rosy hue, though she remained strong as she spoke.

"I just told him exactly what I told you: I said that he was wrong. That he shouldn't have left you alone in the first place… it was a moronic thing to do. He knows better, I'm certain he does."

"I'm not his '_Callen' _I guess."

Kensi knew exactly what he meant by that statement. There was no denying the fact that Sam hadn't taken to Deeks' antics quite the same way that Kensi had, but it still didn't mean that Sam was alright with Deeks getting shot- she knew he felt terrible.

Kensi thought about adding something in response, but Deeks was quick to continue.

"Did you yell at him for me?"

"Yeah," she said, her tone not at all shy or lacking in spunk. "I put him in his place, so to speak."

"It's not all his fault."

Even if a response to his question was obvious, Kensi still couldn't seem to locate it in a timely manor.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I agreed to do it. I should've said no."

She laughed. "You're really going to tell me that you would've tested Sam? You seem to forget that I'm your wife _and _your partner- I know that man scares the living daylights out of you."

Deeks was quick to adjust his face into a crooked smile, holding his mouth slightly ajar as he spoke. He didn't shrug as he was certain it would hurt, but the motion was still evident in his voice.

"Only on occasion."

Within a matter of seconds a nurse wandered into his room, immediately walking over to the side of Deeks' bed. "Good! You're awake."

The nurse that was tending to him was young, cute, and blond- probably in her mid twenties. Kensi couldn't help but eye her suspiciously as she walked around the room, all smiles as she switched out one of Deeks' IV's.

He didn't send any quick, flirtatious looks her way though, unlike Kensi had watched him do in the past. There were no teasing remarks either- just a few average glances and quiet '_thank you's_, completely unassuming in his delivery.

It was a nice change- definitely a change that Kensi had expected to take place, but still one that she took notice of.

As soon as the nurse was out of the room Deeks let out a loud yawn, obviously exhausted as he lifted one hand up to rub his eyes.

"You should sleep Deeks," Kensi said, just a hint of worry seeping into in her tone of voice.

He smiled sleepily at her concern, eyes quickly becoming droopy. "I think you're right."

Deeks continued to hold onto Kensi's hand tightly as his eyes fluttered closed, vaguely squeezing his fingers around hers.

"I love you Fern," Deeks stated in a breathy voice, eyes already shut as the words exited his mouth.

She grinned and rolled her eyes at his use of the word _Fern. _He was joking around with her once more, and Kensi secretly loved it more than she would ever care to admit.

"I love you too."

Deeks' grin grew just the slightest bit larger at her words, but that expression didn't last long as his breathing evened out and his grip on her hand relaxed just slightly. The sandman had come, swift and certain.


	27. Dust it Off

**I love you all so much! Here is quite a long chapter for all you wonderful people. ****I'm still overwhelmed by the support I receive here as a writer; it's shocking and flattering- thank you so much for all the kind words. Please continue to review- I read every single one and they make my day! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

Kensi awoke the next morning from the corner of Deeks' hospital room. The light of the morning sun pierced her eyes and she shook her head slightly, trying to come out of the fog she was trapped inside.

When she finally came to, Kensi watched Deeks sleep in front of her, mouth open as he snored loudly in his hospital bed. She smiled and wiped her eyes upon seeing him, yawning profusely and shaking her head, pushing herself up just slightly in the chair.

At some point in the evening, after Deeks had fallen asleep from the plethora of pain medication he was on, Kensi had relocated herself to the recliner in the corner of the room. It seemed like a much more comfortable option, in comparison to the flimsy plastic chair that she'd been sitting in for most of the day.

Deeks hadn't asked Kensi to spend the night in the hospital with him, but there really hadn't been any question in her mind that she would stay. Frankly speaking, she didn't want to let him out of her sight.

It seemed to Kensi that if she was to leave his room for more than just a few minutes he would somehow find a way to get shot again. Although her fears may have been irrational, she still felt them all the same.

As she pushed herself up so her lower back could rest comfortably against the chair, Kensi's eyes immediately dropped down to her growing baby bump.

Now that she was about twenty weeks along, it kind of seemed to consume her life. Everything revolved around the tiny child that was growing inside of her, but Kensi certainly wasn't complaining- that was exactly how it was supposed to be.

She had gained a good ten pounds since it all began, as well as swollen ankles and many, _many _strange cravings that came about at the most inconvenient of times.

More than anything else though, Kensi was _always _hungry. And just because she was stuck in the hospital with her injured partner didn't mean that fact would go away, or disappear at the drop of a hat.

Her stomach growled and suddenly she was ravenous, especially as Kensi remembered that she hadn't bothered to have a bite of food since lunch the day before. Watching someone that you count as a better, shinier part of yourself getting shot at definitely made you loose your appetite.

She thought about leaving to go and grab a bite to eat, but the last thing that Kensi wanted was for Deeks to wake up without her there. She contemplated what to do for a solid minute or so, before finally deciding on an answer.

Picking up her cell phone Kensi instantly pressed the third number on her speed dial- Callen.

She had considered calling Sam for a split second, but Kensi really couldn't be blamed for the fact that she didn't want to talk to him at all.

The very least that Callen and Sam could do was bring them both something to eat, as she hadn't yet received a call telling her that they had a case, and was sure that they were still lingering somewhere nearby. It would also be good for the two of them to see Deeks, as they had never even bothered to check in on him once they knew he was going to be all right.

She hadn't wanted them to come in, but that was beside the point. Kensi honestly couldn't decide if she was annoyed by them for failing to check on her partner or just happy that they didn't pester her with incessant questions about his condition. It was a toss up.

The phone rang only two times before she heard Callen's anxious voice coming through the receiver.

"Kensi? Is Deeks alright?"

He assumed she would only have called him if something was terribly wrong, as they hadn't left on the best of terms.

"Yeah, yeah. We're fine."

Her tone was short and gruff, but not too harsh- she was about to ask him for a favor after all.

"Then… what's up?"

Kensi sighed before speaking again- she hated asking for help, but the guys definitely owed it to her.

"Are you guys busy right now? I'm starving and I really don't want to leave Deeks," Kensi whispered into the phone, keeping her voice down as she glanced over to her partner, still sound asleep in bed.

She could hear Callen's sigh of relief through the phone, as Kensi obviously wasn't too mad at him- just Sam. His reply was overly excited, and it seemed like G was trying to make up for the lack of communication that they'd shared in the past 24 hours.

"No, no we aren't busy! Just paperwork, so I'm sure we can sneak away. What do you want to eat?"

She checked her watch- it was already 11:00 AM, so they had passed the time slot when breakfast was a suitable option. Kensi thought about saying '_whatever works,' _as she usually wasn't picky when it came to what she would and wouldn't eat. In that moment though, her pregnancy cravings were definitely getting the best of her.

"Um, how about pasta. With red sauce. And parmesan cheese. Yeah… lots of cheese."

Callen chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Same thing for Deeks?"

She contemplated his words for only a moment before giving him a response. "No- get him pesto pasta, but tell them to go light on the pine nuts, he doesn't really like those. Oh- and get him a coffee, light foam, with two sugars."

That was the first time that Callen had heard them sound _really _married, and he desperately tried to hold back the laugh that wanted to escape his lips.

Kensi could tell what he was thinking by the silence in their phone call, and she could practically hear him smirking through the phone.

"Just…. Shut up," Kensi whispered, crossing one arm under the other as her cheeks turned a rosy hue. "And bring the food please? I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday."

"On it," Callen muttered quietly, still chuckling as he dropped her call.

Kensi shook her head, only mildly embarrassed by that point. She turned around to put her phone back inside of her purse, and when she was facing Deeks' bed again his eyes were halfway open, head still pressed against the pillow as he woke up.

"I heard you say shut up to someone, so I figured that was my cue."

Deeks spoke groggily, a crooked smile already gracing his face as he rubbed his eyes and sat up slightly in bed. "It usually is directed at me, but I guess this time was different."

"How'd ya guess?" She asked cheekily, sliding into the chair beside him once more.

"Well I wasn't talking, so that tends to be a pretty good giveaway."

"Ahah! Touché."

Deeks raised his eyebrows at Kensi, obviously waiting for her to elaborate, but there was nothing. "So… who were you talking to?"

Kensi hadn't really wanted to mention it, but their teammates were coming to the hospital within a matter of minutes, so it needed to be addressed.

"I called Callen."

"Why? Aren't you pissed at him?"

She shrugged. "Mostly Sam. But I was starving, and I asked him to grab us some food. Our child needs to _eat."_

He couldn't help but laugh. "Babe- you know that there's a cafeteria downstairs, right?"

"Yeah, I do. But aside from the jello cups, their food is seriously gross."

His eyebrows shot up once more. "Cravings?"

The question was simple enough, but Kensi didn't want to give an honest answer. "No."

There was no real reason for her to lie, aside from her own inane insecurities regarding the way she ate. Deeks didn't say another word but just held her gaze, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth while he waited for the truth to come out.

She narrowed her eyes and tossed her hands up in the air, finally folding beneath the pressure. "Fine... maybe."

"So far you've had some pretty weird cravings, and each time you've made me run to the supermarket over the past few weeks, I keep seeing the same guy at checkout who thinks I'm _insane _for buying so much random crap."

He easily took to listing things off on his fingers, while Kensi glared at him, feigning annoyance.

"Rice and brown sugar, sour cream straight out of the container, smoked salmon with olives at 2:00 AM, poached eggs- which you usually hate by the way... but I think the weirdest one to date was when you made me go buy triscuits so you could put them on your bowl of rocky road ice cream."

He paused, looking for her reaction- it was a mixture of restrained amusement and exhaustion.

"Please, by all means, go on."

Deeks took that as his indication to get to the point. "So what's it this time? Pickles and ice cream? No, that seems a bit outdated, considering how far along you are. According to all the books I've been reading, you should be wanting to eat like a truck driver by this point."

It was no lie that Deeks had been reading up on pregnancies, and what they were to expect when traveling into such uncharted territory. As a matter of fact, he'd been reading _What to Expect when you're Expecting, _carefully overanalyzing every single page before turning to the next.

"Shut it Deeks."

He moved one finger up to the air faintly, winking at her. "There it is. I knew I wouldn't have to wait long."

Kensi laughed quietly, but there was a knock at the door, one that quickly distracted her away from her partner.

She turned around to find Callen awkwardly hovering in the doorway, a bag of food in hand.

"Hey."

Deeks just nodded in his direction, unsure of how to react to his sudden reappearance.

"Hey G."

Kensi swallowed hard and smiled half-heartedly at Callen, but immediately stiffened when she saw Sam round the corner behind him, looking rather sheepish.

Her eyes shot back over to Deeks, awaiting some faint word of advice- but his blue eyes told her nothing.

Kensi had to come up with it all on her own, but that had never been a challenge in the past, so that's exactly what she did.

With flushed cheeks and shallow breaths, Kensi cleared her throat. "Callen- do you want to give Deeks his food? I'll be right back."

She strolled past G without a second of delay, grabbing Sam's arm, wordlessly and somewhat aggressively pulling him down the hallway, until she knew that they would be out of earshot from Callen and Deeks.

"Hey hey hey," he muttered as she finally released, putting his hands up as Kensi crossed both arms across her chest and shot him daggers.

"Will you at least let me talk this time around?"

Kensi sighed, using the momentary silence to her advantage in an attempt to give herself the upper hand- it seemed to work in her favor.

"Fine. Talk."

Her tone was blunt and fairly bad-mannered, but she really didn't care. Kensi was still _pissed._

Sam cleared his throat before speaking. "Look, Kensi… I'm really sorry, about all of this. I didn't know that would happen when we left him alone down there."

She just had to cut him off. "Really Sam? To hell with that. You're a trained federal agent. You knew better than to let him go alone."

He really couldn't combat what she was saying- it was all true. "You're right."

Kensi waited for him to continue on from that simple statement, but she got nothing in return.

"So... if you knew it was a bad idea, than why did you let him go? Was it a lapse in judgment, or do you just not care about the guy? Because let me tell you Sam, not liking him is one thing, but believing that it's alright for him to get shot is another-"

"Seriously Kensi? He's your husband, and a member of our team. Do you really think I wanted to see that happen to him?"

Kensi quickly realized how harsh her accusations were, and backtracked just a tad, still not giving up her tough stance.

"No, I don't. I'm just trying to figure it all out myself."

"Like you said, it was a lapse in judgment. And as a side note- I don't hate the guy, if that's what you two think. Deeks is just… goofy, you know? He cracks jokes about everything, and we're very different Kensi. Working with him can be tough. He really doesn't take anything seriously."

Sam really wasn't helping his case. Kensi just rolled her neck- angry and desperately wanting to break something.

"Now might not be the best time to tell me about his personality traits, as we aren't writing his freaking eharmony profile page," she whisper-yelled, her voice rising as she pointed behind herself to Deeks' room.

"My partner got shot Sam. He got _shot. _And it doesn't seem like you understand the significance of that fact._"_

"I do."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I'm not so sure."

"Just listen to me for a minute," Sam said, gently placing both his hands on her shoulders. "I am sorry. I really am. And Deeks needs to know that as well. I feel _horrible _Kens. You shouldn't ever have to go through something like this, but you're pregnant and that just makes it all so much more complex… The point is, you need to know that this was a really awful accident. I didn't mean for him to get hurt, and judging my the look on your face you know that too."

Kensi's facial expression had softened slightly, her stiff stance allayed by his words, which truly did seem to be sincere.

"I know you didn't mean for this to happen Sam. I'd just… tell him you're sorry too."

"I promise you, I will," he said, kindly bringing one arm up to wrap around her shoulders. "Now let's get back in there before G and Deeks kill each other."

She chuckled and allowed herself to be lead back down the hall by Sam. When they crossed back into Deeks' room, she was happy to see Callen seated in the chair beside him, both men furiously diving into their bowls of pasta.

"You're the best babe," Deeks said, looking up to greet Kensi with a mouth full of food, somehow still grinning as he spoke. "Pesto pasta is the bomb. For real. You rock."

"The best medicine," she said, smiling and coming to stand in front of his bed, while Sam still lingered close by.

He didn't do well with apologies- they weren't really one of his strong suits, especially when it came to someone who he'd bickered with incessantly for years on end.

But in this case, a well worded and carefully though out '_I'm sorry'_ was in order, just as Kensi had previously suggested.

"So, um, man… I'm sorry about all of this. I never should've let you clear that floor alone."

He couldn't help but agree, mouth overflowing with pasta. "Yeah, probably not your brightest idea."

Sam shot a look to Kensi- he didn't appreciate Deeks' sarcasm. She immediately retaliated with a soft glare towards her partner, effortlessly communicating without words.

Deeks easily took the hint, his stance changing slightly. He dropped his bowl of pasta back to the rollaway table, running one hand through his hair and clearing his throat. "I… I appreciate it. And I know this wasn't your fault."

"Good."

"Good."

They both grinned at one another, and there was a momentary, _almost-but-not-really-awkward _silence that ensued. As usual though, Kensi was quick to fill it.

"Can someone please give me my food? I am dining for two here, as you all love to forget."

Callen stood up, smirked and handed her a brown paper bag, which held a piping hot plastic container of pasta.

"Pasta with red sauce, extra parmesan- just as you requested."

"Thanks G," she replied with a grin, grabbing the bag from his hand and plopping down in the chair which he'd been occupying only moments ago, but had quickly given up to Kensi so she could sit beside her husband.

The minute she sat down Kensi automatically snapped the lid off her pasta bowl and dove in, practically shoveling the noodles into her mouth.

Everybody paused for a good thirty seconds, waiting for Kensi to look up and realize that they were all staring at her- Deeks in particular who had a rather bemused look on his face.

"What?" She asked, finally looking up meet their gaze, her words muffled by the obscene amounts of food that were filling her mouth.

"Oh nothing," Deeks said, chuckling and glancing up towards the ceiling before picking up his bowl of food once again. "Our little mutant ninja assassins are going to have _amazing _genes, that's all."

Sam raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Mutant ninja assassins?"

There was no delay in his quick reply. "Well, they're gonna be fighting for the side of justice, naturally."

Kensi nodded in humored agreement. "Naturally."


	28. Staying Put

**Hello everyone! There's a ton of dialogue in this chapter, but I've heard that is what you guys like to read, so I really hope you all enjoy it! I certainly enjoy writing it, as it feels very true to the characters and their personalities. :) **

**Please review as always! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

The team finished eating their lunch together, Deeks continuously cracking jokes about his mere 'flesh wound' and their little ninja assassins. Rather quickly though, Sam and Callen had to get back to the office- they couldn't stay away all day.

Once Kensi and Deeks were alone once again, she had to ask him a question that had been tugging at mind all day. With the events that had occurred over the past couple of days she had almost forgotten about it completely, but now that everything seemed to be returning to normal, the previous memories were persistently flooding back into her mind.

For the most part, the day that Deeks had been shot and the week leading up to it had all been a blurred memory- she was only just recently beginning to gain it all back.

"Deeks?"

"Yeah babe?" He asked, mouth quite full as he dug into a jello cup. Much to Kensi's chagrin, Deeks had actually managed to hide that one from her.

She bit rather aggressively at her right thumbnail, somewhat apprehensive as she asked him a question. "Who did you call the other night?"

Deeks immediately stopped chewing, the movement of his jaw slowing down until he just swallowed down whatever was left in his mouth.

"Huh?"

"The other night," Kensi began, rotating forward, leaning both arms on the railing of his bed and resting her chin on her hands. "We were talking, and you said that you had to make a call, so you just stepped out and left. I never asked you what it was about, and I was just wondering…"

Deeks furrowed his eyebrows, as if he was trying to remember himself. The memory quickly came to him though, as it was rather rare that he ever kept anything from Kensi, so the thought definitely stood out in his mind.

"Oh, right!"

He sat his jello cup down on the table and pushed himself up in bed, shaking his head just the tiniest bit as he recalled their past conversation.

"I um…. I called Hetty."

She looked to be totally floored. "At 8:00 on a Wednesday?"

"It's not like she was doing anything."

Kensi laughed: he obviously wasn't getting her point. "But _why?"_

Deeks swallowed hard, leaving a momentary silence where all that could be heard was the ticking of respirators and heart monitors.

"Well, it was going to be a surprise, but I guess that's not really an option anymore."

Deeks cleared his throat and Kensi just waited, the anticipation building up inside of her as she raised her eyebrows during the quietness.

"I've hardly ever used up any of my vacation days in the past couple of years, and since they've been slowly accumulating... Hetty is, um, going to let me go on maternity leave with you. It sounds crazy but it's just for just a little while, probably not for the entire three months that you get off- but I'll get to be with you for at least a couple of weeks."

Kensi was stunned. Floored. Baffled and almost out of words.

"No way," she whispered, her face changing as she sat up, still leaving her arms dangling over the side of his bed. "You're gonna stay with me?"

In that moment she sounded so small, so childlike- and it was something that was completely out of character for Kensi. When he did something like that though, something that was so selfless and solely for her sake- she honestly couldn't react any other way.

Kensi knew how much Deeks loved his job, and how restless he got when he was away from it. She also understood how much he disliked working without her though, and a short break with his wife and new baby would do wonders for his intellect, she was certain.

Deeks was loving her reaction, as he hadn't been entirely certain how she was going to respond when he divulged that little secret to her.

"Yeah… that was the plan."

Kensi was extremely hormonal, and his sweet natured attitude wasn't helping matters any. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she couldn't subdue them.

Deeks slowly raised one hand up to brush the hair away from Kensi's face and laughed, making no effort to stifle it. "Are you _crying?"_

"Shut up," Kensi whispered, wiping her eyes and giggling at his comment. He shouldn't have been so shocked by that point in time- she tended to cry _a lot _when he acted like that.

Deeks sat up as far as he could in bed, which wasn't far at all- so Kensi moved closer in, resting her head on his lap. Deeks chuckled and leaned forward, kissing the top of Kensi's head- he adored the sound of her laugh.

"I love ya, Fern."

* * *

"I think it's going to be a girl."

That comment came randomly and out of nowhere from Deeks as he laid in his hospital bed, Kensi still sitting loyally by his side. A couple of hours had passed and she was no longer crying- they'd moved past that.

Deeks had been looking at her for around five minutes straight, trying to decide when it was the right time to say what was on his mind.

It sounded strange, but Deeks loved watching her concentrate. Kensi was staring at the television, eyes slightly narrowed as tried to decide what to watch. She always had a certain, fierce look on her face, and Deeks couldn't help but find it cute. Kensi truly was intense in all aspects of her life, and that included something as inane as choosing which show to watch.

She was just flipping through the channels on the TV, but her fingers immediately stopped moving when he made that comment. She twisted her head around to look at him, a mixture of confusion and bewilderment written out plainly on her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"The baby!" He exclaimed with a toothy grin, pointing down to her stomach. "The little mutant ninja assassin! I think it's going to be a girl. Actually, I'm rather _certain _it's going to be a girl."

Kensi chuckled and turned the volume down on the television, adjusting her body to give Deeks her full attention- it sounded like they were going to have a rather interesting conversation.

"What makes you so sure? Are you physic now? Or are your spidey senses tingling?"

"No, just exceptionally intuitive."

Kensi's forehead quickly morphed into a crease, but she allowed him to continue on. "Okay. Explain."

Deeks cleared his throat, as if he was about to give Kensi some sort of a presentation. "Well, in the books I've been reading-"

"Here we go."

"Come on! They're helpful, really!"

She sighed. "Fine, fine- continue."

"Thank you." He smiled and nodded in appreciation. "As I was saying, all the pregnancy books have little keys and charts that can give you hints as to whether you're having a girl or a boy."

"I thought we wanted to be surprised!"

"We do- but it's still fun to try and guess. Here," Deeks pulled out a book from the table on the right side of his bed; somehow Kensi had failed to notice it before. "I'll show you."

"Where did that come from?" Kensi asked, absolutely baffled as to how it got from their newly shared apartment to his hospital room, as she had hardly left his side for even five minutes since they both arrived there.

Deeks looked to be almost shy in his response, but his wide, crooked grin showed that he wasn't too timid about his love for those pregnancy books.

"It's been in my backpack this whole time."

Kensi's heart almost melted from the adorable expression he was giving her. "Like… from work? You take them with you to _work_?"

"One. I take _one _with me to work."

Kensi grinned and rolled her eyes, walking over so she could read along with him.

He whipped it open, flipping through the pages until he finally landed on one with a sticky note attached to it. "These are all things that you do, which means that we're having a girl. See? Look. You sleep on your right side, you've been super nauseous all the time, you've been wanting lemon flavored _everything…" _

Kensi was perched over Deeks' shoulder, and he stopped reading when both him and Kensi read what the next few items on the list were.

She raised her eyebrows. "You wanna finish that sentence there bud? I think you're already in pretty deep."

With a fake smile she snatched the book out of his hands, plopping back down into the plastic chair that, by that point, had practically conformed to her body.

Deeks just sucked his lips into his mouth and glanced up towards the ceiling, awaiting some dramatic reading from his wife- which was exactly what he got.

"So you're saying that this is all me? Right. Okay. Then if that's the case, it means that my skin has been breaking out, I've gained loads of extra weight in my face, I've been craving tons of sweets, I'm more graceful than usual- _that one is entirely true, _and... I'm extremely moody."

She stopped speaking and slowly lifted her head back up to look at Deeks, who was giving her the most adorable and overly enthusiastic smile that he could possibly manage.

"I didn't necessarily mean _all _of it, but you have been a bit moody lately…"

"Deeks!" She exclaimed, lightly swatting him on the arm. "You got shot. I think that's a good excuse to be moody."

He shrugged. "It is."

Kensi narrowed her eyes, seeing straight through his hazy field of lies. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

He honestly couldn't help but chuckle at her accusation, still professing his innocence. "No! Kensi, I don't think you're crazy. But if the question is do I think you're hormonal… then yes. Yes I do."

There was no real use in disputing his claims whatsoever- they were true. "So what's your point then?"

Deeks pointed to the book that Kensi had stolen from his lap. "We're having a girl. That's my point."

She laughed, dropping any sort of an annoyed front she'd held up before. "You're only saying that because you want it to be true."

"I would be happy either way. But I just know I'm right."

"Someone's certainly smug."

"Well, I've learned from the best."

"Hopefully our children won't inherit those traits."

He raised his eyebrows at her use of the plural form. "Children? As in more than one? There isn't something you need to tell me, is there?"

"No, no," she said, laughing as her cheeks turned just the slightest bit red. "I meant child."

"Did you really though?"

"Come on, Deeks."

Half his face was pulled up into a crooked grin, the type of smile that pretty much encapsulated Deeks as a person. "I felt like something was implied there."

"What, that I want more than one kid?"

"Yes. Exactly that."

They fell into silence, each holding the other's steady gaze. Deeks had Kensi trapped in a corner, and there really wasn't anything that she could say or do to get out of that particular conversation.

"Well… maybe I do want more than one kid. Would that be so bad?"

Deeks' expression of sarcasm and amusement was gone, one of surprise and genuine happiness moving in to take its place.

"No! That wouldn't be bad at all."

Kensi just nodded, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Good."

Deeks sort of shrugged, still rather mystified. "Good."

They both stared at each other for a moment before Deeks just had to inject some humor into the situation.

"It will be tough when we both go back to work though. Lots of assassins running around. I'm sure they would be a handful at any daycare."

"We won't have to worry about daycare if you keep getting yourself shot."

Deeks cackled at her word choice. "_Getting _myself shot? What do you think I do, antagonize them or something? I don't really think I had much of a choice in the matter. Bullets are fast little devils. They've proven themselves to be pretty hard to catch while they fly through the air."

Kensi immediately rolled her eyes and crossed her arms firmly across her chest, but Deeks just kept talking.

"I'm fine. Like the doctors said, it's just a flesh wound."

"And two bruised ribs."

Deeks was proving to be rather difficult that day- he was obviously feeling much better. "Same difference."

"Not at all, actually."

"I'm a tough bastard, what can I say."

"You still got _shot,_ Deeks."

"Really? I had no clue."

"Seriously, again with the sarcasm?"

"It's my thing."

"You shouldn't keep pretending like it's nothing, and that _I'm_ the one who's insane for thinking that this is all, at the very least, the slightest bit alarming."

"I'm fine, Kens. Honestly."

"Ha! Funny. It's almost like you're my husband who I had to watch get shot yesterday! Wouldn't it be crazy if that was the case? Oh, right- it is."

Deeks loved when she began to talk like him- all succinct and charming with her cheeky mannerisms. "Don't get snarky with me Blye."

"I don't think it's called being snarky when I'm funny _and_ right. I think it's called being smart."

"Well you just showed me who's boss, now didn't you?"

She couldn't help but chuckle at the stupid, immovable grin he had plastered across his face.

"Everyday Marty. You married me, so get used to it."


	29. Loose Ends

**Just so you guys know, I think I'm going to keep updating this story until I honestly **_**can't **_**anymore. I really love writing it, so I'm not going to rush anything and we'll just see how long it takes for us to reach the end! **

**I do believe that I will try my best to continue writing up until we reach the season premiere, just to help keep you all sane:)**

**P.S. I'm gonna ask an extra special '_pretty please'_ that you would all leave a nice little review today, as it is my birthday! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

Kensi had run back to Deeks' apartment early the next morning, solely so that she could tend to his, or _their _little pup Monty, who had been being looked after by Nell.

When she returned, probably only one hour after she'd first departed, Kensi's heart still fluttered, nearly palpitating as she walked back into the room. Her partner was sound asleep in bed, motionless under a bounty of pain medication.

Though it was a vain, repetitious thing to do, the first thing Kensi always did when she entered Deeks' hospital room was check the screen beside his bed for activity.

As always, she was pleased to see regular green spikes rising and lowering, along with a recurring sound that matched their beat- it meant that Deeks was alive. And she was glad for that fact, which she still considered to be a miracle.

They had already passed through the danger zone, and came out of it well and clear. That fact didn't necessarily matter to Kensi's subconscious though, as she still hated seeing him lying in a hospital bed, his chest wrapped up in bandages. Deeks honestly did look sicker than he truly was when he was positioned so stagnant, his body inactive and motionless.

Despite all that, she knew that he was fine though, and allowed the panic in her chest to recede slightly as she stood at the end of his bed, watching the slow rising and lowering of his chest.

He was hooked up to probably fifteen different monitors, and Kensi felt rather crazy for thinking that they wouldn't be alerting the doctors and nurses if something was actually wrong with him.

That was Kensi at the moment though: somewhat emotionally unstable and overprotective as hell.

Quiet as a mouse she made her way over to sit by his side, hoping that the clacking of her shoes against the hard, overly bleached tile floors wouldn't make any sort of a startling sound.

Still though, as she tiptoed about the rather spacious room, Deeks was somehow awakened from his slumber. He cracked one about halfway eye open, grinning when he saw that his favorite girl was sitting beside him.

Without warning, Deeks reached out to grab his partner's hand in an almost automatic sort of way, as if it was just something that they always did. He gently laced his fingers between Kensi's, not making an effort to move any part of his body besides his head, which he sluggishly rotated towards her, mind still stuck in a bit of a fog.

"Hey Kens." His tone was quiet and soft to match his relaxed demeanor.

"Hey." Kensi cocked her head to one side, speaking in a similar manor.

It certainly was no secret that Deeks usually was at his sweetest when he first woke up. She had no real idea why… he just was. He conducted himself in a kind and gentle way; not that he didn't normally act like that, he just seemed to do it exponential amounts when he was tired.

But as Deeks slowly regained full conciousness, he allowed another one of his very best personality traits to seep back into play, working alongside the sweetness- his cheeky attitude.

"So where did you go this morning?" Deeks asked, a yawn cutting his sentence in two.

She responded to his query with yet another question. "How do you know that I haven't been here the whole time?"

Deeks shrugged, still not bothering to sit fully upright in bed. "I can sense you presence."

She narrowed her eyes slightly, searching for the real truth that was hidden somewhere in his baby blues. "Did you wake up?"

"Maybe for a minute," he replied, only mildly sheepish as he still wore a toothy grin. "So… where'd ya go?"

"Back to your apartment for a bit," she said, smilingand gently removing her hand from his, patting it before reaching down to the ground, fishing around for something in her backpack. "I brought you this."

It was Deeks' favorite blanket, the throw that he always left strewn over the side of the couch.

"A little taste of home for you. I thought it might brighten the room up a bit."

Deeks chuckled nervously, finally getting around to sitting up in bed. "I'm not gonna be in here for that much longer, am I?"

"No, you aren't, but I still thought it would be nice," she said firmly with a smile, unfolding the blanket and spreading it over his legs. "Good?"

"Good," he answered simply, resting his head back against the tall mountain of pillows that he was propped up against.

"You're the best wife _ever_," Deeks added, his tone continuing to be, _at the very least,_ mildly sarcastic.

"I know."

He gawked at her rather egotistical words. "You've been so smug recently, Blye! I don't know what's come over you."

"I just speak the truth. I'm an awesome wife, awesome partner… you've got yourself a pretty good gig here."

"That I do. We're just like Romeo and Juliet."

She chuckled and widened her eyes just a hilt at his odd comparison. "Are you sure you don't mean Mr. and Mrs. Smith?"

Deeks was adamant in making his point. "No. I mean Romeo and Juliet."

Kensi ran one hand through her hair, eyebrows furrowed. "I sure as hell hope not."

"Why?" Deeks obviously didn't remember much about their love story from the high school days- he solely knew that their tale was a romantic one.

"For starters: you haven't poisoned yourself, and I haven't stabbed myself in the gut with a dagger."

"Geez. It really ended badly for those two kids, huh?"

"Just about as bad as it gets."

"I think our version would make a much better story."

"Ha! Alright. So Romeo gets shot and Juliet gets knocked up?"

"I was going to phrase it in a better way, but that would be one hell of a twist."

"That it would Deeks… that it would."

Her partner was _definitely _feeling better, and clearly Kensi had nothing to worry about when it came to his well being.

"Hopefully our love story will end differently than theirs did."

Kensi laughed at his blanket statement, relaxing back in her chair. "Well, as long as you don't buy poison from a creepy apothecaty because you think I'm dead, then we should be in the clear."

"I'll try to hold myself back."

Kensi chuckled and rubbed her eyes- it was alarming to her how easily they were able to get off on a tangent, ending in a completely different place than where their little chat began.

"This certainly morphed into a weird conversation."

"Oh yeah?"

"It's one for the history books, I'm sure."

Deeks shot her his best crooked smile. "You can write about it in that diary of yours."

She narrowed her eyes to slits. "We've discussed this. It's a _journal_, Deeks."

"I'm sorry, but what's the difference exactly?"

"I'm not a ten year old, so that may be a large part of it."

"But you still write about the same type of stuff in there. So... I'm guessing a good chunk of your _diary_ is dedicated to me."

Kensi just stared at him and smirked, raising her eyebrows and not giving him any sort of a spoken answer.

"Good to know Kens. Good to know."

* * *

Deeks' condition continued to improve daily, as each day he returned more and more to his cheeky, fun-loving self. He'd never really lost that side of himself so to speak; it had just disappeared for a day or so before making a reappearance.

But as Kensi knew all too well from their past conversations, Deeks was _definitely _feeling better- it was evident in practically everything he did.

Slowly but surely his gaping wounds began to close, becoming scars, and Kensi was hopeful that ultimately one day, however long down the road it might be, the scars would eventually fade away.

Not the external ones per say, as they both knew that a quarter-sized scar would forever be imprinted into his shoulder; Kensi meant the internal scars.

Though he never showed it, Kensi knew that none of this was as easy as it seemed for her partner. He failed to hardly ever show any hint of external pain, though she knew he felt it. There was no possible way that he could avoid it. Getting shot was disconcerting, to say the very least- Kensi knew the feeling all too well, as she'd had to experience it herself.

Feeling the life practically drain from your fingertips, as you dangled on the brink of death. Pushing yourself to keep your eyes widened, as you were certain that if you clamped them shut you may never be able to get them open again.

Kensi had felt the panic in a similar but only vaguely different way, because she knew what it was like to be standing in those crosshairs. Watching him bleed out… Kensi had known exactly how it all felt- she understood it better than most anyone else. She felt the pain. She felt the risk. She felt the gamble that he'd taken with death, the one that he'd won despite the poor odds.

On that particular November day though- things were different. Life was _good, _because they were leaving the hospital.

Deeks was up and moving about, with only the tiniest hitch in his step.

"I can't wait to get out of here," Deeks muttered to Kensi, his upper body perched over his backpack as he stuffed a few miscellaneous items back inside of it. "The whole place smells like bleach."

"Yeah, well you tend to get that when you're in a hospital."

He stuck his lower lip out, contemplating her words. "It's not just that though. The male nurse… Greg or whatever his name is, who works two rooms down... he's been checking you out. I don't like it."

She chuckled at his frank analysis of the situation. "I'm pregnant, Deeks. That usually tends to deter men away."

"Oh my god... you're bringing that back again, aren't you?

"Excuse me?" She wasn't catching on.

"Was that a _humble brag_?"

"No!"

"Yes it was! You're saying that despite men _usually _not checking out women who are pregnant, guys still are still attracted to you. I get it, I mean you are _glowing_, but still."

"That's not what I'm saying at all!"

"Yes it is." He smirked.

Kensi just rolled her eyes. "Whatever Deeks. I'm still pregnant, and that's a fact."

He stood up, pulling the top zipper closed. "Maybe, but it's true... you're not like _really _pregnant. You just look like you ate a heavy lunch or something."

"That isn't true in the slightest, but compliment accepted. I think you're just being paranoid though."

"Paranoid, or instinctive?"

Kensi stuck her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, smirking as he took two steps towards her. "Paranoid. Definitely paranoid."

The crooked smile that Deeks wore was overpowering in its adorableness, she couldn't help but break into a grin herself.

"Whatever you say."

He leaned in towards her slowly, just about to press his lips to hers when there was a faint knock at the already opened door. They both pulled away quickly, Kensi's cheeks turning pink and Deeks' expression morphing into something resembling a glare, one that was solely directed at whoever had just interrupted their little moment.

Who else would be cowering in doorway besides male nurse Greg, looking totally and completely taken aback by the public display of affection that he had just walked in on.

"Sorry, um… your check out time is in twenty minutes. Just thought I'd let you know."

Deeks' level of annoyance merely grew with the inane statement, so his reply was short and blunt as he shot the nurse a toothless smile, eyes narrowed. "Thanks."

Greg nodded and pulled the door shut behind him as he left, moving as far away from that room at the fastest rate that he could possibly manage.

Kensi chuckled, raising her eyebrows and crossing her arms across her chest, a rather bemused look shining through her tough exterior. "I think you scared him."

Deeks shrugged, sliding his hands casually into his pockets. "That was the goal."

Kensi rolled her eyes and shook her head as Deeks took two steps closer, closing the small gap that existed between them, grinning like an idiot all the while.

"Now… where were we?"

She placed one hand gently on his chest as he moved in, stopping him before his lips could touch hers. "Sorry loverboy. It's time to go."

Suddenly Deeks looked like a rejected ten year old boy. "But he said twenty minutes!"

"I still have to check you out."

"Yeah, you do." She'd made it way too easy for Deeks to insert a joke there, and he eagerly jumped at the opportunity.

Kensi rolled her eyes, moaning at his overzealous attitude in regards to the anecdote. "We have to check _you _out Deeks. Out of the _hospital."_

She grinned and spun around, grabbing her purse from the recliner in the corner. Kensi was out the door in no time, leaving Deeks to play catch-up.

"Come on Romeo. Let's get you home."


	30. Settle Down

**M****y computer has darn near exploded people! Thanks so much for the support and happy birthday wishes, you're all amazing. I'm so sorry that it's taken me a few days longer than usual to update- school just started again and I'm as busy as a beaver! (I tried to give you guys lots of dialogue in this chapter to make up for it though:)**

**As usual, please leave me your thoughts on this chapter in the review section below! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

"This is literally the best thing ever," Deeks whispered, voice muffled as he collapsed down face first onto his bed.

It was the first place the poor guy had gone when he wandered back inside the apartment later that night- Monty was barely even able to lick his leg before Deeks was across the room, dumping his bags on the couch and making a dash for his bed.

Hospital cots weren't _horrible _necessarily, but it was undeniable that they didn't share the same amount of luxury as his own bed did.

Deeks was a homebody, and he loved nothing more than staying curled up on the couch with his wife and dog- which was exactly what he planned to spend the next little while doing, as Deeks was still on leave for two more days.

Kensi chuckled and sat down beside him, dropping her backpack to the side of their bed before climbing up to sit on it herself. She was maneuvering around slowly, as her growing baby bump was beginning to get in the way of normal, everyday activates that she'd grown accustomed to doing easily.

"I can imagine you'd feel that way. It certainly has been a little while."

Deeks had momentarily forgotten about his wife's presence, so as she spoke he instantly turned over to lie on his back, propping his head up on one elbow with a huge grin plastered to his face, staring at Kensi as a flurry of thoughts danced around in his mind- one in particular standing out amongst the rest.

"Are you excited for tomorrow?"

Kensi grinned at his enthusiasm. "Yeah. Sort of."

"_Sort of? _We get to see our child for the first time! Like, how are you not _flipping out_ Fern?"

Deeks reached one arm out and jokingly shook Kensi's knee, providing proof of his own gusto in regards to the situation.

Kensi grinned and turned her head to the side in an attempt to hide her ever-growing smile. "I am excited… I just don't like going to the doctor. You know that."

"I haven't been shot today, so it should be a step up from the last time we went."

"Hmm. Well, let's see here…" Kensi looked down to check her watch. "We still have about twelve hours until the appointment, so I'm sure you could manage to stir up some trouble between now and then."

"Is that some kind of a sick and twisted request? Do you _want_ me to get shot again?"

"No, not at all. It's just that you just seem to do it quite often."

"Twice, but who's counting. And I'm pretty sure it's just the line of work we're in. That's what you get for marrying the jungle cat."

Deeks smirked proudly at his revival of that lovely phrase. Except this time around, he wasn't referring to it on an undercover mission.

"You obviously aren't that much of a jungle cat if you can't dodge a bullet."

"It's really not as easy as you make it out to be."

She thought a beat and said, "I've never been shot."

"Yes you have! I watched it happen!"

"But I was shot in my vest. That's totally different. You've been shot, _for real, _two times."

He glanced around the room, shoulders slumped as he tried to add more proof to his case. "Two bullets hit me in the vest."

"That doesn't change the fact that two bullets _missed_ your vest."

Deeks sighed in defeat. "Touché."

Kensi beamed, relishing in the fact that she'd won their little war-of-words.

Deeks quickly began to speak again though, catching her just the tiniest bit off guard. "Since you keep doubting me, when we go to the doctor tomorrow we can see that it's a girl _for sure_… if you want."

"You wanted to be surprised," she stated simply, eyebrows furrowed.

"I know. And I still do! The anticipation is just killing me a little, that's all."

"I thought you were certain it was a girl! Remember? You have all your concrete data points, scientific bar graphs, studies about gender anomalies-"

"Hey, hey," he said, sitting up straight and putting both hands up in the air. "Don't mock, alright? All the stuff I've been reading is _true, _one-hundred percent."

"How can you be sure?"

"I can't. But I was right about Greg at the hospital, and my spidey senses are totally tingling this time around."

"I thought you were the jungle cat, not Spiderman."

"I'm a man of many talents, you know that. The studies that I've been reading truly are mind-bending though."

Kensi was perfectly happy with being sarcastic by this point, so she just went along with it. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. I used to hate reading, and they've _totally_ changed my mind…"

"Excellent! So does the new one work better?

Kensi snorted with laughter at her own joke as Deeks' expression morphed into something new, a look that almost resembled pride, as she normally wasn't the quick and witty one out of the two of them.

"Ooooh. Good one. How long have you been holding onto it?"

Kensi didn't even try to disguise anything from him as she continued to laugh. "Awhile."

"It's not very funny."

"I laughed, and I think the baby did as well."

"Oh, did _she_ now?" he asked, chuckling and pointedly acknowledging his gender preference.

"Uh-huh. I'm pretty positive I just felt a little jolt inside my stomach."

"Sure you did, Fern. With all that aside though, I'm predicting that everything will go _smashingly,_" throwing a bit of a british accent in at the end for good measure.

Kensi sighed, getting her breathing back under control after she'd lost it momentarily. "If you say so."

"I do." Deeks smiled a toothy grin, one that was overly enthusiastic and showed both rows of his teeth.

"You know Kens, there's something else that we still need to talk about… at some point."

Kensi plainly wore a look of confusion- she wasn't catching on. "What do you mean?"

He glanced down to the bedsheets, picking up the corner of a throw blanket to pick at the ends. "Well... need to buy a house."

She was completely taken aback by his statement, as Deeks had managed to suddenly switch from such a mindless topic of conversation to one of a more serious nature.

"What? But… why?"

Deeks smiled, jetting his chin out just an inch further in confusion.

"What do you mean _why_? I thought the reasoning behind it was completely obvious."

She chuckled and glanced down towards her stomach. "Because I'm pregnant?"

It was much more of a statement than an actual question, but Deeks still returned with an answer- one that was clearly sarcastic in nature.

"Yes. Exactly that."

She smirked and rolled her eyes, returning them back to Deeks with a slightly more serious expression. "It's nice here though, and I literally just moved out of my place to come here… so what's the big rush?"

His answer came almost immediately as he gestured to her stomach once again. "You're gonna have that baby in roughly four months, right?"

Kensi shrugged. "Three and a half, give or take."

"Exactly… And I know you Kens. You're not gonna want to move after you have the baby, and I'm guessing that you don't want to raise it here, in my teeny-tiny apartment that we're now _both_ living in."

She nodded in agreement as he spoke, but listened closely as a hint of tease seeped into his voice towards the end. "Anything you wanna add there, Deeks? Now is probably a good time to get everything out on the table, since we did get married around three months ago."

He chuckled, looking down to the bed. "Kens… you just have a lot of stuff, and-"

"I have a normal amount of stuff Deeks. An _entirely normal _amount."

"You sure? Because if I called up the producers of _Hoarders _I am certain they would say otherwise…"

She laughed and lightly kicked him in the side with her foot; he was wearing a rather smug grin.

"I hate you."

"No, you love me."

"That's a good point."

Deeks laughed loudly and fell back over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "What do I always have to remind you of that? I feel like you should probably know it by now."

Kensi smiled, but looked down in an effort to hide it. "I don't know Deeks… even after all this time, I still don't mind you reminding me."

He was still laughing. "That I love you? Or that you love me?"

"A bit of both. But mostly the latter. You can be kind of annoying sometimes."

"I'm charming, endearing, loveable and charismatic, but _never _annoying."

"Never is a harsh word…"

Deeks' face had morphed into a crooked smile, the type that caused Kensi to momentarily stop breathing and force her heart up into her throat. "You love me baby. I know that you do."

This time it was Kensi who sighed in defeat. "It's true. You win."

"Really? Ha! I'm fairly certain this is the first time that's _ever_ happened."

"Deeks…" Kensi said warningly, raising one finger in the air.

"What? I was actually beginning to quite enjoy this conversation."

"Come on. It's too late for this."

"No it's not. Because you're adorable when you get angry."

"I'm not angry."

"Just a little bit. Or maybe you're always this cute? Like you said, it's late, so I honestly can't tell."

"I'd stop while you're still ahead."

"I'm ahead?"

Kensi chuckled, yawning and patting her partner on the shoulder while she slipped off the side of the bed.

"Sure, Deeks. But let's go to bed now, or you won't be for much longer."


	31. Pressure

**You guys are too nice to me! Thank you for all the reviews and PMs- it means a lot that you guys are still into the story, and want me to continue! Please review as always! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"What time is the appointment at again?" Kensi asked as she sat in the passenger seat of her car, actually allowing Deeks to drive it- which was rare. She'd been nervously ranting off little questions and suggestions since they'd first gotten in the car to drive to the doctor's office, rambling incessantly to fill the time.

Deeks was entirely calm about the situation, and didn't mind allowing Kensi to take out her anxiety on him. "Noon. The appointment is at noon."

Through his peripheral vision, Deeks could see Kensi's eyes bounce around the front of the car as she looked for the time that was electronically written somewhere on the dashboard.

"Kens- it's 11:36, and we're about five minutes away. We're early."

She took a breath and relaxed back against her seat, as still, somehow, badgering him made everything feel a little bit less stressful for Kensi. As she had stated adamantly the night before, Kensi immensely disliked going to the doctors office, even if it was for a _good _thing, as opposed to what they were usually in for.

The stark white walls and beeping of machinery made her feel claustrophobic, and almost queasy somehow. She was usually taken back in time to instances that she wished she'd be able to forget; moments in time that she wouldn't miss whatsoever if they were erased from her memory.

In addition to all that, Kensi was feeling a mix of emotions that she'd become all too familiar with over the past couple of months- the mix of excitement and terror. That was the day that they got to see their baby for the very first time, but it was also the day when everything became _real. _And that morning, as she got ready to go, the strong mixture of odd reactions that she was feeling in regards to the situation began to hit her, all at once_._

They were going to be parents. And that thought alone was absolutely petrifying.

"...And Deeks, remember not to bother this guy with loads of comments about your _baby- gender hypotheses, _okay?"

As Kensi continued her incoherent mumbles, only stopping sporadically for air, Deeks finally reached one hand across the median, intertwining his fingers with hers. "It will all be fine, _ye of little faith_."

Her heart rate spiked slightly at his words; Kensi didn't enjoy it when Deeks was able to stay so level headed in those types of situations, as she didn't share the same luxury. "Deeks-"

"Kens. It's going to be fine," Deeks stated firmly, interjecting once more. "Just take a breath. What are you so nervous about anyways? We've already done this once before."

Kensi's heart lurched up into her throat as her head slowly lowered, eyes gazing down upon her protruding stomach.

She had yet to inform Deeks of the real hidden reasons behind her anxiety, and still wasn't sure that she wanted to. He had been so calm throughout the entire situation- which was the polar opposite of how she'd expected him to react.

Kensi had remained quiet on the exterior, and somewhat relaxed on the interior as well. Still, as her due date neared closer and closer, the worry continued to mount up inside until it became almost impossible to be held in.

She was certain that Deeks would be an amazing father- he had always been wonderful with kids. Kensi on the other hand didn't exactly have strong maternal instincts, at least when it came to what she'd seen from herself in the past.

There had been a few moments over the years in which she'd recognized the joy that having kids might bring to her life- but those moments had been few and scarce, not proving to her undoubtedly that she'd actually be a good parent in the end, if she really did get pregnant one day.

Since everything regarding the new baby as well as her relationship with Deeks had progressed at such an insanely fast rate, Kensi had barely even come by one calm, relaxed moment to process the substantial weight of it all. It had begun to run through her mind that morning, sure, but not in the same mind-boggling way that it did in that moment.

Kensi knew that she'd have to juggle the work that went along with having a life-threatening job, a child, and a husband who shared the same profession as she did, one that made life both incredibly fulfilling as well as painstakingly daunting, all at the same time.

So many different questions were bouncing around in the chasms of her mind, making it nearly impossible to focus on anything besides her worries. Playing the what-if game with her subconscious was something that Kensi did quite often, but that didn't make it any less aggravating when it happened.

_Will I be a good mom? What if something goes wrong? What if I get hurt? What if Deeks gets shot again? Who will take care of our kid? What if I can't be an agent anymore? What if Hetty wants me to leave the team?_

It was in that car ride that all of her hormone–induced emotions bubbled up towards the surface, becoming well apparent to Deeks by the tears that welled up in her eyes and began rolling down her cheeks like rivulets.

Deeks heard her sniffle once, which was enough of an indicator that something wasn't right to force him to turn his head in her direction, immediately alarmed by her outward display of strong emotions, all coming out at once.

"Kens! Are you alright?"

She tried to get her breathing under some sort of manageable control, but by that point it was really no use. She was already heaving, the tears overwhelming her as she unsuccessfully tried to rein her emotions back in.

His overprotective side kicked into high gear, and since she wasn't responding to his question, Deeks couldn't tell if Kensi was just upset or having some sort of an anxiety attack.

He pulled off the road as quickly as he could and into a random parking lot, one that looked like it used to belong to a now run-down grocery store.

Slipping the car into park, Deeks turned to fully face his partner. Kensi was leaned forward, head in her hands and elbows perched on her kneecaps.

Unsure of what else to do, Deeks ran one hand soothingly over her back as his forehead morphed into a crease, his face easily giving away the sense of confusion he was feeling towards her sudden outburst.

"Kens…"

He didn't want to ask the same question that he had before again, as Deeks already knew the answer: she wasn't alright. He just had no clue why.

Kensi began to regain her normal breathing, and allowed the pounding in her chest to recede slightly at the soft touch of his hand drawing circles on her back. He saw that she was searching for words and waited for her to speak, rather than continuing to press.

"Deeks…" Kensi sat up slowly one vertebrate at a time to look at him, her eyes and cheeks both red and puffy. "I don't think I can do this."

Deeks' heart tore at her whispered, teary-eyed confession. There was nothing more that she needed to add- he knew exactly what she meant. Deeks swallowed hard and blinked slowly, trying to formulate the best response he could muster.

Leaning his face down close to hers, Deeks responded to her statement with a question. "Do you trust me?"

Kensi nodded in minor perplexity; she had no idea what he was going to say, but was more than willing to listen.

Deeks brushed the air out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear before speaking. "Then believe me when I say that you're going to be _amazing _at this. I promise."

Kensi smiled half-heartedly before glancing back down to her lap, solely so she wouldn't have to meet Deeks' firm gaze. "But with my mom-"

"Kens," Deeks gently tapped two fingers beneath Kensi's chin to make her lift her head. She did as she was supposed to and returned to look at Deeks, tears still glistening in her eyes and giving them a light, glossy sheen.

"None of that matters. You aren't her, and this is an entirely different situation. You have me. I'm not going anywhere."

She grinned, this time more believably. "I know… just don't get shot again."

Deeks chuckled as he moved forward, planting a kiss on the top of her head. "I won't get shot again. Or I'll at least try not to, okay? I'm here for the long haul."

Kensi laughed and wiped her face, using one of her shirtsleeves to dry the tears that had stained her cheeks. "Good."

Taking a deep breath she glanced up towards the ceiling, and as her eyes trailed back down the interior of the car she caught Deeks' gaze, which was again more serious than it had been a moment prior.

"I mean it Kens. You'll be an amazing mom."

The uncertainty was slowly creeping back into her psyche. "How can you be so sure though?"

She didn't want to add the second part of her thought- which was that Deeks should probably be just as worried as her, as he'd had a terrible experience growing up with both of his parents, rather than just one.

Though the words were never spoken aloud, Deeks found it incredibly easy to pick up on what Kensi was thinking, as he always did.

"I'm not sure of much, but I'm sure of us. So we'll figure it out, just like we always do. I know that I'm not going to be a perfect parent, neither one of us will… it's just not possible. But you aren't your mom, and I'm sure as hell not my dad- and we've learned from their mistakes."

Kensi took solace in his words, as they weren't going in one ear and then back out the other- she heard what he was saying, and for once actually received it. Over the years of trials and tribulations, Deeks had taught her that she could believe in someone, in something- in a future family that wasn't what she'd always thought it might be: laundry, soccer practice, subdivisions, and guilt-tripping grandparents. Kensi could put her trust in him, as partners, as spouses, as parents... all of it.

"You're right."

Deeks nodded and let his eyes stray back to the glove compartment. "As long as I don't become an abusive alcoholic and you don't run off to Indiana because you think that I'm an assassin, we should be good."

Kensi chuckled and rolled her eyes, her mind re-examining the true insanity of his statement over and over again. "Our families were _really _messed up, huh?"

He couldn't help but bob his head in agreement. "They were… but we can be different. Last time I checked, you aren't crazy and neither am I."

Kensi scrunched up her nose in sarcastic dissent. "Well, you are a _little _crazy."

He shrugged. "Whatcha gonna do Fern? It looks like you're stuck with me now. Even a bullet couldn't take me out. I'm like iron man."

"I thought you were spiderman? And the jungle cat?"

"I'm many things. We're learning as we go, it can take awhile for people to catch up."

That statement managed to produce a laugh from Kensi, one that was loud and even contained a snort.

Deeks heaved a sigh of relief. "So… we're good?"

Kensi smiled and nodded in agreement, the uncertainty that had been lingering previously in her deep brown eyes long gone. "We're good."

As she turned her head to look out the side window, her eyes automatically focusing in on the rain droplets that were trickling down the outside of her car, Kensi's mind drifted elsewhere- to the incredibly kind natured spirit of the guy who sat beside her.

Deeks had always been talented when it came to making Kensi's worries fade away- he didn't brush them off as insignificant or unimportant like she'd seen other people do in the past. He _dealt _with the problems head on as they came, and was always there to reassure her when was doubting herself.

Because truthfully, despite all the chaos that surrounded them in everyday life, Deeks wanted to make it readily apparent to Kensi that even when she questioned how she would be as a mother- he didn't.

And it was as simple as that.


	32. Figure it Out

**Once again, thanks for all the love! Ya'll are absolutely wonderful… I honestly love reading your reviews, so please keep them coming- they really do make my day:)**

**Next chapter will be up very soon, I promise!**

**-Hazel**

* * *

As the two of them finished the short remainder of their drive towards the doctor's office, Kensi felt restored in some way, like Deeks' words had regenerated her from a fragile state of mind back to the way she usually was- _strong_.

Kensi didn't enjoy feeling weak in any way, she never had. But it was in those short little moments that she didn't mind allowing her mental limitations to show through, mainly when she was with Deeks.

Since they had found a way to sort everything out though, it was quite easy for Kensi to return to normal self. To go back to the person that was fearless in all situations, especially when she had Deeks to stand by her side.

When they finally arrived at the medical center, Kensi was snapped back into reality as Deeks pulled into a parking space and the car suddenly came to a halt.

"You ready?" He asked, shooting Kensi his best crooked smile.

"I am," she responded simply with a grin, this time excitement washing over her features rather than uncertainty.

Deeks nodded and they stepped out of the car, both immediately walking to meet one another on the sidewalk so they could enter into the building together.

Although they didn't stop moving for a second, _by that point they were almost running late, _Deeks still reached down and grabbed Kensi's hand. It didn't come as a surprise to her though- by that point the movement was almost automatic somehow.

It didn't seem like an out of place thing to do whatsoever as they entered the medical center, which was cluttered with people that seemed to be in the same state that they were- pregnant women walking alongside their husbands.

Some were looking some glowing and happy, others... not so much. Kensi evaluated the many different stages of pregnancy that the women were supporting- a few looked to be much further along then others.

Still though, Kensi knew internally how different their story was from anyone else's- it was unique to say the very least. Not many women could say that they had just watched their husband get shot the week before, now could they? Not in most cases.

Nobody knew the truth about them, about how their relationship began or how crazy their lives really were, but it didn't bother Kensi… _she knew. _They walked through the lobby just like everybody else, hand in hand, hopeful that their appointment would go smoothly, and silently praying that there wouldn't be any surprises waiting for them behind the bleak white walls of the doctor's office.

Kensi squeezed Deeks' hand just the slightest bit tighter as those thoughts traveled through her mind, bounding about at a rapid rate.

Deeks could sense her excitement, which was still mixed with uncertainty and quickly returned the favor, vaguely and wordlessly tightening his grip on her hand as they entered the elevator.

Kensi reached one finger up to press the button for the third floor, and Deeks had to practically flail one arm outwards in front of himself to stop the doors from slamming shut on a largely pregnant woman who was trying to force her way in after them.

"Excuse me," she muttered quietly to no one person in particular, a polite yet discreet smile upon her face as she slipped inside, immediately gravitating towards the one empty corner of the elevator, away from Kensi and Deeks.

Kensi grinned toothlessly at her, unsure of the woman's situation but somehow still instantly managing to feel sorry for her, which wasn't the typical Kensi Blye way.

Rarely did she feel anything that even scarcely resembled empathy towards people- if anything, compassion tended to annoy her rather than the reverse affect that most people experienced, even though she seemed to give it out on a daily basis.

For all she knew, the woman's husband or boyfriend could've been outside parking the car. But regardless, Kensi still viewed her seemingly lonely predicament as one that she would never, _ever_ want to be wrapped up in.

Having Deeks by her side truly was the only thing that kept Kensi from completely losing her mind at any given moment, and she really couldn't imagine going through any of it without him. The multitude of appointments, classes and prenatal vitamins that went into being pregnant was utterly exhausting.

Kensi could best describe Deeks as being her _solid ground_, since their relationship was the only thing that she could really count on to remain constant throughout the ups and downs of her life.

So as they rode the elevator in near silence, the quiet sound of a hushed piano the only noise wafting through the air space, Kensi slowly brought her head up to look at Deeks, who was just staring forward at nothing.

When she looked his direction though, Deeks' eyes immediately shot over to return her gaze. Kensi smiled softly, somehow speaking to him in a hundred silent ways. The two of them had become quite good at it, and in that moment Kensi had never been so happy to possess a single skill.

Because with just that one simple look, that one heartfelt smile which was tugging on the corners of Kensi's mouth- Deeks knew exactly what she was trying to say.

He silently heard her say thank you for being there, for staying by her side, for not making her do anything alone that she didn't want to. The gratitude was unnecessary, sure- he was her _husband _after all.

But that didn't take away from the fact that Deeks was dealing with the situation in a simply extraordinary way, and when she saw people that weren't as fortunate as her it made Kensi appreciate him all the more.

Deeks nodded to her with a crooked smile before turning away again- just as they hit the third floor and the elevator doors popped open. The woman was quick to jump out ahead of them and move swiftly to the left, while Deeks and Kensi trailed behind, taking a right and following the hallway all the way down to the door at the end.

Kensi held tightly to Deeks' hand as they entered, taking in her surroundings as she walked towards the reception desk. The room seemed light and airy, rather stuffy as it had felt to her in the past. The difference between how she was feeling the first time they went to that office and the second time was stark though, so that fact alone was probably to blame for her change in opinion.

There was a fish tank resting against the back wall, as well as a couch and four lounge chairs, which were separated by a coffee table in the center, the surface of which was cluttered by an array of various parenting and pregnancy magazines.

Kensi didn't let her eyes stray for long though, and swiftly walked towards the young blond woman that was sitting behind the reception desk.

"Excuse me? We are here for a twelve o'clock appointment with doctor…" Kensi's confidence faltered as she looked over her own shoulder at Deeks, noiselessly asking him to speak for her, as she had somehow managed to forget the name of their OB-GYN.

"Dr. Jones," Deeks said, smirking at Kensi for a split second before turning to face the receptionist. "We're here to see Dr. Jones."

The woman smiled and hit a few keys on her keyboard. "Alright… Mr. and Mrs. Deeks?" They both nodded. "Please have a seat and the doctor will see you shortly."

As they drifted towards the couch, Kensi couldn't help but chuckle at the use of her married name. She loved it, but it still seemed so oddly formal to her. It was as if when they got married she'd taken her husband's first name rather than his last, because she _never_ called him Marty. He didn't like it, and even if he had it still would've seemed like such a foreign thing to do. He was Deeks- not Marty, and certainly not Martin. Just… _Deeks._

Kensi finally dropped Deeks' hand as she sat down, picking up a random magazine from the disorderly stack. She managed to grab _Parenting, _so as she pulled it open and flipped to the third page, Deeks immediately grinned in her direction, picking up one hand and tapping the cover.

"That's one of my favorites."

Kensi rolled her eyes, still holding the pages between her fingers as she dropped it down to her lap. "Really?"

"Oh hell yeah. It's not just the books that I've been studying."

"When do you _actually_ have time to read all of these?"

He shrugged. "Usually during stakeouts… Sam and Callen don't tend to be very talkative."

Kensi chuckled as a mental image appeared in her mind, one of Sam and Callen sitting up front, making paper mache swans out of their gum wrappers while Deeks was squished in the backseat of the Challenger, flipping through parenting magazines and pregnancy books.

This thought was interrupted quickly though, as their doctor's rather animated assistant came bounding through the door to greet them. "Hello there! Please, come with me!"

Kensi shot her a forged smile, but was quick to roll her eyes in displeasure when the woman turned around. People tended to be annoyingly perky when it came to dealing with pregnant women- and for some odd reason Kensi really didn't enjoy it.

Deeks snickered quietly as they stood up, leaning down just slightly to whisper in her ear. "Easy there, Fern. Don't bite."

She stuck her tongue out at him, feigning annoyance at his calming words. Deeks grabbed her hand and drug Kensi along with him, nearly having to jog in order to catch up with the nurse.

They followed her into a boxy room, complete with two small chairs pushed up against a stark white wall, primary colored paintings and multiple diagrams, each showcasing different stages of pregnancy.

"Please take a seat, the doctor will be here in a moment!" The nurse said, giving an overzealous smile before disappearing from their sight entirely.

"Geez. She's fun," Kensi muttered, eyes wide as the door was pulled shut and she pushed herself up onto the patient's chair in the center of the room.

"She's just trying to do her job," Deeks said, laughing and not even looking at Kensi as he sat down in an flimsy plastic chair and pulled yet another magazine down from the holder in the wall.

Kensi sort of nodded; far to preoccupied by her own thoughts to even bother refuting his statement. They were consuming her mind though, and it was difficult for Kensi to allow anything else in as they hovered over her.

She held her place about halfway through the magazine with two fingers, dropping it down to her lap and staring at Deeks, who was far too preoccupied to notice.

"Hey Deeks?"

"Mmm-hmm?" He barely even acknowledged her question, and continued reading about why nightly routines are important for kids.

"Um... do you want to know?"

The statement just sort of slipped out- Kensi hadn't necessarily meant for it too, but now she just had to go along with it.

"Huh?" Deeks asked, his eyes darting away from the pages of the magazine to look at Kensi instead.

"The gender. Do you want to figure it out today, or not? You keep going back and forth, and I'd just like to know."

Her tone was soft and gentle, but still somewhat pushy. She'd agreed to wait because he'd wanted to, but now Kensi's own curiosity was beginning to get the best of her.

"Well… I don't know…" Deeks trailed off, staring at the ground as if deep in thought.

Kensi wasn't exactly patient those days, so as the seconds continuously ticked by and he was still silent, she'd finally had enough.

"Deeks! Babe, I'll do whatever you want, I just-"

"Let's do it," he stated firmly, cutting her off before she could start in on a tangent. Deeks' didn't allow her mounting impatience to get to him though, as his smiled never wavered.

"I'm serious Kens. Let's just figure it out today. I don't want our baby being forced to wear yellow for the first six months of his or her life because we have no clue what else to buy."

She chuckled. "That's why? Because you don't want our baby to wear yellow?"

Deeks shrugged, a crooked smile gracing his face once more. "It's a good reason. A wee bit superficial, but still valid."

"Alrighty then." Kensi sat up just the slightest bit straighter in her chair, a nearly serious look upon her face as she nodded in agreement. "We'll learn the gender today."

Deeks looked to be mystified in a way, and in that moment, although the topic of dicussion was rather current, Kensi and Deeks were shooting one another looks that they had usually only given out back in the days when they were merely partners. "Good."

A smile was tugging at the corners of her mouth, and for once she allowed the grin to take over and light up her entire face, Kensi's external features emulating her internal sentiments.

"Good."


	33. Sons and Daughters

**I'm not gonna hold your attention for too long up here- I just wanted to say thank you once again to my amazing readers! Your awesomeness never ceases to amaze me. As for this new chapter- we pick up right where we left off! Sorry it took me so long to post it, I've been ridiculously busy lately. If you want updates as to when I'm gonna post, feel free to follow me on tumblr, as I tend to talk to y'all pretty regularly on there!**

**Please lemme know what you think of this chapter once you finish reading:)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

_A smile was tugging at the corners of her mouth, and for once she allowed the grin to take over and light up her entire face, Kensi's external features emulating her internal sentiments._

_"Good."_

Kensi held Deeks' stare for only a second before there were three loud knocks and the door flung open, startling both people out of their momentary trance.

"Good to see you both again! I hope all is well? Life is stress-free?"

Kensi smiled and automatically replied with a quiet "yes," not truly considering the question before she gave an answer. For most people, having their husband get shot wouldn't really qualify as a normal part of everyday life.

"Well…" Deeks grimaced just slightly at Kensi's lack of truthfulness. The man was their unborn child's doctor- and Kensi knew that it was in best interest of everyone involved to be completely honest about the situation. She had been incredibly stressed- and there was no doubting that fact.

She swallowed and turned towards Dr. Jones, who had taken a seat beside his computer. "Deeks- er, I mean _Marty_ got... shot last week."

"You got _shot?" _Dr. Jones' eyes dropped from Deeks down to his clipboard, as if looking for their professions listed somewhere in his stack of paperwork._ "_What line of work are you in?"

Kensi widened her eyes and looked over to Deeks, who was still and calm. She nearly forgot: Deeks was LAPD, and that didn't need to be kept a secret. Kensi's career choice on the other hand- the one of undercover secret agent, definitely needed to be kept under wraps.

"He's a detective… LAPD."

She uttered the acronym through gritted teeth; Kensi hated that she had say that, as it truly felt like a lie. Because in her mind, he wasn't really LAPD, not at all. Deeks was an NCIS agent, and he was her partner- not a _liaison_. Just the word within itself sounded temporary.

"What do you do again?"

Kensi swallowed and forced the lie out of her lips, though she hated to say it. "I'm an… art curator."

Deeks' eyes immediately shot up towards the ceiling as he stifled a laugh, sucking his lips back into his mouth in the hopes that he wouldn't give anything away that he wasn't supposed to. The idea of Kensi Blye working as anything but a federal agent was a humorous thought, to say the very least.

Dr. Jones nodded in understanding, still alarmed by Kensi's nonchalant tone, despite the grim topic of discussion. "Well… I'm guessing you've been pretty stressed then?"

She shrugged, but Deeks just looked directly the doctor and nodded, answering for Kensi without her permission. There was no lying with this one though- it honestly wasn't even a question. How can something that traumatic _not _stress you out, along with a million other emotions? Kensi had no clue.

She just sighed, running one hand through her wavy brown hair. "Yeah… I've been stressed."

"I'm assuming you're all better now, correct?" Dr. Jones asked, furrowing his eyebrows and looking directly at Deeks, his eyes darting around him slightly as if looking for a bullet hole somewhere, like there would be an obvious gaping wound filled with blood that was still spilling out onto the floor.

"I'm good. Bullet got me in the shoulder, no vital organs. Which is, you know... good."

He honestly didn't know how to properly talk about it, and in the tedious process of finding the right words Deeks failed to mention the other two shells that had gotten embedded in his bulletproof vest, causing him to bruise two ribs. That was a fact that Deeks tended to leave out when he told the story, in what seemed like a lame attempt to divert any unnecessary attention away from himself.

The doctor bobbed his head in understanding, though still visibly shaken, and turned his attention to focus on Kensi. "How have you been feeling?"

She wasn't sure if he was referring to Deeks' injury or just in general, so she gave him a blanket statement to cover all the bases. "Last week was awful, but the baby seems fine, if that's what you're getting at."

Dr. Jones kept his expression of shock as he stood up and closed the gap between himself and Kensi, automatically causing her to stiffen. Not for any real reason in particular- she was just on edge.

"Well… let's make sure everything is okay then, shall we?"

Kensi's face went slack, mouth slightly ajar as her eyes widened in alarm. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Um…"

The doctor glanced over to Deeks who shot him a bit of a warning glare, as if letting him know that it was entirely necessary to walk on eggshells around Kensi. She was sensitive, and Deeks knew better than most anyone else that one wrong word could send her over the edge.

"Don't worry. I'm just going to do the ultrasound now, okay?"

Kensi swallowed hard and nodded, narrowing her eyes just barely as if she wasn't sure quite what to think. Deeks stood up and grabbed her hand though, which was sufficient in calming her almost immediately. He watched as Kensi exhaled and squeezed his hand back, letting their intertwined fingers sit together on the armrest of her chair as it was leaned far back, until she was nearly laying flat on her back.

"Babe… it's gonna be fine," Deeks whispered as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "And it's gonna be a girl."

Kensi saw the doctor's eyebrows rise in her peripheral vision at Deeks' steadfast statement. She just smirked though, secretly happy for the comedic relief. "You're bringing this up again? Right now?"

"I'm just speaking the truth."

Kensi rolled her eyes but continued grinning as she pulled up the bottom of her shirt, leaving her belly exposed. The doctor hadn't yet asked her to do it, but he didn't even have to- Kensi knew the drill, as she'd already done this once before. Except the first time around, the stakes weren't quite as high.

They'd seen a blurry, barely readable ultrasound photo- it had been entirely too early to really get any sort of a usable image out of their visit. But on that particular November day, the scenario was different. They were going to learn the gender of their baby, which was something that Deeks' had been protesting from the very beginning.

All around though, the anticipation had become something that neither person was ready to bear. Three and half more months of _not knowing _just wasn't an option anymore.

If Deeks hadn't gotten three shell casings embedded in his chest than things may have seemed different to Kensi, she wasn't really sure. But there was an undeniable truth to the fact that she despised unpredictability, and Deeks' little hospital stay was enough spontaneity for one nine month stretch of time.

Kensi inhaled slowly as a icy cold gel hit the skin on her stomach, causing goosebumps to pop up all over her extremities.

The monitor was switched on and the transducer pressed against her skin, causing Kensi's heart to inevitably lurch up into her throat. There was no real reason behind her anxiety, as it was totally and completely irrational.

As Dr. Jones twirled the device around in circular motions against her skin, something different was sprouting up inside of her. It was a feeling that she couldn't exactly describe or pinpoint, because she'd never really experienced anything like it before.

It was the idea that new life was growing inside of her- and it was thrilling; nearly exhilarating, in a way. Kensi was going through something incredibly new, with someone that she'd loved for years but had only more recently begun to think of in that sort of a 'romantic' context.

Kensi was married to her partner… she had committed to spending the rest of her life with Deeks. And she was pregnant with their child.

The facts hit her like a ton of bricks, this time in a good way though. It was as if Kensi had been floating through life for the past couple of months, and that was the first time when she'd actually opened her eyes to see the astonishing yet still somehow completely inconceivable events that were unfolding in her life.

She'd been married to Deeks for quite awhile by that point- but when she glanced over to look at him, watching as he nodded profusely at whatever the doctor was saying, eyes glued to the ultrasound and an unbelievably cute expression of concentration washed over his face, Kensi genuinely couldn't believe he was hers.

Quickly she was brought back into reality though, as the circular motion of the transducer stopped spinning around on her stomach, coming to focus in on one area in particular.

"…And here we can see the baby."

Kensi couldn't exactly tell what she was looking at on the screen, as the image she saw was far too fuzzy for an untrained eye to decipher. Nevertheless though, the next thing her senses experienced was a sound rather than a sight- one that made her heart flutter.

It was a heart beat. The sound pounded and thumped loudly throughout the room, filling the air space with a beautiful noise, one that Kensi and Deeks both listened to eagerly.

Tears began clouding her vision at a nearly supersonic rate, and began flowing even more profusely when she caught Deeks' gaze, only to see that his eyes were already misty.

The doctor was staring at the screen of the ultrasound machine, and out of Kensi's peripheral vision she saw a smile spread across his face.

She took a deep breath and squeezed Deeks' hand once more. "What's the gender?"

Dr. Jones's head shot over to look at her, eyebrows furrowed. "I thought you were going to wait?"

"We were, but it's, um…"

Kensi was tired of trying to explain how she was feeling, but luckily for her sake she didn't really have to. Turning her head towards Deeks she shrugged, allowing him to speak on her behalf.

"We've changed our minds. So…. Do you know?"

The doctor's grin widened and he nodded, eyes shooting back and forth between their faces and the screen. "You ready?"

Kensi bobbed her head, communicating an eager yes. She almost felt nauseous from how much her heart was pounding; it's strong thumping hammering against the shell of her body.

"Well… It looks like you were right." Dr. Jones's eyes shifted away from Kensi, settling on Deeks.

"It's a girl."


	34. Wishful Thinking

**You guys are always amazing to me, but the reviews on chapter 33 just blew me away. Some of you wrote me full paragraphs talking about your own experiences as parents, and those were just absolutely incredible to read. **

**I am still merely a teenager, and have yet to experience any of this myself, so I love getting feedback from you all letting me know how correctly I portrayed the situation. Being accurate is **_**very **_**important to me, and I always do loads of research before I write a chapter like the last one, where medical lingo is involved. :)**

**So thank you for your continued support, and please review as always!**

**-Hazel**

**P.S. Oh and by the way, now that we know it's a girl, give me your final name suggestions below! I think I know what I'm gonna do, but I want to know what you all believe is the best name:)**

* * *

"_It's a girl."_

Deeks didn't start in on the 'I told you so's yet, but Kensi was sure that would come along later.

He was entirely too floored as well as too ecstatic to say anything that wasn't completely sincere in nature.

"Wow."

The word was breathy and barely made a sound, but Kensi still received the message that he was attempting to send loud and clear.

She bit her bottom lip, squeezed his hand and smiled, her watery, mismatched eyes staring deep into his. They were having a baby girl, and that basic, worldly idea made all of her previous worries subside- at least momentarily.

In the past, Kensi had been able to keep every single thought in her mind totally hypothetical. Nothing truly tangible existed yet, besides a couple of grainy images and a growing baby bump. But that day changed _everything, _and they both knew it.

Deeks had been right all along- and Kensi was certain that when they got home she'd never hear the end of it.

He wasn't going to bring it up there though, certainly not. In that moment, Kensi couldn't detect even a hint of insincerity lingering in his voice or written plainly on his face. Deeks was experiencing something that was practically impossible to cover up with jokes and jibes.

The feeling may have been new- but it was still profound nonetheless.

"Well, I guess a congratulatory wish is in order."

Dr. Jones' voice interrupted Kensi and Deeks' never ending stream of various thoughts, which were hitting them at full speed as they both tried to process the onslaught of information that they'd just received.

"Thanks," Kensi said, beaming as she pulled her shirt back down to cover her stomach.

The chair was raised to a normal sitting height, and as she rose Kensi could've sworn that she saw Deeks wipe a stray tear off his cheek. She didn't bring it up though, instead just enjoying it's adorableness silently.

Kensi exhaled and popped up out of the chair, dropping Deeks' hand as she made a b-line for the door, as she assumed it was best for them to get out of there before one out of the two of them had some sort of a melt down in front of the doctor. Kensi always felt that her emotions were better kept under wraps, at least in public scenarios.

"Here," Dr. Jones said with a grin as Deeks stood up to follow Kensi out. With one arm extended he held a picture, one that was still warm from the printer.

Kensi saw what Deeks was holding and immediately let her hand slip off the doorknob, returning instantly to peer over his shoulder.

Their baby's features were slightly more defined in that photo, and held a bodily form that could actually be recognized as a _baby, _rather than a fuzzy blob of black and white imagery_._

"She looks like you."

The comment was unexpected and silly in nature- Kensi could tell that Deeks was quickly fading out of his short-lived 'shock' phase.

She just snorted with laughter. "I feel like that's an insult, because she doesn't even look human yet."

He spun around and dropped his chin in fake horror. "Ouch! I'll try to tell her not to take offense to that."

Deeks knelt down towards her stomach just slightly, speaking in a hushed tone. "Don't worry, you're beautiful. And I love you, even when mommy is being really-"

"Okay. We're done. " Kensi was quick to cut Deeks off midsentence, grabbing him by the arm and pulling until he stood up straight.

"I think it's time to go home."

* * *

"Wanna grab coffee on the way home?" Kensi asked as she yawned, walking towards their car in the parking lot. The excitement and mounting anticipation had worn her out, and she really needed a pick me up.

Deeks paused with one hand on the car door handle and proceeded to stare at her with an incredulous expression.

"Coffee? That has caffeine in it! You can't have _any _caffeine, you know that Kensi."

He hadn't yet unlocked the car doors, so she just had to stand there and talk to him, Kensi's eyes easily giving away her annoyance as she looked through the glass, voice buffered just slightly by the sound barrier.

"I know Deeks. I'll get decaf."

"But that still has trace amounts of caffeine in it!"

"That's the entire point. I can trick my mind into thinking I'm drinking real coffee. It's all about the mentality."

Deeks still looked put out. "But you still shouldn't drink it-"

"And you shouldn't leave your pregnant wife locked out of her own car and standing in the cold, but that's exactly what you're doing, now isn't it?" Kensi said, eyebrows raised as she tapped on the glass.

He smirked at her quick rebuttal and quickly pressed a button on his keys, forcing the car to unlock its doors.

"Touché."

They both slipped inside, and Kensi immediately grabbed her seat belt, ready to peel out of the parking lot and into someplace warmer. "You know what? You win. I'll get tea, okay?"

Deeks grinned as he drove. "How about some of that stuff that Hetty recommended… rooibos, or whatever the hell it is."

"Alright Deeks." Kensi patted him on the shoulder, attempting to alley his worries regarding her caffeine consumption. "I'll stick to only 'Hetty-recommended' teas from now on."

* * *

Kensi had been wrong about one thing- she didn't even have to wait until they returned to Deeks' apartment before he started in on a rant about how 'spot on' he was when it came to guessing the gender.

He'd been talking about it the whole drive home, and was still babbling on as they walked through the front door.

"…I mean, the books were totally right. About everything! The old wives tales are surprisingly accurate, I can't believe how they-"

"Deeks!"

Kensi was laughing and shaking her head as she exclaimed his name, dropping her bag down on the front entry table in the process.

"What?"

He laughed along with her, supporting a cute, crooked smile- but still failed to see the joke.

"Is this how it's gonna be?" Kensi asked, slipping her shoes off and sinking into the chair adjacent to the couch.

Deeks' grin only widened as he did the same as her, relaxing back onto the couch. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh really? You're being obnoxious about this."

"Me? _Obnoxious? _That's crazy talk."

"Then how would you describe how you've been acting the entire drive home?"

"Adorable! Lovable! Funny and-"

"I never should've asked that question." She ran one hand through her brown locks, quickly cocking her head to one side. "I meant about you being right."

Kensi probably shouldn't have reminded Deeks of that fact, as a succinct and incredibly charming grin took over his expression, demanding Kensi's full, unparalleled attention. "Oh right. That."

"You know what Deeks? Don't start thinking that you're physic or something. There was a fifty-fifty chance that you'd be right."

"That may be true… but I was still right."

"I know," Kensi said, quickly accepting her defeat.

"And you didn't believe me."

"That's not true!"

Deeks raised his eyebrows.

She sighed, tossing her hands up in the air, allowing them to fall back to the arms of the chair with a quiet thud. "Fine… it's sort of true."

"Thank you."

He patted the couch cushions as Monty came bounding in from the other room, one side of his fur flattened as if he'd been sound asleep. He immediately took the seat beside Deeks, who was quick to rub his belly before giving his attention back to his conversation with Kensi.

He looked up towards the ceiling, as if about to give a theatrical performance. "I may have been right, this fact is very true. But although I may be the intellectually superior one-"

"You're a horrible person, do you know that?"

He smiled at the sarcastic interruption. "I know, I know. It keeps me awake at night."

"Don't push it Deeks."

"Stay with me, I'm still working on it."

Kensi grinned and shook her head once more, but extended one arm out, showing that she'd allow him to continue.

"As I was saying- whether you consider me to be intellectually superior or not, it is true- I was correct on predicting the gender of our child. But, as the laws of being a good husband most compellingly elucidate… I must let this one slide, so to speak."

Kensi snorted with laughter, unable to hold it in. "You sounded so well educated until the end there Deeks... you definitely turned back into a surfer."

He opened his palms to her. "What can I say? I'm a Californian, born and bred."

"Isn't _born and raised _the proper term to use? You really aren't helping yourself any when it comes to the dog comparisons."

"I don't care what you say, but I know that I do not look like Monty."

She chuckled and pulled her legs up underneath her on the couch. "Believe _whatever _you want babe."

They held one another's gaze for a moment, both so smiley that it seemed to be infectious to the other.

"We're having a girl." Deeks was merely stating already pre-established facts by that point, but Kensi didn't mind.

"It's pretty amazing." One hand landed on her stomach and she sighed, patting it once, and then twice for good measure.

"And I was right…" Deeks added, smiling down at the couch with wide eyes.

"Ha! And what happened to the 'laws of being a good husband?'"

"I said I'd let it slide, not that I wouldn't talk about it."

Kensi nodded, almost giving him the upper hand in a way. Not that it was new to her, but Deeks certainly was being rather witty on that particular day.

"You know what Deeks? I'm stuck somewhere between being apologetic for not believing you and proud of the fact that you were right. Still trying to figure out which emotion overrides the other though."

There was silence.

"You need a minute?"

Kensi winked at him, gingerly pushing herself up and out of her chair before she began walking towards the kitchen.

"Maybe longer than just a minute."


	35. Domestic Dawn

**Daily updates? This is madness! Haha I don't believe that there's much else I can say up here besides thank you! This is a super long chapter- my apology for being rather sporadic with updates lately. Forgive me? Good. ;)**

** Please continue to review- I absolutely love hearing what you guys have to say! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Have you gotten the cranberry sauce yet?" Kensi asked, her tone frazzled as she stopped for a fleeting moment in the center of the supermarket with Deeks. He was pushing the cart, having her walk along beside him, listening intently as she informed him over and over again of every single item that they were still in need of.

Thanksgiving was fast approaching, and that year the OSP team was doing something that they'd failed to do in the past- they were spending the day together, as one big, dysfunctional family. This was the first holiday season that Kensi and Deeks were actually together for, and Deeks wanted everything to be perfect.

Kensi's mom would be there, of course, and the rest of their team had agreed to come over as well- even Hetty was joining in on the festivities. Sam and Michelle didn't have any plans, Callen was going to spend the day alone as usual, Nell and Eric were staying in town to avoid awkward gatherings with their familes, so Deeks was taking it as an excuse to put together the first real 'family dinner' that he'd had in years.

To say he was giddy would've been an understatement. He couldn't wait to see what life would be like for them, _together_ on a holiday with little kids running around. Their baby girl wouldn't have arrived yet, but Sam's kids would be there, and Deeks couldn't wait to experience a real holiday with an actual family.

Sure- he had spent Christmas with Kensi the year prior, but at that point in time they weren't a couple yet. _And _they weren't married, or expecting a child. Those few facts alone changed the situation dramatically.

Deeks wiped one hand over his face before bringing it back down to rest on the handle of the grocery cart, forming a sleepy response to her question. "No cranberry sauce yet. I think we have most everything else though."

He gestured down towards the cart he was pushing, which was nearly full to its brim with various milk cartons, boxes of turkey stuffing, gravy mixes, and other miscellaneous items that were absolutely crucial for a successful thanksgiving meal.

"Okay… so let's grab that, pick up the turkey, then I think we're done."

Deeks started walking again but then quickly stopped, grabbing Kensi's arm with his one free hand. "Wait! What are we going to serve all of this on?"

Kensi cocked her head to one side, as the answer seemed fairly obvious to her. "I have plates."

Deeks rolled his eyes and chuckled. "We can't put a turkey on a dinner plate, Kens. "

"Maybe we can get plastic stuff?" she said, completely sincere as she pointed one thumb behind himself towards a different aisle.

"This is thanksgiving. We can't do plastic."

She rolled her eyes, somewhat amused by his serious tone. "It's just the team. I don't think they care."

"I want this to be a _real _thanksgiving."

"Me too! But a real thanksgiving doesn't necessarily have to require plates."

He paused, letting the words resonate. "Do you even realize how ridiculous that sentence just sounded?"

People were beginning to pile up around them- it was the day before Thanksgiving, and the store was ridiculously busy, so Kensi just waved one hand in the air, flagging off his comment as unimportant.

"Deeks… You know what I meant. It doesn't have to be all fancy."

He smiled, knowing that his response would change her mind. "Babe- Hetty is gonna be there."

She furrowed her eyebrows and looked down to the floor. "Oh… right. Yeah, we should probably go buy some dinnerware."

Deeks laughed and shook his head, causing Kensi to become confused once more."

"What is it?" She hadn't caught the joke.

He shrugged. "Nothing. It's just that we're married and don't own a single platter or gravy boat. I feel like everyone who is married has that stuff."

"Yeah, they do. But we never had a wedding registry, remember? The ceremony was… impromptu."

"I kinda forgot about that, sorry."

Kensi crossed her arms firmly across her chest, shifting all of her weight onto one foot. "You forgot about our wedding?"

Deeks opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it, looking down to the floor incredulously. "I'm not even going to try and make that sound better."

Kensi smirked and spun around, forcing Deeks to play catch-up. "I wouldn't either."

She was definitely enjoying messing with him, and Deeks knew it all too well. He pressed his lips into a firm line, shaking his head and quickly following after her.

"Mm-hmm."

* * *

They made their way through the rest of the store rather swiftly, hoping to avoid the hordes of people that Kensi was sure were not far behind. The store was already a zoo, people pushing and shoving, hoping to get their last-minute turkey dinners before the person in front of them grabbed the last one.

Eventually, Deeks convinced Kensi that it was necessary for them to go to the mall and buy proper dish wear, rather than using the paper and plastic they already had back at Deeks' apartment.

Though she appeared to be slightly annoyed at times, Kensi truly thought that Deeks' enthusiasm about the holiday was adorable. His excitement when was unwavering, and even as he had to bob and weave through crowds of people in the store- he didn't care.

Kensi was enjoying their shopping trip for the first little while, but was quickly growing tired with the passing time.

She tended to get up about 20 times during the night, whether she was hungry, had to run to the restroom, or whatever else might force her to jump out of bed in the wee hours of the morning- so Kensi was almost running on empty. The comforts of home felt so great to her by that point in her pregnancy, that she really wanted nothing more than to leave as they mindlessly walked through a home store with a shop clerk, pointing out and purchasing basically every single ceramic dish that they could ever possibly need.

Nevertheless, she pushed on until they had all their items loaded into the back of her SUV and were heading back home.

Kensi was hoping that the next day would go swimmingly, but she honestly wasn't entirely sure how it would all play out. Neither person was particularly well known for their cooking abilities, so she was rather terrified to take on the challenge. But Sam's wife had promised to come over a little bit early to help Kensi with the prep work, and when the day finally arrived she was more than grateful for the assistance.

"So… Sam has told me quite a bit about you and Mr. Deeks' relationship," Michelle stated blankly as she worked alongside Kensi in the kitchen, prepping the turkey.

She wasn't sure whether to be flattered or worried, and her response reflected those feelings exactly.

"Oh! Um, well that's... Good. Right?"

Michelle chuckled, the sound easily allaying Kensi's worries.

"Yes, it's good. He's only had _good_ things to say, really."

Kensi stopped what she was doing and lifted her eyes to meet Michelle's.

"For real?"

Sam had never been the biggest fan of Deeks, so the information she was receiving was definitely shocking- yet still undoubtedly pleasing to hear.

"Yeah... Mostly."

"Ah. There it is," Kensi muttered, returning her gaze down to the cutting board where she was chopping vegetables.

"What?"

Kensi had hoped Michelle hadn't picked up on that, but she had. "Well… Sam hasn't exactly been 'friendly' to Deeks over the past few years."

Michelle shrugged. "I think Sam changed his mind about him."

Kensi laughed. "I hope that's the case, I just can't ever really be sure with those two."

She looked up and smiled, pointing over Kensi's shoulder into the living room. "They seem to be doing great at the moment."

Kensi's head spun to follow Michelle's line of sight, and she was briefly stunned by what she saw. Sam and Deeks were sitting on the couch together watching the football game, each man leaned forward with their eyes focused intently on the television screen, not bothering paying attention to Sam's screaming kids, who looked to be playing a game of tag as they chased one another in circles around the living room.

Michelle shook her head, laughing as Kensi's eyes drifted away from the guys and back over to the veggies she was slicing, her expression still one of shock and near amazement.

"Football always brings people together, doesn't it?"

Kensi had no words so she just nodded, her eyes still taking quick peeks away from the cutting board towards her husband. Things felt undoubtedly different that day, and she loved the unfamiliar emotion she was feeling inside.

All the people in Kensi's life that she cared the most for would soon be in the same place, just enjoying themselves and celebrating life- she really couldn't ask for anything more.

Kensi heard a loud laugh come booming from the room opposite her- the sound was one that she knew well. It was coming from Deeks, and her heart began fluttering as she saw him pick up Sam's daughter, capturing the girl mid- run as she chased her brother yet another lap around the couch.

"Uncle Marty! S-stop!"

She was laughing so hard that even uttering the words properly was a challenge. Deeks lifted her high in the air and tickled her furiously, producing loud giggles and snorts of laughter from every single person in the room- including Sam, who just looked on in quiet amusement.

Deeks caught Kensi's eye as she stared, instantly causing him to shoot a smile in her direction- a crooked, blinding smile that caused her breath to get caught up somewhere in between her lungs and her throat.

"Be careful with that knife."

The words were coming from Michelle, and instantly caused Kensi's mind to drift back into the scenario surrounding her. Her cheeks reddened slightly as she looked down to the cutting board. The potato she'd been slicing had been cut evenly in the beginning, but her carving job had clearly become messy and jumbled at the end.

"Oh… sorry."

It was crazy how even after all the time that had passed, Deeks was still able to make Kensi's breath hitch and cause her heart to nearly palpitate. Except this time around, it wasn't because he was being flirty or cheeky or brazen.

No- it was because of the way Deeks acted when he was with kids. He was always able to make them laugh and smile, and Kensi didn't usually share the same luxury. It was a comforting sight to see, and she knew that he'd make an amazing father, possibly even teaching her a thing or two along the way.

Kensi went back to cutting vegetables, this time actually _looking down_ at what she was doing, slicing the potatoes in a more orderly fashion.

"The story that you two have is crazy," Michelle added, moving the uncooked turkey to a baking sheet on the other side of the kitchen.

Kensi wasn't easily catching on. "How do you figure?"

Michelle pulled over a mixing bowl and a whisk, which Kensi had left sitting out on the counter for her to use. She failed to mention that she'd bought them both the day before, but Kensi figured that those minor aspects weren't important to discuss.

"Sam told me that you met in the first grade before you became partners."

Kensi chuckled at her own inability to recall such important details regarding her own past. "Yeah, that part is true."

Michelle jetted her chin out just a hilt, as if waiting for Kensi to elaborate on their story- she took the hint.

"We've been partners for about five years now."

"And when did you start dating? Sam left out the specifics of it all."

She was already slightly weary just from simply thinking about the idea that Sam talked about them to Michelle, and Kensi really wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond when Michelle used the term 'dating', as that wasn't what had happened at all. She still responded with confidence though, continuously chopping and peeling potatoes as she spoke.

"We started dating during on an, um… undercover assignment."

Michelle's eyebrows shot up. "Hmm. Now I think I know why Sam failed to mention it."

Kensi's cheeks reddened again, but she laughed in an attempt to cover it up. "Yeah, I can see that."

"So," Michelle picked up her glass of wine, taking a break from whisking the gravy mix and leaning back against the counter. "How long have you been together now?"

Kensi stopped chopping and looked up towards the ceiling, trying to do the math in her head. Life had been so chaotic for them recently that she had failed to actually take the time to think it all through.

"Well… when I put it all together, I think we've been a couple for about seven months now? Yeah, that seems right."

Michelle had been raising the wine glass towards her lips, but stopped when Kensi actually gave her a number. Her eyes shot down towards Kensi's stomach, doing the math mentally.

"But… how far along are you?"

Kensi shrugged. She wasn't even looking at Michelle, and had failed to see her stunned reaction. "About five months."

Michelle opened her mouth to say something but stopped, jaw slightly ajar and her expression giving away how puzzled she really was.

Kensi actually looked up when they fell into silence, and sighed as she took in Michelle's look of confusion. "Yeah, It's crazy, I know. We only dated for a month before we got engaged. And yes, I was pregnant when we got married."

"Wow."

Kensi lifted her shoulders up towards her ears, a sheepish look on her face. "Yup."

"Well, congratulations. On all of it. I personally think Sam has no good reason not to love Marty- he's pretty adorable," she said with a grin, sipping her wine.

"I agree. And I think you're right, they are doing better together. Things were… tense, for a little while."

"I still don't get why, but whatever. They are grown ass men, and they should be able to figure it out for themselves."

Kensi snickered at her sassy remarks. "You're right. But Deeks is just… goofy, I guess. And Sam is really serious about his work. Their personalities clashed, I think that's the main gist of it."

Michelle grinned and tilted her head back out towards the living room. "Maybe then, but just look at our boys now."

Kensi did as she was told, happy to see Sam and Deeks sitting on the couch, both sipping beers as they continued watching the game. It must've been a commercial break though, as the guys were actually talking. Deeks didn't seem to be driving Sam insane, or vice versa- and it was a wonderful sight to see.

Michelle patted Kensi on the shoulder as she began walking across the kitchen towards the fridge.

"The guy must've done something right."

Kensi chuckled to herself, shaking her head as she returned her stare back down to the countertops.

"Yeah. Something."


	36. In the Shadows

**Again, I love you guys. Thanks for being wonderful. :)**

**Please review as always! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

Deeks was seated on the couch beside Sam, both men relaxed as they sat a few feet apart. They'd been briefly exchanging words during each commercial break that came along during the game, and Deeks couldn't help but appreciate how nice it was. He didn't have to constantly feel embarrassed for cracking jokes, or frequently stifle himself so he wouldn't piss Sam off.

"...How's Kensi doing with all of this?"

Deeks ran one hand through his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. "All of what? Quite a lot has gone down recently, you have to be more specific."

Sam chuckled. "The pregnancy."

Deeks' face lit up at the mere mention of that word. "Oh, right. We've gotten past the stages of morning sickness and cravings, which makes everything easier. Kensi seems to be doing great… she freaked out for a minute the other day, but aside from that nothing _bad_ has actually happened."

"Why'd she freak out?"

Deeks scrunched his nose up, unsure of how much information he was actually allowed to divulge. Sam was a trustworthy guy though, so he assumed Kensi wouldn't mind him knowing what she'd been so shaken up about.

"She just said that she didn't think she could do it."

"Do what? _Be a parent?_" Sam asked skeptically.

Deeks just nodded, expression solemn as he glanced over at Kensi, who looked to be chatting with Michelle in the kitchen.

"That's totally ridiculous. She'll find her way- we all just have to figure it out as we go along."

"That's what I told her."

"Did she believe you?"

Deeks grabbed his beer off the coffee table. "Certainly seemed to."

"Good. She needs to trust herself… I don't think she really does. Have you guys learned the gender yet? Knowing it makes everything else a bit easier, takes a bit of the stress away."

"Yeah… I was right."

Deeks shot Sam an enthusiastic grin, as he was certain that his friend knew exactly what he meant by that statement.

He had practically talked both Sam and Callen's ears off in the car during stakeouts- the same way that he always did with Kensi, babbling on and on about how he knew for certain that they were having a baby girl. He'd been right all along, but at the time it was still annoying nonetheless.

Sam laughed, taking a quick swig of his beer. "Congrats man. Are you driving Kensi crazy yet?"

"Why would I be doing that?"

"Because you were right."

"Nope. I'm following the_ 'laws of being a good husband.'_"

"Wow. Good for you. Maybe I need a copy."

Deeks stared forward wordlessly for a moment, wearing a rather puzzled look.

"Dude... It's not a real book."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I know. It's called being sarcastic, Deeks."

"Oh. Right." He took another swig of beer. "I'm not used to it, that's all. You almost seem to_ like_ me, and I haven't decided how I feel about it yet. I'm still in the stage where it seems really weird."

Sam bit his lip, wanting to avoid saying something he knew he'd regret later- but he did it regardless.

"I never really liked _disliked_ you. I'm just…"

"Protective of Kensi?" Deeks offered up the words sincerely, only a hint of tease in his voice.

"Yeah, that. But I don't really need to be anymore."

"Well, probably not. As she is a married_ and _pregnant grown adult woman."

Sam was learning to not be annoyed by the cynicism that Deeks often expelled during conversations- it was just a part of who he was, and there was nothing Sam could do to change it.

"She can take care of herself. And I know that you can take care of her."

There was an undeniable sincerity in Sam's tone of voice as he spoke.

"You know Sam- you never have to worry about that. I'm always going to look after her, even if _she_ doesn't want me to. I just have to do it. I'm overprotective."

Whether or not it was for show, Sam still ended up regaining his tough guy attitude with Deeks- he couldn't stay nice for too long. "But if you ever hurt her-"

"You'll kill me and leave no forensic evidence, I know."

Sam nodded, silently agreeing with his statement while a tiny, barely noticeable smile tugged at his mouth.

"Exactly."

* * *

Kensi and Michelle continued with the prep work, Kensi quietly following her new friends lead, basically copying whatever she did in the hopes that all the food would turn out okay.

Michelle had just slipped the turkey in the oven when the doorbell rang and their family and friends began filing in. First Callen, then Kensi's mom Julia, then Hetty- who seemed out of place in Deeks' modest little home, to say the least.

Callen grabbed a beer from the fridge and Julia poured herself a glass of wine before gravitating towards the living room, while Hetty followed Kensi out of the chaos and back into the kitchen.

"This is a sight I never expected to see," Hetty said, folding her arms and shooting Kensi a knowing smile.

"What do you mean?" Kensi asked as she turned the heat down on the stovetop, briefly pulling the lid off of the large pot of mashed potatoes she was keeping warm until dinner time.

"Just look at yourself! You're cooking, being domestic. It's a pleasant surprise, I must say."

Kensi chuckled, lowering the lid back down on the pot with a clank. "Somehow, I'm still surprising myself everyday."

"That's a good thing. Anyways, how is your husband doing? With his recovery, and all."

Kensi knew that Hetty was just asking the question to make small talk, as the woman probably knew better than she did- there was a reason that they referred to her as 'the ninja'. Nevertheless, she gave her an honest answer.

"Better every day. I definitely think it shook him up though."

Hetty nodded, her expression solemn. "As it should have! Getting shot is disconcerting, no doubt. Especially when there is so much at stake."

Kensi knew exactly what Hetty was alluding to. "Us."

She used the plural form to describe herself, as it wasn't just Kensi that Deeks had run the risk of losing.

"Yes my dear, precisely that. The two of you must be even more careful now than you were in the past."

"We're always looking out for one another, Hetty. You know that."

"I do. Just continue to do keep an eye on him, alright?"

Kensi smiled, making a quick peek behind Hetty's shoulder to Deeks on the couch. "Don't worry. I will."

When he caught her line of sight, Deeks took it as an excuse to go see Kensi and hopped up off the couch, walking towards his wife and their fearless leader in the kitchen.

"What are you two gossiping about? Me, I hope," Deeks said, grinning and stopping only fleetingly on his way to the fridge so he could plant a kiss on the top of Kensi's head, which caused her cheeks to turn crimson. They may have been inside Deeks' home, but the display of affection was still undoubtedly public.

Hetty didn't seem to take note of Kensi's red cheeks, but instead just smiled at her two happy team members.

"It's wonderful to see that you're in good spirits, Mr. Deeks."

He shrugged, pulling the fridge doors open to grab another beer. "I don't see a reason not to be."

Not a moment later the doorbell rang, causing everyone, besides Hetty of course, to jump.

"I'll get it," Kensi muttered, happy to escape before Deeks made her blush again.

She bobbed and weaved through the living room, desperately trying not to be knocked over by one of Sam's kids as she passed through. Kensi didn't even check the peephole before swinging the door wide open, as she already knew who their last arriving guests would be.

"Happy Thanksgiving Kens!" Nell exclaimed as she stood beside Eric on the front porch, enthusiastically throwing her arms around Kensi's neck.

Kensi was going to return the greeting as Nell relinquished her grip, but she just couldn't force herself to speak as she watched her best friend move back to Eric's side, grabbing his hand in the process.

She opened her mouth but then clamped it shut again, widening her eyes at Nell, who just lifted her eyebrows. It may have been a small facial movement, but it still told a story. Kensi would _definitely_ need to ask her about that later.

There was only a brief moment of silence before Kensi forced herself to regain her voice, stepping aside to invite them inside. "Come on in!"

"It smells great," Eric said, the shock evident in his voice. "Did you _cook?" _

Kensi folded her arms, only mildly insulted by his tone. "Yes. I did."

Deeks walked hurriedly past them, staying only long enough so that he could hear the details of their conversation. "Don't worry, Michelle helped her out. It's edible."

Kensi rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance at his remarks while Nell and Eric just laughed. They were still holding hands at that point, so Kensi was quick to discreetly walk lean in towards Nell, whispering in her ear as she passed. "Hetty's here."

That was the only thing that needed to be said. Nell relinquished her grip on Eric's hand immediately, elbowing him lightly in the side and nodding towards Hetty, who had struck up a conversation with Michelle.

Nell mouthed a wide eyed 'thank you' before turning away, silently grateful for Kensi's warning.

She chuckled almost noiselessly, the only actual giveaway of her emotions being the smirk that was still on her face and the small shaking motion in her shoulders as she laughed.

Kensi just looked around the room as everyone dispersed to different areas- Sam, Callen, Deeks and Eric were all squished together on the couch, Michelle, Nell and Julia were in the kitchen talking to Hetty, and Sam's kids were tuckered out from playing tag, petting Monty as he laid sprawled out on the floor of the living room.

Kensi stood there, thoroughly enjoying the view that she had of the team. Soon enough, both her and Deeks' lives would both be turned upside down, and having little moments like those where Kensi could just relish in the normality of it all were highly necessary, just to keep her sane.

When she realized how awkward she looked- _just standing there in the middle of the room, _Kensi began walking over towards the kitchen to check on the food. She was just able to reach the island before Sam's youngest child- his daughter, Zoey, began pulling on one of her shirtsleeves.

"Auntie Kensi?"

She had never heard anyone use those words to address herself before, but Kensi definitely liked how they sounded.

"Yeah sweetie?" She replied, crouching down to her eye level. Deeks overheard their brief exchange of words, and shifted around on the couch to see what they were talking about.

"Uncle Marty says that you don't like Monty. Can we have him?"

Though she tried to stifle it, Kensi couldn't help but burst out laughing, and from a few feet away she heard Deeks do the exact same.

"Really Deeks?" Kensi asked, her voice traveling across the length of the room. She was still watching in amusement as Sam swiftly stood up from the couch, swooping down to grab his daughter. "Contrary to popular belief, I do like Monty."

"Zoey- you can't take other people's pets, okay?" Sam stated firmly, only partially able to scold her, as he was still chuckling himself.

Deeks picked himself up off the couch, drifting towards his wife's side and swinging one arm over her shoulders. "Don't you worry Zoey. I'll watch out for Monty, and you can come play with him whenever you want."

Her face, which had previously fallen, lit up once again.

"Okay!"

Sam chuckled, but an almost annoyed look was lurking behind his smile. "You really shouldn't have said that. She's gonna want to come over _every single day_."

As he wandered back over to the couch, Zoey still in his arms, Kensi repeated her already previous stated point to Deeks with a grin.

"I really do like Monty."

Deeks rested his lower back against the countertops and winked, causing Kensi to blush- the bodily function completely involuntary.

"I'm sure you do Fern. He reminds you of me, remember?"

Kensi playfully stuck out her tongue at him, but was easily distracted away from her husband's cuteness when she heard what sounded like a faint knocking sound on their front door.

She just glanced around the room in perplexity. "Who else did we invite?"

Deeks' eyes scanned over each person in the room before returning to Kensi's- they were sharing a mutual feeling of confusion.

"I don't know. Did your mom invite someone? _A male- friend perhaps?"_

"Eww Deeks, come on," she said, her whole body quivering in mock disgust. "I'll get the door, and if that is the case… then I get to kick him out."

He put both hands up, grinning after Kensi as she rounded the corner. When she reached the entryway, the noises of their guests conversations faded slightly, until all she could understand were a couple random words and various spurts of laughter.

Though she couldn't take a guess at who was on the other side of the door, Kensi still swung it open without hesitation. But as she stood in the doorway, the smile that she had been previously adorning was wiped clear off her face, and she couldn't help but gasp in complete and utter shock, barely even able to mutter a single intelligible word.

Kensi instantly recognized the person that was standing before her on the front porch steps, and her breath immediately hitched in her throat.

"Jack?"


	37. Past Demons

**Sorry for the cliffhanger I left you with in the previous chapter, and thank you for the wonderful abundance of reviews I've received! You guys always know how to make me smile.**

**Please review some more! :)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

_"Jack?"_

Kensi's heart involuntarily lurched up into her throat, her breathing becoming staggered.

"Hi."

That was the only word Jack could say, his expression growing weary as his eyes caught on Kensi's glistening diamond ring and protruding baby bump.

"Babe? Who is it?"

Deeks' voice hollered out to her from the other room, but Kensi couldn't bring herself to actually answer his question.

Her mouth was left ajar as she just stared forward, unable to speak or move. The man standing in front of her was definitely Jack- he looked remarkably different, but it was still Jack. She used to consider him somewhat 'ruggedly handsome' when they'd been together, but it seemed like the passing years had caused the handsome part to fade away, only leaving the ruggedness behind.

When he'd heard a voice referring to Kensi as 'babe' Jack cowered slightly, his previously confident stance faltering.

Kensi heard footsteps fast approaching, but she just remained frozen- Jack said nothing more, and neither did she.

"Kensi?" Deeks walked up to her side, his forehead wrinkling into a crease as his eyes shot back and forth between his wife and the complete stranger who was on their doorstep.

"Who is this?" He asked the question cautiously; as something significant was clearly going down- he just had no clue what it what the reasoning behind it was.

Kensi shook her head lightly, trying to get her mind out of the fog it had been thrust into. "This is… Jack."

Deeks immediately narrowed his eyes, hesitating for a split second before he finally realizing why that name rang a warning bell inside of him.

This was Jack: Kensi's_ ex-fiance _Jack. The only man Deeks had already despised before actually meeting.

"You're kidding, right?"

Kensi swallowed hard, still in complete and utter shock herself.

Deeks' appearance and stance shifted immediately. His face contorted from confusion, to anger, to perplexity, before finally settling on anger once again.

"Well you really have some nerve, asshole."

Kensi hadn't known what to expect from Deeks, but when he aggressively called Jack a rather crude name she was taken aback, no doubt. She really didn't mind it though, as over the years she'd chosen to appreciate the fiercely protective side of Deeks, rather than be annoyed by it.

He found no reason to be gentle with Jack- that was the guy who had caused Kensi so much pain over the years. The sole reason as to why she had been weary about getting into another relationship in the first place was standing directly in front of him. He'd wanted to meet the guy for years, solely so he could give him a piece of his mind.

But on that particular day, Kensi's ex-fiance was the last thing that Deeks wanted to see. The facts came flooding back to him rapidly, their substantial weight hitting him like a ton of bricks.

Jack just responded with a glare. "I'm allowed to talk to whoever I want."

From that first sentence, Kensi could already see how it was all going to unfold, and there was nothing she could do to prevent the messiness before it began. His confidence was infuriating to Deeks, who took a step forward- clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white.

"Not if I don't want you here."

"What are gonna do man? Call the police?"

Deeks snickered, still pissed but happy that Jack had just unknowingly given him the upper hand.

"_I am_ the police."

Jack didn't even bother responding to Deeks' comment, but instead just turned his attention to Kensi.

"You're with a cop? That's a step down, don't you think?"

Kensi narrowed her eyes- nobody could insult Deeks in front of her and get away with it unscathed. She extended one hand out towards Jack, showing him her palm. "Back off Jack."

Her tone was staunch and firm, but Jack just shrugged- and the minuscule movement sent Deeks into a fit of rage.

"What the hell do you want? Because I'm not okay with-"

"Deeks." Kensi cut her husband off before he could start in on a rant. She turned towards him, placing one hand on his chest. "Give us a minute? Please?"

He certainly didn't want to, but Kensi wasn't really giving him much of a choice in the matter. The situation was escalading quickly, and the large amount of testosterone that surrounded her wasn't helping matters any.

They needed to talk alone first- but after everything was all said and done, she wouldn't hesitate in allowing Deeks to kick Jack's ass if he wanted to.

Her partner might have been visibly aggravated, but Deeks still nodded in understanding, grabbing and squeezing Kensi's hand for a fleeting moment as he leaned forward to drop a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'll be right inside if you need me."

Kensi didn't mind the outward display of affection whatsoever, and returned the favor by tightly squeezing his hand back. Deeks continued shooting daggers at Jack before he dropped Kensi's hand and took his final step back inside.

In one fast and fluid motion, Kensi pulled the door shut and moved out onto the front porch.

Jack was the first to speak- his tone nearly smug after his intensely confrontational conversation with Deeks.

"I see that guy knows who I am."

"Yes, 'that guy' does, and 'that guy' also has a name. And Marty _really_ doesn't like you, so I would strongly advise you not to piss him off."

"I think I already did, Kens."

Jack's comment was truthful, sure, but she didn't care to respond to it. "You need to leave Jack."

"No, we need to talk."

He was being as stubborn as he'd always been, and Kensi didn't care to make eye contact with him. Because in that moment, she _loathed_ him.

So rather than meeting his gaze, Kensi just clenched her jaw and looked over to the line of cars that filled the driveway.

"How did you find me anyways?"

She felt almost violated in a way, and didn't have the slightest clue as to how Jack could've tracked her down after being away for so long.

He almost chuckled, but the situation was far too awkward for the laugh to be genuine. "It took me awhile, you're a hard woman to find. I learned that you're an art curator now... which was surprising, to say the least."

Kensi cringed at the lie she'd grown all too familiar with, but Jack didn't seem to notice and carried on regardless.

"You changed your address, which made things kinda tough. I eventually located you though- there aren't many people named 'Kensi Blye' living in Los Angeles."

Kensi didn't care to make small talk, which was exactly what Jack was trying to do, just so he could avoid discussing the huge elephant in the room. She needed to get her thoughts in order, and she needed to do it fast.

"Fine. But what the hell are you even doing here?"

"I… I wanted to talk, I guess."

Once Deeks had gone inside, Jack's smugness had receded slightly, a much more shy exterior replacing the previous one. He stumbled over his words, eyes suddenly glued to Kensi's stomach. Although he'd tried to avoid staring at it before, there really was no getting around it. She was pregnant- and obviously the guy hadn't realized what he was getting himself into by coming there that day.

Kensi's expression was steadfast as she stared at him, folding her arms firmly across her chest.

"The time for talking is over. And it has been over for a long time."

He raised his eyes up to meet hers, pointing weakly at her stomach. "So you're… um-"

"Pregnant? Yes, I am." Kensi lifted her left hand, tapping her wedding band twice. "Pregnant and married."

Jack almost looked annoyed more than he looked sad. "Well… that certainly changes things."

She was already confused along with a whole other mess of various emotions- so Jack's vague and poorly worded comment wasn't helping matters any.

Kensi knew that he'd come there to try and reconcile things with her, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. It wouldn't have been a possibility even if she _hadn't _been married though, and Kensi wanted to make that perfectly clear.

"What does it change, Jack? I moved on from you a long time ago. You can't just walk up to my front door- on thanksgiving, of all days, and try to pretend like you weren't a total and complete ass to me. I'm not going to put up with it. Not now, not ever again."

He was silent. Sheepish as hell, and just _silent._

Kensi shook her head and looked around the front lawn, wondering how long it would be before Deeks came charging back out the front door, unable to stay away any longer.

"Why did you even come back here? After all these years… you should've just moved on. It's exactly what I did."

Jack paused for a moment, looking back up to Kensi with wide, puppy dog eyes. "Because I still love you, Kens."

She shut her eyes, a strange concoction of mixed emotions bubbling up inside of her. The strongest feeling was an unexpected one though; and it was the one that overpowered all the others: it was a strange, yet still undeniably resounding sense of anger.

Jack couldn't just waltz back into her life after being gone for years, and tell her that he loved her with little or no regard for her current situation whatsoever.

Kensi snorted with fuming laughter. "You _jackass! _Where the hell do you get off saying those words to me? That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard in my life, and you know it just as much as I do."

Her response wasn't the one he'd been anticipating at all, and Jack quickly retaliated with the same feeling: anger.

"You asked why I came and I told you. What makes you think that I'm lying?"

She wasn't having any of his pleading words. The disbelief of him being there was gone, and Kensi was actually shocking _herself _by somehow knowing exactly how she felt in regards to the situation.

There was no more amazement, no sense of astonishment that he'd actually come back- she was just pissed that he was ruining her previously pleasant thanksgiving dinner.

"Because you _left _Jack! I tried to help you get better and you_ left. _You changed. So if you want to know why I think that's complete bullshit, then I'll tell you. I'm happily married and pregnant, which you figured out the minute I opened the door. But even after you see that, you're still going to stand here and say that you're in love with me? That's insane." She took one step towards him, rather aggressively. "Because truthfully Jack, if you really did love me like you claim that you do, than you would just be happy that_ I_ am happy."

By that point, tears had flooded into Kensi's eyes, blurring her vision. They weren't sad tears- they were just the type of tears that came when you're so angry and upset that your body had to let the emotions escape somehow. So rather than slapping him across the face, she started to tear up- it seemed like a much more civilized option.

Surprisingly though, even with Kensi's rare display of emotion, Jack wasn't backing off. If anything he was just growing more and more indignant about the situation, which was something he'd always done when things didn't go his way. Maybe it was from the PTSD? Kensi couldn't be sure. All she knew was that she had set something off inside of him. By that point Jack knew that nothing good was going to come from his impromptu visit- and the filter was off.

"You know what Kensi? I don't even give a shit anymore. You can go to hell for all I care."

Deeks had obviously been listening in through a cracked window or something, because when those words left Jack's mouth it was only a matter of seconds before he came charging out the front door.

He couldn't help but practically jump in front of his wife, coming within a foot of Jack's face.

"Okay, no. You're done here." He couldn't bear to see anyone make Kensi cry, especially someone who had hurt her so terribly in the past. "I'm not putting up with this any longer- you can't talk to her like that. You have to leave."

"Is that so?"

Kensi had been afraid Jack would get that way with Deeks- pushy and antagonistic. Her husband was a much better man than Jack was though, and he didn't take the bait.

Deeks wasn't going to have some major outburst in front of Kensi, as he'd done it before and the past experience had taught him how much she_ hated_ it when he acted that way. He'd matured over the years, and knew how to communicate with his words rather than his fists.

So instead of yelling or punching the guy Deeks just shrugged, standing up tall with his lips pressed together in a firm line.

"I'm not gonna fight you, dude. There's really no point, as I've already won."

He looked down to his right at Kensi, whose mouth was pulled up into something remotely resembling a smile- Deeks could see her try to internalize it.

In that same instant, Sam and Callen both walked out the front door together, tough guy expressions on.

"Is there a problem here?" Sam asked, his eyes pinned to Kensi, who was happy to answer the question without even turning around.

"No. He was just leaving."

Deeks wound one arm tightly around his wife's waist, and she didn't mind in the slightest.

Jack still hesitated, but as he watched Sam and Callen approach, Kensi could see him swallow hard, his adam's apple bobbing.

Deeks leaned forward just slightly, as if he was going to tell a secret. "I won't hit you in front of my wife, but I don't think they would think twice about it," he whispered, pointing his thumb out behind his shoulder at the two members of their team that were now standing directly behind himself and Kensi, who both nodded in agreement.

Jack could see that he was being cornered, and took what he assumed would be his last chance to make any final remarks.

"Look, Kensi… I really did lo-"

"Okay, _now_ I might hit you."

Deeks spit out the words as he looked up to the dull evening sky, narrowing his eyes to slits as he cut Jack off midsentence. He knew what the guy was going to say, and neither himself nor Kensi could bear to hear it again.

They stood in silence for a short moment before Kensi interjected, her face easily giving away how emotionally exhausted she truly was.

"Just go home, Jack," Kensi whispered, blinking slowly. "It's over."

Those were the only words Kensi had left to say- because it really was _over. _She was done.

When Deeks came along, slowly any previous feelings that she'd felt for Jack faded away, moving further and further back in her mind until they had all but disappeared.

Kensi never thought about Jack; he wasn't even a blip on her radar. And in that moment, as she stared at him, it was as if the man she once knew had completely withered away. It seemed like all that had been left behind was his body- as if the intellect and gushing personality that he'd held previously was just _gone._

Jack heard her words, loud and clear. There was nothing more he could do or say, as he had an inkling that the new man in Kensi's life wouldn't hesitate to slug or shoot him if he said anything else even mildly incriminating.

So Jack folded his arms and nodded, actually doing as he was told for once. He spun around and speedily walked away from them, slipping into his rather beat up car and quickly revving the engine.

Kensi stared after the car as it drove away, eyes glued to its bumper until it disappeared completely from her line of sight.

"You alright Kens?"

It was Sam's voice that pulled Kensi out of her trance. She turned around to look at Sam and Callen, whose expressions were both soft and concerned.

"Yeah. Thank you," she said, running a hand through her hair and giving them a small, totally fabricated smile.

They both nodded and walked away without a peep- both men knew that Kensi and Deeks needed to talk alone.

Once the door was closed again, Kensi eventually moved her eyes over to meet Deeks'- and was quick to notice how awkward he was standing, arms folded across his chest. His facial expression could really only be described as a mixture of sadness, anger, and pride, but Kensi couldn't tell which emotion overpowered the others.

"You okay?"

He just chuckled. "I thought that was my line."

Kensi's voice was merely a small whisper when she spoke again. It wasn't the time for Deeks to diffuse the tense situation with humor, and he was easily beginning to figure that out as his eyes caught on hers.

"Come on Deeks. Please just answer the question."

"I'm fine."

Deeks didn't want her to worry about his well being- Kensi was definitely the one who had taken the worst beating.

She raised her eyebrows questioningly. "I thought the word 'fine' meant that the exact opposite, remember?"

Deeks smiled halfheartedly. "I'm good Kens. Honestly, I'm… good."

She didn't believe him, as his appearance was clearly telling her otherwise. Deeks looked more confused than anything else, like he was still trying to decide how he was supposed to feel in regards to it all.

The confusion was fueled by a single question, one that he was keen to ask. "So, that was your… fiancé?"

He uttered the word bitterly, a strong sense of hatred evident in his voice. Just thinking of Kensi being with someone else gave Deeks a mental image that he never cared to see again.

She nodded uncomfortably and tried to sigh, but it was cut short in her chest- Kensi's heart was pounding far too fast for normal breathing.

"He was," she said, strongly emphasizing the second word. "A long time ago."

Deeks just stared at the ground, widening his eyes and sucking his lips back into his mouth. He wasn't quite sure what to say, as the look on Deeks' face was almost painful for Kensi to see. It seemed as if he was hurt in a way, and it was easy for her to put every ounce of blame on herself.

"I'm so sorry Deeks," Kensi whispered, folding her arms and shaking her head awkwardly. "I- I had no idea that he would-"

"I know," Deeks said quietly, winding both arms around her waist and pulling her close. He rested his chin on the top of her head, exhaling and closing his eyes. "I know."

There was nothing more she needed to say. "You never could've predicted something like this."

Kensi heaved a sigh of relief and closed her eyes- relishing in the fact that he wasn't mad at her. She was already an emotional mess, and after what had just happened there Kensi knew that she wouldn't be able to handle Deeks being upset with her.

"Were you really engaged to that guy though?" Deeks asked, pulling back so that he could see her face, but still keeping both arms wrapped securely around her waist. "He's a complete ass."

Kensi chuckled, unsure of exactly how she should respond to that statement. She didn't want to aggravate the situation, but she also didn't want Deeks thinking that she'd had poor judgment when it came to choosing her love interests in the past.

"Yeah… now. Not then though. Not in the beginning at least." She lifted her arms up, winding them both around his neck. "I don't think I ever knew who he really was though. It was like his filter came off after he got back from deployment. Like he'd been lying to me that whole time."

Abruptly, Deeks realized the extensive damage Jack had done to her over the years. It went much deeper than just 'relationship troubles,' and he was finally seeing that concrete fact. "I'm really sorry Kens."

Kensi smiled half-heartedly and shook her head- she didn't want the sympathy. "I should be the one who is apologizing, not you. For the most part, husbands don't have to deal with crap like that."

He squinted one eye, thinking. "Yeah… for the most part."

Kensi's chin dropped and she swallowed, suddenly feeling exceedingly poor. In only a matter of seconds though, Deeks picked up right where he left off and completed his sentence.

"But, on the other hand, most husbands don't have wives as hot as you. I'm surprised this is the first time something like this has happened. But... we have only been married for five months, so there's plenty of time for more guys to pop up."

Kensi rolled her eyes and smiled- if he wanted to be cheeky, she could play along. "I don't think there will be anymore."

"Yeah, hopefully not." Deeks was wearing a crooked smile, and had regained that glimmer in his eye, the one that Kensi loved so insanely much. "Do you wanna go back inside?"

She stared at the front door for a moment before nodding. "We probably should. I feel bad though... I don't want to ruin anyone's thanksgiving."

"That's ridiculous babe. I mean, what's a holiday without some drama?"

Kensi snorted with laughter. "In our family? Not a holiday."

He grinned at her use of the term 'our family.'

"You're exactly right," Deeks said, grimacing in mock pain. "I almost died last christmas, remember?"

"Then I saved your life."

"And I'm still grateful." Deeks dropped his arms from around her waist, immediately grabbing one of Kensi's hands so he could lead her back inside the house.

"You couldn't let them throw away a perfectly good partner."


	38. Shockwaves

**So sorry for the long delay between chapters- school is slowly taking over, and the season premiere just gutted me to a point where I couldn't write anything at all! Slowly I've begun to pull myself together though, and I came up with this today:) I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and I hope you all enjoy reading it! Maybe it'll get our minds off the angst-filled season premiere? **

**No, probably not. Wishful thinking.**

**Please review as always!**

**-Hazel**

**P.S. I have gotten really into making Densi videos, and I've made two new ones for Deeks and Kensi in the season premiere! They are both on my tumblr page if you'd like to watch and cry. ;) Username: imgoingtocallyoufern**

**. . .**

Kensi took a deep breath and opened the front door slowly. The house was silent, any previous conversations that may have been being held between their various houseguests put on mute for the time being.

It was clear that their team had heard what was being talked about, probably by pressing their ears up against cracked windows just so they could catch a word or two that might tell them what all the commotion was about.

When her and Deeks eventually wandered back into the living room, all they could hear were a few hushed whispers. When they were spotted though, the room fell into total and complete silence. No longer were people dispersed throughout the space- everyone stood in the center of the living room, just staring at Kensi and Deeks as they reentered.

Kensi's mother was the first to make any sort of movement. Julia took one step towards her daughter, extending a hand as she approached her side.

"Are you alright? What the hell just happened?"

Sam, Callen and Deeks clearly hadn't given away any details from the little scuffle- they were leaving that entirely up to Kensi.

"I'm fine mom," she said quietly before raising her head and speaking loudly to the whole group. "It's fine guys, really."

They were just silent, all still wearing expressions of concern.

Kensi sighed and glanced over to Deeks, almost apologetically. Neither of them wanted to bring any of it up again, but in all honesty the conversation just couldn't be avoided.

She shrugged, awkwardly shifted her weight from foot to foot. "It was Jack… he- he came back."

Michelle turned to Sam in confusion, mouthing the word 'Jack' with a perplexed expression. He whispered 'ex-fiancé' into her ear, which caused Michelle's eyes to focus back on Kensi, her mouth left agape.

Nell gasped, Eric looked dumbfounded, and for once Hetty actually seemed genuinely shocked- which was surprising, to say the very least. Even she couldn't have anticipated something like that.

Kensi recognized the astonished expressions that surrounded her, and was quick to interject before they could start asking questions.

"Look... it's over. And I'm fine- honestly."

Kensi seemed at peace with the situation, and it wasn't some front she was putting up so that they could just move on. For probably the first time in her life, when Kensi said that she was fine, she actually meant it.

Deeks wound one arm snugly around her waist, glancing down to Kensi before addressing their friends and family.

"_We're _fine. Sam and Callen almost killed him for me, but aside from that we're all good. He managed to escape unharmed."

That produced both a sigh and weak laugh from the people surrounding them.

Deeks exhaled loudly and began spinning his head around, eagerly sniffing the air.

"Is dinner ready yet? I'm dying over here."

Michelle nodded, pointing towards the kitchen and patting Nell on the shoulder.

"Nell and I finished everything up while you two were dealing with the unwanted houseguest."

"Good." His entire face turned up in a cheeky grin. "So it's actually edible."

Eric and Nell shot one another a look- they didn't want to deal with '_married Kensi and Deeks,' _but instead decided it was best to leave before things got messy. They slowly drifted away, Nell discreetly grabbing Eric's hand as she lead him towards the kitchen.

"Hey!" Kensi exclaimed, elbowing him in the side. "I can cook."

"No you can't, but you are _very good _at ordering takeout. I'll give you that."

Kensi crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows, but that didn't deter Deeks- he still held one hand tightly against her waist.

"Oh, come on. Your ex-fiance showed up on thanksgiving Kens- I think I'm allowed to have a little bit of fun with you."

"The man's got a point." Julia added, grinning at Kensi and winking at her favorite son-in-law.

Deeks was delighted by her response, and was keen to let Kensi know. "Yeah. What she said."

"You know what? You're a good man Deeks." Sam chimed in, half-sincere and half-joking as he glanced down to Michelle. "I would've killed the guy. Literally."

"I wasn't being nice," Deeks said, shrugging and he steering Kensi towards the kitchen as everyone else filed out of the living room.

"I just didn't want to deal with the paperwork."

* * *

Luckily, for both Kensi _and _Deeks' sanity, the rest of their thanksgiving dinner went off without a hitch. The food was divine, as Kensi hadn't really done much cooking at all aside from chopping vegetables.

Jack's dramatic and impromptu reappearance didn't cause any more issues after he was gone- nobody brought it up, and nobody asked questions. There wasn't much to tell, and anything that may have been worth knowing wasn't going to be divulged by Kensi, as moving on was truly the only thing on her mind.

When the last of their guests had wandered out the front door, the clock was nearing midnight, but Kensi and Deeks still had cleanup ahead of them.

"You know Deeks," Kensi said, coming to stand half way between the kitchen and the front door that had just pushed closed. "It's late. We should just do this in the morning."

Deeks chuckled. "You really will try anything to get out of cleaning, won't you?"

The house was in shambles- there really was no way he'd be able to sleep when his place looked like such a jumbled up mess.

"Me? Never!" She exclaimed, her hand flying up to her chest as she put on a jokingly hurt outward expression. "It is midnight past midnight though, so that seems like a valid enough excuse."

Deeks rolled his eyes, smirking at her dramatic rebuttal. "Come on babe- your ex-fiancé showed up tonight, the least you can do is help me clean."

Kensi laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "You're going to hold onto that forever, now aren't you?"

Deeks shrugged, closing one eye and glancing up to the ceiling as he contemplated her words. "No, not forever. Just give me like a week or so. Then I'll drop it."

Kensi may have rolled her eyes and showed her husband a slightly annoyed exterior, but his words delighted her more than she cared to tell. A week wasn't bad at all- she could deal with that, easily.

"Besides…" Deeks said, taking two steps closer to her. "We won't be able to clean in the morning, as we have to leave here around nine... I've got a little surprise for you tomorrow before we go back to work."

Kensi looked weary at first, but smiled once she saw how hugely he was grinning. "What is it?"

"I think that defeats the purpose of it being a _surprise, _wouldn't you agree?"

"We're married. That means there are no surprises."

"Oh, I think you know better than that, Blye." He wagged his finger at her. "That's not how it goes at all. We're married, so there are no _secrets _between us. I am still allowed to surprise you whenever I want."

She chuckled, looking to the floor in defeat. "Fine. Just promise it'll be a good surprise, okay? I think Jack's lovely little reappearance was enough of an alarming experience for one week."

"Oh yeah. Having an ex-fiancé show up out of the clear blue on Thanksgiving really can put a damper on things. It was pretty _'shocking and amazing,_' don't you think?"

"I'd say shocking before I'd say amazing, Deeks."

He shook his head slightly and raised his eyebrows, resting both hands on his hipbones. "Yeah, I would to."

Deeks' tone was lowered, any sense of tease almost entirely gone from his voice.

In that moment, after Kensi had actually used Jack's name in a sentence, she could visibly see her partner stiffen. Jack's 'second coming' was like an earthquake, in a way. He came, things got shaken up and maybe even a little broken, but everything went back to normal within a few minutes. However, the shockwaves were still coming- strong, fierce and unexpected as hell.

Deeks had played it off as a joke from the start, like always, but his second reply held much more realness and annoyance than the first. Not annoyance at Kensi- just annoyance at the situation.

So although he'd tried to tease her about it before, Kensi could tell Deeks wasn't entirely over the shock of it yet- she hadn't really expected him to be. So, before she could change her own mind about it, Kensi was quick to bring up the unfortunate topic of discussion once more.

"Are you okay, Deeks?" Kensi asked the question with a flaming sincerity, ducking her head down with her eyes still pinned to his. "I'm not just saying it this time. I'm honestly asking."

Deeks shrugged, placing both his hands in his pockets as he continued to stare at the floor. "I'm good if you're good."

She grimaced at his words, folding her arms across her chest and leaving them to rest on her stomach.

"Saying that has _never_ worked out well for us in the past, Deeks."

He wasn't easily catching onto her train of thought. "What do you…"

Deeks trailed off as Kensi raised her eyebrows. There was something roughly resembling a grin gracing her face- it was clear that her heart wasn't in it though.

"Oh. Right. That."

They were both of course referring to Deeks' undercover assignment with Monica, which by that point in time seemed like light years away.

Kensi sighed. "Yeah- that. You didn't mean it then and I'm sure you don't mean it now."

Deeks took two steps towards her. "Kens-"

She cut him off before he could begin, as she needed to make one final point.

"Look, Deeks- we're married. And along with a million other things, that means that I don't want you to keep anything from me. Nothing at all, because keeping everything bottled up inside doesn't do a damn bit of good. So- if you're sad, cry. If you're angry, yell at me. If you're upset, tell me why. But don't keep saying you're 'good,' because we both know that is a load of crap."

By the end of her rant, Kensi's eyes were damp with tears.

Deeks swallowed hard through a tight throat, exhaling and scratching the back of his head. "Okay."

Kensi turned her head to one side, eyeing him suspiciously. "Okay what?"

Deeks shrugged. "Your ex-fiancé showed up on Thanksgiving and, _sure,_ for a few minutes it sucked. It_ really_ sucked."

He sounded somewhat like a defiant teenager, but Kensi wasn't swayed. And as time went on, Deeks' voice returned to it's typical, more grownup tone.

"But Kens-" He took two more steps forward, completely closing the gap between them and placing both his hands on her shoulders. "-I'm not mad at you. And I'm not going to yell at you. I just don't know how I'm supposed to react to it all, I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel…" He dropped both his hands away from her and placed them behind his back, almost smiling. "I feel like I should be angry or something, you know? Like I should feel mad and upset and violated. But for some reason I just don't."

Kensi narrowed her eyes and grinned. "So you aren't upset?"

"No." He glanced up to the ceiling and then back down to her, a perplexed look on his face. "I'm not. You defended me, Kens. You made him leave. I don't think I could ask for anything more."

Kensi chuckled at his phrasing of the statement. "What, did you think that I wouldn't? We're married Deeks, _of course _I'll always defend you. I love you. And Jack showing up doesn't change any of that."

Deeks immediately pulled Kensi close, wrapping both arms around her waist. "I love you too. And that's why I'm not upset, okay?"

Kensi relaxed beneath his grip, winding her arms around the back of his neck. "Really?"

Deeks flashed a crooked smile, one that showed off all of his brilliantly white teeth. "As long as you're still here, how could I be?"

Kensi snorted with laughter before briefly pressing her lips to his.

"Touché."


	39. Home Again

**Here's another chapter for you all! It's crazy how long this story has become, but I'm not even close to being finished yet. I have so many ideas for the story, so I'm not going to rush anything and we'll just see what happens.**

**You won't want to miss the next chapter in particular- it contains lots of character development, which I think is so important to have, even when everything is going well between our two favorite lovebirds. If you can't tell, I'm rather excited about it. :)**

**Please review as always! I love hearing what you all have to say!**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Are you really not going to tell me where we're going, Deeks?" Kensi asked as she sat in the passenger seat of her car, impatiently waiting while Deeks drove them towards an undisclosed location.

He still wouldn't tell her anything about his little surprise, whatever it was, and Kensi was getting jumpy. She knew that coming from Deeks it could only be a good thing, but she wanted to know all the same.

Even with the annoyance that was lingering in her voice, Deeks still grinned at her question. "No, I'm not going to tell you."

"And why is that?"

"Wow, you _really_ don't understand the concept of a surprise, do you?"

"I understand the concept. I just don't get the point of it. Why not just tell me where you're taking me?"

"Because it would ruin the buildup of it all," he said, grinning and glancing briefly to his right at Kensi. "But judging by the look on your face, the buildup has already been ruined."

Kensi narrowed her eyes. "I think you forget that I'm pregnant sometimes."

"Why would you think that?" His eyes momentarily drifted down to her rather large stomach. "It's pretty obvious."

"Because you should know from all those pregnancy books you read that pregnant woman can have _very_ short tempers."

Deeks mock-grimaced. "Oh- yeah. Sorry babe."

Kensi grinned, gaining a new confidence after winning their little war of words. "Uh-huh. Don't sweat it."

"I won't. But you are going to enjoy this. I promise."

Deeks was far to giddy about it all for Kensi to not get just the tiniest bit excited herself.

They drove for just a minute longer in comfortable silence, the stereo on low. Their surroundings really weren't any sort of a giveaway as to where the final destination would be, so when Deeks' voice piped up, it came as a surprise to Kensi.

"Okay- close your eyes."

"What? Why?"

"Just… please?"

She sighed and shut her eyelids tightly, raising both hands up to cover her face.

"No peeking, okay?"

Kensi giggled. "I won't peek."

"Promise?"

"Oh my gosh, yes! Just drive, Deeks!"

"I am- we're almost there. Hold tight."

Kensi obeyed and waited for Deeks to give her the all clear. The car came to a screeching halt around five minutes later, and she could hear the smile in Deeks' voice as he spoke.

"Don't look yet. I'll lead you out."

By that point, any annoyance Kensi had previously felt about the situation was long gone. She just was excited, eager, and confused- all at once.

Deeks ran around and opened the car door for Kensi. She stepped out and grabbed her partner's hand, allowing him to lead her along. Her eyes were still clamped shut, and Kensi didnt have even the slightest clue as to where they were.

All she knew was that it was quiet- no loud sound of zooming engines or car horns. Kensi's heart picked up speed when she faintly heard waves crashing against a shore, though it still gave her little or no idea as to where she was standing. She inhaled deeply- the air was crisp and smelled of a fresh rainfall.

"Don't cheat, Blye."

"How am I cheating?"

"I can see you sniffing. Your nostrils are flaring."

"Really Deeks? I'm not allowed to sniff the air? I wouldn't keep this up if I were you. You seem to forget that you married a federal agent."

"You're not armed."

Her eyebrows lifted. "My backup is still in the car. Don't make me use it."

"You already lash me with your mockery, isn't that punishment enough?"

Kensi's lips turned up into a grin, her eyes remaining closed.

Deeks stopped leading Kensi along, shifting her around until she was standing exactly where he needed her to be.

"You ready?"

Kensi exhaled. "So ready."

Deeks chuckled and hovered his hands in front of Kensi's eyes, waiting to pull them apart at the perfect moment.

"Okay. Three, two, one… open!"

He took a step back, facing Kensi so he could perfectly gage her reaction.

She took in her surroundings, trying to comprehend what she was looking at exactly. In front of her was a house- a beautiful house.

It stood two stories tall, boasting stunning, older style colonial craftsmanship and a light tan exterior. Kensi couldn't take her eyes off the front bay window, which was absolutely massive. It was large enough that even from the front lawn you could clearly get an image of the backyard, which was fenced and filled with perfectly green grass.

Kensi's mind became cluttered with a million different thoughts, ones that she couldn't begin to decipher on her own, so she turned to Deeks for help.

He was just smiling at her, arms folded across his chest.

Kensi lifted one hand up to point faintly at the house. "Is this, um-"

"Ours? Yes it is."

Kensi was positively in love with the simple honesty of that statement.

"You bought us a house?"

"I did."

"How did you, um…" she stared at her partner, trying to formulate an intelligible sentence. "I mean, when did you have time to do this?"

He shrugged. "You've been home a lot, because of the baby, so sometimes I'll slip out and-"

"Go look at houses?"

"Well, when you put it that way…" Deeks chuckled nervously, suddenly looking rather sheepish as he glanced down to stare at his feet. "Are you mad? I'm sorry Kens, I should've-"

Kensi cut him off promptly. "Are you insane?"

Deeks glanced around, as if he was hoping to get a second opinion on that question, but there was nobody around to ask.

"Not from what I can gather."

She laughed, mouth agape as she looked past his head and stared at the white shudders that decorated the lower level windows.

"I'm not mad at you, Deeks!"

He immediately sighed in relief. "Really?"

"Of course!"

He was being so adorable she could hardly even stand it any longer. Kensi flung her arms around his neck, and although it was unexpected, Deeks still caught her easily. She pressed her lips to his for a brief moment before pulling away just two inches or so, leaning her forehead against his.

"You bought us a house, Deeks."

Even as they rolled off her tongue, the words didn't seem like they could be true, and she desperately craved something tangible to back them up.

He laughed at her expression, which was still one of shock. Deeks looked almost proud of himself in a way as he pulled back just a hilt and pointed at the front door.

"Do you wanna go inside?"

It wasn't truly a question, since Deeks already knew the answer. As was expected, Kensi eagerly bobbed her head in reply.

Deeks took Kensi's hand in his, leading her towards the front door. She looked down to gaze at her feet as she made her way up the front steps, taking in every single detail of the pristine pavement. Even the noise her flats made walking up the front steps seemed, in a word or two,_ purely perfect._

"I'll let you do the honors," Deeks said, stopping and pulling out a gold house key.

She eagerly snatched it from his hands, a smile still apparent through her bitten bottom lip. Kensi inserted the key, turned it two clicks to the left and smiled even wider when she heard it unlock. She moved along rather slowly, opening the door and peering her head around the tall wooden threshold.

Kensi only had to take one short, small step inside before she was in awe once more. The whole place was empty, just waiting to be filled and decorated. Original architectural lines and details blended seamlessly with the more modern luxurious finishes, creating a living space that somehow seemed just right.

Stepping out of the foyer and into the family room, Kensi watched closely as the sunlight streamed in through the family room windows, magnifying each miniscule particle of dust that wafted through the air.

Her vision was blurred, her eyes stinging as she spun around to face her husband. He was just standing in one of the arched doorways that separated the rooms, diligently examining her every move.

"This house is so…"

Deeks was completely sincere as he completed her sentence.

"Beautiful?"

Kensi smiled, thankful that Deeks was always keen to help her find the right words.

"Exactly."

Deeks grinned, ducking his head while taking two leisurely and relaxed steps towards her.

"So… you like it?"

Kensi was still overwhelmed, and found it exceedingly difficult to properly articulate the words that were sitting on the tip of her tongue.

"It's amazing."

"Wait 'till you see the kitchen."

Deeks pointed one hand to the left, causing Kensi to immediately spring into motion.

She made her way into the kitchen, which consisted of white-antiqued cabinets, white and gray marbled countertops, and stainless steel appliances, which gave the room a more modern feel.

"You don't cook, but I figured that if I ever wanted you to learn I should get you a pretty badass looking kitchen."

Kensi smirked at his joke, but the sheen over her eyes wasn't gone just yet.

"I can't believe you bought us a house," she whispered, her voice quivering as she spoke.

Deeks' classic crooked smile resurfaced rather quickly- when he was that happy, it was a struggle to keep it off of his face for any long stretch of time. He took a few steps closer, shrugging with his hands in his pockets.

"It was the very least I could do after getting you pregnant."

Kensi chuckled. "Seriously though, Deeks. You did a really good job."

"I didn't think that was ever even a question."

Still rolling her eyes, Kensi leaned her head onto Deeks' shoulder, melting into his side as he pulled her close with one hand held firmly against her waist.

"Welcome home, Kens."


	40. Stolen

**Thank you for all the reviews! I appreciate them more than you know! Just as I promised: lots of character development here and in the next few chapters. I hope you all enjoy, and if you do, please keep reviewing!:)**

**P.S. I changed my username on here- it's now imgoingtocallyoufern, which matches my name on tumblr! YAY! :D**

**-Hazel**

* * *

Kensi and Deeks sauntered happily into OSP the next morning, reluctantly separating from one another as they reached the deserted bullpen. Neither person knew what the day was going to hold, and although both partners were still on desk duty, they were happy to be back working in the place where they belonged.

Multiple gunshot wounds, holiday stressfulness, a mysteriously reappearing ex-fiance and a pregnancy that was fully in it's third trimester had made for one hell of a month, so being back at NCIS made everything feel just a little more normal. How to properly define their new version of normal was becoming increasingly tricky as time pressed on, but Kensi still believed that her wok family was always a good basis for comparison.

"You ready?" Deeks asked, wearing a grin as he threw his backpack down on his desk.

Kensi stopped moving, confused by her partner's words."Ready for what?"

He pointed towards the two empty desks in the bullpen, which had yet to be filled by the missing members of their team.

"We're here before Sam and Callen! That hasn't happened in months, so we get to give them never-ending amounts of crap about it."

"Are you five? Did I really marry a five year old?"

"No, you didn't, that would've been really weird. You married me."

Deeks shot her a goofily wide smile, fully showing off both sets of bright white teeth.

If he wanted to toy around before the guys got there, Kensi would play along, at least for a little while.

"So what do you think they're up to?"

He looked around the space. "Well... I don't think they're in any sort of trouble, as we haven't gotten an 'agent in distress' alert or anything."

Kensi chuckled. "Nice investigating, Sherlock. Now tell me, what else do the hidden clues tell you?"

"Ha-ha. Very funny. Keep it up Fern- like I said yesterday, lashing me with your mockery is something that you've become far too accustomed to doing."

She rolled her eyes, leaning back against the side of her desk. "You gonna answer the question or not?"

Deeks began sauntering around the bullpen, looking up toward the second story windows as he gave Kensi a rather dramatic reading.

"Well, it looks like the boys were taking their sweet time this morning... maybe they stopped and got coffee or tea on their way in? A bear claw? No, Sam is far too much of a health freak for that. They probably went for an early morning run or something, watched the sunrise, lost track of time-"

"Deeks?"

"Yeah?"

Kensi snorted with laughter. "You should stop now. This is getting weird."

"Aw, come on Fern! They make fun of us on a daily basis, why can't I mock them too?"

"Nah- not us. Just you."

"You know, you could at least throw babe in there at the end, it might make it sound slightly less rude."

"Fair enough. But it's still just you, _babe._"

Deeks sucked his lips into his mouth, nodding slowly in almost proud agreement.

"Alright. That's fine. Mock me all you want, but that means be that when they finally show up,_ I'm_ the only one who gets to have all the fun."

Kensi lifted one eyebrow. "You really love doing that, don't you?"

He closed his eyes for theatrical effect. "So much, you have no idea."

Barely were they even able to make another move towards actually _sitting down_ in their desk chairs before Eric whistled loudly, the sound carrying from the top of the stairs.

"Yo, lovebirds! You're late, and everyone's already up in OPS! We've got a case!"

He was gone before Kensi could offer up any sort of a rebuttal, so she just turned to Deeks and shook her head, laughing.

"I'm sorry partner. It seems like you were wrong all along."

Deeks tilted his head to one side and proceeded to jog up the stairs ahead of her, not making a peep as Kensi just chuckled quietly to herself, biting her lower lip as she grinned.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I'd rather not," he muttered while making a mock grimace, one that caused Kensi to bust out laughing yet again.

Walking into the operations center they found the entire rest of their team, _Hetty included,_ huddled around the center monitor. Everyone looked up as Kensi and Deeks entered, their expressions surprisingly somber.

The laughter quickly faded away as Kensi and Deeks took in the tone of the room, which wasn't exactly cheerful. There was only one image on the giant flat screen televison- it was of a young girl, one who looked to only be around five or six years of age.

The sight was disconcerting, as it was rare that their team got a case revolving around someone under the age of thirty. Kensi's eyes shot over to Deeks, who just shrugged- he knew just as much as she did, which was nothing at all.

"Hey guys. What did we miss?"

Hetty was the first to chime in. "Not thing just yet, we were waiting until everyone arrived. But you're all here now, so I'll give Ms. Jones the floor."

Nell nodded, pointing to the image on the screen. "This girl's name is Amanda Bennings. She's five years old, and the daughter of Paul and Renee Bennings."

Deeks' eyebrows furrowed instantly as he heard the names said aloud. "Do you mean the _senator_ Paul Bennings?"

"Yes, I do."

Deeks crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowed. "Right. So… what does she have to do with our case?"

Hetty spoke up before Nell could go any further. "Everything, Mr. Deeks. Yesterday evening, two armed men abducted her at gunpoint from her soccer practice."

All eyes, including Deeks', moved to focus in on Kensi, ready to gage her reaction- everything suddenly made total and complete sense to her.

That was the reason why the entire team had been staring down Kensi as she'd entered the room- when it came to cases like that, she was a flight risk. An overly emotional, extremely pregnant, _flight risk_.

Nobody knew how she'd handle such a case, especially so late in her pregnancy. Rarely was anyone able to deal with a child abduction case easily, but since Kensi was about to be a mother for the first time, it caused her emotions to run rampant and hold more weight than anyone else's possibly could.

So although her heart was fiercely pained as she stared at the photo of the little girl on the flatscreen, Kensi kept a calm and cool exterior.

"How did the case get assigned to us?"

Hetty pointed to the screen. "We don't know what they want with her, and that is why this case has been assigned to this team. It could be in the interest of national security, and we're not certain of much at this point. There's a lot that is still up in the air."

Kensi nodded and looked to the floor. Deeks glanced in his wife's direction briefly, taking in her awkward stance. He could tell something wasn't right, solely from the look on her face. That wasn't the time or the place to ask her about it though, so he just stifled any words he wanted to say to her and turned back towards Hetty.

"Where do we even start?"

Eric was keen to answer his question. "We have this-"

He punched a few keys on his keyboard and an image immediately flew to the forefront of the flatscreen.

"That's the driver of the getaway car- his name is Shaun Croyov. He is a Russian national, but holds dual citizenship there as well as here in the US. This is all we have so far though, but we'll keep digging. We got a partial plate number off the car, and it has a GPS, which we tracked to an abandoned warehouse downtown. The car has definitely been dumped, but we still need Sam and Callen to drive down and check it out, see what they can find."

The guys nodded, and Hetty interjected. "Mr. and Mrs. Deeks- since neither one of you have been cleared for field work yet, you two are going to talk to the family. Mr. Beale will send the address to your phones."

"Right."

Kensi said the word bluntly, spinning around and speed walking out the door, forcing Deeks to practically run after her. She didn't want to stay in there any longer than was absolutely necessary, as the little girl's picture was slowly becoming ingrained into her mind.

Deeks almost got caught in the automatic doors, but dodged in between them and finally caught up to Kensi's side as she descended the staircase.

"You good Kens?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

Her words told him one thing, but her face said another. She didn't smile, nor did she frown. On the exterior, Kensi was cold as stone.

But judging by how quickly she was walking out to the car, and how she muttered "you can drive" while flinging herself into the passenger seat, Deeks could tell that their newly acquired case was affecting Kensi much more than she cared to let on.

"Babe- do you wanna talk about it?" Deeks finally asked after they'd been driving along in complete silence for around five minutes or so.

Kensi considered brushing off the question and asking what he meant by it, but she knew better. No matter what Kensi said, Deeks could always see straight through her, so she just decided to tell him how she was feeling up front and save them both the trouble.

"I just hate cases like this," she said through gritted teeth, rubbing her eyes with one hand and leaving the other to rest on her stomach. "They're so… awful. Criminals make mistakes, get greedy, and innocent kids are caught up in the mix because of it. And… it's just so _wrong,_ Deeks."

He sighed heavily. "I know it is."

Getting everything out in the open felt surprisingly good to Kensi, so she continued on. "I mean, how can someone be that heartless? How can someone _abduct a child_? I really don't understand it."

"That's what makes us different from them," Deeks said, shrugging and keeping his eyes planted on the road in front of him, sneaking quick peeks away every so often to look at his wife. "We fight to keep everyone safe, they fight to keep _themselves_ safe. Those are just the types of people that we have to deal with because of this job."

Deeks could see Kensi nod in his peripheral vision, mind elsewhere as her eyes automatically focused in on the rain droplets that were trickling down the outside of her side window.

"But you're right, Kens," Deeks added. "Anyone who is heartless enough to abduct an innocent child doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as we do. And that's just a fact."

Though it was brief, Kensi smiled at Deeks' passionate wording, in total and complete concurrence with his statement.

"Agreed."

Deeks could still see her staring out the window, eyes glazed over as she wore a blank expression.

"Kens?"

"Hm?" She replied, raising her eyebrows and trying to act as chipper as possible.

"We'll find her. We always do."

Kensi nodded- hoping and praying that his sentence was true- not just an empty promise. And although she knew hardly anything about their victim or her family yet, Kensi would be sure that the team found her, one way or another. She was counting on it.


	41. The Right One

**Here is a super long chapter to try and make up for the lack of updates recently! I have been so busy, my apologies:( I hope you all enjoy this chapter regardless, and please review as always! :)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

Deeks pulled up into the driveway of the home address that Eric had sent to his cell phone. A relatively large house sat in front of them, boasting an oceanfront view and circular driveway. It was a typical California-style villa, one that had all the makings of an extravagant politician's house.

Kensi knew though, as she studied the front door and looked for some sort of movement behind the large bay windows, that the people with the most money were usually the people with the most problems as well.

Of course it still wasn't usual for someone's child to be kidnapped because of a couple's opulent wealth, but regardless it still made Kensi appreciate her simple and perfect little life with Deeks all the more. They weren't rich by any stretch of the imagination, but they made one another happy, which was all that mattered.

"You ready?" Deeks asked kindly, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening his door halfway.

Truthfully Kensi wasn't ready, she never would be. Those types of situations were always tough, and she couldn't even begin to imagine what they were going through.

Though she had only seen an image of her child through a black and white screen, Kensi was already so madly in love with her little girl. She knew without a shadow of doubt that she'd always do whatever it took to protect her. So just the mere, completely hypothetical thought of her child being in danger gave Kensi an incredibly large amount of empathy towards Amanda's parents, an amount which was more than she could've ever thought possible.

Nevertheless, Kensi nodded at her partner, keeping her expression stoic. This was going to be a tough one, no doubt about it.

She stepped out of the car and slammed her door shut, not pausing for a split second until reaching the front porch. Deeks just kept his eyes glued to her back, watching her silently. His wife was tough as nails, and Deeks knew that she was trying desperately to internalize her feelings of grief and guilt.

It wasn't really working this time around, and the emotionless exterior that Kensi had built up around herself was easily beginning to crumble, he could tell. It was only a matter of time before the walls fell down completely.

Sadly though, the truth was that the tough stuff hadn't even come yet- it was all lying on the other side of that door. Kensi rapped her fist against it just two times, careful not to seem too perky about it.

It was only a matter of two or three seconds before a middle aged man opened the door, one who she immediately recognized as Paul Bennings from his campaign ads that were strewn about the city. In that moment though, he didn't look quite as put together or clean-shaven as he'd always seemed in the scrutiny of the public eye.

This version of Paul Bennings looked to be exhausted, as well as distraught- and rightfully so. Just the idea of what he was going through was simply soul crushing, but Kensi really couldn't start thinking about it. She had a job to do.

Holding up her badge and gesturing for Deeks to do the same, Kensi began to speak.

"Mr. Bennings? My name is special agent Kensi Deeks, and this is my partner, detective Marty-"

Kensi stopped speaking abruptly when she turned her head to glance at her partner, who shot her the slightest hint of a look for not saying his last name. It already felt strange for Kensi to use her new last name, and giving away the fact that they were married right off the bat always seemed to produce a whole new load of questions, none of which pertained to their case.

Regardless, it was even weirder for Kensi to not say his last name as well, so she just picked up right where she'd left off.

"-Marty Deeks, LAPD."

Paul swallowed and nodded, leaning one hand against the doorway for balance.

"Yeah, come on in."

He stepped aside, gesturing for the two agents to enter. Kensi couldn't help but gawk at the beautiful foyer as she waited for Mr. Bennings to shut and lock the front door. Two massive staircases sat in the entryway, each split to one side of the room before joining up together on the second floor. It was traditional, symmetrical, and oh-so-stunning.

"Beautiful home," Deeks said quietly with a half-hearted smile as Paul walked up beside them again.

They'd learned from Hetty over the years that for those types of situations, making at least a tiny bit of small talk was good- it helped to break the icy barrier that was usually always put up in those types of situations. Not overdoing it was the trick.

"Thank you," Paul muttered quietly in response, running one hand through his already severely dischelveled hair. "My wife decorated it all…"

He trailed off as they entered the great room, where his wife was sitting on the couch, just staring at a phone on the coffee table in front of her. She was blond and beautiful, all the makings of a politician's wife. But just like her husband, the woman was clearly lacking both sleep and a sound mind.

Mrs. Bennings waited to look up until her husband actually said her name.

"Renee? The agents from NCIS are here."

Moving hurriedly she hopped up from the couch, clearly trying to find the way out of the haziness of her own mind. She leaned into her husbands side, not making a peep- clearly she was waiting for either Kensi or Deeks to speak up first.

Suddenly things were feeling more and more real for Kensi, and she was having some difficulty finding her voice. Luckily though, Paul wasn't going to make his guests introduce themselves twice.

"Honey- meet special agent Kensi Deeks and detective Marty Deeks."

He furrowed his eyebrows upon saying Deeks' name, second guessing himself.

"Did I get that right?"

Deeks bobbed his head in confirmation, arms folded.

"Yes sir."

Renee was the next to chime in.

"So you two are... married?"

And there they went again: _playing twenty questions_. Kensi honestly didn't care though- if their victim's family was at ease, than so was she.

"Yes ma'am."

Renee nodded, but her mind was clearly drifting elsewhere. She didn't even ask about Kensi's pregnancy, which was outwardly obvious to anyone with two eyes and a brain.

"Well… have you found anything yet? It's been a day."

Surprisingly enough, the woman's tone wasn't short or snippy, just a strong mix of sadness and hopefulness- both emotions combining together to produce a rather confusingly worded question.

Kensi wanted to make promises, to say that they were certain Amanda was coming home, but she knew none of that. Despite any of her own personal feelings, Kensi just had to put on a brave face and say the practically rehearsed lines that they told everybody during hostage situations, so she did just that.

"We're still waiting for updates from our team. They are doing everything they can to track her down."

Renee nodded faintly, drifting away from her husband and moving back towards the couch. Everyone followed closely behind, Kensi and Deeks each taking a seat in two rather uncomfortable chairs that had been placed across from the couch. They were clearly there more for their beauty than any type of functionality.

Deeks strongly considered grabbing his wife's hand, maybe offering some sort of support- but that was off limits. Professionalism was necessary, even in the most tense of situations.

"May I ask you some questions about your daughter?" Kensi asked, scooting forward in her chair and resting her elbows on her knees- or trying to at least. At six months pregnant, Kensi's baby bump was practically swallowing her whole.

Paul and Renee both nodded, allowing Kensi to have the floor. She glanced over to Deeks before beginning, making sure she wasn't speaking over him or stepping on his toes. It didn't seem like that was the case, so Kensi just continued on.

"Can you think of anyone in particular who would want to hurt her? Anyone who would do something like this?"

Renee just shrugged, raising and dropping her hands back down to her lap with a quiet thud.

"Nobody in particular, if that's what you're wondering. She is _five years old. _The girl doesn't have any enemies."

They could both see the woman getting agitated, so Deeks jumped in to smooth out the tension.

"We're just trying to narrow down our field of suspects as fast as possible," Deeks said, tone soft and gentle. "So… there's nobody that comes to mind?"

Paul answered his question. "No, detective. We have money though- that's a well known fact. Anybody could be behind this."

A thought instantly sprung into Kensi's mind upon hearing that last sentence.

"Yeah, if they had access to your finances…" She whispered, staring down at the ground and not speaking to any one person in particular. "Does anyone else besides the two of you have access to your bank accounts?"

Renee wasn't sure what Kensi was thinking, but Mrs. Bennings was quick to reply as it definitely seemed like she had some sort of a plan.

"No, nobody besides the two of us. Why?"

Furrowing her eyebrows, Kensi failed to answer Renee's question, instead just springing up from her chair. She glanced down to Deeks, who looked to be rather alarmed himself.

"I'm gonna… go make a call, okay? I'll be right back."

Deeks trusted Kensi when she had a hunch, and allowed her to leave without a single word in protest.

Kensi spun around and walked until she was sure that she'd be out of earshot from the family, finally settling on the kitchen as being the most secluded area. She scrolled through her recent calls to find Eric's phone number, and waited for only two rings before he picked up the call.

"Kensi- what's up?"

"Hey Eric," she whispered, peeking her head out into the great room as she spoke. Deeks was talking to the family, and although Kensi couldn't hear what was being said, she could tell solely from the look on his face that Deeks was being his gentle and compassionate self.

"I need you to run something for me."

"Of course. What can I do?"

"You're looking into their financials, right?"

"Yeah… what are you thinking?"

Kensi ran one hand through her hair, attempting to get her thoughts in order. "I don't know exactly, but I'm pretty sure that this wasn't done by someone they knew. The Bennings just don't seem like the type of people who have a ton of enemies."

"But… isn't he a politician?" Eric asked, his tone almost accusatory, like that fact in particular was supposed to give some sort of a negative connotation.

"Yeah, he is, but I still think this was an outside job. Someone learned how much money they had and got greedy. So- I want you to call the bank that they use, and see if anyone has tried to access their financial records recently, using an alias or the name of a close family member. It's a longshot, maybe... but if _anything _pops, call me, okay?"

"On it," Eric said, clicking off the call without another word.

Kensi reentered the great room to only find one person remaining: Renee. She was staring out one of the windows into the beautiful backyard, but spun around when she heard Kensi approaching, obviously taken off guard. The special agent would've sworn that she could see tears glistening in Renee's eyes, but she didn't acknowledge them.

"Your husband and Paul went up to look around in Amanda's room. Mr. Deeks wanted to see if they could find anything useful."

Kensi could tell by the tone in her voice that she didn't believe it was worth their time.

"You don't think they'll find something to point us towards her?"

Renee shook her head, folding her arms across her chest.

"I've spent all night going through her room: there's nothing. She wasn't taken from here, she was taken from a soccer field. They don't connect."

"Right," Kensi said, placing both hands in her pockets. "I get it."

There was a momentary silence as both women just nodded at one another, clearly unsure of what to say. They needed something to fill the time, and happily spoken words seemed like they'd be the best filler.

"So… I assume that you're pregnant?"

Renee sounded chipper enough, so Kensi figured it was safe to sound the exact same way.

"Uh-huh. How'd ya guess?"

She laughed, taking two steps closer to the agent.

"Your stomach seemed to be a pretty good giveaway."

Kensi shrugged happily, looking down to her torso and resting her hands on either side of her stomach.

"Yeah, well, by now it's gotten pretty difficult to hide behind loose fitting shirts. It's just… _there._"

"Are you excited?"

Kensi nodded happily, unable to talk about the upcoming event without some sense of eagerness creeping into her voice.

"It was unexpected, but yeah- we're definitely ready by now. The nine months that your body gives seems to be a pretty good time buffer. It gives you awhile to get ready, to make sure you're prepared… you know, stuff like that."

"Absolutely," Renee stated knowingly. Suddenly, Kensi wasn't sure if this was the best conversation to have with someone who's child was missing.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have-"

"Don't be silly," Mrs. Bennings said, waving one hand to brush Kensi off. "I brought it up. Besides- it's a good way to get my mind off of things."

Kensi smiled half heartedly, gravitating back towards the chair that she'd been sitting in previously.

"In that case... ask away."

Renee took a seat across from her, and reached one hand out to grab a picture of Amanda off the coffee table.

"Children- what a wonderful addition to life, don't you think?"

Kensi smiled and stifled a chuckle from herself- she'd never ever wanted kids._ Ever. _They'd always seemed particularly annoying to her in the past. Screamed a lot, cried every minute, needed to be fed too often. She certainly hadn't proven to be good with them either.

But nevertheless- it was undeniable that Deeks had changed _everything._

"Well… if you have the right person to help you, then yes. Absolutely."

"I would agree. Paul made it easy." She cocked her head to one side. "Your partner seems like a good man."

Kensi grinned. "Yes. He's a _great_ man. I'm lucky."

Renee pointed behind herself to the upper floor.

"Does it ever complicate things? Working together, I mean?"

Kensi shrugged, unsure of how to properly answer the question.

"In the beginning… maybe. We didn't know what we were. But he's the one person that I trust with _everything_, so having him by my side when lives are on the line is important. You need to have someone you can believe in… someone that will always come through."

Kensi was staring at the tiled floor as she spoke, and eventually looked up to meet Renee's gaze when she finished her rant.

"He makes the life easier, I guess."

Renee smiled feebly, and Kensi assumed that the pained expression was the most she could really give out right then and there.

"The right one always does."

Kensi snapped out of her daze when Deeks and Paul descended the staircase. Although Kensi was certain that Renee was right, that there wasn't any hidden clues in Amanda's room- she was still hopeful.

Deeks just shook his head upon entering the room, giving an answer to Kensi before she could even verbalize her question. She folded her arms and nodded, but her partner looked as if he had more to say.

"Can we talk for a minute, Kens?"

She turned to Renee, wordlessly asking for permission to go. Of course she just smiled, turning to face Paul while Kensi did the same with Deeks.

He pulled her out of the room and into the kitchen- the same place Kensi had gone just a little while earlier to get some peace and quiet.

"What's going on? Who did you call?"

"Just Eric."

"Does he have anything new?"

She shook her head, sharply inhaling a deep breath.

"Nothing yet- but we'll see. He's gonna call me if they get any new info."

"Good, good…" Deeks really didn't know what more to say, but Kensi chimed in quickly, filling the silence.

"How is Mr. Bennings holding up?"

Deeks shrugged. "He's doing well, considering the circumstances. Mrs. Bennings?"

"Same. Seems surprising, really, but I can't judge. I don't know how I'd react, honestly. It's a tough thing to imagine."

Kensi ran one hand through her hair, her field of vision becoming small as her eyes narrowed in to focus solely on Deeks.

"Having the one person that you love more than anyone else in the world taken away…. and there's nothing you can do about it aside from just sit and _wait. _It would be awful._"_

Deeks' forehead creased in confusion. "Are we still talking about the Bennings?"

Kensi's mouth curved up in a smile, but it wasn't really a smile- just a place holder for a frown.

"Sure."

Nobody was around, so Kensi didn't hesitate to lean in and drop a quick kiss to her husband's cheek. That move made it clear that they were no longer referring to Amanda's situation.

Deeks looked to the floor, grimacing. "Kens... let's not, okay?"

"Not what?"

"Compare and contrast. Play the what if game. It's not healthy-"

"Yet I still do it all the time."

Deeks sighed, folding his arms. "It's not us out there… waiting, wondering, not knowing. So let's not pretend like it is."

Kensi cocked her head to one side, almost misty eyed but doing her very best to hold it all in.

"Okay. I got it."

Deeks began taking one step towards the door, but stopped when he found that Kensi wasn't following closely behind like usual. She seemed paralyzed, unable to move any of her limbs as her eyes remained glued to the floor.

"Kens- you good?"

She looked up and immediately began walking back towards the great room, trying to shield her face from Deeks- Kensi's eyes were clearly misty by that point.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"


	42. Hidden Eyes

**There really isn't much more I can say here besides thank you, and please give me your thoughts on this chapter below! I've actually really enjoyed writing case details here as well as in these past few chapters, which is surprising as it usually isn't my thing! Anyways, I hope you all enjoy:)**

**- Hazel **

* * *

_"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"_

Kensi was gone before Deeks could get another word in. He just stood there for a moment after she walked away, staring up at the ceiling with his lips pressed into a firm line.

Stalking back into the great room was easy, even with the lie that she'd just told. Getting out of that conversation was highly vital to the success of their case, or at least she felt that it was. They were moving into what she was sure would be an even tougher exchange of words on the other side of those walls, and she needed to be both professional and well prepared.

That was tough though, as they had no new information, no new leads, and on top of it all the team was dealing with a time sensitive case- so those three things combined proved to create a rather tense situation.

"Anything?" Renee asked, eyebrows raised.

Kensi opened her mouth to say no, as well as maybe add in a few extra kind words, but the phone rang- catching everyone off guard.

Kensi and Deeks both stared at each other for a short moment, eyes wide. It could be the kidnappers- actually, it most likely _was _the kidnappers, whoever those people were. Family and friends rarely called at a time like that, as anyone who knew what was going on was always told to give the family some space, and not jam up their phone lines.

"Renee- I'm going to need to you answer the phone. Just stay calm, alright? Put it on speaker and listen to whatever they say."

The woman nodded at Kensi, already teary eyed. Shakily, she brought one hand down to pick up the phone, immediately putting it on the loud speaker.

"Hello?"

The phone lines were already being monitored, so neither Kensi nor Deeks had to worry about getting a trace or location. Eric and Nell were hard at work, they were sure.

There was a short silence after Renee said her greeting; just some muffled noises that only lasted for a short moment before one clear voice came booming through on the other end. The voice had clearly been altered, as it sounded more robotic than human.

"We want ten million dollars via wire transfer- I have sent the name of the account to your phone. Once the money has gone through, we'll send you another message with a location to come pick up the girl. Just you two though- _no agents._"

Kensi glanced over worriedly to her partner, nervously tapping one foot on the hardwood floors. Usually, a request like that meant that they should expect trouble.

Renee swallowed hard before continuing on. "How will we know that she's still safe?"

There wasn't a moment of hesitation. "You won't. But do as you're told, and you'll get her back."

Instantly the line went dead. Kensi quickly leaned down to put the phone back in it's place so she could make the shrill noise stop. To her, it was the sound of _failure._

Deeks was already dialing Eric's phone number, hoping that he'd been able to get something useful off the phone call.

"Eric! Did you get a trace?"

Faintly, Deeks could hear the sound of swiftly typing fingers. "Dammit! No, it was dropped too quickly. Either way it was totally untraceable- these people have some _intense_ firewalls put up."

Deeks sighed. "Okay. Thanks Eric. Keep looking."

"Will do."

He turned his attention back towards the three people in front of him, simply shaking his head.

"Firewalls?" Kensi asked, her tone reflecting the true awfulness of their current situation.

"Yeah."

"Well- at least we now know that they're professionals," she said, trying to look on the bright side. "Encrypted phone lines, wire transfers to off shore accounts- these people know what they're doing."

Deeks folded his arms. "And they've done it before."

"It's a classic M.O.- kidnappers scout out wealthy individuals, abduct their child, demand ransom," Kensi said to her partner before turning her attention to the Bennings. "This is a good thing, it most likely means that she's safe. They won't hurt her if you do as you're told."

They both exhaled, each person barely showing a smile- but at least it was something.

Deeks shot his wife a bit of a warning look, wordlessly telling her not to make a promise that she couldn't keep. Kensi simply stared back- she wasn't phased by it. They were going to get her back, she would make it happen. There was no way Kensi would be able to go back on her word and still retain some aspect of her sanity.

"We're going to give them the money," Paul exclaimed suddenly. "We have to give them the money... right?"

"Yes," Deeks said, chiming in before Kensi could pipe up. "You at least have to _agree_ to do it, we can figure the rest out later."

Paul and Renee turned their attention to one another, speaking in hushed tones. Deeks took it as an opportunity to talk to his partner without any interruptions, and pulled her just a far enough away that they could speak in solitude, back in the foyer.

"Kens…" Deeks began, stopping and running a hand through his hair, clearly torn. "Are we really going to give them the money?"

Kensi glanced over to the victim's family- they weren't paying attention to the two partners whatsoever.

"Isn't that what you just told them?"

"Yes, it is- but that's a whole hell of a lot of money to give away to kidnappers. It seems way too easy. They could just take the money _and _Amanda."

"Deeks- these are professionals, like you said. They won't want to deal with having a kid on their hands. They'll give her back, and once we have her Eric will find a way to retrieve the money."

"You know it's not that simple."

Kensi was clearly getting frustrated. "What's more important to you? Amanda or the money?"

Deeks answered the question calmly, trying to hide how hurt he was by her simple question. "Who do you think you're talking to? Amanda, of course."

"Exactly."

He nodded, finally coming around to acknowledge her point. "You're right, we'll figure it out. But either way, you really shouldn't make promises like what you just said back there. Not when you don't know if you can keep them."

Kensi understood that he was just trying to help, but she really didn't appreciate her husband's running commentary in regards to her way of handling the case.

"I've done this before, Deeks. I know what I'm doing."

"Yes, maybe, but not as much as I have. I was at the LAPD for a long time before I came to NCIS, and I've worked tons of cases just like this one- cases that don't always turn out the way we hoped they would."

Kensi exhaled, rolling her neck in exasperation. "Fine, fine. I'll tone it down."

Deeks showed her half a smile and began walking away, back towards the couch. He didn't get far though, as Kensi reached one hand out to snatch up the edge of her partner's tee shirt, holding him back.

"You okay there?"

Her eyes were wide as she stared at the ground, slowly moving her face up to meet Deeks' gaze.

"LAPD?"

Kensi was being rather vague, and Deeks was having trouble catching on.

"Yeah... wait, what are you getting at?"

She rolled her eyes, annoyed that he wasn't able to read her mind.

"_LAPD. _It is most always the LAPD that gets kidnapping cases, right?"

Deeks' forehead was scrunched up in confusion. "Yeah… so?"

"On the phone, the kidnappers said '_no agents,_' not '_no cops._'"

She took one step towards her partner, almost smiling at the fact that they actually had some sort of a lead.

"Now tell me, how would they know that the feds have this case and that it wasn't sent to the police?"

Deeks raised his eyebrows, mouth ajar as he responded. "They wouldn't. Not if they weren't listening in."

Kensi nodded, hyper as she shifted around where she stood, looking rather paranoid. Her eyes danced frantically around the room, checking each entry and exit point as she went.

"They must be watching us, Deeks," she whispered, lowering her tone even more, until her words were barely audible.

Deeks didn't know what to believe exactly. "But _how? _This place has been swarming with cops ever since Paul and Renee came home yesterday."

Kensi's face went slack as she came to a stunning realization, every ounce of color draining from her face.

"Deeks- someone could've come over when the Bennings were out-"

"And then never left," Deeks muttered, pulling out his phone as he completed her sentence. "I'm calling Eric."

She folded her arms over her stomach, nervous and trying to internalize the sentiment. "Do you have a plan?"

He clenched his jaw and pressed the phone up to his ear. "For starters, a safehouse certainly seems like our best bet."

Kensi nodded, pointing one hand over towards the Bennings who were still just sitting on the couch, completely unaware of the possibility of looming danger.

"Talk to Eric and stay down here with them."

Kensi worked as she spoke, pulling out and loading her handgun in a flash. Deeks was stunned at the action: she wasn't even supposed to be carrying a weapon.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

It seemed pretty obvious to Kensi. "I'm going to clear the house."

"Not by yourself." Deeks' sentence was a declaration, not a question. "You aren't supposed to be doing any field work."

She rolled her eyes. "Someone has to stay here with them, and we're running out of time. I can take care of myself."

"Are you not recalling what happened the last time one of us cleared a house alone?"

_'Oh right,' _Kensi thought. '_You got shot.'_

"It's fine. Don't worry about it, I'll be right back."

Deeks cocked his head to one side, uncertain. Eric quickly answered his phone call though, giving Kensi the perfect chance to sneak away- mouthing _stay with them _as she went.

Sucking in an unsteady deep breath Deeks just rolled his eyes, nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot. He didn't want to leave Kensi to her own devices, but she really wasn't giving him much of a choice in the matter.

Kensi maneuvered out of his sight, weapon drawn as she walked into the kitchen, which looked to be totally clear. She still opened up every door, checking any space where someone might possibly be able to remain inconspicuously hidden.

She easily made her way up the staircase, coming to a halt at the top. Peering her head around, Kensi made certain her surroundings were clear before she turned left and peeked her head into each room. First came Amanda's bedroom, which had already been ransacked by Deeks and Paul. Next came the guest bedroom- nothing.

Finally she reached the end of the hall, which held Renee and Paul's bedroom. The bed was made properly, and nothing seemed out of place.

_'Maybe we were wrong,' _she thought, sticking her gun back into its holster. '_Maybe they aren't here.'_

Much to her chagrin, those thoughts were pushed aside in just a matter of seconds.

Kensi felt an unexpected pain in her jaw as a hand was placed firmly and aggressively over her mouth. Her heart rate spiked even more as she caught the sight of a pistol in the man's other hand. She hadn't been expecting company, not in the slightest. Kensi had absolutely no clue where he'd appeared from, but she knew it was highly necessary to win the fight: multiple lives were counting on it.

She may have looked pregnant and as a result rather harmless, but the man was clearly in for a bigger fight than he'd anticipated. Kensi shoved one of her elbows fiercely into his side, putting every bit of strength she had into that one fluid movement.

His hand's grip over her mouth was loosened as he took in the severe force of the blow, giving Kensi the chance to strike him again. The second elbow-to-the-side he received was even more forceful than the first, and it instantly caused him to buckle forward, practically wheezing as he expelled what sounded like the last bit of choked air from his internal organs- it was all they could give out. In a fleeting attempt to get the upper hand, Kensi's opponent pulled one of his arms up around her neck, trying his best to put her in a choke hold.

With both hands tightly grasping his forearm, Kensi broke free while still trying to pry the pistol from his fingers. It was pointed down towards the ground, but Kensi saw the opportunity to disarm him and ran with it.

Only did she make the slightest bit of progress before one of her fingers slipped and graced the trigger, causing a shockingly loud bang to ring throughout the house. The noise stunned her only momentarily, and Kensi used it to her advantage. She smacked the gun out of his hand in one final blow, letting it fall to the ground with a loud thud.

Her next move was a frail punch, one that was almost sluggish in its delivery. She was running on empty and as her breathing became increasingly shallow, Kensi found the usually simple task trying. Her weakness wasn't much of a problem though, as the man clearly wasn't trained for the task he had been given- it only took one more move for Kensi to practically finish him off altogether.

She spun around and grabbed _him_ in a choke hold, tightly holding on for ten seconds or so until he dropped from her arms and hit the floor, unconscious.

Kensi just stood over his unmoving figure, breathlessly resting both hands on her knees. She could hardly force air out of her lungs, partially because she was winded from the struggle and partially because she had been, for probably the first time in her life- _legitimately terrified._

"Kens? Kensi!"

Deeks' voice was calling her name from somewhere in the distance, but she just couldn't force herself to turn around. She was _paralyzed_ by what had just occurred. Kensi could hear his footsteps fast approaching though, and tried her best to come back into reality.

"Kensi!" Deeks yelled once more, his tone becoming increasingly panicked with each passing step.

"I'm good," she said, just to put his mind at ease- despite the fact that she was still out of breath and unable to turn around.

Deeks didn't believe her- he had to evaluate the scenario for himself. He jogged over to stand at his wife's side, dropping his weapon back into its holster so he could put one hand on Kensi's shoulder and the other on her cheek.

His eyes were laced with a strong mixture of fear and horror, and the expression didn't even begin to disappear when he saw that she truly was fine.

For a long minute back there, Deeks had thought that he'd lost her. And it was all because of his own inability to keep his wife on a leash. She was a flight risk, and when Kensi was on a mission it was practically impossible to contain her.

"I heard the gunshot, and I thought… I thought you'd been shot…"

Kensi tearfully exhaled, still shaken up from her little brush with death. Getting into a battle like that was terrifying every time, as there was always some sort of peril involved. But by that point in time, her life held far more meaning then it ever had before, and if something were to happen to Kensi the repercussions would be _extensive._

"Nobody got shot, Deeks," she said, glancing to the bullet that was now deeply embedded in the carpet. "We're good."

He chuckled, readily prepared to defuse the tense situation with humor.

"I'm not sure _he's_ good," Deeks said, pointing to the man who was lying on the floor, completely unconscious.

"Yeah, true. Well… _I'm_ good, we both are," she added, gesturing down to her stomach before looking back at her opponent on the ground. "I think he got the brunt of it."

"It definitely seems like it... but are ya sure?" Deeks asked, one eyebrow raised.

Kensi wasn't even supposed to be doing field work in the first place- she was six months pregnant, which basically always meant being tied down to a desk. She wondered how Hetty might react- upset, concerned, _angry. _Most likely it would be the latter, as she had a strong inkling that their fearless leader wouldn't appreciate Kensi so blatantly breaking protocol.

"I'm fine. Honestly," Kensi said, patting her husband on the shoulder and taking two short steps back, kneeling down over their suspect. She just wanted to shake it off and _move on._

"We need to get him out of here and down to the boatshed."

Deeks turned his head to the side and grimaced, folding his arms across his chest.

"Do you really think that it's a good idea to let Sam and Callen at him after he _attacked_ you?"

Kensi snorted. He was right, the guys wouldn't hesitate to rip him apart. Going after their pregnant baby sister was a _bad_ plan.

"I think it's a great idea. Let the piece of trash get what he deserves, and we'll see what they can get out of him."

Deeks pulled a set of handcuffs out of his back pocket, making certain that the man wouldn't be able to get loose if he happened to awaken from his rather _unpleasant slumber._

"Can't argue with that."


	43. Running Point

**SO sorry for the lack of updates recently, I promise that I'm going to try posting chapters much more regularly now! Please enjoy, and leave a review as always! :)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

_"We need to get him out of here and down to the boatshed."_

_Deeks turned his head to the side and grimaced, folding his arms across his chest. "Do you really think it's a good idea to let Sam and Callen at him after he attacked you?"_

_Kensi snorted. He was right, the guys wouldn't hesitate to rip him apart. Going after their pregnant baby sister was a bad plan._

_"I think it's a great idea. Let the piece of trash get what he deserves, and we'll see what they can get out of him."_

_Deeks pulled a set of handcuffs out of his back pocket, making certain that the man wouldn't be able to get loose if he happened to awaken from his rather unpleasant slumber._

_"Can't argue with that."_

Deeks stood up, resting his hands on his hips as he just stared down at the man lying on the floor before him. He looked eerily familiar.

Kensi couldn't tell what he was thinking, but judging by the look on his face she knew that something was _definitely_ going on in that mind of his.

She jetted her neck out, eyebrows raised. "Partner? What are ya thinking?"

Deeks just extended one arm out in front of himself, pointer finger aimed at the face of their suspect.

"Recognize him?"

Kensi furrowed her brows as she took a second look, needing a good ten seconds or so to really understand what Deeks was hinting at.

"Is that the driver Nell showed us a picture of back at OSP?"

"Sure looks like it."

For the first time in quite awhile Kensi smiled- a real, genuine smile. They actually had a lead, and she couldn't have been more thrilled.

She began making her way out of the bedroom, stepping gingerly over the suspect, who was still totally knocked out.

"Where are you going?"

"Downstairs. Didn't you call for backup?"

"Yeah. But we can't just _leave_ him here."

Kensi paused, turning around and showing off a rather smug smile. "I think he's gonna be out for awhile, Deeks. Let's go."

She left without another word. Deeks glanced down from the man lying on the floor, then up to stare at Kensi's back as she stalked out of the room. His pregnant wife, who was nearing her third trimester, had just beaten up a man twice her size.

"Good god," Deeks whispered to himself, chuckling and shaking his head before following his wife out of the room. "Who the hell did I marry?"

* * *

Callen and Sam came by briefly to pick up Kensi's attacker, who was just barely beginning to regain consciousness as they loaded him into the backseat of the challenger. Backup agents dropped by, picking up Renee and Paul to get them to a safe house. A wire transfer could happen from anywhere, and they needed their location to be a safe one, a place without any chance for ease dropping by unwanted guests.

Kensi and Deeks watched from the front porch steps as both cars drove away. The sun was starting to set behind the clouds, and Kensi knew that they were running out of time.

"Why was he there?" She asked once both the cars completely disappeared from her line of sight. "It all seems so strange to me."

Deeks shrugged, trying to formulate an educated guess. "I don't know… maybe they just wanted to get the upper hand or something? Thought that listening in might help?"

Kensi wasn't exactly satisfied by his answer. "It still doesn't feel right… honestly though, _none_ of this feels right. We just need to find her before the kidnappers figure out that we have one of their guys in custody."

Deeks nodded, expression stoic. "How long do you think we have?"

Kensi squinted her eyes, thinking. "Not sure. After the sun goes down, everything gets more tedious. We'll just have to see."

"No waiting?" He asked, wondering why she'd refrained from adding the full saying, instead just using the second part.

Kensi shook her head and turned, eyes beating into his. "No waiting, Deeks. Just _working."_

* * *

Her plan of action hadn't exactly planned out as she'd intended it to. There was practically nothing they could do from the house without further word from Sam or Callen, so Kensi and Deeks just wandered around for an hour or so, mindlessly taking in their surroundings.

"I hate this," Kensi muttered as she continued walking around the great room, sneaking quick peeks out the window as she went.

Deeks pressed his hands together, fiddling with his wedding band. He had a strange tendency of doing it when he was thinking about something, _anything _really.

"Hate what?"

She shook her head. "Just… _this. _Waiting while everyone else works around you. I feel useless. It's just stupid."

Deeks chuckled and flashed a crooked smile. "Don't even think about it, Kens. You're pregnant, which means you're not supposed to do anything dangerous. And you almost got shot earlier, so I think that's enough field work for one day."

Kensi rolled her eyes, pretending not to see the humor in his statements. "Still. We could be doing _something."_

"Do you want to work up in OPS again?"

She made a half hearted face of disgust. "No thanks. Too many computer screens. I would much rather be out here."

He took two steps closer. "Even with all of the waiting?"

She paused, but only for a moment. "Yes, Deeks. Even with all of the waiting."

"Why?"

"I didn't have a partner back there. I like having a partner."

Her answer was simple enough.

Deeks smiled toothlessly. "Good to hear."

Kensi cleared her throat and spun around, walking towards one of the large bay windows.

"Nell and Eric… they just don't get my sense of humor."

"I'm pretty sure that_ I'm _the only one who does," Deeks muttered, scratching the back of his head.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Kensi raised her eyebrows, laughing quietly to herself. "I love Nell and Eric, but neither of them are my partner, that's all."

"You mean they aren't _me_."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Yes. I just phrased it differently."

"It's the exact same thing."

He shook his head, defiant. "Nope. My way is much better. More concise and to the point. Or you could also just admit that you _missed me, _I don't see the harm in that either."

"Feeding your ego is something I try and _avoid_ doing, Deeks."

"Oh, so you did miss me when you were up in OPS."

"Not exactly. I still came home to you every single night. And it was great- we actually talked about what we did at work, like normal couples do."

Deeks grinned. "Wow. You are actually complementing me, I don't know how to take it. Are you sure you're the same girl who, _just_ _a few years ago_, said that marrying me sounded so much more like a punishment than a reward?"

"Yes. But things change."

He nodded, unable to disagree. "They really do."

She placed her hands on her hips, happy for the distraction away from their rather tumultuous case. Kensi loved nothing more than the banter that she shared with her partner.

"Just a few years ago I couldn't_ stand_ you."

"That's not true."

"Oh really?"

He smiled, ever so smug in his reply. "Uh-huh. Absolutely."

"Where did you hear that?"

"Callen told me, remember? You were _smitten_."

"If that's what you want to think, I'm fine with it. But-"

"I'm wrong?"

"Yes. You're wrong. You were into me _way _before I was into you."

Deeks sunk into the couch, crossing one leg over the other and resting both of his arms out over the couch cushions. He looked_ ridiculously_ handsome,but Kensi tried desperately to keep those thoughts at bay.

"That's not true. But if you're asking whether or not I thought you were good looking, then sure. I did." He looked to the ceiling, eyes narrowed in thought. "Black tank top, jeans, bag that goes across the shoulder, hair down- wavy."

Kensi chuckled, half of her face pulled up into a smile. "Right."

Deeks waited for her to add something more, but she was quiet.

"Don't even pretend like you don't remember what I was wearing. I know you do."

She took two slow steps towards Deeks, fidgeting with a hangnail. "Maybe… but it doesn't mean I was checking you out."

"Yes it does."

"No, it doesn't. I'm just a good observer- what's your excuse?"

He shrugged. Deeks wasn't going to deny himself the simple pleasure of saying what was on his mind.

"I thought you were hot. So I was checking you out."

Kensi couldn't help but laugh at his bluntness. "Well… that clears things up."

"Not exactly. You're still lying."

Kensi opened up her mouth to protest, but the ringer on her cell phone went off before she could utter a single word.

Deeks smiled, folding his arms across his chest. "You should probably answer that."

She stuck her tongue out at her husband as she dug around in her pockets, trying to locate her phone. "We aren't done with this conversation yet."

"I would expect nothing less."

Kensi pressed 'accept call' on the screen, immediately taking a seat across from her partner and placing it on speaker, so they could both hear.

"Sam? What do you have for us?"

"Well… it's just as expected, and Deeks was right. The guy you fought was Shaun Croyov- the driver of the getaway car. After a bit of a… _talk _in the boat shed with G and I, he told us that he broke in to see what the feds already knew. His boss wanted him to figure out if we were actually gonna give up the money."

Deeks leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knee caps. "Okay- so who's his boss?"

Sam cleared his throat, clearly aggravated. "He won't say. But we've got a location for the girl."

Kensi's expression changed in an instant from one of blind hopefulness to sheer joy.

"Where?"

"Storage unit. Callen is getting the address now, we'll send it to your phones. Backup will meet you there." Sam paused briefly. "But Kensi- you have to observe. You can't actually go in."

Though only Deeks could see her, Kensi still shrugged. "Why?"

Both men moaned in unison.

"Seriously, Kens? It's been like, what, _an hour _since you almost got killed? I think that's enough action for one day."

"Your husbands right. Look, I've gotta go- but no field work, okay?"

She rolled her eyes, unsuccessfully trying not to sound annoyed. "Fine."

In only a matter of seconds Kensi stuck the phone into her pocket, grabbed her bag from the couch and began walking towards the front door.

"...Just kidding!"

Deeks moaned once more as he jogged to catch up with her.

"You're messing with me, right?"

"Of course. I'm not a moron, Deeks-"

"You're just stubborn."

"That is _not _what I was going to say."

"No, but it's what I'm saying now."

Kensi walked around to the passenger seat, hopping inside and pulling her door closed.

"Okay then. If that's really what you believe, than I'll just have to prove you wrong. Have fun running point on this one."

Deeks smiled, starting the engine.

"I will."


	44. Lost and Found

**A/N: Look at this! Slightly-more regular updates! Thank you all ****_so _****much for your continued support- I always appreciate the reviews I receive, they really are what motivate me to keep writing. I would love if you left one below, (even if it's short) just to let me know that you're still here, and that you still want me to continue this story!**

**Thank you! =)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Wait in the car, Kens," Deeks said firmly as he unbuckled his seatbelt, reaching into the backseat so he could grab his bulletproof vest.

"I will, I will. It's still boring though."

Kensi was acting like a defiant two year old, slumped over in her seat as she picked at the ends of her hair.

"Then listen to the radio! You're gonna be just fine, Kens. Don't worry."

"Are you being _condescending_?"

Deeks laughed quietly, pulling the vest over his head. "No."

"It felt like it."

"I wouldn't dare."

"Good," she stated simply, watching her husband warily as he tightly fastened the velcro straps across his chest. "But just so you know- if you get yourself shot again I'll break both your legs. Got it?"

"Your logic is _seriously _flawed, I hope you know that."

"Deeeeeeeeks..." She whined, hitting her head back against the chair. "Answer my question."

He smiled wide, dropping a kiss to her forehead before pushing the door open.

"Got it."

For the most part, Kensi hid her worries like a pro. But in all honestly, the last thing she wanted was for Deeks to get hurt again. It terrified her more than most anything else in the world, and not being there to watch his back felt wrong on _so_ many levels.

They were partners- plus so much more. The added dynamic made working together much more precarious, and was also successful in making Kensi ridiculously nervous on a daily basis. But being there to keep an eye on him usually forced her stess to subside, at least somewhat.

At the moment though, Kensi was a ball of nerves. A massively pregnant, overly emotional, violent and deadly _ball of nerves. _

"He's gonna be fine, Kens."

She jumped in her seat, heart racing a mile-a-minute. Kensi had nearly forgotten entirely about the earpiece she was wearing, which was connected to the team back at OSP. She hadn't said a word to herself since Deeks' departure, but Kensi's silence and heavy breathing had been a good enough indicator that something wasn't quite right.

"I know Eric. I'm good. But can you connect Deeks' earpiece to mine?"

There was a pause. He didn't want to give Kensi any sort of an excuse to step one foot out of that car- Hetty would have his head on a stake if he let her go.

"I don't know-"

"Just do it, Eric," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'll stay in the goddamn car, kay?"

She could very faintly hear Nell whisper "Do it," in the background. Kensi smiled- she loved that her friend was taking her side, even against her boyfriend. It was all so new to her- even the mere thought that they were together was able to make her grin like an idiot.

"Okay, Kens. It's connected."

Deeks' heavy breathing filled her ears. Kensi wouldn't miss the opportunity to mock him, it wouldn't be fair to herself. Or to him. Or to Eric, or to Nell. They would all enjoy it.

"Geez. You sound_ really_ out of shape there, pal."

He chuckled softly, whispering his words. "Oh, hello there Fern. How's life without me so far?"

"I'm surviving. You left, like, what- two minutes ago?"

"And it's been a hellish two minutes, I'm sure."

Kensi laughed, massaging her temple. "It doesn't sound like you're being very productive. Aren't you supposed to be working or something? "

"Not quite yet. I'm just clearing the perimeter while I wait for the SWAT agents to gear up."

"_Alone?!" _She asked, her tone switching to pure hysteria in a matter of milliseconds.

"No Kens, not alone. There's like, five other guys doing the same thing as me. And they're all giving me super-duper weird looks. Especially Bob- yup, he's looking right at me. Gimme a minute."

Deeks cleared his throat, raising his voice to a normal level. "It's my wife. Don't let me get shot, okay? She said that she'd break both my legs, and I believe her."

_God, _she loved him. Deeks was absolutely precious, and the strong sense of humor that pracitcally guided him through life was just an added bonus.

She constantly wanted to kiss him, yet also wanted to strangle him. Those two things didn't typically go hand in hand, but with Marty Deeks it just _worked_.

Kensi rarely (if ever) reached a point where the annoying remarks he made pushed her over the edge. It was fairly impossible to do, as after most every comment he would just give her the goofiest smile, telling her a million things at once.

_I'm sorry if I'm annoying you babe. I love you. You look soooo pretty. Did I tell you that your hair looks great today? Because your hair really looks great toady_. _Thank you for carrying my child. I'm sorry that she kicks so much. She'll make a great assassin one day. You're beautiful. Sorry again._

That was about it. _And all in one look._

"Tell Bob I'll break his legs too," she added, waiting for a reaction from Nell or Eric. She could make out what sounded like a couple of quiet laughs coming from the other end, ones that clearly weren't belonging to her husband. "If you get hurt, that is."

His reply came almost instantly. "Oh- for sure. I'll do that. Hey Bob? My wife says she'll break your legs too, just a heads up."

"I didn't mean that _literally, _Deeks."

"Oh, don't worry about it. Bob is great- aren't you Bob? Yeah, Bob agrees. He's pretty great."

Kensi grabbed a donut out of the takeout bag that was sitting beside her, taking a massive bite that she had to swallow down rather quickly in order to respond.

"Don't go getting a new partner in my absence."

"Oh, Fern- I wouldn't dare. Hold on just a minute- what was that Bob? No, my wife's name is not actually Fern. It's a long story, of which I'm going to spare you the details."

Eric hadn't chimed in once yet, but after that little exchange he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

"You know Deeks, I myself have never heard the story of_ Fern_."

"Oh! Hey Eric! I didn't realize you were there too. How's Nell?"

"Deeeeeeeks," Kensi growled, warningly. She wasn't sure what implications, if any, he was making by asking that question, but regardless it didn't seem work appropriate. Kensi knew that Deeks was just passing the time while he waited around for SWAT, but it didn't feel right.

Mainly that was because she was sitting in the car, eating a donut while Deeks worked without her. Just the sound of that sentence playing back in her head was worthy of a heavy sigh, but she stifled it. Kensi was on a three way call with two men who cared great amounts about her well being, and she didn't want all the typical pregnancy questions to begin again.

_Are you feeling okay? Do you want pickles and ice cream? Can I get you a glass of water? You look a little pale today. Did your water just break? Yes, I know that you're only six months along. Yes, I am still asking regardless. _

It never ended.

"Fern? I think I have to work now," Deeks mumbled, almost incoherently. "Okay, yup- I _definitely _have to work now."

"I'll be quiet."

"Kay. Love you."

Kensi swallowed hard upon hearing him murmur those last two words. If she hadn't been listening for it, than she most likely would've missed it. But, if time permitted, Deeks always told Kensi that he loved her before entering a dangerous situation. The old Kensi Blye might have found it to be sappy, but this new woman, married and family oriented, didn't mind at all.

She thought it was perfect, actually.

"Love you too."

Eric was dead silent on his end of the line, not so much as a sigh or single breath. She wasn't going to ask him why he wasn't cracking a joke- Kensi wasn't supposed to speak. It was surprisingly distracting, having someone talking in your ear as you tried to concentrate. Not too _surprising, _really. Just annoying as hell.

Deeks was on a mission now- he had a job to do. And there was no way Kensi was going to be the person who stopped him from doing it. She fiercely desired to get Amanda back home to her mom and dad, safe and sound.

In her largely pregnant state there really wasn't much Kensi could do to assist in the operation, other than provide some support and maybe be a friend to Amanda's parents. But right then, Kensi wasn't doing either of those things.

She felt like a rookie cop- waiting and eating donuts while people worked their asses off around her. It wasn't pleasant.

But as much as she disliked it, Kensi just had to deal with it. She was pregnant, and as a result couldn't do field work. Those were the facts. '_Get over it,' _she told her psyche, as if she'd miraculously be fine with the situation.

It had taken awhile, but Kensi was coming around. Only two and a half more months before baby Deeks/Blye arrived, and she was more than ready. There was lots of work to do in the interim though, work that would suffice perfectly for filling the time gap. The baby's room needed to be furnished, as well as practically their entire house.

Deeks' place was small- quite the contrary to their new abode. His furniture would fill two rooms, maybe three, max. She hoped that he'd be willing to donate some of his household items though, as Kensi wasn't exactly a huge fan of the glowing neon arrow that sat out in his, or _their_ living room.

New beginnings called for new stuff. It was a tradition that most people went along with, and one that Kensi would be happy to keep.

Her mind stopped rambling as she swallowed a large bite of her doughnut- too large. Powdered sugar got stuck in her throat and Kensi threw one hand up to her ear, completely switching off her earpiece before she began choking in Deeks' ear.

He'd never let her hear the end of that. _Never._

Kensi took a long swig of water, then another, then one more, until the bottle ran dry. Once she was sure that there would be no more coughing spurts, Kensi turned her earpiece back on. Heavy breathing was all she heard, then a faint countdown.

Sitting up tall in her chair she listened intently, her handgun resting against the side of her thigh. Kensi wasn't planning on leaving the car, but she wanted to be prepared just in case it became necessary for her to spring into action.

She'd been expecting gunfire, of course. It was a hot extraction- they needed to be in and out _fast. _But that didn't prevent her heart rate from reaching a nearly supersonic rate once the shots rang out, the sound piercing her ears.

One, two, three, four... they just kept coming. She didn't hear any screaming or loud yelling coming from Deeks though, just some more breathing.

And then, only seconds later- Kensi heard what she had been so desperately hoping for.

A girl's voice.

She sounded frightened, and rightfully so.

"Hey, hey, hey," Deeks began, softly whispering to Amanda. The way he spoke to her was enough for Kensi to practically burst into tears herself.

"Shhh, shhh. You're okay. I've got you. Don't worry."

The cries became louder to Kensi's ears as Deeks pressed the young girl's face against his chest, smoothing out her hair.

"We've got her, Kens."

His words were comforting to her, despite already knowing the outcome.

"Is she hurt?"

Deeks exhaled, taking a moment to examine the girl he held tightly in his arms. "A few bruises here and there. She's gonna be just fine."

Kensi nodded, but realized after a short while that he couldn't actually _see_ her face.

"Copy that."

There was a brief pause, the silence filled by just a few more whimpers from Amanda as Deeks muttered reassuring little phrases into her ear.

"You're really brave, you know that? So brave."

Her response was quiet, barely even choked out through broken sobs. "Y-yeah."

"Good. My name is Marty, by the way. You're Amanda, right?"

"Uh-huh."

Kensi heart nearly broke in two as she listened in on their little exchange. Her husband was _damn _good with kids, far better than Kensi ever believed she would be.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" He asked, a strained smile apparent in his voice.

"Yes, please."

Even in the face of death, this girl was finding a way to use her manners. Kensi was shocked, and knew that one day in the future she'd just _have_ to grab coffee with Renee. Compliment her parenting skills.

"I'm gonna pick you up now, okay? One, two, _three! _Wow, you're a big girl! And tall too! How old are you, Amanda?"

Kensi's eyes were watery as she listened, wearing a beaming smile.

"I'm... um... five. Almost six."

"Wow! You're practically an adult. That's crazy."

She giggled, and Kensi couldn't help but do the same, absentmindedly reminding Deeks that she was still in his ear.

"Do you want to meet my wife? She's _so_ excited to meet you. Like super-duper excited."

Amanda's smile widened, and she sniffled back more tears. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. She's been looking forward to it _all _day."

"Wh-what's her name?"

"Kensi," Deeks stated, drawing out the _n_ sound.

"That's a pretty name."

"You're right. And she's a pretty woman, so it fits."

Okay, now Kensi's cheeks were _really _damp.

"Thank you, Deeks."

"Of course," he murmured, keeping his voice down so Amanda wouldn't think he was speaking to himself.

The little girl was rather insightful though, and picked up on it regardless. "Who are you talking to?"

Deeks patted his earpiece with one finger. "My wife. But you can talk to her in person- she's right over there."

Kensi hadn't realized how fast they were approaching, and quickly glanced back into the rearview mirror. Deeks was wearing a massive smile as he made his way towards their car, holding a beautiful little girl. Her hair was a mop of curly blond locks that cascaded down her back, her eyes deep brown. She could've been mistaken for being their daughter, easily.

Kensi pulled herself together, brushing crumbs off her lap and using one shirt sleeve to dry her cheeks before stepping out of the car.

The temperature was cold and brisk, the icy air nipping at her exposed fingers. Kensi didn't care though- she saw that Amanda was still clad in her soccer uniform- just shorts and a tee shirt. Deeks didn't have anything to wrap her up in, so as Kensi approached she slipped off her jacket.

"Hi there," she said quietly, draping the coat around Amanda's shoulders. "I'm Kensi."

"Wow. Marty's right." Amanda stated simply, smiling and pointing one finger at Deeks. She was close enough to him that her finger actually poked the skin on his cheek, causing Deeks to chuckle as he moved his head back an inch, just to avoid being hit. "You are pretty."

Kensi couldn't help but grin at her partner as he stared back at her, wearing a goofy smile. "Thank you, Amanda."

She cleared her throat, trying not to tear up again. "Do you want to see your mom and dad?"

The little girl nodded excitedly, a smile creeping onto her face again.

Kensi's eyes caught on Deeks' as she turned, walking back towards the car.

"You good, babe?" He asked breathily, wrapping his one free arm around her waist.

Suddenly, Kensi wasn't cold anymore. His warmth was enough for her.

"I'm good. Love you," she added, dropping her head down onto Deeks' shoulder.

He caught her easily, pulling her in close.

"I love you too."


	45. Solidified

**The response to chapter forty-four was ****_amazing! _****You're a fantastic group of people, and it's honestly a pleasure to write for you.**

**With that said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I myself quite loved writing it:) I'm not sure how many chapters we have left, but there is still a descent amount left for me to write. (Christmas chapter, anyone?)**

**If you're feeling awesome, drop a review for this chapter below! I really enjoy ****reading them. :)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

Returning Amanda to her parents was easy. She wasn't hurt, they were ecstatic-_ all as expected._

Getting Kensi to leave on her own accord was the tricky part.

She'd left when she was supposed to- but Deeks could just tell from the look in his wife's eyes that she really didn't want to. Amanda had clung to her for the entire extent of the car ride, refusing to sit in a seat alone. Kensi was an absolute pushover, and allowed the little girl to do as she pleased without protest.

Playing with Kensi's hair seemed like a fun way to fill the time, so that was exactly what she did. For nearly an hour Amanda thoroughly examined the each wave hidden in Kensi's deep brown locks, studying them with furrowed eyebrows.

_"You're pretty," _she kept saying, over and over again. It always managed to produce a smile and small laugh from Deeks up in the driver's seat, so Amanda just kept repeating herself until they finally reached the safe house. An ambulance was waiting to check her out, though it was already outwardly apparent that no major damage had been inflicted.

Kensi carried the little girl out of the car, handing her over to a teary eyed set of parents. After quite a few hugs and many words of gratitude later, Kensi and Deeks were back in the car, their sights set on OSP.

She was almost tearful, but her eyes were bright and clear- quite possibly for the first time all day. It was a strong contrast in emotions, and Deeks wasn't entirely sure how he was supposed to respond.

"So... it looks like we got our happy ending, after all."

Kensi jumped once he finally spoke up- she'd been staring off into space, mindlessly picking at the ends of her hair- just as Amanda had.

"Yeah, we did." She turned to look out the window, eyes glazing over. "I can't wait for that."

"For what? _A happy ending?" _He almost looked disappointed at the possibility of what she was referring to. "I kinda thought we already had ours."

Kensi grinned at his sheepishness. They _had _gotten their happy ending- she wasn't trying to imply an opposing theory.

"No, Deeks. Not that." She chuckled, wiping at her eyes with the corner of her sleeve.

"I can't wait for _this-" _Kensi pointed to her midsection._"-_A curious, brave, beautiful little girl."

His face turned up in a smile, body relaxing back against the seat. "I can hardly wait either. But she'll be here soon enough."

Kensi sighed. "She will, you're right."

_She. _That was the only name they had for their daughter thus far, and Kensi thought it was about time for something more substantial to take it's place.

"Any name ideas?" Kensi asked, sniffling away any leftover tears. They were all but dried up by that point in time. "I feel like we should figure it out before she gets here. It might take some of the pressure off."

"Well... I already have a few names up my sleeve."

Kensi snorted. "Of course you do. I shouldn't have expected anything less."

"You ready?"

"I was born ready. Shoot."

He cleared his throat dramatically before beginning. "Well... there's always Julia. We could name her after your mother."

Kensi crinkled her nose. "Too confusing. Any other ideas?"

"Kensi the second?"

"That's a hell of a lot worse than the first one. Something _not _confusing, Deeks. Preferably a name that doesn't already belong to a family member."

"Fern?"

"I'm gonna slap you."

"Don't do that. Lemme think... there's Katherine, Chloe, Katie, Sophie, Olivia, McKayla, Mia-"_  
_

"Olivia." Kensi cut him off, her expression thoughtful. "I like that one. _Olivia __Deeks. _It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Deeks lifted one hand up, rubbing his scruff as a smile slowly enveloped his features.

"I agree. It sounds pretty good."

"Olivia Deeks." Kensi stared down at her midsection, resting one hand over it. "You got a middle name for me?"

He narrowed his eyes, thinking. "Not at the moment. We can pick that out later though. A first name is enough for now."

Kensi grinned, biting her bottom lip. "So... Olivia?"

Deeks nodded once, wearing an unbreakable grin.

"Olivia."

* * *

"Deeks- you are the absolute _worst _at packing."

He rolled his eyes, keeping both hands moving as he wrapped a single ceramic plate securely in bubble wrap.

"I think that award goes to _you, _my dear."

Kensi snorted with laughter, rolling her eyes melodramatically as she pulled a stack of dishes out of the kitchen cabinets. "Not true."

"If I had you doing the packing, _everything_ would be broken."

"I do a fine job," she said, handing Deeks the plates as he remained seated on the hardwood floor, legs crossed in front of him. "It's your OCD that's making this take forever."

He laughed, pausing before he continued wrapping. "Last week, when we ran out of bubble wrap, you tried to stuff a box with toilet paper, Kens. _Toilet paper. _I'm gonna let that one resinate with you for a little bit."

She raised a finger, warningly. "Shut it."

Deeks put both hands up in the air, his palms facing her. "I surrender."

Kensi nodded, her nose angled up towards the ceiling. "Good. And I'll refrain from packing with toilet paper in the future."

"Sounds like a plan, Ferny." Deeks jumped up, standing to his full height. "And you _probably _should let me get stuff down from the top shelf."

She knitted her brows together, shooting him an incredulously look. "Why is that?"

He shrugged, glancing from his wife to the cabinets and then back again. "I don't know... maybe because you're almost seven months pregnant?"

"Ha! You say that like I'm a tank."

The slight moment of hesitation on Deeks' face caused Kensi to hit his arm without a second thought.

"See where that gets you? I can still pack quite a punch despite being _seven months pregnant_." Kensi pulled his navy sweater up so that it wouldn't fall off his shoulders, smiling toothlessly with her eyes narrowed. "Now- _am I really a tank?"_

He jumped back, feigning fear. "No! You're not a tank babe, I _promissssssse!_"

Kensi was a tank, and she knew it. But she'd never admit it to him.

"Thank you," she replied, as sassy as she could be while still remaining cheerful.

Kensi spun around as if she was about to stroll out of the room, but Deeks was behind her in half a second, wrapping both arms tightly around her waist and propping his chin up on her shoulder- nearly pouting.

"Now where are _yooooooou_ going?"

She chuckled, turning her head just a hilt, so the side of her nose was almost touching his. "To grab another box from the garage."

"Don't."

His request was simple, yet still undeniably silly.

"You've gotten pretty clingy, Deeks."

Kensi could feel him shrug against her side. "Maybe. But I don't care."

He turned her around in his arms, keeping both of his hands held against the small of her back.

Kensi chuckled- she had no idea what was up with him on that particular day. It wasn't as if she_ minded _though.

His 'clinginess,' as she kept calling it, was pretty damn cute.

"Is that so?"

"Mhhhm," Deeks murmured, a smile creeping onto his face as he leaned in closer and closer, before finally pressing his lips to hers.

There was a moment where Kensi was too stunned to do anything, really. But soon enough she relaxed, dropping her tough stance as she wrapped both arms around the back of his neck.

"Geez. _Come. On_."

"Seriously?"

The voices of Callen and Sam were loud and teasingly annoyed as they wandered into the kitchen, each man holding a packed and sealed box.

Deeks didn't care to pull away, even with the guys there. Kensi was rather uncomfortable with the idea of her big brothers watching her make out with someone though- even if that 'someone' was her husband.

She took one step away from Deeks, pushing any lingering stray hairs off of her face as she moved.

"I guess I got a little carried away," Deeks offered, completely defenseless to his own actions.

"Maybe," Callen added- sarcastic as hell, eyes narrowed. He wasn't_ annoyed_ per say, just caught off guard. Putting on a cold exterior was G's defense mechanism, one that he used all too often when he was thrust into awkward situations.

Deeks may have been Kensi's husband, but Callen was her brother. So yeah, it would always be weird.

"You know... this is my house," Deeks said, crossing both arms firmly across his chest.

"_Our _house," Kensi added quietly.

He corrected himself rather easily. "Right. _Our _house."

Deeks didn't automatically refer to that small place as being their's- that was what he pictured their new house being. _Entirely theirs. _

He would've felt the exact same way had they moved into Kensi's apartment rather than his. It had been hers. They were going to start fresh- _a new beginning._

"Sorry Kens," Deeks muttered under his breath.

"Don't sweat it."

She wasn't worried about his phrasing- Kensi knew what he'd meant.

Her body was angled towards the guys, and she was happy to assist in the major amounts of sass Deeks was sending their way. Resting one arm on his shoulder, Kensi tried her very best to play it cool.

"Shaggy's right. You can't be annoyed by it, honestly."

Sam chuckled, shaking his head as he looked to over his partner, hoping Callen had something more to say, as he clearly didn't.

"Yeah- but we are helping you two pack up. Clearly our assistance is needed, as neither of you are getting hardly anything done at all."

"Ooooh- good point." Deeks considered using 'touche' as his quick reply, but it felt strange to use it with anyone who wasn't Kensi.

"What's goin' on?" Eric asked excitedly as he jogged into the room, Nell stuck to his side like a magnet.

Deeks smiled, pointing to Sam and Callen as he cocked his head to one side. "I kissed my wife. Apparently those two have a problem with it."

Eric's cheeks immediately flushed to a pink hue. He was just so _awkward _sometimes, like a five year old boy. Except he wasn't five- he was a grown ass man who blushed when someone brought up kissing, as if in his mind, girls still had cooties.

"You guys are morons. _All_ of you," Nell said, rolling her eyes at Eric's blank expression before turning her attention over to Kensi. "Do you wanna help Eric and I out in the garage? We can separate out the boxes- first floor and second floor."

She smirked, chuckling once more before nodding. "Sure. Deeks, hold down the fort. And stay out of trouble."

He stuck his hands in his pockets, grinning. "Will do."

They strolled out of the kitchen, Kensi shooting Deeks a quick wink over her shoulder before disappearing.

Callen watched the entire exchange go down with raised eyebrows, but waited to say anything until he heard the garage door close.

"So... I assume things are going well between you two?"

Deeks laughed, despite being greatly confused. "We're married, and she's pregnant. What's the other alternative?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, almost smug. "I just never expected it to last this long."

Deeks was slightly taken aback by the comment, but still played it cool as he leaned up against the kitchen counter.

"Ouch."

"Yeah, I think Shaggy is right. You're kinda being an ass," Sam added, grimacing at his partner's poor word choice.

Callen knew that if _Sam _of all people wasn't taking his side, it was time to reevaluate.

"Look- I didn't mean it like _that._ I'm glad that you two kids are still together."

By that point, Deeks was amused above all else. "That's good to know. Not gonna lie here, I'd find it alarming if you weren't."

G laughed- Deeks wasn't mad at him, so he made no further attempt to cover his tracks.

"I'll never get used to it, just so you know."

"Get used to what?"

He aimed his pointer finger at Deeks, then shot it in the direction of the garage. "You two. Being together."

"We've been married for about seven months now. It should seem pretty normal at this point."

"Maybe... But Kensi Marie Blye is _pregnant. _That's crazy."

"Deeks. Her last name is _Deeks _now."

"So your wife basically calls you by _her _last name?"

"Well... it's not like she's gonna start calling me 'Marty' anytime soon."

"Of course, that would be so weird," Callen replied, clearly feeling sarcastic. Sam was just standing by innocently, not making a peep as he watched everything unfold before him.

"Right," Deeks said finally, folding his arms. "And your point is...?"

"I dunno, I was just kinda wondering what you were going to do once you had the baby... she's still gonna work at OSP, right?"

Ah. There it was. Callen's reasoning behind his strange array of questions.

_Uncertainty._

Deeks ran one hand through his hair, shaking his head. "Dude- _of course_ she's coming back. Have you already forgotten about that child abduction case we worked a few weeks ago? Kens almost got _shot _because she insisted on clearing the house herself, rather than letting me do it. You can't keep her tied down for long, trust me. It doesn't work."

Callen exhaled, clearly relieved. "Good. I need my team, even if you two lovebirds wanna make a baby."

Deeks smiled- their team leader was messing with him, and though he wouldn't acknowledge it, Deeks definitely appreciated it.

"Kensi and I need our team too." The statement came out just the tiniest bit sappier than he intended for it to, so adding a hint of sarcasm at the end was called for. "...Because packing up a house can be a real pain in the ass. Especially if your wife is a hoarder."

Callen nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You're totally right. But it's even _more _challenging if you randomly start making out with your partner while you're supposed to be packing."

"Not just my partner. My wife, Callen. Kensi's my _wife."_

"Right. And I'll try my best to get used to it."

Kensi, Nell and Eric reentered just as Deeks nodded in reply. "Good."

"Good."

* * *

_**Little sidenote: The name Olivia was suggested many weeks ago by the lovely classof7teen! Thank you!**_


	46. Just Like You

**You guys are purely****_ amazing_****, like usual. Thank you for the continued support- I've decided to keep going with this story for ****_quite _****awhile... possibly even after the baby comes. That's my plan, at least- it could change, but we'll just have to wait and see. :)**

**Please review as always!**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"We don't have that many more people to shop for Deeks, I promise. I'm almost done."

He stood across from his wife in the center of the shopping mall- one of his least favorite places on earth. The building was a total and complete zoo, just crawling with hoards of people doing last minute shopping.

"You know that I'm about to fall over, right? You can't just hand me twenty shopping bags to carry and expect me to remain standing upright."

"Stop complaining. You're my husband, and this is what husbands do."

He snorted. "Yeah. I'm learning."

"What was that? Would you not have signed up if you'd known ahead of time?"

He shrugged, staring up to the ceiling as if deep in thought."I mean, if given a warning-"

Kensi punched him in the arm without a moment of hesitation. "How's that for a warning?"

Deeks winced and buckled over slightly, desperately hoping that nobody was watching as he got beat up by his pregnant wife. That would not bode well for his 'street cred.'

"Can we please have, like, a _safe word_ for when you start hitting me too much? I think it's about time. Like bulgogi, or Fern-"

She gently grabbed his shoulder, straightening Deeks up so he would stand at his full height.

"You know what? I'll refrain from hitting you if you'll lighten up a bit. Just _try_ to smile."

"I don't think I can smile if you keep punching me."

"Just_ try._"

Deeks smiled a toothy grin, one that was overly enthusiastic and showed both rows of his pearly white teeth.

"Good job."

"Ha, thanks. But just so you know, I think you were right all along. We _are _going to be on an episode of 'Snapped' one day, and it looks like I'll be the victim."

"Now, now, Deeks. When I say that I want to kill you, I only mean it metaphorically."

"Really? How about when you say that you're gonna break both my legs if I get myself shot?"

She cocked her head to one side, contemplating his question. "Metaphoric. Sorta."

"Wow. Now _that, _right there, is utterly terrifying."

"I'm a federal agent, it's what you get."

"No, you're an art curator."

Deeks smiled, grinning like a moron as he referenced her undercover job title.

Kensi just punched him in the arm again, but there was much less force behind it the second time around.

Still, he acted like it hurt just the same. _"Bulgogi, bulgogi, bulgoooooo-"_

She took a step back at the use of their new safe word. "Fine. I'll go easy on you. _This time._"

Deeks winced, remaining buckled over at the waist. "Much appreciated, Ferny."

Kensi avoided acknowledging the 'Ferny' comment, and tried her best to remain chipper.

"But it's _Christmas, _Deeks. Just let me be a federal agent, at least for the holidays."

He chuckled as she continued to whine. "Fine, fine. But you do know that it's not actually Christmas though, right? That means you can't use that excuse on me- at least not yet. Because you dragged me into this god awful store, and this place is a total and complete _nightmare, _in case you haven't noticed. It's that time right _before_ Christmas when nobody has gotten any shopping done, so they run to the mall at the last minute on a Saturday, buying everything they possibly can in a twenty minute stretch of time... and almost kill me in the process."

"Yeah," Kensi muttered, smiling and motioning her pointer finger between their two chests. "I think you just described exactly what we're doing."

Deeks ignored her, pointing over his shoulder instead. "I think that lady back there might've broken a bone or something. She was _really _aggressive. Sale prices, you know how it is."

She snorted, amused by his unhappy attitude. "What happened to you, partner? I feel like I'm married to Mr. Grinch himself."

Deeks grabbed Kensi's hand, pulling her along in an attempt to disprove her theory. "Oh, really?"

"Uh-huh. You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, _Mr. Deeeeeeks!_"

He shot her the most confused look he could possibly manage, his forehead a wrinkly mess. "What was that?"

Kensi rolled her eyes. "It's a line from the movie Deeks, in the-"

"Song at the beginning, I know. How do _you _know that?"

She slowed down her walk, bewildered. "I re-watch it every year on Christmas Eve. You?"

"Same."

Kensi shook her head, swallowing. "How did I not know that? _We're married."_

"This is our first Christmas... _together, _together. It just never came up, I guess."

She smiled, squeezing his hand just a little bit tighter in hers. "Huh."

Deeks returned the expression, chuckling as he pondered the root behind it. "What?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just funny. We're still learning new things about each other, and I'm about to pop."

"Very true," he said, glancing down to her midsection. "Well- let's get our shopping done fast. I see a movie marathon in our future."

Deeks definitely seemed eager to get going as he pulled Kensi along, picking up his pace.

"Wow! Someone's excited."

He flashed her a crooked smile, both tiers of perfectly white teeth exposed. "What? I don't want you to think I have the _tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile."_

Deeks looked incredibly proud of his ability to quote exact lines from their favorite Christmas movie.

Kensi just rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance. "Come on. Let's go."

* * *

"Holiday shopping, _done!"_ Deeks exclaimed as he walked through the front door of the house, following directly behind Kensi. "Thank _god, _I was really gettin' sick of having that hanging over my head. Now we just have to wrap all of this stuff, which- judging by the overwhelmingly large amount of items you bought, is gonna take a solid ten hours or so- um... Kens? You okay?"

He trailed off as he saw his wife hunched over the coffee table, one hand grabbing the couch for balance, the other resting on her midsection.

"Just- uh- gimme a minute."

Kensi cocked her head to one side, collapsing down onto the couch.

Deeks wasn't _too _alarmed, as it certainly wasn't the first time something like that had happened. Their child loved to kick, _a lot, _and the pain managed to become overwhelming fairly regularly.

"I am sooooo done, Deeks," Kensi muttered, tossing her head back against the couch cushions. "She needs to come _now."_

Deeks smiled- cheeky, like usual as he took a seat beside her, his head matching the height of hers so only five or six inches sat between them.

"I thought we were calling her something different now?"

She continued breathing heavily, one hand clutching her midsection. "Huh?"

"_Olivia. _I thought her name was Olivia."

Kensi smiled, thinking back to their conversation in the car. "Right. Well... in that case, I can't wait for _Olivia _to come."

"Pregnancy gotcha feeling a little down?" Deeks asked, almost sincere in his delivery but trying hard not to be.

He knew how much Kensi hated it when he went all 'Dr. Deeks' on her, and tried to remind her of every possible medical condition that could possibly come about while pregnant. Deeks was always worried about her, whether it was warranted or not.

"I'm not feeling _down, _Deeks," Kensi said frankly, rolling her eyes. "Our daughter decided to use my internal organs as a punching bag, that's all."

"Ohhhh, I see. She's doing a bit of combat training, huh?"

Kensi nodded, trying not to seem amused. _She wasn't doing a very good job. _

"Seems like it."

"Even as an infant, our daughter is already taking after her mother. I love it."

"I don't."

"Why?"

"Because it _hurts, _genius!"

"That's a valid point." Deeks stuck his bottom lip out, successfully attempting to be adorable. "But don't you want her to be just like you?"

Kensi shrugged, almost growing sheepish as her breathing steadied out and she fiddled with the edge of her tee shirt.

"I'd probably prefer if she was more like you."

Deeks furrowed his eyebrows, genuine and serious for once.

Kensi Marie Blye was many, _many _things- but 'self conscious' was not one of them.

"Babe... what are you _talking _about?"

"I dunno, exactly. I'm sorta... messed up, I guess, and that's exactly how I don't want her to be. I want her to stay perfect. Like you."

His heart came _damn _close to breaking apart, but Deeks did tried his best to hold it together. For her.

"I'm far from perfect. You know that."

Kensi still failed to make direct eye contact with him.

"Maybe. But you're funny and smart and..." She trailed off, furrowing her eyebrows as she tried to formulate a sentence worth delivering. "You know how to make people laugh and smile, and you're _better_ than me. Always have been. I want Olivia to be like that. I-I just want her to be a better person than I ever was."

Tears welled up in Kensi's eyes and Deeks immediately pulled her close to his chest, resting her head over his heart.

"Hey, hey, hey... don't cry babe. Please don't cry."

Deeks couldn't tell if it was the hormones talking, or if it was actually _Kensi. _Judging solely by the look on her face though, Deeks received his answer rather quickly.

It was all_ Kensi. _

He desperately wanted to ask her a million questions; say a million things. _Are you okay? Why are you crying? Don't say that I'm perfect, because I think you're perfect. Not me. I want her to be exactly like you. I do. You're the greatest person I know, so please don't try and tell me otherwise._

But as Kensi cried against his chest, her tears muffled by the crinkling of his button up, Deeks decided he'd refrain from talking, at least for the time being.

Wrapping his wife up securely in his arms seemed like the best possible plan- so he did just that.

Kensi held onto him tightly for another five minutes or so, until her tears began to dry and the sniffling began to stop. Slowly she relocated her chin so it was propped up against his chest, her eyes finally visible to his.

"I'm sorry."

He chuckled, but it was clear that his heart wasn't in it. Merely a sound, nothing else.

"Why are you_ sorry_?"

Kensi sighed, breaking eye contact as she rested the side of her head against his heart once more.

"I'm just sorry that you have to deal with this."

Deeks didn't share her point of view. "Deal with what? You telling me how you feel? I don't see that as being a problem."

She was silent, giving him a chance to add onto his original statement.

"You're wrong, by the way. You're _so _wrong._"_

"About what?" Kensi was acting shy again, her voice a quiet whisper.

"You're a great person. An _amazing _person. I don't know how you came to a different conclusion."

Deeks could practically feel the smile that spread across her face. "Do you really think so, though? I've had a pretty messed up life."

"We both have. But I think that, _considering the circumstances, _we both turned out just fine."

Kensi exhaled, her eyes fluttering closed as she calmed herself. "I do too."

"You do?"

"Yes."

He grinned, dropping a lingering kiss to the top of her head.

"Good. Because I want you to know that if our daughter is _anything _like you, than I am going to be the happiest man in the entire world. Happier than I already am... and I'm already _really _happy."

"I'm happy too," she said, her voice becoming increasingly soft with the passing time.

There was just silence, and for a short moment Deeks believed that Kensi had fallen asleep.

"I'm glad that I married you, Deeks."

It sounded like she was dreaming, as her words were barely even audible.

He smiled. Even if it was a dream, Deeks was glad to be a part of it.

"Me too, Kens."


	47. Deck The Halls

**Have I said that I love you guys too much? Maybe. But I don't care. I love you guys! I hope you all enjoy this chapter, please review as always:)**

**- Hazel**

* * *

It was exactly was one week until Christmas.

Just a matter of days before Marty Deeks' favorite holiday of the year, and his excitement couldn't be contained. It was amusing, really- the way he woke up every morning, a smile plastered to his face. Not that he wasn't _always _smiling, it just seemed wider and more pronounced.

Kensi hadn't exactly realized what she was getting herself into, but adored watching him grow giddier and giddier with each passing day, the anticipation practically killing him as he waited for December twenty fifth to arrive.

_The best day of the entire year._

The man was so chipper that he was actually whistling to himself while walking around the house, toting around boxes of ornaments and various decorations.

Kensi sat on the couch, untangling strings of lights as she stared at their bare tree. _It wouldn't look like that for long._

"Don't you think we're going a bit overboard, Deeks?"

Even with her question, his smile couldn't be broken.

"Nope," he said, gently dropping the box down to the floor, ensuring that no ornament would be broken or cracked in the process. "Why would you even ask me that?"

"This tree is like... twenty feet tall!"

She blurted out the figure, not bothering to think about it before hand.

He eyed her incredulously. "Twenty feet tall, Kens? _Twenty?"_

She shrugged. "Give or take a few."

"Wow. I'm just gonna go ahead and assume from that little hypothesis that you_ didn't _do too well in school."

"How does that even relate to school? Being able to pinpoint the size of a tree doesn't exactly apply to all aspects of my high school years."

"Oh, you're right. It's just common sense then. I should've said '_in life.'_"

"Rude."

"It's not rude if it's a clear observation."

"Who told you that?"

He thought for a beat, giving her an honest answer. "Ray, actually."

She snorted. "Well, go ahead and tell Ray that he's a moron."

"Sounds like a good plan. I'll break his cover just so I can insult him._ 'Hey man! My wife thinks you're a moron! Miss you! Kay bye._'"

"It's a great idea, I'd run with it if I were you."

"You don't mean that. You're being sarcastic."

She cocked her head over to one side, eyes bulging. "Yeah, _Sherlock,_ how'd ya guess?"

"Instincts. I am the jungle cat, after all."

"Shut up. You're just diverting away from the point."

"What was your point, exactly?"

Kensi pointed around the room. "This."

Deeks didn't seem to follow, so he just mirrored her movements. "This?"

"Yes, this. All of this." She pointed to the tree, the stockings, then finally down to the five boxes of decorations they still needed to unpack.

"I don't see the problem."

"Well... we're moving _really _soon, and it's gonna be a lot of work to take this all down once we're finished with it."

Deeks chuckled, grabbing and carefully unwrapping an ornament from the box.

"I think that's what we do every year, whether we're moving or not."

Kensi thought about his answer for a moment, suddenly realizing how stupid her comment had been in the first place.

"Ah. Touche."

Deeks teasingly pierced both fists high into the air, a stupid grin encapsulating his entire face. "Look at that! You _actually _used it right! I'm so proud Ferny, so proud."

"I'm glad I could make you smile, Deeks."

He sat up straight, dropping his jaw in a clear display of sarcastic emotion.

"Wow. I think you're going all soft on me here Blye, it's crazy. You're just _agreeing _with me. I don't know how to handle it."

Kensi shook her head, eyes narrowed as she tried to hold her laughter in. "Shut up."

He smirked. "There it is."

Rolling both eyes, Kensi extended one arm out in front of her body, her hand entangled with a string of lights.

"Just... take these, and make yourself useful. I'll unwrap the ornaments."

Deeks winked at her, beginning to fiddle with the knotted up gift he'd just recieved. "Yes _mom_."

In what seemed like half a second he got the string of lights to run straight, and Kensi couldn't do anything except gawk.

"How did you... um...?"

"Jungle cat," he stated simply, smirking.

"Again?"

"It explains _everything_."

"Oh, of course. How could I have forgotten?" She muttered, standing up and walking towards the tree, planning to hang a decoration.

"Fernnnnn!" Deeks exclaimed suddenly, jumping up and randomly tossing a string of red tulle over her, so it draped over both her shoulders and up onto her head.

Kensi turned around slowly, looking genuinely concerned for her husband's mental health.

"What the hell was that for?"

"I'm decorating you."

It seemed like a good enough excuse for acting like a total and complete idiot, so Deeks went along with it.

"Why?"

"Because this color compliments your skin tone _perfectly-"_

"No, Deeks. Just..." She shook her head. _"No."_

"Why?"

"Come _on, _really?"

"I'm throwing it right back at you, that's all."

"Nope. You're just being _obnoxious."_

Deeks smiled, desperately wanting to kiss his wife. He began to lean in, but Kensi turned around to face the tree a bit too quickly, not even realizing that she was rejecting him in the process.

"Ouch. I'm hurt, Fern. Honestly insulted. I mean, it's the_ holidays_, you probably shouldn't be rejecting your husband during the most wonderful time of the year-"

Kensi interrupted him with a kiss, entirely forgetting what she'd stood up to do in the first place.

She quickly pulled away to examine Deeks' face, noting how genuinely _shocked _he looked by her little notion. The expression was almost an exact replication of the one he'd worn after she'd surprised him with a kiss for the very first time.

"Wow."

"What?"

"That was just..." He chuckled. "Unexpected."

"I like surprising you."

"And I like surprises."

"Good."

"Good."

Kensi popped her eyebrows up once, swiftly turning around so she could find a spot for the ornament that she was still holding on their bare Christmas tree. Once her head was turned away from him, Kensi couldn't help but smile at how much their mannerisms had morphed and changed in just a couple of months.

In the early days of their relationship, it used to seem like Deeks was the only who ever made a move. Kensi rarely found it necessary to _sneak-attack_ him with a kiss, as he was usually already doing it.

She loved him, she really did. So in an attempt to keep the promise that she would 'lighten up,' Kensi had taken it upon herself to try and be a bit more spontaneous.

And judging by the way Deeks had just reacted to her impromptu kiss, he was _really_ enjoying her slight change in personality.

"You're being so nice, Kens. It's great," he said quietly, pulling out a second string of lights to untangle.

She laughed, her back still turned to him. "Well... you're just being so chipper today, maybe it's contagious?"

"Maybe."

There was a short silence, one that Kensi quickly broke. "You shouldn't be wondering about me though. I think _you're_ the one who's being uncharacteristically perky."

"It's almost _Christmas, _Kens," Deeks stated, as if his words were the obvious answer for everything.

"I know that... but you're just _different. _It's weird."

"How do you figure?"

Kensi shrugged, sitting back down on the couch and smiling as she pulled a perfectly pristine silver ornament from it's wrapping. "I don't know. You're so... _excitable."_

"Or I'm just excited."

"Doesn't that mean the same thing?"

"Not totally."

She sighed. Deeks was notorious for being the grammar police with her, though half the time he himself spoke like a drunken surfer who'd had a few two many beers.

"Well, whether you're 'excitable' or just 'excited'- you _really _seem to love it."

"What's not to love?"

Kensi exhaled, finally getting around to making her point. "Nothing. You're right- it's beautiful, and magical... all that fun stuff. But I guess I just assumed that it wasn't very fun for you... growing up."

Oh, so this was about his father. Deeks had spotted it a mile away.

But trying to divert the topic of conversation away from the touchy subject only worked for a short while, as Kensi was keen in getting the answers she desired.

They were _married, _yet the woman still knew hardly anything about his past. Small things would bring it to her attention, forcing Kensi to wonder about all the aspects of his life that she still didn't have a clue about.

"Is this about my dad, Kens?" Deeks asked, already knowing the answer.

She tilted her head from shoulder to shoulder, unsure of how to respond. "More or less, yeah."

He was her husband, so wanting to know about the completely personal parts of his life was a warranted right.

Deeks clenched his jaw. Kensi thought about jumping in, saying that it was fine, and that he didn't need to talk about it if he didn't want to.

But before she could utter a single word, her partner had already begun to speak.

"My dad was just awful during the holidays. I'm not sure what it was exactly... but he always got _worse._" Deeks snorted, thinking back to a foul memory. As always, he laughed to cover up the hurt.

To Kensi on the other hand, his true feelings were obvious. Behind the facade, she could still how much it pained him to go back there.

"He hated the holidays- drank, drank, beat me up, drank some more. But there was one Christmas in particular..." Deeks shook his head, the exterior wall of blank stares and emotionless words crumbling. "It was _bad."_

For a long moment he left it at that, not adding onto his statements.

"What happened?" Kensi asked cautiously, hoping she hadn't seemed too eager for a reply.

Deeks stared down at his hands, fidgeting with the string of lights. "Well... he hit my mom, and I intervened. It, um..." Clearing his throat, Deeks looked up to meet her gaze, eyes glossy with a subtle sheen.

"It was the day I knew I wanted to be a cop."

Kensi's eyes widened as she reveled in the sincerity of his revelation.

"Was this before or after Thanksgiving?"

Deeks stuck his lower lip out, puzzled. "Well, judging solely by the way my calender is structured I'm going to go with _after-"_

"Come on. You know what I'm talking about."

"I do?"

"Yes, you do."

_He did._

Deeks sighed, rubbing his scruff. "It was... _before _that particular Thanksgiving. Maybe that was why, _when the time came,_ I felt so comfortable taking a stand to him."

"Could be."

Deeks exhaled. "So, to answer your first question- _that _is the reason why I'm so 'excitable,' as you put it. I don't have any good holiday memories growing up, and I-I just want ours to be different."

She smiled softly, grabbing his hand. "I do too."

His eyes danced around the room for a minute, eventually settling on the array of boxes that sat before them.

"You know, this is just the half of it. There's like, five more boxes up in the attic."

"There's an _attic _here?"

He laughed, nodding. "That wasn't what I was expecting you to take away from my sentence, but yes- there's an attic."

"Good to know." Kensi shook her head. She _lived _there, and somehow didn't know it existed. "And I'm sorry- did you say _five _more boxes?"

"Possibly six.

"Why aren't we using all of them then?"

She wanted to decorate. _Funny._ It was a change in attitude, one that was recognized and appreciated.

"I was hoping to keep you sane, at least until the baby comes."

"Is that all?"

She knew there was something else. He'd never seemed to mind driving her crazy, and that seemed like a peculiar time to start.

"Well... I wanted to save some of them for Livie."

Their daughter hadn't even taken a breath yet, and Deeks was already giving her a nickname.

_Not that she minded._

Kensi almost fainted from the cuteness he exuded in that moment, but tried (unsuccessfully) to keep her cool.

"I'm sure she'll love it."

"And I'm sure you're right."

Kensi squeezed his hand tightly before dropping it. She stood, pressing both sets of fingers together.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

She smiled goofily. "To decorate."

Knowing the root behind all of Deeks' anticipation made her want to 'deck the halls' like a mad woman.

Kensi would go out, buy a twenty foot tall tree, get some candy canes, make him a gingerbread house- all if it meant Deeks was getting the Christmas he desired.

No- the one he _deserved. _Fond memories that would last.

Deeks smiled at her enthusiasm.

"Let's do this, Ferny."


	48. Past to Present

**The inspiration behind the second half of this chapter came from emeraldeyesfilledwithfear- thank you for allowing me to use your fabulous idea! **

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter- please continue to review! I appreciate them more than you know:)**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"This really is one of the ugliest sweaters I've _ever_ seen," Kensi muttered as she walked down the street beside Deeks, one of her hands clutching his and the other holding a gift bag.

"It really is."

"What was she thinking though? This thing utterly terrifying."

He chuckled, eyes drifting down to the present in her hands. "Yes, it is. And that is exactly why we're returning it."

"Not gonna lie, it was a terrible Christmas present. I hope Nell isn't insulted if she doesn't see me wearing it at work now that we're back from break... but honestly, when do I wear sweaters anyways?"

"I think you mean scratchy, itchy, _argyle _sweaters." Deeks pointed to the bag. "That thing is just a whole new level of awfulness."

"Yeah, it was a pretty bad gift. But I've seen worse."

"Like what?"

She chuckled, thinking back to a rather cringeworthy memory. "A couple of years ago, before you came along, Sam told G that he needed to get us more 'personalized' Christmas presents."

Deeks knitted his eyebrows.

"As opposed to what? Money?" His eyes lit up. "Oh Kensalina, _please _tell me that G used to give you money. Please."

"How would that even work? Isn't he like... super broke?"

"He's a senior agent, I don't see how he can be _broke."_

"There isn't any furniture in his house."

"I believe that is _by choice, _my dear. He told me that he doesn't like the clutter. It's weird, but the guy doesn't even have a first name. Nothing he does surprises me at this point."

"But why would anyone choose not to have stuff?"

He lifted one eyebrow, smiling smugly. "Why would anyone choose to have a house overflowing with tons and tons of stuff that they never use, let alone look at? Oh wait, that's you."

She raised a finger in the air, warningly. "Don't go there, Deeks."

"I'm merely pointing out the fact that I'm married to a hoarder."

"I like my stuff."

"That's what hoarders say. This conversation feels oddly familiar, don't ya think? You should know my opinion on this rather... _touchy subject _by now."

He held her gaze, forcing Kensi to relent. "Fine. _Touche."_

"Thank you. But I still like my original idea better... the idea of G just handing you a twenty dollar bill as a gift is _priceless._ I'd pay so much money to see that."

"You're an ass."

"Only on occasion."

Kensi snorted, shaking her head. "Whatever. The gift was usually more like a gun cleaning kit."

"Well... that's still useful."

"But not at all personal."

"You have a very close relationship with your gun."

She simply shrugged.

"Don't blow me off here Annie Oakley. You _looooooooove _your gun."

"I do, that's very true."

Kensi wasn't tacking anything else onto her statement, so Deeks dug further.

"What did he give you that was 'personal'?"

She bit her bottom lip, stifling a laugh. "I didn't say personal, Deeks. I said _personalized."_

"Is there a difference?"

"Yes. Huge."

Deeks' confusion didn't last long. His mouth fell open at her revelation, both eyes wide. "Oh my god. He didn't."

"He did."

"No. _Monograms?_"

"Yes, exactly that."

Deeks busted over laughing, hardly able to keep his body moving forward down the street. "What was it? A jacket? A purse? Wallet? Duffle bag?"

Kensi finally turned to face him, both eyebrows raised. "A journal."

"You're kidding. He gave you a _diary?"_

"It was a journal- and yes, he did."

"So _that's_ where you got it from. I always assumed your mother gave it to you, or a friend."

"Nope. It was all G."

"Fantastic. Now tell me, how is that worse than the Bill Cosby sweater Nell gave you?"

"It wasn't worse. The journal was a great present."

"Than what was the problem, exactly?"

"It was just awkward," she spit out through slightly gritted teeth.

"Oh, yeah. I can see that. G gave you a diary."

Kensi wasn't even going to correct him. It honestly was a _diary. _"Uh-huh."

"Which is... ya know, _weird."_

"It wasn't just me, Deeks. Everyone got one."

"Dammit, Kensalina. You're ruining the moment."

"My sincerest apologies."

He sighed. "Well, it seems that Nell has some pretty high standards to meet. She should've gotten you something cool... like Kama Sutra."

She snorted. "Hetty already gave me that."

Kensi's eyes immediately widened as the words escaped her lips without a moment of trepidation. Deeks practically burst out laughing, still dragging her along beside him.

"Oh. My. God. I was right all along! She _did _give you Kama Sutra last Christmas! You sneaky little liar, I should've known-"

"Max?"

Deeks stopped dead in his tracks.

He knew that voice from somewhere- it sounded vaguely familiar, yet he couldn't pinpoint it. Deeks knew that name as well. With a silent prayer he begged that the person wasn't calling out to him, and that he wasn't the 'Max' they were referring to.

But as the inquisitive man came closer, Deeks knew he was in for trouble.

_It was Joey._ Someone from his not-so-pleasant past.

He was still about fifteen paces away at that point, bobbing through the crowd at a speedy rate. Deeks turned while he still had the time, speaking to Kensi in a hushed tone.

"Babe, you've gotta get out of here."

Her eyes were wide with and filled to the brim with something resembling fear, which rarely came about for Kensi Blye.

"Wait... is he talking to you? As in _Max Gentry?"_

Deeks swallowed hard and nodded quickly, his breathing becoming almost panicked as he leaned his face down close to hers.

"Yes, so that means you've gotta go. Right now."

She stood tall, shoulder blades pressed together. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want you to see this."

_Max. _

He didn't want her to see _Max, _the person he unwillingly had to become.

"I'm staying," she stated firmly, squeezing his hand tightly.

Deeks was practically pleading with her by that point. "Please, Kens just-"

"Max?"

There he was _again. _Except this time, Joey was standing only about two feet away.

It was time. He needed to put up the facade, to begin the act, to become someone else entirely.

_Max Gentry._

Deeks jetted his head to one side, muttering something almost inaudible to Kensi before addressing Joey.

"I'm sorry."

He didn't need to say anything more. Kensi already understood what he was sorry for, before anything had actually transpired between the two men.

She knew what he had to do.

Joey seemed to cower as he noticed Kensi, his adam's apple bobbing.

"New girl?"

Deeks didn't like the term, but this wasn't exactly _Deeks. _This was Max.

"Not really new."

He assumed Joey would notice Kensi's wedding ring sooner or later, so he went ahead and pointed it out.

The man was stunned, and opened his mouth twice before any words would actually come out.

"Wow. You're... married."

"Yup."

Kensi remained silent throughout the full duration of their little exchange, her eyes shooting back and forth between the two men.

"And I see you're gonna be a dad as well," Joey said, pointing to Kensi's abdomen and shaking his head in the process. "It's not really the Max I knew."

Deeks shrugged. "Things change."

"Apparently. You haven't shown your face for quite some time. The guys have been wondering about you."

He scratched the bag of his head, trying not to seem nervous- unsuccessfully so. Deeks' hand tightened around Kensi's, his grip unrelenting.

"I'm kinda... done with that life."

"Sad to hear it."

Deeks was certain that he wasn't really upset by it, but the facade was a pretty solid one.

"Good to see you Joey, but we've gotta go," he muttered, seeing a quick way to escape and jumping at it.

Deeks didn't get more than two paces before Joey's hand was gripping his shoulder, holding him back.

"Not so fast. A few of the guys have been looking for you. According to them there's some... _unfinished business."_

Deeks rolled his eyes, playing it cool. "That was years ago. Billy should be over it by now."

"He's not."

Straightening up tall, Deeks dropped his wife's hand and took two steps forward, voicing an aggressive tone.

"That's too bad."

Suddenly Deeks was just _gone, _and the man standing beside Kensi was undoubtedly _Max. _

With furrowed eyebrows she took a single step away from the situation, worried and trying damn hard not to let it show through.

"You should probably come with me, Max," Joey said, trying to seem friendly in his delivery, though his words were clearly hinting at another possibility.

"Do you want a reminder of what happened the last time you got pushy with me?"

He'd punched him. _Hard._

Deeks seriously doubted that Joey wanted the memory recreated.

The man swallowed, his confident front faltering.

"No."

Showing him a fabricated and smug smile, Deeks made his final remarks.

"That's good."

Without even waiting around for a reply Deeks grabbed Kensi's hand, pulling her along at a rapid pace. She leaned in as they just kept on walking, not stopping once they reached what was supposed to be their final destination.

"Deeks-"

He just shook his head, cutting Kensi off before another word could escape from her lips.

"We're gonna have to save the shopping trip for another day."

Her eyes widened at his steadfast expression. "What's going on?"

His gaze shot around frantically, both eyes only settling on a single object or person for a fleeting second before moving on to the next.

"I don't know," he answered honestly, clearly paranoid. "We need to get home though."

"Now?"

"Yes," Deeks muttered, rounding the street corner and tightening his grip on her hand. "Right now."


	49. Promised

**So sorry for the lack in updates! I've been traveling, and then had to makeup lots of school work once I returned. Also, sorry for the excuses. I'm just busy I guess. ;) But I have a full week off now, so expect more regular updates! **

**Anyways- please enjoy and review, as always! **

**-Hazel **

* * *

By the time they reached the car, Deeks was more than just a little worried about their new predicament. He was totally and completely petrified, paranoid, and puzzled-_ all at once._

Had he just been made? Had his cover been blown? Were they in danger? Was _Kensi _in danger?

The questions flew at him a mile-a-minute, but wasn't able to answer a single one of them.

Kensi buckled her seatbelt as Deeks threw the car into reverse, peeling out of the parking lot.

"What the _hell _is going on, Deeks?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "But I think my cover might've just been blown."

"Joey was referring to you as Max, not Deeks. That doesn't sound bad to me."

He shook his head, defiant. "I dunno. Something just didn't feel right."

"That's probably because he was calling you Max," she stated, trying her best to calm him- a slight hint of sarcasm usually did the trick.

"Kens, I-"

Deeks was cut cut off as his cell phone began to ring. Kensi glanced down to the median where it sat, and knew it was trouble the moment she glanced at the caller ID.

He reached for it, but she was quicker.

"Hetty?" she breathed into the phone, unsure of what to expect.

"It seems we have a problem. You two need to get here, _now."_

The line went dead.

With sweating palms and a racing heart, Kensi brought the phone back down to rest on her leg.

"Wh-what did she say?"

Swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat, Kensi pressed her lips into a firm line.

"We're going to OSP." She turned to look at him, eyes misty. "It seems your suspicions were right."

* * *

"So... someone's been checking into Deeks' alias?"

Eric nodded, eyes wide as he stood beside Nell up in OPS, attention directed at Kensi.

"I got an alert around twenty minutes ago or so... that's when Hetty called you guys."

Deeks furrowed his eyebrows, dragging his gaze down to examine Kensi. She was standing up tall beside him, trying to put on a brave front. Despite the facade, he could easily tell that she was falling apart._  
_

They both knew what needed to happen. What Deeks needed to do.

_It didn't change the fact that nobody wanted it. _

Deeks brought his eyes back up to Eric's. "I need to go back undercover, don't I?"

Nell and Eric both nodded slowly, their line of sight shifting towards Kensi. It wasn't a shock, she'd seen it coming. That made it much easier for her to hide her displeasure behind a mask of stoicism.

"How long?"

That was the only question she could let out without breaking down completely.

"It all depends," Hetty said, entering the room just as Kensi spoke. "Mr. Deeks just needs to solidify his alias once more."

He shook his head, clearly frustrated. "But why? Kensi was with me, which means that I've probably already been blown. They know that I'm married now."

Hetty nodded. "Yes, they do. It will make things tricky, but not impossible. Just try to rekindle your old friendships with some of the men in Joey's crowd, then you can slip away again. They certainly are getting suspicious, though."

Kensi's mask was crumbling at a rapid rate.

"Then just let them be suspicious!" She exclaimed, exasperated and taking step forward. "Why does any of it matter? If his cover's been blown, then it just is what it is_. _You know how much of a risk we're taking sending him in now."

"I do."

"Then why do it?"

"Because, Mrs. Deeks," Hetty began, moving towards them and remaining calm despite Kensi's sudden change in attitude. "We may need to use the 'Max Gentry' alias again. We can't risk losing all of the connections he's made over the years."

"But it's _so _dangerous, Hetty," she whispered, almost pleading. "They won't hesitate to kill him if they find out he's a cop."

She grabbed Kensi's hand reassuringly, pretending as if there was no one else around.

"We won't let that happen."

Kensi saw that there was no way she was going to win that argument. Deeks was going back undercover, whether she liked it or not.

Nodding, she stepped back into place beside Deeks, folding her hands and looking to the floor. Kensi was nearing tearfulness, and didn't want to give anyone a chance to see it.

Deeks swallowed hard as his eyes caught on her expression- he despised being the one to make her cry.

"Mr. Deeks?"

He cleared his throat, directing his attention back towards Hetty.

"Yes?"

"You're going back in tonight. There's no time to waste."

Deeks opened his mouth in an effort to respond, but once again, Kensi was quicker.

"How long?"

Hetty tilted her head from shoulder to shoulder, thinking.

"We'll see. He could be back in just a few days if everything goes according to plan."

_If. _She despised the large sense of uncertainty that was looming over both their heads.

Kensi blinked slowly, pushing the tears away for another time. They were of no use, and would only make her appear weak.

Weakness wasn't something that she dealt with well, not at all.

Suddenly the room felt stuffy and hot, as if her throat was going to close up unless she got out of there, _quickly._

"I'm gonna, um-"

Kensi pointed feebly towards the exit, forcing her legs to carry her body towards the door. Deeks gave a quick look to Eric, Nell and Hetty before jogging out after her.

He hopped down the steps two at a time, trying his very best to match her pace, which was quick and uneven.

"Kens?"

She didn't stop, pause, or even slow down until they were both outside in the parking lot, the door closed securely behind Deeks.

"I'm sorry," he muttered quietly, knowing that it was a half-ass response.

There was nothing more to say, though. Nothing that would make it better, or easier for her to digest.

"I hate this," Kensi whispered in reply, her back still turned to him. iIt was readily apparent from the way her voice quaked and quivered that she was crying. "But you have to do it."

Deeks just nodded, his hands digging deep into the pockets of his jeans. "I have to do it."

He could see her head wiggle up and down, but nothing more.

"Will you look at me, please?"

She complied after two or three seconds, finally showing her face to Deeks. Her cheeks were stained with fresh tears, both arms folded tightly across her chest.

His adam's apple bobbed, and Deeks could feel tears as they began to sting his eyes.

"Tell me what to do to make this better, and I'll do it."

She chuckled, but it was clear that her heart wasn't in it.

"Well for starters... don't go."

He sighed, eyes tracing the stamped concrete beneath him.

"Something actually doable?"

Kensi just shrugged. "I've got nothing."

"I'm sorry," he repeated, hoping it might be mean something more if he said it again. "I really am. I hate that you had to get caught up in this."

"Comes with the job, I guess," she muttered, trying to reassure herself.

_It wasn't working._

"It shouldn't."

"We still have to deal with it."

"But you're pregnant, and-"

Kensi took a step forward. "I'm _fine. _Just keep yourself safe, and I'll stay that way."

He didn't nod, or smile, or make any further movement- and it was incredibly disconcerting.

"This op is really dangerous, isn't it?"

Deeks hesitated briefly before nodding, the motion slow and certain.

Kensi inhaled sharply, nostrils stinging from the cold winter air.

"And your cover could already be blown," she said, unable to even look at him. "By _me."_

Now, that type of self-accusation was something that Deeks would _fiercely _protest.

"None of this is your fault, Kens."

"Yes it is."

"How?"

"If I hadn't been with you, then-"

"No," Deeks said firmly, shaking his head. "That's not fair, so don't even put it out there. What are we supposed to do, never go out in public together? It was a crazy thing that happened, and the chances were one in a million. You never could've seen it coming."

She just couldn't bring herself to share the same optimistic view.

"You could die, Deeks."

He pulled her in close, hating the words as they exited her mouth. Deeks knew all too well how true they were.

"I'm not gonna die," he whispered, closing his eyes and smoothing out her long brown hair.

Kensi buried her head in the crook of his shoulder, wrapping both arms securely around his neck.

"I want her to know you."

The words were muffled, but Deeks got the message loud and clear. A single tear escaped one eye, trickling down his cheek slowly before dropping onto the top of Kensi's head.

That was all Kensi wanted, really. No other option would do.

Olivia needed to know her father, and Deeks needed to know his daughter.

They needed to raise her together. To teach her life lessons. To throw her birthday parties. To laugh, smile, joke, play, tease..._ together. _

_As a family._

"So do I... more than anything. You know that."

He kissed the top of her head, letting his lips linger there for a moment longer than usual.

"I'm not gonna die."

Kensi practically shuddered at his strong deceleration, hoping and desperately praying that it was true.

"Promise?" She asked, trying to even out her breathing.

Deeks pulled her in even closer, closing his eyes. He'd already made that vow to her once before, but there was no harm in saying it again.

"I promise."


	50. Alias

**I'm not gonna keep you guys for long up here, I just wanted to say thank you once again! I hope you all enjoy this new chapter, please review as always! **

**-Hazel**

* * *

God, there was nothing worse she could experience, honestly.

Nothing worse than just standing up in OPS, completely unable to protect her husband as Kensi watched him go undercover.

The scenario felt eerily reminiscent of the last time Deeks had been shot- except by that point in time she was further along in her pregnancy, and they had even more to lose.

Sam and Callen both had already tried speaking to her, hoping that they would be able to say something reassuring and affirming, something that might make her worries subside. Nothing worked, though. They weren't getting through to her.

That time around Eric gave her an earpiece from the start, and Kensi knew it was a blatant attempt to avoid being yelled at. Her emotions were unstable- _rightfully so, _but that meant the team had no clue what might set her off.

Nell's eyes caught on Kensi, who was standing in front of the table monitor, biting her thumbnail with both arms folded tightly across her chest.

"You good?" She asked, her tone hushed as she took two steps towards her friend.

Kensi almost jumped, clearly lost in her own world. She regained her composure rather quickly though, finding it within herself to get it together.

"I'm fine," she stated simply, her tone gruff.

Nell knew far better than to actually believe that she was telling the truth, but still smiled and nodded regardless.

She was just about to walk back over towards Eric, but Kensi's barely whispered words stopped her.

"How dangerous is this op, anyways?"

She'd asked Deeks, she'd asked Hetty, and she'd asked Eric- but nobody had given her an answer that she knew to be straightforward. Nell was her friend though, someone that she hoped would tell her truth, no matter how hard it might be to hear.

"Well..." she trailed off, scratching the back of her neck. "That all depends."

"Depends on what, exactly?"

Kensi was almost afraid to ask, but she did it anyways.

Nell paused, swallowing hard. "Whether or not his cover has been blown."

Kensi already knew that, so it didn't come as much of a surprise. No new information.

Really though, it didn't matter. _She couldn't help but want to punch someone._

Deeks was going into a scenario that was beginning to feel like a death trap, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

"You're on, Deeks."

Kensi's head snapped back towards the front monitor, her attention refocusing as she heard Eric speak. A video feed appeared on the flatscreen, streaming directly from the button cam on her partner's jacket.

"Thanks Eric."

Deeks' quietly muttered words made her heart flutter as they boomed throughout the room, echoing against the walls.

"You good, Deeks?" She asked in a hushed tone, taking two steps towards the monitor.

"Uh-huh," he muttered, not tacking anything more onto his little statement. He was approaching the door to what she assumed was a bar, and Kensi knew there was nothing more he could say without the risk of blowing his cover. Talking to yourself does _not _look good.

Deeks pushed the door open, walked inside and did a full 180 degree turn, just so Eric and Nell could get video footage of each person inside the bar. They weren't necessarily _all_ bad, but they weren't all good either.

The room went dead silent as he entered, each and every set of eyes staring at Deeks has he entered. He was well known around those parts, she could tell. One person in particular caught Kensi's eye, standing out amongst the others.

"Look at that!" Joey exclaimed, rotating around in his chair. "You came back!"

Deeks took two slow steps forward. "Only for a little while. We need to... clear the air."

"And why is that?" Joey asked, his demeanor unsettlingly cocky. "Have you done something wrong?"

Deeks almost chuckled, but the sound wasn't happy enough to actually be considered a laugh.

"No. But you know why I can't be hanging around here anymore."

"Your girl?" He asked, loud enough for everyone in a ten foot radius to here.

"Yeah." Deeks didn't like the label, but he went along with it anyways. "My family."

"Whatever happened with you and Nicole?"

Back at OPS, Kensi blood began to boil at the simple mention of that woman's name. She didn't like her, not one bit. Listening intently though, she just hoped that Deeks would be able to brush the topic of discussion aside rather easily.

"It... it didn't work out."

"And why is that?"

"I don't know exactly why, but that's not the reason that I'm here. We should just move on."

"I don't think so. Because I..." He began, standing up from his chair. "I have a hunch."

Deeks desperately didn't want to ask the question that was sitting on the tip of his tongue, but he knew it was required.

"Okay. What's your hunch?"

Joey shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe that you might've been hiding something from her? From _all _of us?"

Every ounce of blood drained from Kensi's face, her breathing growing shallow.

"Deeeeeks," she growled into her earpiece. "Don't give in. He's just taunting you, okay? Come on. You've got this."

He couldn't respond to her, so instead just acknowledged Joey's question.

"I'm not hiding anything."

"Is that so?"

Deeks' bobbed his head up and down. He was trying to remain calm, but sure that some part of his rock-hard outward exterior was crumbling.

"Nothing at all."

Joey took yet another step forward, two other guys following closely behind.

"You're lying."

Those two simple words were the cause of Kensi's undoing.

"Eric!" She exclaimed, flicking off her earpiece so she wasn't screaming at Deeks too. "You've gotta pull him out!"

He looked unsure, and it was infuriating. "Kens-"

"No! You've gotta get him out!"

"They haven't said that he's LAPD yet."

"They've sure as hell implied it!"

Neither Eric nor Nell said another word, so Kensi just inhaled sharply, cursing inaudibly to herself before switching the earpiece back on.

Deeks hadn't broken cover yet- he was still remaining completely stoic.

"I'm not lying."

Joey smiled. The expression was smug and made Kensi's stomach churn.

"Oh, come on. Give it up already."

Deeks didn't say anything, and the silence seemed almost incriminating.

"Nothing? Really? Well, _Detective Deeks... _I'm sorry it had to end this way."

A punch was thrown to his face before Deeks could mutter even a single word in reply.

"Deeks!"

The camera feed suddenly turned to black as yet another punch came in contact with his body. Then their audio connection went away- only cackling remaining.

Kensi gasped, a hand flying up to cover her mouth. His name breathily tumbled out once more before she could stifle it, her vision growing blurry.

"Eric! We've gotta pull him out!"

Sam and Callen both sprinted from the room, diving between the automatic doors and calling out to Eric as they ran.

"Call LAPD, tell them that we need backup!"

"On it!"

Kensi forced herself to remain standing, practically begged her legs not to fall out from beneath her. They had come damn close to collapsing, she knew that. She gripped the edge of the table monitor, feeling positively useless as the entire team ran in circles around her.

"LAPD is on their way," Eric stated simply to both Nell and Kensi.

Nell nodded at him, but Kensi wasn't quite as keen to respond.

"Are you okay?"

She lifted her eyes, about to open her mouth and respond when something stopped her. Something that even she couldn't explain.

"Owww," she moaned, shuddering and tightening her grip on the edge of the table.

Nell ran to her side, grabbing her friends one free hand.

"Kens? _Kens? _What's going on?"

She couldn't force a fully intact thought to exit her mouth- _the pain was just too much. _

Waving one hand around frantically in the air, Kensi was barely able to squeak out a single request.

"Chair."

Nell picked up on it, but her partner wasn't quite as intuitive.

"Eric! Get the girl a chair!"

He swallowed and obeyed, face ashen as he rolled an offiice chair across the room, placing the seat directly beneath Kensi. She fell into it breathlessly, inhaling a silent scream as she sat.

Nell looked panicked, her eyes flashing from Eric to Kensi, and then back up to Eric. Her helpless expression wasn't lost on him, but seeing as he didn't know anything more about the situation that she did there was no real assistance he could offer.

"Kensi? Can you please-"

_She screamed._

It was loud, bloodcurdling and more than just a little frightening to the two people up in OPS with her.

"Oh my god, Kensi! You've gotta tell me what's going on," Nell begged, growing teary eyed as she watched her continue to grimace in pain.

A single hand flew to rest on her midsection, eyes widening as she panted for air.

"It, um, _hurts." _

"It hurts? Where does it hurt?"

Kensi weakly pointed one hand at her baby bump.

Nell had no idea exactly what that meant, but it certainly didn't look good.

"Eric, call 911."

He didn't immediately respond. She shot her head around, and tried not to be pissed off as she saw him scrolling through something on his phone.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm googling her symptoms."

"Seriously? Are you really on _WebMD_ right now?" Nell asked, her tone still frantic as she remained kneeled on the floor beside Kensi.

He tossed both hands in the air. "Yes! What else am I supposed to do? It's not like there's an in-house doctor here!"

_He had a point. _

She turned towards Kensi, stroking back her hair so it wouldn't be dampened by the beads of sweat that were accumulating around her hairline.

"We need to get you to the hospital."

She shook her head furiously. Deeks was the one in pain, not her.

"No. I'll be fine."

"We need to-"

"Oh no," Eric whispered, face ashen.

Nell's chin dropped, her gaze transferring to focus on him once more.

"What is it? What did you find?"

He slowly lifted his head, eyes wide.

"Has anyone ever heard of a stress induced labor?"


	51. Expectant

**I absolutely loved writing this chapter, so this one was rather easy to update quickly! I've also just wrapped up two of my other stories, which makes it much easier for me to solely focus my time on Anew:)**

**I hope you all enjoy this new chapter, and please drop a review down below if you did!**

**-Hazel**

* * *

"Federal agents!"

"Drop your weapons!"

Sam yelled first, then Callen as they ran into the bar, weapons drawn. As was expected, the guns aimed in their direction weren't dropped, just fired.

G let out two bullets, Sam let out three, and all of their opponents were down in a matter of seconds.

"Deeks!" Sam called out, his eyes searching for his friend but coming up empty. "Deeks!"

He heard some muffled clanking coming from the back room, and took a step forward, listening intently.

_Footsteps._

Silently he motioned for Callen to follow his lead, taking three slow and even paces forward before stopping at the doorway to what looked like an office.

"Three, two, one..."

They stormed in to find Deeks tied to a chair on the back wall, face puffy and bruised. They couldn't focus on him for too long though, as both men had to dive back behind the door in order to avoid being shot at.

Sam jumped back inside after the sound of gunfire stopped, firing off two shots- one that hit Joey in the chest, and one more that just went into the floor.

As Sam dove out of harms way Callen stepped in to take his place, firing off a single shot that nailed the second suspect in the side. He crumbled forward and fell to the ground, landing with a loud thud.

"Look at that!" Deeks exclaimed, smiling faintly as both men approached. "You two finally decided to show up. How nice of you. I've been keeping them occupied in your absence, so don't worry. Nobody was bored. I would've preferred a board game though, maybe Monopoly or something. It seems like that would be far more entertaining than using my face as a punching bag."

Sam shook his head, pulling a knife out of his pocket in order to cut the zip ties off of Deeks' wrists.

"Good to have you back. It looks like the _Max Gentry_ alias has officially been retired."

Deeks smiled faintly, pointing one finger up in the air before dropping it back down to his lap.

"You alright?"

He nodded, rubbing both wrists as they were released from their bonds.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Nothing broken?" Sam asked, both eyes intently studying his face.

"Just a few bruises, I believe," he muttered, wincing as Callen patted him on the shoulder.

"Ooh. Sorry."

Deeks shrugged, and it hurt like hell. He made a mental note _not _to do that again.

"No worries. I'd just really like to see my wife. Is she waiting out in the car?"

Sam and Callen immediately locked eyes, each silently asking the other what they were supposed to do or say. Eric had called on the drive there, just to let them in on what was going down back at OSP. He'd sounded scared and more than just a little flustered over the phone.

Callen looked completely dumbstruck, so Sam found it within himself to take over.

"Before we say anything... just know that she's fine, okay?"

Deeks' face fell, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"She's okay! Don't worry, it's not _bad, _necessarily-"

Deeks' head snapped back and forth between the two men, his voice voice rising as he shot up from the chair.

"What the hell is going on? Where is she?"

Callen exhaled, looking for the right words. "Eric called, and it seems that she... uh... um..."

Sam saw that Deeks was about to strangle one of them if they didn't spit it out already, and was quick to jump in.

"Look- Eric thinks that she's going into labor."

He took a step back, eyes growing wide. "No."

"That's what he said."

"But-but she isn't due for two more weeks!"

Sam cocked his head to one side. "Stress-induced, apparently."

_Oh, great._ So if anything went wrong than it was going to be entirely his fault.

"Kensi didn't want them to call an ambulance," Callen added. "Eric and Nell are driving her to the hospital now."

Deeks stood still for only a moment, his mind processing the information as it came his way. It was only a matter of two seconds before he was pushing between the two men though, making a sprint for the door.

"Oh my _god! _My wife's going into labor! Why didn't you idiots tell me that when you first got here? I' need to-"

"Deeks!" Sam yelled, grabbing his arm and forcing him to a stop as they reached the car outside. It hurt like hell, but Deeks wouldn't allow him to see just how much.

"You've gotta get checked out by a paramedic!"

He shook his head furiously. Geez, _ow. _

"I'm fine. I need to see her. _Drive me._"

It wasn't a question, it was a demand.

There was a brief wave of silence as the two men contemplated his request.

"Sam, _please. _I feel fine."

He only hesitated for a short moment before nodding. "Okay, let's go. G, take the backseat."

"Really?" He asked, only partially teasing as he pulled the door open, pushing the seat forward so he could climb in the back.

Deeks grinned largely, scrunching Callen's knees as he hopped into shotgun.

"It's a special occasion," Sam said, smiling as he slipped into the drivers side. "It sounds like Deeks is about to become a dad."

* * *

"Kens? Kensi!" Deeks yelled as he ran into the emergency wing of the hospital, scanning the room for any sign of his wife. The waiting room of Pacific Beach Medical was cluttered with hordes of people, which was making it difficult for him to pick one single person out of the crowds.

"...I need drugs just to fill out this paperwork! _Of course _I want the goddamn epidural!"

Deeks smiled. _He'd found her. _

A red faced Kensi sat in the corner of the room, looking angry, pissed off and just the tiniest bit scared as she spoke to a nurse.

Or rather, _screamed at a nurse. _

The woman stalked away as she saw people approaching, glad that there would be someone to calm her down besides the two coworkers sitting loyally by her side. Their words of condolence weren't doing much good.

"Hey babe. You okay?" Deeks asked, unable to stifle a chuckle as he approached her side.

Kensi looked up, eyes wide with a strong mixture of fear and relief.

"Deeks!"

He crouched down beside her, staying totally still as Kensi gently ran one hand across his face, her fingertips lingering on each bruise individually.

"Oh my _god," _she whispered, growing misty eyed. "What the hell happened back there?"

He swallowed, brushing the hair out of her face.

"My cover was blown. A few punches and death threats later... here I am."

_Another sharp contraction hit._ She held her breath until it passed, just to avoid screaming.

"You should get checked out," Kensi said, finally allowing herself to exhale.

Deeks shook his head, repeating the phrase he'd already used more times than he could count.

"I'm fine. But it seems that you were ready to have this baby without me. Care to explain yourself, Kensalina?"

She shrugged, but the movement didn't come across quite as nonchalant as she'd intended it to.

"Stress-induced."

"That's what the boys said. I've gotta tell you, I believe you're the only person in the entire universe who can get stressed out enough that their body decides it's time to pump out a mutant ninja assassin. That's not normal, is it?"

She laughed, inhaling sharply. "Please don't make me laugh."

"Does it feel like someone's grinding an ice pick into your side?"

She eyed him incredulously. "Are you asking me if this is comparable to getting shot?"

He nodded. "More or less. I'm just trying to gage your pain level here."

Kensi simply lifted up the clipboard she was still clutching, tapping it twice. Deeks studied the sheet of paper for a moment before realizing what question in particular she was pointing at.

_'Rate your pain on a scale of one to ten.'_

She'd circled ten, then written about fifteen exclamation marks beside it.

He lifted his eyes from the paper. "Right. Bullet wound it is."

Kensi nodded frantically, her eyes flashing over to Nell and Eric.

"Um... give us a minute?"

Nell smiled, standing up and grabbing Eric's hand in order to pull him out of the way.

Once they were gone, standing beside Sam and Callen on the other side of the room, Kensi let out a shaky breath, tears sitting on the brims of her eyes.

Deeks furrowed his eyebrows, resting both hands on her legs.

"What's wrong?"

She gazed directly into his eyes, her hazel and brown staring at his baby blues.

"I was so _scared, _Deeks."

He hated it when she sounded like that. So small and childlike.

"It's okay, babe. You're gonna do fine."

Kensi shook her head, biting her bottom lip. "No, not that. I thought you were _dead. _I thought that I was gonna have to do this all alone."

He snatched up her hand, speaking with an undeniable sincerity. "I'm here, and I'm sorry. You're not doing any of this alone, alright? I'm here."

Deeks stood up and lowered himself into the chair beside her in one fluid motion, wrapping both arms securely around her back. Kensi rested her head on his shoulder, trying her very best to breathe normally.

"Okay."

"We're having a baby," he added, smoothing out her unruly hair.

She smiled, repeating his words. "We're having a baby."

_Contractions. _The time lapses in between were growing shorter and shorter with the passing time. That was a particularly bad one, and although she tried _so _hard to stifle it, Kensi just had to yell.

"_Owwww!" _

She jerked her head away from his, but it was too late to do any good. Deeks was grimacing, one eye pressed tightly shut at the loud, piercing sound.

"Sorry," Kensi croaked out between heaved breaths.

He brushed it off, beaming a smile in her direction. "Don't sweat it."

"I'm already sweating."

"Ah, touché," he said, winking.

Kensi tried smiling back at him, but her breathing deepened when another sharp twinge of pain hit her midsection.

"Mrs. Deeks?" A nurse asked suddenly, approaching with a wheelchair. "We're ready to take you back now."

Deeks smiled up at her, his ears still ringing.

"Good timing."


End file.
